by Rhodes, Beth
“I’m not talking a marriage in name only,” he answered quickly.
“Of course not,” she said, as her brow rose.
He was starting to get the idea that she might be mocking him. “You did like the sex, didn’t you?”
Now she was laughing, and he frowned. “Well?”
“Yes. I did. I liked it too much.”
“You say that like there’s something wrong with it.”
She pulled away. “Where I come from, there is. I never should have made love to you, David. And I’m just not sure marriage is the way to make everything right again, but I want it to be.”
“Why?”
“Because I want my baby to have a mom and dad.” She shook her head and turned away. “Because without you I’m a coward.”
“What?” He grabbed her arm to stop her.
“I don’t want to face my family.”
He thought back to her family, to seeing her with them. Strong Catholic traditions. “You’re not a coward, Maria.”
“I don’t want to face them. Sex can be excusable if we’re in love, if we’re engaged—if! I…” She lifted a shoulder. “I thought perhaps there was a chance we shared more than bodily fluids.”
“Oh.” Now he was speechless. He’d never been faced with the idea that sex could be wrong. His entire life, he’d lived with choice—good or bad choices, but always the choice and the consequence that followed. Leaving Maria had been a consequence he’d had to live with in order to save himself the pain of what he’d begun to feel around her.
“I’m not sorry about the choice we made, Ree.”
“Even though a baby came from it?”
“The baby had no choice,” he answered as an unexpected feeling of irritation rose inside him. “We did. We used protection. If this is what comes from being careful, then we deal.”
Her hands fell to her sides. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. Maria turned away, wiping at her face as she did, and she crossed the room to the small table next to the recliner where she reached for a tissue from the box there.
“Why are you crying now?” Exasperation rolled through him. “This is a good plan. It covers all the bases for having a long, happy, healthy relationship.”
“Nothing feels real. You talk about getting married like it’s no big deal. No, like it is a deal, a contract of some kind.” She cleared her throat. “I never planned to marry more than once.”
Her phone shrilled in her pocket, cutting her off, and she pulled it from her back pocket. “I should take this.”
David nodded. “Go ahead.”
He turned to leave.
But something stopped him before he crossed the threshold. Maybe it was the worry that her family had been harder on her than she was willing to admit. Something had driven her to come all the way across the country. Guilt? Fear?
She’d turned her back on him, but he could still hear.
“I should be home as expected at the end of the week, Mom.” She glanced behind her, and—oh, my God—she was about to lie. Her shoulders were tense. Her head was tilted, just barely. “Everything’s fine here.” Ree hesitated, clearing her throat. “I love you, too, Mom. Yeah…no. Are you sure you don’t need me to come home. Well, tell Michael to quit doing stupid stuff.” She laughed, but it fell short of a true laugh. “I know, Mom. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
David slipped out.
She hadn’t told her family.
Lies. Secrets. He’d lived with that once in his life and it had torn him apart.
He couldn’t do it again. He wouldn’t. The idea to marry her had been purely business. Perhaps his dad was right. Some kind of contract would be good so that she knew honesty was expected between them. If it was all out in writing, there would be no mistake.
And his child would never grow up with the pain of a mother who lied to the ones she loved.
6
Do you need me to come home?
She’d asked, not even knowing if she could get home yet there was this glitch in her personality that wanted so badly to be needed, by someone—anyone. Yet even when her brother had sliced his hand open with a tool, there was always someone else who could handle it. Maria might be the nurse in her family, but you couldn’t tell by looking.
Don’t be silly. You’re three thousand miles away!
Being called an idiot by her younger sister wasn’t that new either. Maybe she was an idiot. She’d trusted David last October, hadn’t she?
And now her mom seemed suspicious, which sent nerves fluttering through her stomach. She should have told her as soon as she’d figured it out in December, but she’d been ashamed. And then she’d hit the bottom of the barrel and been too sad to talk about it, especially with her sister finally hooking up with Zack. Everyone falling in love and getting a chance at happily-ever-after.
Ever since deciding to confront David, she’d grown used to the idea of having this baby. Not only that, she’d grown unmistakably maternal. Just the thought of holding her baby caused her to smile now. And a desire to share her excitement was getting harder and harder to hold in reserve, especially when it came to her family.
They might be disappointed, but they wouldn’t suggest anything as outrageous as moving across the country and marrying a practical stranger—one who merely liked her. Was it the right thing to do for her baby? Seeing him again, even if it had been a shock, even if it had angered her, she wanted it to be.
Glancing around the room, she bit at her poor, worn lip then pulled the Chapstick from her pocket and swiped it over them.
And she hated herself for wanting what he offered. This wasn’t the way to her great independence. But was it weak?
She didn’t think so little of herself to marry a man she didn’t love, settle for a life without love. But she remembered the thrill of buying that plane ticket. Her first time out of state. A decision she’d made, as an adult. Money, she’d spent without looking over her shoulder.
A liberation of sorts from the scrutiny of her family. She’d been known to be a tad flighty at times. A romantic, for sure.
It was the reason she’d remained single and unmarried through college and into her career. She’d always been waiting for true love, romance. She thought she’d found it, in David. He hadn’t even had to try. It had been love at first-flipping-sight.
And look where her romance and sentiment had gotten her—pregnant and alone.
But darn, she liked it. Both parts. Sometimes it seemed she’d never been alone a moment in her life. And the baby—her heart softened. She wanted the baby—no matter what, because, out of everyone in this world, he needed her like no one else.
She left the den and headed toward the front of the house, slowly making her way back to what she thought was the foyer. She found a study, a beautiful room with dark woods, shelves piled with books. Like a movie set. The large desk in the middle of the room was neat yet used. Pencils on the smooth top and papers in front of the computer monitor evidenced this as a place of work, not show.
She kept going until she reached the front hall. He’d brought her bags in and put them at the bottom of the steps. She sat with a sigh and looked at her watch. One o’clock.
Snow was still falling. The day was crawling by.
“Hey.”
She glanced up at the sound of his voice as he came around the corner and flared a deck of cards on front of him with a playful grin. “Cards?”
He made her smile, but she bit her lip against it. “Dav—”
“Come on,” he interrupted and pulled her up off the step. “If a game of cards doesn’t work, we’ll try a movie. Okay?”
She nodded. He was right. She had to relax. She couldn’t keep going with so much tension. “Fine.”
“Good.” He smiled down on her as he put an arm over her shoulder and took her back down the hall toward the kitchen. Such a familiar touch made hope spring eternal—darn it, again. “Feel better?”
“Yes, actually.” And she let go of the te
nsion and relaxed against him. Just like old times.
So badly, she’d wanted to find an alternative to the loving—overbearing and overprotective—family. She’d found it in him, and look where it had gotten her. She’d even dreamt of marriage and settling down. Well, she might get that…
But there would be a price.
Part of her could live with that expense because she’d have the new life she wanted. And maybe at some point, she’d have the ease she’d known when he’d come to California and they’d been friends first.
Friends and then lovers.
She couldn’t deny the physical attraction, the chemistry whenever he walked into the room. He made her want to keep doing crazy things…like marry him.
Holy Mother, the man had some physical pull on her senses, and her arm at his waist brought the memory of his skin, taut and supple. Before they stepped through the doorway to the kitchen, he stopped and pulled her close. His fingers threaded through her loose hair.
Aye. The kiss, the touch, the feel.
Then he breathed against her temple and spoke. “We can be good together, don’t you think?”
“Mmm,” she hummed in response, wanting him again, knowing she should fight her basic instinct to be with this man.
Shouldn’t she?
His lips moved against her skin, sparking the same fire in her that had driven her to him in the first place. She lengthened her spine, flattening herself against him as she turned her head for a taste. She wanted a taste of him. Her body betrayed her and her hands went to his sides, pulling at the soft flannel tucked into his jeans.
He captured her mouth, and it was oh-so-good when she opened to him and tentatively brushed his tongue with her own. Right back where they started. The chemistry too hot to subdue.
Maria strained against him, the small mound at her waist pressing against his—oh, hell—his erection, and her arms circled his neck. She couldn’t get enough—again. She didn’t want to let go!
“Fuck.” He broke off suddenly, leaving her breathless. Unsteady on her feet, she leaned back against her side of the door jamb. And stared.
He was looking at her stomach.
Her heart was in her throat as his hand came out and touched her.
“I’m still small.”
He reached for her and lifted the tee, his bare hand covered the bump she still had no trouble hiding.
“I can feel it. My clothes still fit—for the most part. But probably not for long.” She rested her own hands on top of his. And, shame on her, desire pooled low in her womb. His hands were warm against her skin, like fire on ice. She cleared her throat.
“It’s so firm,” he whispered. “Is that normal?”
“I hope so,” she answered with a laugh that made him look up at her.
“Are you scared?”
Maria shook her head. “Not really. Not of being pregnant.”
He seemed so fascinated, she wondered if they’d stand there all afternoon. She guessed the baby bump was a good reason as any to stop the direction of their touches, their—obviously—unrequited desire.
She took his hand and lowered her shirt. “Cards, right?”
“Sure.” He moved away from her but then turned back with a look of fierce possession on his face. “No. No, damn it, Maria.” He tossed the deck to the nearest counter and dragged her back into his arms for a fast, hard kiss, and then he planted her away from him and got on his knees.
“What are—?”
He lifted her shirt again and measured her with shaking hands. “It’s real.”
Maria dug her fingers into his thick, dark hair and tugged—just enough to get his attention.
“Hey!”
“Of course it’s real.”
She wasn’t used to having a man on his knees in front of her. It was humbling and sexy to see him there.
“Oh, my God, Maria.” His voice shook this time.
“Spooked? Babies are a big deal. Marriage…is bigger. Ready to change your mind?”
“Jesus. I can’t believe I did that.”
She did step back then and sent him a look of amusement. But it was his answering laugh that captured her heart.
“I’m sorry. That sounded—” He cleared his throat.
“Proud?” She filled in for him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be. I didn’t realize how—”
She waited a moment as he collected his thoughts, and when he didn’t, she spoke again. “How powerful creating life could feel?”
“Jesus.”
“You keep saying that. We’re not naming this child Jesus,” she answered in her own accent with the soft J of her parents’ language.
He laughed, like she knew he would. In the quiet of this warm kitchen of this gorgeous home, her heart settled like it hadn’t since he’d left at the beginning of November.
He pulled her back close again and pressed a kiss to her belly. And she ran fingers through his hair, gently this time, unable to stop the flood of desire, the need to be with him and to incite him like he incited her.
She was going to marry him.
Oh… Her stomach dropped in the same instant her head went light. She was going to marry him. Right, wrong, good, bad. It didn’t matter. She wanted to be with David March, with the man who could say things that made her both furious and overwhelmingly happy all in the same conversation. Because without thinking, he said things like, the baby didn’t have a choice, and made her see a man she could love for a long time.
He could be cold, and marrying him might be a risk, but it would be worth it.
He rose and cupped the fullness of her breasts through her shirt. “I want to see everything,” he said. And the brush of his fingertips across the top of her chest sent desire strumming through her.
“Should we wait?” Uncertainty rang in his words, making her swallow hard. Her conscience warred with the desire, and she shoved it aside.
“It’s a little late for that,” she breathed.
“I don’t care.”
“Ha!” She wanted him. And he was going to refuse her? What could possibly happen? She’d get pregnant?
She shoved him back and his mouth fell open. Then she advanced as the rawest emotion she’d ever experienced flooded her veins—anger, fear, love. It was all mixed up inside her. Her hands gripped his shirt, and she pulled at it, breaking the seal of shiny pearl snaps that ended just below his waist. She lifted his undershirt and yanked it up, hard. His shoulders easily maneuvered out of the restraint, but he still had that unsure look on his face. Worry.
Well worry this. She flicked his pant snap open so her hand could fit in.
“Shit.” He grabbed her wrist. “Maria.” His shockingly green eyes widened, and he sucked in his abdomen—surprised, but she was done being complacent, being willing to move on as if her life was fine. He wrenched her hand above her head, and she met the wall at her back.
He was hard. Full with desire for her. He’d wanted her then. He wanted her now, even if he denied the emotional attachment.
Then his lips were on her. His fingers were splayed on her arm above her head, and they trailed down as his grip was forgotten in their wet embrace. He sucked at her, laved her, took her mouth with no reserve, and he was breathless when he broke from her and trailed kisses down her neck.
The tug of his caress started at her pulse, and her head fell back. Her leg came up, wrapped around his waist. They’d always been good together, even that first time.
His hand fell away from her arm, and she rested her arms on his shoulders, circling his head. He found the bare skin at the edge of her sleeve with his mouth. He carefully lifted the hem of her shirt where it rode her waist and drew it over her head. Then he tugged the strap of her bra down her shoulder. The soft caress of his lips transformed to a desperate stroke on her nipple.
The need tightened within her. “David,” she pleaded breathlessly, her hips grinding against him as her heart pounded, harder and faster. He gripped her hips and moved
against her, the thrill of his clothed thrust sent her flying.
Lights flashed behind her eyes. Muscles clenched around nothing, pulsed to the rhythm of his touch. And a single bead of sweat dripped down her cheek as an orgasm ripped through her.
No. Not sweat. A tear. David brushed it from her cheek then lifted her.
“Marry me, Ree. Plea—” he cut off the plea and lowered his head, touching her forehead with his own. He took a deep breath. “Please. For the baby.”
“Yes.” She kissed him on the cheek. And before she could say anything else, he had grabbed her in a bear hug. His arms tightened around her and lifted her feet from the ground. She soothed him with a touch, a light brush of her hand over his head and down his neck. “It’s going to be okay, David.”
“I should be the one saying that.”
She shrugged. He wasn’t Catholic. She was about to bind herself to a man she had almost nothing in common with. They’d made love—and she’d loved him. He’d loved her. Or, she’d thought he had. She shoved aside the doubt—for their baby. “We need each other. Somehow…” She drifted off, not sure how to put to words what she was feeling. “We can make this work, right? Everybody needs someone. The baby needs us.”
With the ache of her passion worn down and her orgasm turned into that wonderful mellow glow, Maria relaxed and took his hand. Being with him was the easiest thing in the world. That had to mean something.
~*~
They closed Quinn’s, playing pool, knocking balls into corner and side pockets. They talked, like they’d known each other their whole lives. When he was near enough to her, her breath shortened and her heart pounded.
The small cove at the back of the bar seemed to have been made for couples, tucked in the corner, no view of the seating area. David’s grin held charm—she’d forgotten—and he turned to sink the eight ball.
Her eyes drank in the sight of his butt. Clearing her throat, she quickly looked away as he turned back to her. “Game.”
