“Why taking samples of course,” she answered, thinking he should know that she’d have to.
“But I’ve already done that. They’re in the notebook I gave you.” The last thing he wanted to do was tromp around in the pollution spread everywhere, some of it was dangerous.
Lauren stopped unloading the supplies she’d need and looked at Seth. “I can’t just take your word for it, I have to have some samples of my own,” Lauren explained patiently.
Seth hadn’t counted on Lauren wanting to spend that much time at the mine. “How long will it take?” he asked, trying to rearrange the schedule he’d had in mind.
“Not more than a couple of hours. Why?” she asked, not liking the look on Seth’s face.
“I just didn’t plan on you spending that much time on the sites, I just thought we’d look and move on,” he finally admitted, his annoyance becoming clearer and clearer.
“It can’t be helped,” Lauren said, and went back to what she was doing.
Seth wasn’t happy about the delay, but made the best use of his time by cataloging the mining equipment for later sale. Regardless of whether or not the renewable energy project happened, the equipment had to be sold. It was a depressing and dirty task that Seth didn’t enjoy, but by the time Lauren was done, he had a comprehensive list of what was there.
When Seth came out of the mine, Lauren couldn’t help but laugh, he had black streaks on his cheeks and both of his eyes were black. “What were you doing in there? You look like you’re on the warpath,” she said, unable to stop herself from laughing.
Seth shot her a dirty look, he was in no mood for teasing. He tried to wipe the grime off his face, but only made it worse and Lauren burst into a fresh peal of laughter. A fresh burst of anger washed over him, but then he looked at her, laughing and smiling, and it drained away. The woman did something strange to him, he thought, as his laughter joined hers.
Over the next few days, they followed a routine, traveling from one cleanup site to the next. Lauren never got used to the shock of seeing the ruined land, and discovered that while the mines were bad, the clear-cut areas were even worse. Acres and acres of bare dirt, the removal the trees so detrimental that nothing but a few straggly trees had grown.
They’d been on the trail for a week when they woke up to dark grey, threatening clouds. Lauren knew what those clouds meant: rain and a lot of it. “That doesn’t look good,” she said, pointing to the bank of clouds moving their way.
“Now you’re a weather forecaster,” Seth said grumpily.
“I don’t have to be a weather forecaster to tell you that we’re going to get rained on,” she shot back at him, not appreciating him taking his bad mood out on her.
Seth sighed. A weather delay right now would mean that he might not be able to get Lauren back home before he had to meet with the Yup’ik, and he really didn’t want to take her with him. She’d done fine on the trail, picking up survival skills like she was born in the wilderness. But his negotiations with the tribe were a delicate matter, tradition had to be followed, and it would be a lengthy process.
He could have told her right then, but he was still hoping that the rain wouldn’t come and that they’d be able to stay on schedule. “Let’s get on the trail, we may need to find some shelter for the night and I know a cave that would be perfect, but it’s several hours from here.”
Lauren looked at the sky again. “Sounds like a good plan to me. I wouldn’t want to be caught in a storm out here,” she said, and headed for her four-wheeler.
They just made it to the cave before the skies opened up and the rain began to come down, soaking them both before they could get their gear into the cave. But once inside, with a fire burning brightly, they changed into dry clothes and had a hot meal. Then they sat back to wait out the storm hoping that by morning it would have passed and they’d be able to continue to the next site. But their hopes were dashed the next morning when a loud clap of thunder woke them both. Instead of getting better, the storm had only intensified overnight.
Seth groaned from his sleeping bag which he’d placed as far from Lauren’s as he could. “Looks like we’re not going anywhere today, might as well go back to sleep.”
Lauren sat up in her sleeping bag and saw the rain still coming down in heavy waves. “I guess not,” she said, and snuggled back inside.
The next time she woke up, there was no going back to sleep; besides the fact that nature was calling, she was starving. When she got back to the cave, Seth was up too and had a small fire built, just enough to keep off the chill. She shivered and pulled off her rain gear, glad that she’d let Heather talk her into buying it.
Seth came up and stood beside her. “I don’t think we’ll be leaving again today and that’s all the firewood we have,” he said, pointing to the small pile in the corner of the cave. “I’ll go get some more if you’ll make us some breakfast.”
“I’ll go with you,” Lauren said, heading for her rain gear again.
“No, I can do it on my own, I’ll use the trailer. But you can help me unload it when I get back,” he said, blocking her way. The truth was that he needed to get away from Lauren for a little while; he’d spent most of the night tossing and turning thinking about her sleeping just a few feet away from him.
What at first had been a mild attraction to Lauren had grown over the last week into full infatuation, a situation he’d been unable to avoid no matter how hard he’d tried. He’d found himself thinking about her more and more, and had barely stopped himself from kissing her several times over the last few days. Now cooped up with her in the cave, he was finding it even harder to resist.
This had certainly not been part of his plan, he’d wanted to bring her up here, exhaust her, and take her home. But now, not only was he beginning to like the woman, but he was beginning to respect her, her determination to do her share and learn how to survive in the wilderness made it difficult not to.
Plus, she did strange things to his body, awakening a desire unlike anything he’d ever felt before. He wanted her, that much he understood, but why he wanted her was a mystery to him, one he had to decide if he was up to solving. Something about Lauren scared him, confused him, but made him feel wonderful, like when he was with her wonderful things were possible.
Chapter 6
Lauren watched Seth put on his rain gear and leave the cave, cursing her beating heart. How could the simple act of putting on rain gear make her heart beat faster? This fascination with Seth had to stop, it was unprofessional and sure to end with her getting her heart broken. She knew that Seth was the last kind of man she should get involved with, and wasn’t even sure that he was feeling what she was feeling.
She’d thought that he was going to kiss her a couple of times over the last few days but had backed away in the end. It might have just been her overactive imagination and the fact that she hadn’t been with a man in over two years, a conscious choice she might be paying for right now. Deep down she was very aware that if he’d tried to kiss her, she would have let him but kept telling herself that she would never let it go any farther.
To push the thoughts of what that farther might include from her mind, she set about making breakfast. Rummaging through the boxes of supplies, she got out their usual: oatmeal with dried fruit and nuts. They’d both been carefully rationing their coffee, but Lauren decided that today was the kind of day that called for a nice strong cup, maybe even two cups. As she was digging around in the boxes, she knocked one over to reveal a big black box she didn’t remember seeing before.
When she opened it up, she was shocked to discover that it was really a cooler and it was full of meat, cheese, milk, and eggs. There was even a compartment full of fresh fruit and vegetables. She tried not to be angry, it was clear that Seth hadn’t eaten any of the food, but when she thought about all the freeze-dried food she’d eaten over the last week it was hard.
While she made breakfast, she kept telling herself that Seth had to have a good re
ason from bringing all this food and not telling her. But the minute he got back into the cave she confronted him. “What is all this?”
Seth had the good grace to look embarrassed. “Um, let’s eat breakfast and I’ll tell you,” he said, trying to figure out what to tell her. It had been a stupid juvenile thing to do, but he’d hidden the food from her so she’d have to eat the freeze-dried stuff.
Lauren shot him a dirty look, but got their food and handed him his. They sat down by the fire and ate in silence for a few minutes, but Lauren had come to the end of her patience. “Well?”
“Look, I’m just going to be honest with you. I didn’t tell you about the food because I figured you’d get tired of the dehydrated stuff and want to go home. I was trying to make this as difficult for you as possible hoping you’d cut the trip short, then I was too embarrassed to tell you,” he said, unable to meet her eyes.
Lauren thought about that as she ate her oatmeal, then poured them both a cup of coffee. There was really no way that she could be mad at him for doing almost the same thing she’d been doing. Seth did look sorry and there was all that food in the cooler, just thinking about it made her mouth water.
“I’ll forgive you as long as you say we can eat some of that,” she said, then added, “I’ve been trying to make this harder on you too. I really didn’t need those samples, but you were in such a hurry…”
Seth was so happy that she wasn’t mad, a reaction he’d have to think about later, that he didn’t tell her that he was still in a hurry and that this storm had created a new problem. Instead, he said, “Lauren, I really am sorry. It was a juvenile thing to do, but I was going to tell you about it today.”
She knew that she’d have to take him at his word, and she had done some things to make the trip more difficult too. “I guess we better both start acting like adults,” she said, shrugging her shoulders, thinking that it felt nice not to be sparing with him for once.
“Truce?” Seth suggested.
“Truce,” Lauren agreed.
By the time they’d eaten dinner, the rain had finally quit, but they were trapped in the cave for one more night. Lauren was grateful for its protection, but it was beginning to feel much too small for she and Seth together. They were sitting next to each other by the fire, full of dinner but far from sleepy, both bored to tears. Lauren had tried to read the book she’d brought and Seth had tried to work, but neither could concentrate with the tension that had grown between them.
Lauren was lost in her own thoughts, thoughts of Seth, when he asked, “How did a southern girl like you end up in Alaska?” He’d been dying to ask her, but not brave enough until boredom got the better of him.
Lauren thought about his question. She’d certainly asked it of herself often enough over the last week. “Honestly, this isn’t exactly what my plan was. I sort of ended up at the EPA after I graduated,” she said, not quite sure how to explain how she’d ended up with the job she had. “I have a degree in biochemistry, but most of the jobs I could have gotten without any more education were in a lab.”
“Why didn’t you keep going with your education?” Seth asked.
“I’m not like you, I had to pay for my education. I got grants and scholarships, but that wasn’t enough to cover everything, I had to work to pay for the rest. When the internship with the EPA came up, it seemed like a good way to make some connections, and it was a paid internship.”
“But it’s not really what you wanted to do.” Seth was seeing a side of Lauren he hadn’t seen before and knowing that she’d worked so hard only to end up in a job that wasn’t her choice made him sad.
“No, but I found myself fast tracked, and here I am. Sometimes I wonder if it’s my education and talent that got me here or… well the fact that I’m a black woman.” She’d never voiced that fear to anyone before, and she shouldn’t be saying it now, but it felt good to say it out loud.
“I’m sure that can’t be the reason. Why would they put you in charge of something as big as this if that was true?” Seth asked, completely unaware of how things worked in the government.
“Because I’m a good scapegoat, if this goes badly, I’ll be the one who gets the blame. The press won’t care that all of this happened long before I took over, they’ll roast me and the director will fire me. It will be a big story for a little while, then it will fade.” Lauren felt a weight lifted off her shoulders, wondering why she was telling Seth all of this, when it might help him in the end.
But she’d long ago stopped fighting him; whatever happened from here on out, he had her support and he seemed to sense that. “I promise this is going to work, you won’t be used as a scapegoat, in fact this will make your career,” he said, and then without thinking pulled her into his arms and hugged her.
When his arms came around her, a small storm of emotions erupted inside Lauren. She’d wondered what it would feel like to have his strong arms around her, but nothing could have prepared her for the real thing. She looked up at him to see if he’d felt it too and when their eyes met she saw the desire in their blue depths. Flustered she tried to pull away, but he pulled her closer and brought his mouth down on hers.
His lips were firm and soft, and when his tongue dipped into her mouth, she sighed with pleasure, the kiss so much better than she’d imagined. Giving in to his explorations was easy, she simply closed her eyes and let him kiss her, suddenly feeling so alive she didn’t want him to stop. But when his hands began to roam over her body, she suddenly realized what they were doing and pulled out of his arms.
Jumping to her feet, she circled the fire and stared at him. “We shouldn’t have done that,” she said, bringing her fingers up to her lips which were still alive with the feeling of his. “It’s unprofessional.”
“Unprofessional or not, that was the best kiss I’ve ever had,” Seth said, getting up from where he’d been sitting and stepping in front of her. “Can you honestly say you didn’t enjoy it?”
Lauren wanted to deny how wonderful the kiss had been, but she couldn’t. “It was a nice kiss, but Seth, it’s a really bad idea. This is my career we’re talking about. Besides don’t you have plenty of women who would be happy if you kissed them?” Lauren was desperate to convince him that getting involved was a mistake, the whole time wishing they could.
Seth seemed to come back to himself, the power of the kiss draining away with her words. “I’m sorry, you’re right. The last thing you’d want to do is get involved with someone like me. I’m sure someday you’ll want to have a family, children maybe, and I have no plans to do any of those things,” he said, turning away from her and going to his sleeping bag. “Let’s just get some sleep, we’ll get an early start tomorrow.”
Lauren was still thinking about the kiss the next morning; it had been an eye-opening experience for her, nothing in her past could even compare to the way she felt when Seth kissed her. Had they been in different circumstances she never would have pushed him away, probably would have let him take that kiss as far as he wanted to. She was sure that his declaration about never getting married and having kids was designed to put her off, but in fact it had done the opposite.
They hadn’t ever talked about it, but Lauren had made her mind up long ago that she would never put herself in the same position her mother had been in. She’d never let a man rule her life the way her father had ruled her mother’s, she had dreams and plans that had nothing to do with taking care of a man and a bunch of kids for the rest of her life. Call her selfish, but that’s the way she planned to live her life. She had more than enough family already, she didn’t need one of her own.
She turned the possibilities of a relationship with Seth over and over in her mind, but couldn’t find any way around the fact that it would always be unprofessional, unless she quit her job, and great kisser or not she wasn’t about to do that. The only answer she could come up with was to keep her distance, to make sure that nothing like the kiss last night ever happened again.
Watchi
ng Seth load his gear, she wished that it didn’t have to be that way. Seth made her feel good, made her feel things she’d never felt before. Sighing because she knew she couldn’t have what she wanted, she loaded her gear and got ready to leave. There were only a few days left before they went home, if she could just make it till then, she’d make sure that they were never alone again, even if she had to drag Heather with her everywhere she went.
As they drove off, Seth was thinking about the kiss too, only he was thinking about kissing Lauren again. Never had a woman affected him the way Lauren had, just kissing her had made his blood boil and his groin tighten. Rarely did he pursue a woman, they came to him and he used them as he needed, but Lauren was different. Not only did she stir him physically, but she challenged him mentally.
He knew that he should back off, professionalism and all that, but he wasn’t going to. As simple as his life was, he never gave up on something he wanted, not since his father had thrown him out of his study. That day he promised himself that if he wanted something he’d get it, and he wanted Lauren more than he’d wanted anything in a long time. The only trick was going to be convincing her that a physical relationship between them wasn’t going to interfere with her doing her job, which might not be all that easy.
If nothing else he’d simply wear her down; he’d felt her response when he’d kissed her, felt the passion brewing beneath the surface. Eventually she’d give in to the desire that was blossoming between them. It was only a matter of time before she’d give in, and he’d have some extra time, thanks to the storm.
It wasn’t long before she figured out that they were going the wrong way. “Aren’t we supposed to be heading south, not north?” she asked, when she figured out which way they were traveling.
“I’ve been putting off telling you that there’s no time for me to take you home. If I do I won’t make my meeting with the Yup’ik,” he said, waiting for an explosion.
Weak For You Page 6
