Kylie
Everything was suddenly a bright white after an eternal amount of darkness.
The light burned my eyes.
I was dead and I had finally reached heaven. After all the darkness I had thought for sure that I was on my way to hell. I guessed not. Maybe there were still small miracles left in the world. It was so bright, so white, that I finally had to shield my eyes. The movement sent a searing pain through my arm and I hissed. Maybe this was hell after all, because surely heaven wouldn’t be so painful.
“Principessa?” whispered the voice of an angel. My angel. Oh, no! He was dead too! But how?
The pain became more intense. My sides hurt which made it hurt terribly to breathe. Breathe? I shouldn’t be breathing. I was dead, wasn’t I?
I felt gentle, hesitant, hands flutter around my head and then cool lips touch my forehead. I blinked to adjust my eyes to the bright light.
“Jonathon?” I whispered in my hoarse, shaky voice.
I heard him sigh in relief, “It’s so good to hear your voice, my love.”
“Am I dead?” I asked even though I knew it was silly.
“No,” he chuckled, “you’re not. You’re alive principessa. Never, ever, do that to me again. I’ve been so worried.”
“Sorry,” I winced, “what happened?” I knew the basics but I needed to hear it to know that I hadn’t made bits and pieces up. I swallowed and my throat was beyond dry. “Can I have some water first?” I asked.
“Of course, love,” he murmured and disappeared. He was back a moment later with a plastic cup full of water. He held the delicious liquid to my lips and I slurped it greedily. Nothing had ever tasted so good before. He sat back in the chair and placed the empty cup on the small bedside table. “Well, principessa we were in a car wreck. A bad one.”
“That man? Did you see him too?” I asked. Memories of the crash came flooding back to me.
“Yes, principessa, I saw him too,” he ran his hand through his hair. “I am so sorry. I can’t believe this happened. I overreacted and we went off the road, down an embankment. I just- I don’t know where he came from. I know that’s no excuse but it’s the truth.”
“Jonathon,” I placed my hand on his smooth chin, “this was not your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s that man’s for being stupid enough to stand in the middle of the road. Don’t blame yourself. I saw what happened. One second the road was empty, the next he was just standing there. Things happen, and this was no different. I’ll heal and we’ll move on.”
“You are so amazing? Do you know that?”
I laughed and it hurt. “Ow,” I clutched my chest.
“Principessa, are you okay?” He asked, his hands feathering over me, but not touching.
“I’m fine. Or I will be, when you kiss me,” I smiled. I wanted to get rid of that wrinkle between his brows. I hated seeing him so worried. I hated even more being the cause of his worry.
It worked and the wrinkle disappeared. He smiled and leaned in. He pressed his lips gently against mine. “There’s something else you should know,” he winced.
“What?” I asked, scared. It had to be bad to cause the look that was on his face.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked with pain filled eyes.
“Tell you what?” I replied, puzzled. What was he talking about? I was completely lost and that made me feel stupid.
“That you were pregnant?”
“What?” I gasped in shock, “I’m not pregnant.”
“Not anymore. You lost the baby in the accident. Why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me?”
“What do you mean? I didn’t know. It hadn’t occurred to me yet. I was still so clouded with everything that happened, that I guess I didn’t notice,” I scrunched the hospital blanket between my fingers.
He ran his fingers gently through my hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered, leaning into his touch. “I was pregnant?” I asked again, in shock.
“Yeah,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand.
I don’t know why, but I felt immensely sad. I hadn’t known I was pregnant, but to know that I had lost a baby, mine and Jonathon’s baby, made me feel worthless. I knew Jonathon was relieved, he had told me the risks, my death, but I didn’t care. It still made me feel sad to know that I had lost my baby. It was like some sort of cruel punishment to give me such an amazing gift and then have it taken away. I knew that I would risk my life to have our baby. I could picture it in my head. Our baby would be beautiful. I pictured it having my dark hair but his curls and bright eyes the color of Jonathon’s when he was human. I realized suddenly that I had never asked Jonathon what his human eye color had been.
So, I did.
“They were brown, like my dad’s, one of the only things I ever really got from him and now they’re gone. My mom had blue eyes. My dad was pure Italian but my mom was from Sweden. I guess we got a lot of her traits, because neither Joseph, Diana, or I, look Italian. It’s kind of amazing, since her traits wouldn’t be as dominate with her light hair and eyes.”
“I wish I could have meant them,” I whispered, picturing his parents in my mind.
I felt foolish for being sad about losing the baby. I should be happy. To have our baby would have meant my death but I couldn’t help myself. I felt like I was lighter, like I was missing a part of myself. I put my hand to my stomach. I guessed I would never have our baby if I wanted to stay human. But a part of me didn’t care. I would do it anyway, just to have one glimpse of our child, to be a mother. I had always wanted to be a mom. I had always loved kids, and always wanted my own, but when I met Jonathon I had just put it out of my mind because I knew it would kill me. But now—Now, I wanted it bad.
I tried to dam the tears back but Jonathon must have seen them sparkling in my eyes.
“Oh, principessa it’s okay to be relieved.”
“Relieved?” I snapped, “I am far from relieved Jonathon. I am a failure. I lost our baby,” I whispered.
“Kylie,” he tucked a few stray hairs behind my ear, “It was not meant to be. Do not be upset over something that was beyond your control. You have to understand that it wouldn’t have been a normal pregnancy for you. It would have been extremely hard on your body and the birth would have ultimately killed you.”
I rolled away from him, and tucked my hands under my head, as I stared at the wall. I couldn’t look at him right now. Partly because I was upset with what he said, and partly because I knew he was right. I needed to get my head together and realize that this was a good thing. I would get to enjoy life with Jonathon for a while longer, but it felt like there was always something trying to kill me. First Selena, then the car accident, and now our miscarried child. I had a lot to think about. Was I willing to give up my life for a chance at having our child? Would I become a vampire simply because I desired to be a mother? The answer should be simple but it was anything but. I had no idea what I would do.
Jonathon came around the other side of the bed so that I couldn’t escape his silver gaze. I tried to hide my face in the pillow. His hand ran gently down the length of my spine.
“Principessa, I don’t know what to tell you to make you happy. Please don’t be mad at me,” he said forlornly.
I turned to look at him. “I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you. I love you too much for that. I’m just upset. Give me some time. I know you’re right and that this was for the best but that doesn’t make it any better.” He looked a little bit better, but still worried. I didn’t tell him this but I was also mad at myself for yet another reason; not realizing I was pregnant. How could I have been so ignorant? Was I so caught up in my own misery that I didn’t notice the child beginning to grow in my womb? Well, at least I knew the answer to that question. I had been so blindly oblivious to everything for over a month that I didn’t even notice my missed period, and I guessed if I had, I would have attributed it to
my grief. Grief had been my answer for everything and I needed to stop. I needed to move on. I laughed to myself. I guess I had been, moving on that is, when the car went off the embankment. Just when I was beginning to come out of my stupor and live my life with my new family something had tried to stop it. Maybe the man in the road hadn’t been a coincidence. I didn’t want to voice my revelation to Jonathon but I knew I had to. I had withheld too much from him that ultimately landed me in some kind of trouble.
“Jonathon?” My voice cracked.
“Yes?” he replied and I saw how tired and stressed he looked. He had been extremely worried about me and here I was acting like a brat. I felt horrible.
“The man in the road… do you think maybe he was there for a reason?” I asked.
He ran his hands through his hair and sighed, “I’ve thought about it, a lot, and yes I think maybe he was there for a reason.”
“Why would he want to kill us? I mean, me?”
“I don’t know. I’ve went over it in my head a thousand times and I can’t think of an answer to that question. I’ve tried but I just- I don’t know,” he said.
I could see how much it pained him to say that he didn’t know. I reached out a hand and entwined his fingers with mine.
“Let’s just not think about that for a while, okay? I love you,” I smiled.
“I love you too,” he kissed my lips gently.
“Do the others know? About the baby?” I asked. We hadn’t told anyone that we had sex and so I wasn’t sure if he had told them or not after the car wreck. I hoped none of them knew. I didn’t want them to think any less of me.
“Only Patrick, he was here when the doctor told me, but the others don’t know. I asked Patrick not to tell them.”
“Thank you.” A single tear escaped the corner of my eye and began to cascade down my cheek.
“Oh, principessa,” he leaned over, and with a soft, hesitating finger, he gently wiped the tear away. He kissed me again just as the door to my room opened. He stood and moved back to the other side of the bed and deposited himself in the chair.
The doctor strode in, he was probably in his late forties early fifties, with dark hair, skin, and eyes. He also had a beard. He seemed friendly.
“Good, you’re up,” he smiled pleasantly, “How are you feeling?”
“Sore,” I answered. Jonathon gently took my hand in his.
“That’s good. Sore is better than painful or broken. You’re a very lucky girl. Very lucky,” he said. He came over and checked some monitors and then took my temperature. “Everything looks good. I’d say you can expect to be released some time tomorrow. If the pain gets to be too much just push this button and a nurse will come in with some pain killers. Your ribs are bruised and they will be sore and tender for quite a while.” He gave me another small smile and said, “Your family has been waiting eagerly for you to wake up shall I send them in?”
I looked at Jonathon. He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand. “Yes, of course. I’d love to see them,” I nodded.
He left, and a moment later Patrick and Amelia appeared with Diana, Joseph, Danny, Mason, and a surprise visitor.
“Gabriel,” I gasped in shock.
He looked like he would blush if he could. “I heard what happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay, so here I am.”
“I’m glad you came,” I said, and held my arms out for a hug. They all took turns hugging me.
Diana whispered in my ear, “I’m so happy that you’re okay. We’ve been so worried.”
They all looked so relieved that I was inclined to believe her. Diana was famous for her exaggerations.
“How are you feeling?” asked Amelia taking my hand that Jonathon wasn’t holding.
“I’m fine, Amelia, really. I’m sore, but like the doctor said, it could have been a lot worse. I guess I have Jonathon to thank for that.”
“What?” he said, looking surprised.
“Didn’t you put your arm out stop me from moving? It felt like you did, anyway, maybe I’m crazy and imagining things.”
“I did, but I’m no hero. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be there. I overreacted,” he looked down at the floor, “it’s my fault you’re laying here now.”
“Jonathon,” I put my hand to his cheek. His silver eyes met my green ones. “It was not your fault. It was that man’s fault for stepping in front of the car. Stop blaming yourself. We’ve already been over this and you know I hate repeating myself.”
“I’ll stop,” he said with a small smile, “you are much too kind to me.”
“I just hate thinking that you blame yourself for something that was out of your control.”
“Ugh,” Mason groaned, “can we please stop this love fest already? You’re making me ill.”
Jonathon laughed and it was so good to hear his laugh, “Mason, you just wait until it’s you.”
Mason smirked, “I guess you’re right. I’d be a whole lot worse than you. I mean, look at me, the poor girl won’t be able to keep her hands off of me.” Danny laughed and punched his brother in the arm.
They laughed and even Jonathon and I joined in the fun. It was nice to smile and laugh after all that I had heard when I woke up. This is what family is supposed to be, I thought to myself. Even Gabriel was loosening up to the rest of the family, instead of just me.
I was ready, I knew, to be a part of this family permanently.
“Diana? Amelia?” I said. They came forward and the others stopped talking. Jonathon looked at me and I gave his hand a squeeze. I could feel the heavy engagement ring on my finger. I was glad it hadn’t been damaged in the accident. I looked up at him and smiled. Then I looked back at the two waiting women. “I think it’s time to start planning a wedding,” I grinned.
They both squealed and hugged me. The smile on Jonathon’s face was huge. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” I answered honestly.
He kissed me passionately in front of everyone. He broke away and looked up at his family. “You heard the lady, we have a wedding to plan.”
Chapter Three: Planning
As the doctor predicted, I was released the next morning. They gave me a boat load of pain killers that I couldn’t see how I would ever need. The others were at home waiting for us. It would just be me and Jonathon. He wheeled me out in a wheelchair, which I thought was completely unnecessary, and scoffed the entire time, but he would hear none of it. I sat with my arms crossed, my lips pouted, and my cheeks flaming. I was extremely embarrassed. I was sure no one was bothered with watching some strange girl get wheeled in a wheelchair, but it still bothered me. I always hated to be viewed as weak and here I was being wheeled out of the hospital. It royally sucked. The automatic doors opened and the early morning sunshine shone a promising light.
A dark car I had never seen before was parked waiting for us. Jonathon wheeled me right up to the car and opened the door. I saw that it was a brand new Chevrolet Camaro, black on the outside and black leather on the inside.
Jonathon saw me looking and said, “There was nothing salvageable left from the mustang and I had been wanting a new car so—” he shrugged, with a sheepish expression. “And this one is crash proof. Watch,” he punched the car door. I could tell that he had put a lot of force into the punch and if it was a normal door it would have fallen off with his vampire strength. Instead, there was not even a dent.
I shook my head. “Crash proof? Seriously?”
His eyes became dark, “I will not take any risks with you. It happened once, it could happen again. I learned my lesson.”
I didn’t say anything else. I knew he was doing this because he was worried about my well-being and still seething from the accident. I put my hands on the arms of the wheelchair to push myself up. My ribs and chest were still sore from the wreck. The doctor warned me to keep taking the pain medicine. He said that if I missed a dose, the pain would escalate.
“No, principessa,”
Jonathon scolded and my legs were swept out from under me before I could stand.
“Jonathon,” I groaned.
“Hey,” he smiled, “I could have carried you out of the hospital like this but instead I let you retain some dignity by using the wheelchair.” He quirked his eyebrows as he settled me into the plush seat. I reached behind me for the seatbelt but he was already buckling me in.
I decided to let him have his fun. He climbed in behind the wheel not bothering to return the wheelchair. I noticed something floating in peripheral vision. I turned around to see what it was. “Jonathon—” I groaned.
Floating behind me was a huge balloon that said: GET WELL SOON….well, the equivalent of it, in Italian.
“Wait, there’s more,” he said and leaned into the back to pull something else out. He emerged with a giant, and I mean giant, teddy bear holding a heart. He pushed the bear into my hands. “For you my love,” he chuckled and kissed my cheek.
“Cheesy but cute,” I smiled. “Thank you.”
He laughed, “It accomplished what I wanted.”
“Which is what?” I asked as he pulled away from the hospital.
“It made you smile,” he glanced at me.
“You are too sweet, and kind to me, you know that right?”
“I’m far from either of those things. I just love you and I hate seeing you so hurt and sad,” he looked intently at the road. “I feel like the pain of losing the baby hurt you more than the physical injuries,” he whispered.
I should’ve known he would pick up on that. Jonathon could read me like an open book.
I looked out the window and away from him. “It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t meant to be. It wasn’t the right time. After all, I don’t want to be a pregnant bride,” I joked.
“Are sure you’re ready to start planning the wedding? We can wait a couple years; have a nice long engagement, if you want?”
“As much as my brothers would love that, I don’t want to wait a second longer. I’m ready.”
“Do you have a date in mind?” he asked.
“Well, kind of. I don’t want it in October because that’s too soon. November isn’t good because that makes me think of when you left and December is when Selena kidnapped me, so that’s out of the question too. January would work but I never pictured myself getting married in the winter. February doesn’t seem right. I want it to be its own special event, with no darkness clouding it, and nothing to distract from it, so I’m thinking May,” I said.
Forever (Fallen Series Book 3) Page 2
