I sighed. “I know, and yet I feel them all as if I carry them with me, and they weigh down upon my heart.” I placed a flat palm against my chest.
The priest rested his hand over mine, and I looked up into his dark eyes. His olive skin was wrinkled and weathered from exposure to the sun. “Never forget them, but do not be afraid to share the burden.”
“And what about the burdens that I cannot share?”
He smiled. “You will learn to bear them, somehow. We all do.”
I stayed a while longer, waiting for the dawn to rise before I left. The execution would be soon, and as I had once attended the execution of Count Braun, I would witness what I had wrought in Queen Celeste’s execution.
Beau and I made our way to the prison tower where they kept those condemned to die. We arrived to a jumble of people and angry voices. The spectators seemed unreasonably bloodthirsty. The executioner stood with his back to the crowd, and he and a few other men were speaking. It seemed strange. One man wearing a crimson cape, marking him as a captain of the guard, was shaking his head as he spoke to the executioner.
We were pushing through the crowd to the front when we saw Damara, Elenna and Hilliard. Hilliard waved us over. I saw Damara’s frown from a distance. I felt a prickle of premonition at the back of my mind.
“Maea, something terrible has happened.”
My heart clenched, and I feared the worst.
Damara rested a hand on my shoulder. “Celeste has escaped. It appears not all of her allies were routed out. The guards at the tower were found slain this morning, and her cell was empty.”
“No, this cannot be true. Are you certain?” I asked.
Damara nodded. “Queen Arlene is calling an emergency meeting of the council.”
I did not wait. I turned and headed towards the palace. Even if Celeste had allies, how much damage could she do? What kind of danger were we in with her free? By herself, she was not dangerous. Her allies, on the other hand, could be potentially deadly. If there were those loyal to Celeste left, that meant that Arlene’s life was in danger. I paused mid-stride. Arlene has done nothing but put the throne in danger. The people fear her; would she be any better than Celeste? I thought of Adair and his triumphant smirk before he slammed the door on me in the tower back in Keisan. I cannot let him win. I continued my march back to the palace.
The meeting was to be held in the Hall of Mirrors. It was the palace’s namesake. Mirrors lined all the walls and reflected back at one another, creating a hallway effect. It was said to reflect the inner heart of those who were within the chamber. Kings of the past used it and believed they would know if their advisors were true based on what was reflected in the endless reflections.
The council was waiting for me when I arrived. Arlene sat at the head of the table. She wore the black of mourning, and I realized she must have been on her way to her mother’s execution when she received the news. Arrayed around her were her advisors, those lords that had supported her claim for the throne, and chief among them, Lord Eeland Yette. They all regarded me with hard expressions as I entered and took a seat at the far end of the table.
Beau followed me in, closely tailed by Damara, Elenna and Hilliard. Damara and Elenna sat on either side of me while Beau and Hilliard took their place against the wall just over our shoulders. Lord Yette’s glance skimmed over our guards, and his mouth turned up at the corners. What was he thinking? He was certainly on my list of suspects in Celeste’s disappearance. He had betrayed one queen, why not another?
Once we were seated, Arlene addressed the council. “My lords and ladies, we live in dangerous times. As many of you may now realize, my mother, traitor to the throne of Neaux, escaped late last night. She was aided by unknown accomplices and, it seems, has fled the city. I do not need to remind any of you the grave importance of this. My mother must be found and brought to justice. I propose a company of one hundred men to be sent out and search her out.”
“If she escaped late at night, she may already be too far from our reach. Perhaps we should prepare ourselves for attack; she must have allies. We need to focus inward and discover the traitors who freed her,” one of her lords interjected, and he gave me a sidelong look.
A few men muttered their agreement.
Arlene held up her hand to silence them. “I agree. We are not safe until all the traitors are found, but we cannot execute everyone. My mother’s death is paramount. She is a figurehead, and while she lives, the people will continue to rally around her and call me a usurper.”
There was more muttered agreement. “She is one woman with perhaps one or two swords around her. How do you plan to find her? She could have gone anywhere,” another man asked.
“I know my mother; she went to her ally. She has gone to Danhad and to King Adair.”
One of Arlene’s advisors tugged at his thick black beard and considered this news. Others looked to one another for solutions. Lord Yette stared at me with shrewd black eyes that made me uneasy. Do not look to me. I have nothing to do with this.
“If she plans to betray us, then we should march against Danhad before they march against us,” the man with the beard suggested. Lord Martinell was his name.
“With what army?” Lord Jouxet asked. He was a squashed-faced man with a bulbous red nose and near bald but for the thin black hairs clinging to his scalp. “The bulk of our force is south along the border still. We have pushed back the Biski, but the threat remains. Every day that upstart builds a better army. We will draw ourselves thin fighting on two fronts. How can we hope to defend ourselves?”
“We should send our ambassadors to continue with the peace treaty between Danhad and Neaux. The king’s wife is her majesty’s youngest sister, and they say it will be a boy that she carries. We can buy the king, perhaps with land or even make his son the heir to the Neaux throne,” Lord Gorlent, a keg-bellied lord, suggested.
I regarded the man. He seemed inconsequential enough. I had met him at a few council meetings and seen him at the trials; he had always seemed harmless. Perhaps he did not really know what he was saying, what the implications of his suggestion meant. Arlene glared at him, and I, too, found myself suspicious of him. Is this Celeste’s ally?
Lord Gorlent rubbed his thick hands together and sweated under Arlene’s gaze. “It is just a thought, Your Majesty,” he mumbled and looked down at the table.
“Queen Sabine is as much one of them as the king. She has spent too long among their people, and she cannot be trusted. I will not give up the Neaux throne to a Danhadine, no matter what his birth lines are,” Arlene said, ending the conversation.
“Then do we withdraw our force from the south and attack in the east? What if the Biski regroup and attack? We would leave Sanore defenseless,” Lord Jouxet countered.
The men continued to argue, and Arlene listened to the banter and studied the men over her hands. The opposing sides fought for either peace or for war—no one brought up the succession again. Few points agreed, and the debate was dissolving into chaos.
“Which is a greater threat?” Hlliard spoke up.
The lords turned and looked at him. They were aghast that a mere guard would think to insinuate himself into their discussion. Despite his audacity, there was logic to his question.
“What do the Biski want?” Lord Yette spoke at last. He had remained silent for most of the proceedings, watching the arguments with his small dark eyes.
“That I can answer, perhaps,” Elenna announced.
The men’s eyes swiveled towards her. She had remained aloof during the conversation, and at times I was not certain she was listening. She stood up with her easy fluid grace and smiled at all the men. “I was once a wise woman among my people. There is tell of a legend that one day, the Biski people will go north and rebuild the kingdom of old and repopulate the land. If I were to guess, I would say they want a kingdom.”
“Well, they cannot have ours,” Lord Martinell shouted as he slammed his fist down on the table. “They
have no right to this land.”
Elenna ignored them and looked to Arlene. She had yet to speak on the matter.
Arlene lowered her hands. “The Biski, do you think they would entreat with us?”
Elenna bowed her head. “I believe they would, Your Majesty.”
“Your Majesty, you cannot be considering entreating with these savages!” Lord Martinell seethed. His face was red, and he perspired profusely.
“We have three choices,” Arlene snapped. Then she ticked the choices off on her fingers. “We can do nothing and let Danhad destroy all we have fought for. We can wage war alone and be overrun from behind by the Biski. Or we can ally ourselves with the Biski and create an even stronger force, one that can defeat Danhad.”
This was Adair’s plan the entire time. He knew that making his son the heir to the throne would be the only way to prevent a war. I cannot let more innocents die in this struggle. There has to be a way to even the balance. If it comes to war, hundreds will die. If Adair’s son inherits the throne, then he wins control of Neaux as he wanted from the beginning. When I had dreamed of Sabine and Adair’s son, he had been a monster with a cruel smile. If Adair’s influence was removed, could the future be changed? Arlene needed an heir, but I dared not suggest a marital alliance for her. I suspected that would be met with even more resistance than Sabine’s son inheriting the throne.
I had to say my piece, regardless. My pulse raced as I stood up. My chair scraped across the floor and toppled over. The heads all swiveled in my direction. I swallowed past a lump in my throat. “This war could mean the destruction of not only Neaux, but Danhad and the Biski lands as well. Danhad is allied with Jerauch, they will call them in to aid them, and you will see the land run red with blood before any of this is resolved. Surely, this can be talked about the peace table.”
Arlene glanced at me for a long moment. “I do not like the idea of war, but I cannot wait here for an attack from the east. We must go out and meet the Danhadines on the battlefield. I will not have Danhad think me weak and easily defeated.”
I wanted to shake her for being so stubborn. How could she not see there was a diplomatic path, not war? I knew Adair; he thought war messy and unnecessary. There may yet be a way to prevent bloodshed.
“There has to be another way,” I said. “I do not think it would be a sign of weakness if you petitioned for peace. I think it would show you to be a balanced ruler; the people would love you more for it.”
A man nearby scoffed. I looked over at him; it was Yette. “You overestimate the people. Most assuredly any peace treaty between our countries would result in the commingling of the two kingdoms, just as King Adair planned. We will not stand for that.”
The others nodded in agreement.
“War is inevitable. Adair declared it so when he sent his soldiers here to try to overrun our kingdom. I cannot sit easy on my throne until my mother is brought to justice and Danhad knows that they cannot attack without retribution,” Arlene said.
I felt sick to my stomach. They would go to war. Then I had a mad thought. “What if Adair was not king?”
I received many strange looks for this. And Yette, who held my gaze, smiled in a way that made my skin crawl.
I elaborated. “Adair was the one who plotted to bring the kingdoms together. His son is to be of both Neaux and Danhad blood. What if he was deposed from his throne and a new king, one more favorable to Neaux, was put on the throne instead. One who would petition for peace?”
They did not balk at the idea, which was a triumph in itself.
“It is true; Adair is the real threat. But who is to say a new king would not share the same sympathies?” Yette asked.
I glanced at Damara. By Danhad law, anyone born to a woman of the Raleban line could rule in Danhad. Damara was one of these women, and she had a son, one who I knew was honest and a fair judge of character.
Damara met my eye, and she caught my meaning. “My son would be eligible for the throne if Adair were to die.”
“How can we trust you? How do we know you will not betray us?” Lord Yette pressed.
Damara looked at Hilliard and then took my hand and squeezed it. “Because, if we choose my son to become the next king, I will remain here in Sanore, and should he prove false, you will hold my life forfeit.”
The men muttered to one another, and I stared wide-eyed at Damara. I wanted to shake her as well. Did she know what she was doing? She was permanently exiling herself to Neaux, for what? On the off chance that Layton could be elected king? I didn’t even know if he would agree.
Damara reached up and grabbed my hand. I looked down at her, and she tilted her head up to regard me. “I’ve already made my decision, Maea. I cannot change it now.”
“Though I appreciate your sacrifice,” Arlene said, “what I think you are insinuating is subterfuge and assassination. I will not stoop down to the level of dogs to protect my kingdom. I would keep my integrity. If I were to meet King Adair on the battlefield and kill him in honest battle, that would be one thing, but otherwise I will not see it done. We shall make peace with the Biski, as was suggested, and campaign to begin war in Danhad. That is my final decision.”
The room was silent as Arlene made her final decree, and I felt as if I were going to be ill. Everything was happening too fast, and despite everything I had done, we would soon be at war once more.
Chapter Three
PREPARATIONS WERE MADE, and a week after the trial and escape of Celeste, we were prepared to head south for the lands of the Biski. Arlene insisted that our party travel with her ambassador and his entourage. A paranoid part of my mind suspected Arlene thought me involved in her mother’s escape because I had begged for leniency for the former queen. Because of this fact, I did not argue her decree even if we would have travelled faster without them. The soldiers and the diplomat also helped to disguise our journey from Johai, who I was certain was awaiting me. I had not dreamed of him since he made contact with the Biski, and the silence was frightening. What had he been doing in that time?
The day arrived for us to depart, and I had dressed in a riding gown with boots and a heavy cape to keep out the chill. Summer was in decline, and fall was not far off. I left my chamber for the final time, and I was glad to see the last of it. My time, though brief, in the Palace of Mirrors had not been happy. I feared the road ahead, but I wanted to be optimistic for the future. When I entered the receiving room, I was shocked to see Damara in her court attire and not prepared to ride.
She stood up and took my hands in hers. She did not smile, and I felt a knot in my stomach tighten.
“You’re not coming, are you?” I asked. She had been quiet the past week, and I had attributed it to her worries over the war, but I should have known better.
She smiled, but it did not light up her eyes as it once had.
“I’ve made my decision, Maea. I am doing this for the good of our kingdoms, just as you are. Arlene needs an experienced voice of reason by her side, and I can give that to her. I have served a queen in the past, this is what I have done my entire life, and if staying here means we can somehow mend these wounds between our countries, then so be it.”
Tears pricked the back of my eyes, but I dared not let them fall. Now was not the time for emotion. Besides, it did not have to be good-bye forever, just for now. “I understand,” I said, and my voice wobbled, giving away my emotion.
She touched my cheek, and I looked up into her handsome face. There was the hint of dark shadows behind her eyes, and the worry lines around her mouth appeared deeper. I had so many conflicting feelings and none of the words to express them to her. Once upon a time, I had hated Damara, thinking she was using me for her own political purposes, but she had been more like a mother to me than I had ever known. If anyone could dissuade Arlene from this war, it was Damara, and I had to trust in her just as she trusted in me to put a stop to the specter.
A single tear rolled down my cheek. Damara leaned her forehead against mine
. “Don’t cry for me, dear heart. I won’t be far away, and it will not be forever.”
I wanted to protest and say I still needed her. Who was going to give me comfort now that Johai was gone? Who could I lean on now that I had a seeming impossible task before me? I did not want to burden her, so instead I replied, “I know.”
She pulled back and looked me up and down. “I am so proud of you.” She pulled me to her and hugged me tight. I indulged in her embrace for a moment before pulling away; now was my time to be strong.
When we pulled apart, I had wiped away all traces of my tears. I would not cry again until this was over, however long that might be. The road before me was long and uncertain. We were not even sure where to find the leader of the Biski. Whatever happened, I knew my destiny awaited me in the south. Damara brushed my cheek with the palm of her hand and brushed away the last traces of my tears from my face. No more was said, and the time had come to depart.
We went down to the palace gates to prepare to leave. Arlene was there to bless our journey on behalf of the crown, along with her favored lords. She stood in the center wearing the crimson and gold. A long crimson cape draped over her shoulders and pooled on the ground behind her. Upon her short curly hair rested a gold crown inset with rubies. The lords were flanking her on each side, bedecked in their finest. A crowd had gathered, and they cheered and stomped their feet. The noise scared the horses, which were being held by their grooms.
Lord Eeland Yette stood to Arlene’s right and held in his hand a scroll with a dangling seal. I was shown to my mount and helped astride beside Elenna, Beau and the chosen diplomat Lord Gerard Buree. He had fought with Arlene during the rebellion and had been chosen for the honor of negotiating with the Biski on the queen’s behalf. He was a stocky middle-aged man with a barrel chest and black hair peppered with gray.
I met Eeland’s gaze as I sat astride, and his mouth turned up at the corner as if he were enjoying some secret joke. I returned his expression without flinching.
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