Chapter Four
The Muffin Man
A sign lost to time and equally lost to a few weeds, announced Jane had reached her destination with the faded words, AaBack on one posted sign and on the posted sign below it was written, Village of the Yeahmun Slayer. Jane noticed that the name AaBack had large spaces between the upper case A, the lower case a, and the word Back like a child had written them, not knowing how to space properly. She also considered that maybe there had been other letters or words there at some time. She rubbed her hand over the area and felt there had been something there before, but she just shrugged it off and continued on.
She wondered what a yeahmun was, then mounted her bike, now that there was level ground she could ride on, and she peddled to the village. Jane quickly found Drury Lane and the bakery, parked her bike, and then entered the shop that delightfully smelled of fresh bread and pastries.
"Hello," she called out. "Muffin Man?"
"What do you want?" a deep voice asked behind her.
She turned, looked down, and found a red bearded dwarf with blue-gray eyes wearing a white apron with Tasty Dwarf Bakery written on it and a chef's hat. Jane realized her dream was only going to get weirder, so she might as well get used to it. She remembered her first mission and told him, "I've come for a job."
"If that is what you seek, you have come to the wrong place," the dwarf told her as he passed her. "I have all the employees I can stand."
"Really, I was told I should get a job here and to take no for an answer. I mean not to take no for an answer."
He stroked his red braided beard as he gave her a once over, and then he said, "My latest delivery guy never showed. Can you travel great distances in a short period of time?"
"I can."
Muffin Man peered at her again and then he said, "I'll hire you on a trial basis."
"You have a deal. Will I be delivering your wares?"
"You will," Muffin Man told her.
"You mentioned he was your latest delivery guy. Do you have a problem finding loyal workers?"
"No, they are usually the ones who have a problem. They have a problem keeping their lives. The last two were eaten and the one before them disappeared on his way to a delivery. He was one to mess with female magic users, so Bob probably got turned into something."
"Oh," Jane exclaimed as she made a face, and then she asked, "Is anyone else hiring in town?"
"Yeah, the witch in the forest is looking for someone to help lure children into her ginger bread house."
She quickly put her hand out and said, "Good to work for you, boss."
"Boss, huh?" the dwarf remarked as he scratched his pudgy nose. "I like the sound of that."
She dropped her hand after he didn't shake it, and she asked, "What kind of pay do I get?"
"A couple of muffins from the bakery and one pence a day plus tips."
"A pence. Will that get me a room?"
He laughed before he answered, "Maybe five hundred of them, and if you don't mind living down in a smelly sewer with even more smellier giant rats."
"That does put a pickle in things," Jane spoke. "All I have is a credit card, and I'll need a place to stay with a warm bed and a bath."
"You can stay in the loft of the old barn out back," he told her as he threw his thumb over his shoulder. "As for a bath, there's a bathing house next door. Cost you four pence."
"A bath every four days?" Jane muttered to herself. "I hope tips are good or this dream ends before I start to stink."
Muffin Man said, "Well, let's get you started."
"Right now? I was hoping to begin tomorrow. Isn't it a bit late for deliveries?"
"No, you still have a few hours before it starts to get dark. Do you think because you work for a bakery all your hours will be in the wee morning?" he questioned her then went to the back of his shop.
"I thought it was much later than that, but I guess with dreams..."
He returned with a brown paper bag and a clip board, and then he told her, "There's a castle on the hill above this village. Make the delivery and get the owner's signature. This is very important. Get his signature. Without it, I can't bill him, and you need to be back before dark if you want this job."
"Got it," she said as she took the paper bag which contained a wooden box. Jane placed them in her backpack, grabbed the clipboard and quill, and then she asked, "The address."
"You don't need one. It's the only thing up Hill Road except maybe a dragon or a troll."
She noticed the writing utensil and inquired, "Don't I need ink for this quill?"
"It's enchanted with infinite ink, so don't lose it and to answer your next question, yes. The cost would come out of your paycheck, and it would take you ten thousand years, working seven days a week to repay me if you do lose it, so don't." He looked over her unusual garb and questioned her, "You do have a weapon, right?"
"Ah... nooo... Do you think I'll need one?"
He exhaled loudly as he shook his head and mumbled, "The younger generation. Never prepared." He went in the back room, then returned, held out the weapon, and said, "Here."
She took the wooden club with a leather strap at its end and examined the teeth and claw marks all over the wood.
"The last two delivery boys carried that," Muffin Man told her as he folded his small arms and nodded as if approving of the choice. "Should make you a fine weapon."
Jane laughed over how her dream was turning out and then she remarked, "Great weapon... It worked wonders for my predecessors."
"Better hurry," he told her and then he warned her, "Don't want to be on Hill Road after dark."
"Maybe you should show me where I'll be living before I go," she suggested.
"No, I'll wait. I don't want to go through the hassle if you're only going to end up dead."
"Great pep talk, boss," Jane replied with a smile, attached the club to her backpack with its leather strap, then she ran out, and glanced at the sun that was well on its way to end its day trek.
She mounted the bike and within minutes, started peddling up Hill Road. The road went through a dark forest, teaming with life, but it didn't bother her with the assurance all of it was a dream. Jane passed an old woman who looked just like the one who had come to her cottage, but she wasn't wearing a half mask. Jane braked and glanced back, but whoever she had seen had disappeared. She wondered if her eyes played tricks on her and then she peddled off. Once Jane was out of sight, the old woman emerged again on the road and looked in the direction Jane had peddled off into.
The old woman mumbled to herself, "And so it begins..."
Large iron gates opened out as Jane rode up beside them on the road, and she braked again as she got a sense she wasn't alone. Jane peered through the opening and noticed a path, but saw no one there. She thought she was just imagining things just as she imagined she saw the old woman on the road. Jane guessed this was the place she needed to make the delivery to, rode through the gates across a stone path, passed a large walled section of the estate she couldn't see into with the sign Hedge Labyrinth, and stopped at the entrance of a castle. Jane dismounted, put her kickstand down, readied the clipboard, walked up to the large wooden doors, grabbed the eagle head knocker, and struck three times. The booms rang throughout the castle and then as she waited for someone to answer the door, she glanced down at the clipboard to see who the delivery was for. Her heart skipped a beat as a torrent of emotions rushed through her when she read the name, the Beast. Whenever she worked on an illustration for one of the versions of the fairy tale, she always got choked up. The tale told of Beauty who won over the heart of a cursed prince and in the end, he won over her heart. No wonder her dream brought her there. Of all the places, this was where her heart belonged.
Earlier that day...
The Beast walked by the only mirror in his castle and reluctantly gazed at his appearance. The grotesqueness of it made him reel from the reflection and quickly
head for a different part of the castle. He had to lay his eyes on something else to rid his mind of the horrible image burning within it. The Beast entered a large room void of furniture where paintings of different females hung all about. Each of the portraits was of a beauty and had been painted when they at some point over the years had been a guest of his castle. He gazed at them, partaking of their loveliness till the ugly image of himself was swept from his mind. The Beast walked around the many portraits, basking in their exquisite appeal. Each of them had been worthy to be his Belle and even though they were afraid of him when they saw his face, once he hid his appearance from them, his charm gradually won them over. He remembered the last night he spent with each as the offering of their kiss was placed on his desperate lips. Hope had caused his heart to pound rapidly in his chest as he embraced them, but the reality that he had once again been foiled brought with it a devastating disappointment and then an unreasonable disgust. He couldn't bear to look upon them in the flesh again. With his enchantment sadly unbroken, a heavy heart quickly dissolved the charming spell he had over them, and they left his presence forever. The Beast couldn't understand what went wrong. Each of these females could have easily been his Beauty, and they were all eventually willing, so why couldn't any of these exquisite females break his curse?
His stroll turned into a pace as he sought the brush strokes of oil and color, searching for a reason behind the numerous failures. Belle after Belle looked back at him with their lovely faces and portrait sitting smiles. For the first time, he noticed something about each. They were missing something, something he should have noticed before. He scrutinized the canvasses, looking for that trait he missed countless times before on his endless quest to find release from his accursed form. A madness set in as his pace turned into running, and he dashed about the Gallery frantic to find the one thing that might free him. He paused at one of the female paintings as the answer finally struck him. It was their lips. He walked from painting to painting as the answer calmed him back to his normal self. It wasn't that their lips were somehow flawed or there was some sort of imperfection in them; it was just... they were all missing an allure. A strong pull that had drawn him in a lifetime ago and caused him to steal something precious. Each of these would-be Belles was missing it. If only he had discovered this sooner, he wouldn't have wasted his time with the counterfeit Belles and focused on finding his real Beauty.
The Beast paused in the center of the Gallery and gazed upon all of them which was a mixture of princesses, countesses, and other royal maidens. It sadden him that each had come so close to being his Beauty, but a small thing like fleshy brims corrupted the exact elements needed. He was determined not to give up. She had to be out there.
He headed out of the Gallery and pondered his earlier trip to the mirror. It had been ages since he gazed into it, but a force compelled him to peer into it again as that same force compelled him to visit the Gallery. Some sort of magic was at work here, one that gave him a sense that hope had arrived that day. It was hard for him to understand just what kind of sensation possessed him. The best that he could describe it as was that someone precious in his life had been taken away from him a long time ago, and they had mysteriously returned. The Beast knew of no such person, so he let those joyous sediments trickle from his mind as he headed out back. He needed to attend to his daily practice.
Back at the front of the castle...
When no one answered her first attempt, Jane raised her hand to grab the knocker again when a loud commotion from another part of the estate whisked her from her thoughts, and she moved around the castle to find the source. She walked across a grassy lawn and nearly stepped on a small flower. Jane pulled her foot back and then knelt to look at the tiny yellow rose that was no bigger than her pinkie. She thought how cute the flower was, and she was tempted to pick it, but then Jane remembered the trouble it caused in the fairy tale. Jane straightened and walked a little further, then started to hear frantic clanging, went around a corner, and found an open air circular structure supported by columns. The structure surrounded a grassy area where a man stood with his back to her, and he wielded a rapier, fighting another rapier. She saw no one else there, so either the man fought a magical sword or an invisible enemy. The duel continued and then Jane realized the fight was only a practice one, for the man with the rapier would pause, retake his stance, and start again with his cuts and lunges.
Jane moved to one of the columns drawn forward by an urge to get a glimpse of the man. He had to be him; he had to be the one character that always won her affection no matter what version of his story was told. Jane continued moving till she saw his face and as she thought, he was the Beast, a magnificent gorgeous Beast. He had blond shoulder length hair like a lion's mane, blonde fur with patches of brown, cupped lion-like ears, and a lion-like nose. He wore no shirt as he fenced, and a medallion of a beastly creature hung around his neck. The round gold medallion glinted in the sunlight, and she froze as her heart fluttered and a sense of nostalgia hit her. Jane put a hand to the left side of her chest as the muscle pleaded with her to remember something, but her mind refused to give up its locked away secrets.
She wanted to move closer, but resisted his allure. She saw how noble and princely his appearance was and how graceful he moved. Jane remembered in his story, Beauty was afraid at first of his cursed appearance, maybe even appalled. She, though, Jane couldn't get past how gorgeous he was. She loved the way his mane glimmered in the sun and his ears... She wanted to touch them and rub them like a cat's. Was that wrong of her? Was it wrong of her to think of him like some pet? She decided she wasn't. Far from it. She thought to herself, look at his mouth... Those lips... She rubbed her finger over her own lips. If a kiss was all it took... She hugged the nearby column as she spoke, "I'd break his curse any day."
Jane put a hand to her mouth. Had she really said that out loud? She looked around, hoping she didn't say it too loud. Another thought crossed her mind. She just put herself in the role of Beauty. Jane laughed at the notion, but then she thought it was her dream, anything was possible.
"He shall be angry," she heard a male voice speak in a whisper.
Jane looked in the direction she had just come from and saw no one. Many stories of the Beast included invisible servants, so she thought nothing of it.
"Why will he be angry?" she questioned.
"Because you have seen him," the invisible servant replied. "I am amazed you are not screaming or running away in terror. Could it be that you have poor vision?"
"I can see fine," she told him. "And he's the most handsome man I've ever seen, but I can understand not wanting to be spied on. I'll go back to the front of the castle and use the door knocker again. I have a delivery for the Beast."
The servant said no more to her, so Jane wasn't sure if the servant had left or not, so she headed back to the front of the castle without another word, hoping if she did head right for the servant, he would at least get out of her way. When she reached the corner that would take her away from her magnificent view of the Beast, she turned and looked at him once more. He finished his sparring and headed into one of the buildings with what sounded like a few men who must be other invisible servants.
When she was nearly back to the front of the castle, Jane saw two people standing just outside the front doors. From her distance, she thought they were a woman and a child, but as she walked closer, Jane realized the shorter one was a goblin wearing black armor. The woman with him was tall and very thin with red hair, and she wore a tight fitting green dress. The woman lifted her hand which held an emerald cube the size of a Rubik's Cube, then spoke some words of enchantment, a wave of magic shot out from the cube, and it covered the castle and all of the estate. The wave of emerald magic washed over Jane and rustled her hair a bit, and then Jane thought she heard a few thuds around her as if a few of the servants had been following her and had collapsed. She did
n't feel any different and wondered if it was magic, why it didn't affect her. The goblin rammed into the front door and forced it open, and then he and the woman went in. Jane rushed to the front door to find it had been shut again and that it was locked or blocked by something, and she couldn't get in. It would appear the Beast had some unwelcome guests.
Beauty And The Beast: The Classic Fantasy Fairy Tale With A Twist Page 36
