But every single night, she did the same thing. She sat in her car, looked at the house, and wondered if he would be in there or if he would be gone. Or if today was the day he finally said goodbye. Tessa knew she only asked him for one thing, but like everyone else in her life, she didn’t expect him to keep up his end of their deal. She expected him to leave without saying a word, just like her brothers.
She tried hard not to let him know how she was feeling, but every day she was getting closer to him. Giving a little bit more of herself to him, and it scared her. Because even after three months, she still didn’t know who Creed Clearwater was. It had taken her a month just to get his last name out of him, and that was a fluke. He had gotten his wallet out for a condom, throwing it down in front of her, and she read it. Creedence F. Clearwater. She had joked with him saying she hoped his middle name wasn’t Fogerty and laughed when he just groaned and snatched his wallet away. Fucking her until she was mindless. But he never talked about his name again and Tessa hadn’t brought it up either.
Turning off her car, Tessa sighed putting her elbow up on the door and resting her head against her hand. There were things about Creed she didn’t understand and other things she completely got. He was secretive, only giving her small bits of information about his life. He had money but from what? She could tell he didn’t have a job. Tessa figured he’d been in the military and was living off of some type of retirement. She came to that conclusion on her own because every time she tried to ask, he changed the subject or said he didn’t want to talk about it. But there were other reasons too; Creed was so regimented.
He got up at the same time every day, worked out, then made breakfast. He was also a neat freak. All the stacks and piles Tessa had around the house were all put away, and everything was cleaned up. She liked it, but sometimes, she wanted to and had messed things up, just to see what he would do. Creed would just give her a disgruntled look and clean it up. Whatever it was. It didn’t bother her, but it did puzzle her. He was adamant he wasn’t the sticking-around type of guy, but he was doing all the things a real boyfriend would do as long as they were in the house and no one saw them.
Granted, Tess didn’t have much time for anything—working, clinicals at a hospital over an hour away, going to school, studying for boards and finals—she was pretty much wiped out most of the time. But one night, she wanted pizza and living out in the middle of nowhere didn’t give her the luxury of delivery service. Plus, she kind of wanted to go out. When she asked him, he made all kinds of excuses, and they had even ended up fighting about it with Creed leaving.
The other weird thing was he never once asked her for her phone number, but he would text her several times a day. Tess had a password on her phone, so she knew he couldn’t have just gotten it from there. She had asked him about it, but he said she gave it to him. Tess knew she hadn’t but let it go because she liked him texting her. The phone calls he got constantly well into the night bothered her, too. Every single time, no matter what they were doing, Creed would get up and go outside before he answered it
One good thing though, she hadn’t had any more problems with Grinder. There were a couple of times she noticed motorcycles following her, but they always turned off before she had any reason to panic. She also hadn’t mentioned any of this to Creed. Not sure how he would react. Tessa hadn’t been back to the Shack or contacted Junie or Rena. Both of them had called, but she ignored them, wanting to live in her little bubble for as long as she could. Tessa justified it in her own mind by thinking it would be easier when she left. Cutting ties now would be better for all of them. But the truth was she was still mad at them both.
Damn, she needed to get out of this mood. Getting her stuff together, Tessa got out of her car and went up to the house, holding her breath until she opened the door and listened. The house was quiet and dark. Damn, she didn’t want to deal with this right now; Creed was gone. Dropping her stuff where she stood, Tessa kicked off her shoes a little harder than needed. Then she stomped down the hall to her room.
Tess opened the door and was shocked by what she saw. There were candles on every single surface. Roses in a vase on her nightstand and the bed had been turned down with new silky looking sheets on it. On the other side of the bed a bottle of wine and two glasses but no Creed. She was about to turn around and go look for him when she saw him coming out of the bathroom. He saw her and stopped in his tracks, looking guilty.
“Damn, babe, you're early.”
He looked so cute, running his hand through his hair, looking like he had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to, but from what she could see, he had done all the right things. Tessa ran to him jumping up into his arms and kissed him. After several long minutes, she pulled back, half afraid to hope and half afraid it meant goodbye
‘What’s all this?” Tessa asked with a hoarseness to her voice that even sounded strange to her own ears.
“Today was your last final, I thought we should celebrate. You’ve been working so hard, I wanted to give you something special to come home to. But you kind of barged in and ruined the surprise. I have dinner in the oven too,” Creed laughed.
Tessa could feel the burn of tears in her eyes, and she tried to look away. No one had ever done anything like this for her.
“Hey, none of that, babe. This is a good thing even if you ruined it,” Creed said, pinching her ass, then trying to tickle her, but she wasn’t in the mood to laugh right then.
Nope, Tessa was in the mood for something much more. Holding his face in her hands, Tessa whispered, “Thank you” and kissed him. Giving this man, this wild and free man everything she’d been holding back. It would hurt when he was gone, but she was tired of only giving him part of herself.
Creed moved his head away from her and smiled, “Enough of that, babe. Food, bath, then the good stuff.” Tessa tried to move in again, but Creed just shook his head. “Babe, I’m sorry, but you smell like the hospital and all the stuff you got into at the hospital,” Creed said scrunching up his nose. This time Tessa pulled back, mortified, remembering her last patient. She had become nose blind to the hospital smells but Creed, damn, the poor man.
“Okay, shower first,” Tessa said, removing her arms from around Creed’s neck, letting her legs fall to the ground. Once steady enough to walk she went to the bathroom door. But Creed stopped her getting in the way blocking her from entering.
“Not so fast, babe, no shower, I’ve got another surprise for you.” Creed opened the door and grabbed her hand and pulling her just inside the bathroom. As soon as the door opened, steam started billowing out of the room. Tessa was shocked and pushed forward a little. The bathroom had the same candles flickering away on all available surfaces, but something that had never once happened before; the old clawfoot tub was filled with steaming water. Creed had even sprinkled rose petals on top of it. This time Tessa let the tears fall. What Creed had done for her was so special, it touched her heart. The topper was him standing back by the door with his hands in his pockets, looking kind of shy. The same door where a huge, five-gallon bucket sat.
Tessa wiped her tears away and went to him, hugging him tightly. Saying thank you didn’t seem like enough, and she knew neither of them was ready to hear what she really wanted to say. She loved him. So, she just held on to him and breathed in the moment. Creed hugged her back, rubbing her back every few seconds.
When seconds turned into minutes, Creed said, “Babe, I wanted to do something special for you, but if you tell anyone about this I will deny it.”
Tessa laughed and nodded her head. She knew he was teasing her, trying to get the light loving moment back because everything Tessa was feeling right now was heavy, but she could give him this one little thing.
“Don’t worry, babe, your man card will stay intact. I won’t tell anyone as long as I can come home every day to a nice hot bath and your badass self, standing in my bedroom.” Tessa felt Creed stiffen. She had tried to be so good, but it was just a remin
der this thing between them wasn’t permanent. It was just a temporary stop along the way for him. Damn.
Tessa tilted her head up and looked at him he was smiling, but it was small, and a little forced and his eyes looked sad. Tessa didn’t want the previous moment to end, so she smiled up at him. She could see the words on his lips, but she didn’t want to hear them. Placing her finger on his lips, Tessa shook her head, stopping him.
“Not tonight, Creed. I know, we both do, but for tonight, I want to pretend. I want to believe what we’ve been building is something more, that there’s a possibility of me coming home to this type of special more than once. Please,” she begged, “just for tonight.”
But her man wasn’t the type not to lay things out. He always gave her choices and let her know exactly what was happening between them. That there was an expiration date to their relationship.
“Tess?”
“Please,” Tessa said again, “not tonight. Tonight, is special, give me this, Creed, tomorrow is soon enough for reality.” Turning around Tess started to undress. She didn’t want to look at Creed’s face right now and see the indecision and guilt she knew would be there. When she was completely naked, she turned her head and looked at his chest, not willing to meet his eyes.
“Join me?”
Creed’s voice cracked twice before he got the words out of his mouth.
“Not tonight, babe. I’m going to go check on your dinner. Soak and relax, I’ll be back soon.”
Tessa watched him leave, and the minute the door closed, the tears started to fall. Sitting on the side of the tub, she gave into the moment. She’d done it again; she loved a man who would never stay. But unlike her brothers, this one hurt worse because siblings were supposed to grow up and move on. The person you loved more than yourself was supposed to stay, to want to stay, and Creed didn’t.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Creed sat on the bed and listened to Tess cry. Putting his elbows on his knees, he placed his head in his hands. This sucked, he’d wanted to do something nice for her. She had been working so hard with her last classes, clinicals, and working. He wanted to give her something special for completing it. Celebrate with her, but he’d managed to make a great moment into a sad one, and it tore him apart. He didn’t know if he had days left in Hazard or another month. What he did know was his time to leave would come sooner rather than later.
Tessa wasn’t the type of woman who would do good in his lifestyle. She was too sweet. There wasn’t a hard bone in her. The Club life would eat her alive. Him leaving for missions without being able to tell her what was going on would push her away. She didn’t trust or give of herself easily, and he had made a fatal mistake. Tonight, he had sensed when she had finally taken down the shields guarding her heart and really let him in. Let him see all of her, what she was feeling, and he’d liked it. Wanted more of it. What did that make him but a selfish bastard?
Creed didn’t know how long it had taken, but Tessa’s sobs finally stopped. It had been torture for him to sit there and listen to her cry, every hitch in her breathing had been like a knife to his heart. He’d gotten up to go in there a few times, but he stopped himself. It would only make things worse, and he wanted tonight to be special. Now that was idea was blown to hell. When he heard the water sloshing in the tub, he decided to leave the room and give her some space.
Tonight, he would let her have what she wanted, the illusion. Tomorrow they would talk, and he would leave. It was better for both of them that way. She had one more clinical, then boards. He would make sure she had enough food in the house to cover her and put some money in her account. He’d seen the bills piling up and had already paid all of them, so she wouldn’t have to worry about it. That had been an easy decision for him; Creed believed in paying his own way.
Tessa had told him about her brother buying this house, moving her in, and promising to take care of her, then leaving her to deal with everything. Creed didn’t want Tessa to have the same memory of him once he left. He knew damn well the hurt and pain would come at first, Tessa was just that kind of girl, but he hoped in the end, she would think of the time they were together in a good way. He knew Tess would never be far from his mind but leaving was for the best.
Creed decided, sitting on the bed they had shared for three months, he would do what he had planned in the beginning, camp out and watch. Only this time, he would watch over her too. If he could leave Hazard right now, he would at least for a little while. During the last three months, he’d gotten enough dirt on Sherry and Shake to take them both down. Once they were in jail, he would offer them an out as long as they answered all his questions. He was also close to figuring out what was up with Ben Williams and his aunt. Creed hadn’t completely ignored his orders, he had stayed in the shadows and not let anyone know what he was doing. His aunt had called a couple of times, but she didn’t want to meet him or talk about anything important. Then again, she didn’t even know he was still in town.
Damn it, when had his life became so complicated? He cared for Tessa, a lot. Wanted to be with her, but damn, how was that supposed to work? He didn’t even have a house or an apartment, he lived at the damn Clubhouse. Plus, she wouldn’t understand the life of being a member of a motorcycle club, especially the RBMC. It was pretty much the same as being in the military. When you were called up for a mission, you left. Sometimes, they lasted for a week, some of the guys had been gone for years. Only most people considered being in the military noble and being in an MC, not so much. He knew she was planning on moving or joining a traveling nurse program once she passed her boards. But she was talking going north or east, not south.
Creed wouldn’t change the last few months he’d spent with Tess. If he was capable of loving a woman, she would be it for him. But he couldn’t ignore the fact she didn’t really know him because he had never let her in. She had no idea who the real Creedence Clearwater was because he was a coward. He didn’t want her to know and walk away. He wanted her to be proud of him. To love him unconditionally but that wasn’t fair because he never gave he the chance to know him. At least the real him. Shit.
Getting up, he walked down the hall towards the kitchen. He wanted to make a call before Tessa got done with her bath, and he had to play pretend for the night. But as soon as he turned the corner, Creed stopped dead in his tracks. His Aunt Kim was tied and gagged in one of the of the kitchen chairs he and Tess used every single day. Her left eye was black and blue, and he could see a little blood on her shirt. There was a big assed dude, wearing a leather cut, standing behind her the first thing Creed noticed was the one percent symbol on his cut. Above that his name Caine with the word President right underneath. Fucking hell. Creed only knew of one man who was President of an MC with the name of Caine. What had his Aunt gotten herself into to piss off the Blacktop Renegade’s?
“Let my aunt go and get the fuck out of my house.” Caine was about just as tall as Creed maybe a little bigger, but where Creed had the body of a quarterback, Caine would be a lineman. He had to weigh about three hundred to three hundred and fifty pounds. Creed had never met the man before. The RBMC had an alliance with the Blacktop Renegade, and that meant family and friends were off limits unless Tuck and Caine came to an agreement.
Caine even resembled Tuck in some ways. Same hair color, eyes, and skin tone, but his facial features were more pronounced. He also had a mean vibe, whereas Tuck was a badass but fair most of the time. He and would listen to all sides before making any type of decision. This man didn’t look like he would listen to anyone. The fact that he was laughing at Creed and hadn’t moved away from his aunt was even further proof of that. The RBMC didn’t hurt women or children, period.
Creed took a step forward and said, “I said get away from my aunt and get the fuck out of my house.” Creed was keeping his voice purposely low, he didn’t want Tess to come out from the bathroom and find this man here. He also wasn’t opposed to taking this man out for threatening his family. The fucker was still s
miling at him like he had all the answers, and what he was doing was no big deal. Creed fisted his hands, getting more pissed off.
“I don’t think so, Creed.” the way Caine said his name was like it tasted bad in his mouth. Something else Creed couldn’t figure out. He didn’t have a beef with this man or his club, now or before coming to Hazard. Hell, in the entire time he had been in Hazard, he hadn’t seen a single Blacktop Renegade cut, this was Vulture territory. If the Renegades were aligning themselves with the Vultures, this war just got even worse.
“I think what you’re going to do is sit your ass down on that couch, so we can have a little talk about what you and your aunt have been up to.” Creed had never been one to follow orders from people he didn’t know or respect. Just knowing this man's club and his name wasn’t enough for him. Taking another step forward, Creed prepared himself to attack. He knew the back-left leg on that chair was wobbly, and if he hit it just right, the chair and his aunt would fall to the side, out of the way. Then he would get Caine. The man might be bigger, but Creed was a good fighter and figured they would be well-matched.
Creed took another step, he knew he only had about four more to go before he could go through with his plan, but Caine had another idea. The asshole put his hand on his aunt’s shoulder. That wouldn’t have stopped him, but the bowie knife in his hand did.
“Now, Creed,” Caine said, “I’m not a man who likes to repeat myself, but because you seem kind of slow, I’ll start over, just this once.” When he tightened his grip on his Aunt, and she winced, moving her body with the pain, Creed knew he was going to have to play nice, for the time being. Taking two steps back, so he was in front of the couch, he sat down and waited for whatever it was Caine had to say.
Creed: Ruthless Bastards (RBMC Book 5) Page 9
