by Pamela Tracy
“My dad’s boots were on the side of the bed. His glasses were on the table. There was even a shirt tossed on the end of the bed. The room looked like it was waiting for him to come back.”
“Yeah, I know that feeling, and it’s harder around holidays. Did you go to Patty’s?”
“Yes,” Robby said, sounding all the world like a little grown-up.
“Why aren’t you at Bernice’s? They always have a huge Thanksgiving.” Natalie snagged a menu from between the ketchup and mustard bottles and stared at it. No way was she going to order food, but she was having a hard time not staring at Lucky. If she kept it up, he might notice that she was staring with interest.
“Mary went into labor. The whole family packed up in ten minutes flat and were out the door. They invited me to come with them, but I’ve spent more than my share of Thanksgivings in hospitals.”
“Mary’s in labor? Why have you spent Thanksgivings in hospitals?”
“Hospitals?” Robby repeated.
The waitress showed up at that moment, took both Robby and Natalie’s ice cream order. When she left, Robby took the salt shaker and stuck it in his mouth.
“Robby, no.” Natalie took it away, and Robby screamed.
Lucky looked surprised.
“This is parenthood, too,” Natalie said. “It’s not all grinning boys in car seats and playing at the park and getting hugs.” With that, she scooted Robby from the booth and took him outside. The crisp November air was a slap in the face and just what Natalie needed. She’d overreacted in there a tiny bit. Robby was acting like a typical three-year-old who’d missed his nap. She was afraid of getting too close to a man who threatened her lifestyle in more ways than one.
“Mommy, we stand here? Get wet?”
“We’re standing here getting wet because I’m about to put you in the car and drive home. You don’t get to scream in restaurants. Do you hear me? If you scream again we’re going home.”
He nodded, but then, he nodded a lot. Sometimes he nodded when she told him the man in the moon liked green peas. One time he nodded when she told him she was going to buy him pink cowboy boots with pretty sequins on them.
Lucky was eating the last of his mashed potatoes. He was also doing that half-smile thing that disarmed her the other day.
“So,” she said, sitting down and returning to the conversation exactly where she left off, “Mary’s in labor? And why have you spent more than one holiday in the hospital?”
“Mary’s in labor. Nobody’s worried. I expect there will be a new grandbaby any minute, and, Natalie, think, what do I do for a living?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“What you do?” Robby questioned.
“I ride bulls.”
“Oh, yeah.”
Robby’s “Oh, yeah” sounded exactly like Natalie’s. Lucky choked a bit on a spoonful of mashed potato, and then burst into laughter. Robby did, too. Laughter that brought tears to his eyes and also brought the waitress running to make sure everything was okay. Finally, Natalie allowed herself to laugh.
“That sounded good,” Lucky said when everybody finally settled down.
“Robby’s ‘Oh, yeah’?” Natalie asked.
“No, you laughing. I don’t think I’ve heard it before. You know what they say?”
“What do they say?”
The ice cream arrived as Lucky flipped his Bible open. “Here, in Ecclesiastes, it says, ‘There is a time to weep and a time to laugh.’”
“I’ve heard that line before,” Natalie said.
“Good, that means you’re open to the Word.”
“I don’t know about that.” Natalie stirred her ice cream for a minute, not taking a bite but not pushing it away. Sometimes what she wanted wasn’t good for her.
Like Lucky.
“I just happened to hear that line somewhere,” she finally said. “I don’t remember where. Probably television.”
“I’ve been sitting here studying the Word. The answers have always been here. Many are in Ecclesiastes. Solomon also says there is ‘a time to be born and a time to die.’ I’ve been angry with God for letting Marcus die. But he didn’t let Marcus die. Marcus chose a dangerous profession. Every bull rider knows the risks. I was angry at God, and I was angry at Marcus. Truth is, I just need to grieve.”
“My father was too young to die,” Natalie said. “And he wasn’t in a dangerous profession.”
The doctors mentioned cholesterol as the major cause of his heart attack, but lately Natalie had wondered if worry about Tisha, about what would happen after the private detective found her, had somehow contributed.
Maybe Tisha contributed to Natalie’s father’s heart attack.
The thought had rocked Natalie’s world one more time.
“Is it in the Bible, the phrase, ‘And the truth will set you free’?” Natalie asked.
“I know that one by heart. John 8:32.”
“So it really is in the Bible?”
“It really is.” Lucky reached across the table, took her hand from the ice cream she wasn’t eating and covered her fingers with his. His palm was rough, but there was that warmth again.
“Mommy, you ’kay?” Robby asked.
“I’m okay.” Natalie wanted to jerk her hand away from Lucky’s, but the truth was, she liked the warmth there. She liked the thought that he kept reaching out to her, wanting to help.
“Mommy, mo ice ceam?” Robby broke into Natalie’s thoughts, reminding her what truth she was hiding and why. Her little man wore more ice cream on his face than was left in the bowl.
“You’re right,” Natalie told Lucky as she pushed her dish of ice cream over to Robby. He’d have a killer sugar rush, but she needed him to be quiet, entertained. She needed to talk with Lucky.
Lucky tapped his Bible. “He said it first. I just repeated it.”
“Money,” Natalie whispered. “I’ve never been in want. After Dad died, it was the first time I ever really worried about what it would be like without it.” She looked up at Lucky. “It’s what drove me to you, asking for help.”
“I’m so glad.” The half smile returned in full force. Lucky bowed his head. It took Natalie a moment to realize he was praying. With his hand resting on top of his Bible, he was praying. She looked at his Bible. It obviously meant a lot to Lucky. It was dog-eared and pieces of papers marked pages.
“What were you praying for?” she said when he raised his head.
“I was actually thanking God for sending you and Robby here. I’m glad Mary went into labor and I wound up eating here with you and Robby.”
He looked at her. “You’re why I’m in Selena.”
“Robby’s why you’re in Selena.”
“Maybe at first.”
Funny, the whole time at Patty’s, she’d felt like there was someplace else she was supposed to be. Here, at the diner, she didn’t have that feeling. Natalie looked at Lucky’s Bible again. “What does He say about sharing children?”
Lucky laughed. “When we first met and everything was going so fast, and you were so afraid and I was so mad, I turned to the Bible. The first story I considered was about Solomon. Two mothers were claiming a child to be theirs. Solomon pretty much said to cut the child in half and let each woman have a part.”
“You’re kidding,” Natalie said.
Even Robby looked interested, like he was following the story.
“No, not kidding. Solomon was a very wise man. The true mother said to give the child to the other woman, to spare his life. The woman who was not the mother said nothing. Thus, Solomon knew who to give the child to.”
“Maybe we need Solomon.”
“Maybe,” Lucky agreed.
“Who Solman?” Robby asked. He really wasn’t interested in Natalie’s ice cream; right now he was more interested in playing with it.
“A very wise man,” Natalie said. Lucky’s spoon inched over, and he snatched a spoonful of Robby’s ice cream.
Natalie took her spoon and helped her
self to Robby’s ice cream.
“Moooommmm.” He snatched up his spoon and took a quick bite and then another and another.
It was gone in a matter of moments.
“Fun, Mommy, this fun.”
“Marcus never ate all his ice cream,” Lucky said. “It always went to waste. But if I tried to take it, he’d gobble it up.”
“You have lots of good memories with Marcus, don’t you?”
“Yes. To me, he was larger than life. Your friend Patty’s husband made me realize something this last Tuesday.”
“Patty told me you looked at her apartment. I told her to rent it to you.”
“I’m considering something else now. Anyway, Richard offered me the church in Delaney, and when I told him I wasn’t a pulpit minister but a bull rider, he said, ‘No, Marcus was a bull rider.’”
“You’re a great bull rider. I was mesmerized at the rodeo.”
“Great? No. Good, yes. I am a very good bull rider, but not like Marcus. Growing up, I did everything he did. I wonder if he ever got tired of a little brother tagging along. Don’t get me wrong, I love bull riding, but I wonder…would I be a bull rider if not for Marcus?”
“You would have been. Something like that, it’s in your blood. You can’t fake it.” For the first time in years, Natalie thought about what she’d given up when she’d refused to get back on her horse. Maybe if she had, she’d be remembered for what happened after the fall instead of remembered for the fall.
“The sport’s changed so much since I was barrel racing. I almost fell off the bench when I saw the first bull rider wearing a helmet instead of a cowboy hat.”
Lucky chuckled. “Change is good.”
Natalie slowly nodded. “Some change.” She rearranged Robby, who was now falling asleep. “That being said, and since this little guy is telling me it’s time to go home, let me tell you what else I’ve been doing since Monday. I’ve been reading articles on the Web about telling children the truth about their heritage.”
Lucky’s eyes lit up. It looked like he was about to say, And you’re going to tell him? but he looked at Robby and instead said, “What have you decided?”
“Seems like the experts agree. Trying to keep the truth a secret is unrealistic over time. It’s traumatic to the person hiding the truth, and it can harm the person who doesn’t know the truth.” She looked down at Robby. “Harming him is the last thing I’d ever do. I thought about telling him Monday, but so much happened that day. We went to the library Tuesday, and I checked out books about this. I’ve been reading them to him at night and emphasizing how special he is. I’m ready to tell him tonight, while you’re here with us.”
“He’s asleep,” Lucky pointed out.
“He’s dozing. He’s not all the way asleep. I can tell by his eyes. Robby, sit up.”
“Otay, Mommy.”
“Robby, you know how Lucky’s been hanging around a lot, trying to get to know us, being our friend.”
Robby nodded.
“Well, he’s going to be around a lot more.”
“Otay.”
“A lot more, Robby, for you,” Natalie emphasized.
Robby nodded again. “Otay.”
“Look over at Lucky. Notice how he looks a lot like you?”
Robby was through nodding. She had his interest, and while he wasn’t understanding everything, he was understanding enough to know something important was going on.
Lucky started looking uncomfortable. “Maybe we should be somewhere else, like a counseling office or with my mother or something.”
“I thought about the counselor,” Natalie admitted, “but Robby knows you, he likes you, and adding a stranger to the mix would only take away from what we’re trying to tell him.” She pulled Robby onto her lap, noticing how big he was getting, and how soon he wouldn’t fit on her lap while they sat in a booth. “Lucky is your daddy’s brother. You know, like Patty’s children are brother and sister.”
Robby no longer looked sleepy. He stared at Lucky for a long time. Then he leaned back against Natalie. “He Daddy?” Robby questioned.
“No, he’s your uncle,” Natalie responded. “A very special uncle.
“Not daddy?”
“Not daddy,” Natalie said again. “He was your daddy’s brother.”
“Sometimes,” Lucky said, “uncles act like daddies.”
“Daddy,” Robby tried the word. Then, he nodded again. “Daddy for keeps.”
Chapter Eleven
“Y es, I’ll be careful. No, I won’t be gone long. Yes, I’ll come right over to see you when I get back.” He was talking to Natalie, but she was merely acting as a go-between for Robby. Robby had all the questions, but they were in a three-year-old lingo that Lucky still needed help translating.
Robby finally got on the phone and said his own, “Bbyyyyeee.”
“Bye,” Lucky said.
Natalie took the phone as Robby ran back to the kitchen to grab a snack. Not even Lucky could compete with the cookies they’d just made. “He talked about you all the way home. He’s not bothered by the truth a bit. He thinks it’s great to have a daddy for keeps. I’ll work on the uncle thing while you’re gone.”
“This time I’ll only be gone for two days. You know, when I first found out about Robby, I skipped a few rodeos. I felt like I had to. Now that Robby knows I’m his uncle, his special uncle, I really don’t want to be away. This weekend, for the first time, I really want to skip rodeos. But I’ve already paid the entry fees. Although I’ve been hit or miss this year, there’s still time to earn some money, at least break even. Plus, with Cowboy Christmas Week coming up—”
“Cowboy Christmas Week?”
“The busiest week a bull rider has. I’ve paid entry fees for more than twelve rodeos, and they all happen in just five days. None of them are next to each other. Usually by this time, I’d either have a driving buddy—” he paused and Natalie knew that he was remembering Marcus “—or I’d have arranged plane fare when I could still get it cheap.”
“Where are you going?”
“This morning I’m flying to Greeley, Colorado. I’ll ride this afternoon and then either catch a ride or hop a flight to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. I’ll ride Saturday night, and then I’ll somehow find a red-eye from there to you. I’ll stop by Sunday morning, take you two out for breakfast, before church. You will go with me?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Have you taken a look at my Bible?”
Natalie thought about the book sitting on the table beside her bed. Last night, Lucky had carried a sleeping Robby to the car, buckled the boy in with a little assistance, and as he held open the door so she could easily slide into the front seat, he’d handed her his Bible.
“Take this home,” he’d said. “Look at some of the passages I’ve highlighted. You’d be amazed at how much they help.”
She started to hand it back, but he closed the door before she could.
He sure had a way of getting her to do what he wanted. First, getting to know Robby. Next, coming to church. Now this Bible thing. “I’ve looked at a few passages,” she admitted. “It’s more interesting than I imagined, but it’s also confusing.”
“I’ll help you understand the confusing parts. Now don’t say you’ll think about it. Say you’ll go with me.”
Her heart sang. Say you’ll go with me. He wanted both of them. Then, she stilled. Her heart had no right to sing. Yes, telling Robby the truth had somewhat set her free, but she had one more secret.
Lucky rambled on, “We’ll discuss Robby, my parents and some other things. I’ll be home for four days, and then the show begins. The truly good news is that the first rodeo I’m entered in for Cowboy Christmas Week is in Odessa.”
“Why is that good news?”
“Because you and Robby can come.”
Natalie didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She heard the exuberance in Lucky’s voice, all because he wanted them to attend, and suddenly she wanted, more tha
n anything, to be there with him.
“I have a hard time at rodeos,” she said, hedging for time.
“I know, but I’ll be with you.”
Natalie paused. I’ll be with you. That seemed to be the dominant theme of most of the scriptures Lucky had highlighted.
“Okay, I’ll really think about it,” Natalie agreed.
Then Natalie had another thought. She’d screamed in both excitement and terror while watching Lucky and the others ride their bulls during the Selena rodeo. She’s been fascinated, but she hadn’t cared for any of them.
She definitely cared for Lucky, so much that it was starting to hurt. “Tell you what, I will go to church with you Sunday morning, breakfast, too, and I promise to think about the rodeo.”
“Robby loves the rodeo.”
“You’re going to have to come up with something better than that,” Natalie teased before saying goodbye.
She thought about the rodeo as she took Robby to the park and then over to Patty’s for a Friday-night movie. She thought about it Saturday morning while she worked on Web sites, signed on two new clients, and even did a keyword search for Tisha. She thought about it while she made Robby breakfast and started both laundry and dishes. She thought about it when the doorbell rang and Robby, a little boy in footed pajamas, ran in front of her to open the door. They were greeted by the local florist who was actually delivering flowers himself.
Roses.
Red and white.
From Lucky to her.
Oh, wow.
“I don’t usually deliver flowers myself, Natalie, but after writing down the message on this card, I just had to follow through.”
“Writing down the message?”
“Yes, most times when I’m filling out the cards for people online or over the phone, it’s just the standard message. You know, ‘Thanks for a wonderful evening.’ ‘Thinking of you.’ ‘I’m glad you’re in my life.’ Your young man, however, gives quite a message.”
Natalie took the flowers, pulling a section of baby’s breath off for Robby, and then opened the card.
I’ve never wanted a home until I met you and Robby. Every day I’m on the road, I’ll be thinking of you and counting the minutes until I come home. Remember what the book of Ecclesiastes says in the third chapter: There is a time to love and a time to hate. Thursday night I realized it was time to love—and I’m falling in love with you. Yesterday morning, I realized it was time to hate—I hated leaving Selena and you and Robby. Call me Lucky in Love.
