Elenna’s laughter rang like the tinkling of bells across the room of the inn. I scowled at her.
“It may not be any of my concern, but it was me who woke the true Johai from his slumber and altered the spell so he could see you, if only for an evening.” She gave me a secretive smile. It was true that Elenna had locked Johai deep within the specter, but did she truly have the power to bring him forth at will? Why did she not help him instead of playing games?
I was so angry all I could manage to say was, “Why?”
“Because the prophecy demands it. You are bound to him, and in order to destroy the specter, I had to strengthen that bond between you.”
I unclenched my fists and took a deep breath. “Do you realize what you have done? In order to free Johai from the specter, I have to die! My life will pay for his, only then can I bring the specter beyond the veil.” Tears pricked my lashes, but I held them back. “If you could control the specter, then why did you not do so from the start?”
Elenna did not flinch beneath my tirade. She regarded me serenely, her hands folded in her lap. “The specter wants you to believe he is beyond human needs, but even he must sleep. He does so rarely and only when he thinks none can harm him. He is suspicious of everyone, even you, who he believes is under his spell. I put him under a sleeping spell and woke Johai. It was difficult to do and something that could only be done once, for one purpose. The specter remembers nothing of that night or what you and the real Johai have made together.”
I touched my stomach. No, it cannot be. “You cannot know I am with child. It is very likely that I am not! This may be some passing illness...”
Elenna stood up and came to kneel beside me on the floor. “You are, Maea. The child grows inside you, yours and Johai’s.”
I shook my head hard enough to make the room spin. This is not how it was supposed to happen. You have doomed both me and my unborn child. The day coming is not far, long before I could bring this child to life safely. I stood up and grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a candlestick, and threw it. The candlestick collided with the wall with a satisfying thunk. It did not ease the despair that was billowing up inside me. I had resigned myself to my fate. Why tease me with something I can never have? I rubbed my stomach once again. The future I wanted is growing within me, the future I can never have.
“Why would you damn this child?” I shouted. “I am destined to die, don’t you understand? I was the last of my line. I am to break the circle by ending the line of diviners.”
“There is hope yet.”
Tears were still falling down my cheeks. I brushed them away with an impatient hand. What hope is there left? One night, one mistake, and I destroyed the one chance of saving Johai. How can I die for Johai while I am creating new life within me?
“How do you know? You cannot see into the future as I can.” My words were bitter. I would be glad for her to leave me with my grief. She did not leave me. She stayed by my side, patient and calm.
“I may not have your gifts, but I am of your blood, Maea. I had a vision of your daughter, and she will be beautiful and powerful.” Elenna put an arm around my shoulder.
I leaned against her, unwilling to be angry any longer. She did not know. I should have told her. Perhaps she thought she was helping. It was my fault for giving in to the desires of my body.
“Now listen to me, Maea. I have not done this for you alone. I knew you would try to give your life to save Johai, but your child is too important for you to do that. I have a plan.”
I glanced up at her through the tears in my eyes. “You knew?”
She nodded. “Yes. I have known since the day I met you and before.” I opened my mouth to question her, but she shushed me. “In order to destroy the specter, we must kill the host.”
“I cannot—” I began to protest.
“Johai will live. You have my word upon that. On the day the moon swallows the sun, the barrier between the world of the living and the world of the spirits is at its thinnest, and during this time, the specter can take on another host. We must convince someone to become his new host, and once he has taken that body, you must kill them.”
My skin prickled. The idea of killing someone sent my stomach twisting, but I had known that was the truth. It had always been the only way.
“How can we transfer the host?”
“We have to get to the Sea Chamber and perform the summoning using the blood of the proposed host.”
It sounded easy enough, though I suspected it was more complicated than Elenna made it seem. “Who would be the new host? Who would be willing to make that sacrifice?”
Elenna’s smile faltered for but a moment. “Do you remember in Sanore, Arlene had conceded that if King Adair were no longer king, it could bring an end to the war?”
I gasped. “You do not mean...”
“We will make Adair the new host, and once the specter is within him, he will die.”
I looked at the walls, expecting to see someone watching or listening. No one was near, but who knew if someone could hear through the walls or might be listening at the keyhole. This is madness. I may hate Adair for what he had done to me, but I was not sure if I could kill him with my own hand. I had been accused of treason and murder before; even if we somehow succeeded, the Danhadines would have me beheaded for his murder. Am I really to choose between the man I love and the man who betrayed me?
“Think on it,” Elenna said. “When the day comes, one of them must die, and it will be up to you to choose.”
We continued our journey after that. Elenna fussed over me. Insisting that we take breaks to let me rest and forcing me to eat and drink herbal brews that she made especially for me. My father did not comment, but when I would jump from my horse to vomit on the side of the road, I often saw him looking at me, trying to puzzle out what was wrong or perhaps knowing already and afraid to ask. Even if the weight of the world did not rest upon my shoulders, a baseborn child was not something I would want everyone to know about. During one of our numerous stops, I found Beau waiting for me as I emerged from the brush where I had been retching once again. His expression gave nothing away, but I had been waiting for this moment since I had realized I was with child.
“I’m sorry. I should be able to ride now. Are the others waiting for me?”
“The duke has made no complaints, but the men are whispering, especially those with families,” Beau said.
“Oh?” I shuffled my foot for a moment. I dug at a bit of grass with my toe, afraid to meet Beau’s eye. Somehow having him know what I had done made me ashamed. I was a widow but too long a widow to pretend this child was Jon’s.
“You are with child.” It was not a question but a statement. He was as ever blunt and to the point.
I blushed. “Yes.”
He nodded. This was the last possible conversation I wanted to be having with Beau, but he was not letting me leave.
“Whose child is it?”
I touched my stomach. The child had yet to quicken, but I could instinctively feel her life force within me. My pregnancy was so new, yet I already loved the daughter I had created with Johai.
I looked up to meet Beau’s eyes. “It is Johai’s.”
He did not react. He stared at me for a moment and then turned on his heel. “Do not press yourself. It is not good for the child.”
I returned to the others. My father was watching me with a raised brow. Well, now that Beau knows, I may as well tell my father the same. I decided to wait until that night, lest prying ears hear the truth as well. We were staying at another roadside inn. We sat in the common room with Elenna. I explained to my father briefly what Elenna had done and gave him a vague explanation of our plan to stop the specter. I left out the part about Adair. He may have been my father, but he was one of Adair’s closest allies. I could not be certain he would choose me over his king if it came down to it.
“I am to be a grandfather.” My father chuckled when I finished telling him.
He slapped the table. “The child will never want. You can be certain of that. I can find you a lord to marry to cover up the paternity. There’s plenty of men who would marry you. You are beautiful and powerful.”
“And a convicted traitor,” I said. I held up my hand to stop him. “I am sorry, but I will not marry.” Not again, not without love. “I will bear this child alone if I must. The Biski dreau do it all the time.” I looked to Elenna for confirmation.
She nodded her head in agreement. “It is true, m’lord. Someone of Maea’s status among my people never marries. She is bound to her service. She will bear her daughter and train her to be a dreau as she is.”
My father tugged at his beard in thought. “This is not the wilds. You are a daughter of House Diranel and Wodell both. You by right belong at the right hand of the king. What will people think if you bear a bastard?”
They will respect me for my wisdom, I hope, if I can make it through this. I was not certain what welcome awaited me in Keisan. My father seemed certain all would be well, but I knew Adair. He would not welcome me back with open arms.
“The child is powerful if she affects you so. When the people see that, they will not care about her parentage,” Elenna commented as she handed me a cup of tea.
I took it and held the warm tin cup between my hands. The warmth spread through my body, and I took a moment of reflection before answering. Keisan was a different world compared to the Biski territories. I was under no delusions—the child would be scorned; I would have to find a way to protect her.
“I fear for her, for the future. If this war runs its course, what will be left for this child to inherit?” I could not bear the thought of my daughter missing out on a full life. She was my second chance. I had hope for myself, but I dared not think too far ahead. I had learned that much at least, to hope too much was to be disappointed. I rested my hand on my as of yet flat stomach.
Elenna reached across to me and laid her hand over mine, which was placed over my stomach. “She is strong, and she will lend you her strength. Do not fear.” She smiled as she sat back.
“We will see this foolish war ended. Do not worry,” my father said with a pounded fist on the table.
I appreciated his confidence. If Adair would listen to his council, then maybe we could end the war with little bloodshed. Not completely without bloodshed. Someone must die in the Sea Chamber.
The first sign of the ocean was a few days after that. I saw gulls from the coast reeling overhead. My nervousness doubled. The soft rolling hills and farmlands that boarded Keisan made for easy riding. I was weary from travel but feared the end of our journey even more. A few days after I saw the gulls, we were travelling along a road that led to Keisan. I could see the palace in the distance, and despite my fear, my heart swelled at the sight. A cloud of dirt heralded the approach of riders from the city. I had not hidden my features, at the duke’s behest. I had often been spotted by small folk, who were both terrified and awed by my dark hair and violet eyes. Those close to the palace had most likely heard the stories and knew I was convicted of murdering the king.
“We will not ride in like thieves in the night,” my father had said. “If I disguise you, then it can only be assumed there is something to hide. We are riding to Keisan to give counsel to His Majesty. There is no danger in that.”
When the riders approached, I could see the navy banner with the silver tree of House Raleban flapping in the breeze. They wore armor and long blue cloaks flowing from their shoulders, marking them as men of the city guard. We’ve been sent an escort, or are they here to imprison me? We halted our progress as they drew closer, and waited to meet them. The guards stopped a few feet away from us, their mounts pawing the ground and tossing their heads.
My father rode forward to meet them. “Good Captain, to what do we owe such a greeting?”
The captain did not acknowledge his teasing and said instead in a booming voice, “Duke Wodell, you and your party are to come with me.”
“We will go gladly,” he said. He signaled for everyone to follow. We rode in twos, flanked on all sides by the mounted palace guard.
My heart was hammering in my chest. Though none of the soldiers looked at me, I felt their eyes on me nonetheless. Be strong for your daughter. You will make it through this; it is your destiny. I rode with my head held high.
We were marched through the lower gates through the hovels of the outer ring, then to the middle ring that housed the merchant class, to the inner ring, which was reserved for those of noble birth. Passersby stopped to watch our progress before continuing on. There was no fanfare or joyful proclamations as we were brought into the palace courtyard.
We were not taken to the palace proper, but instead, my father, Elenna, Beau, and I were all escorted to the tower. We were each given our own chamber. My own was not the same hovel where I had stayed on my previous visit. It was furnished with a straw bed, a table and a chair, and a fireplace, which was lit with a fire burning. In the wall was one window, a small slit, which let a single shaft of light in. When the gaoler closed the door, I felt panic rise up to choke me. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I knew this would happen. Adair loves a show. This is nothing more than a way to gain the upper hand. I tried not to pace and, instead, sat down on the straw bed.
I was weary. My legs throbbed, and I felt the nausea creeping at the back of my throat. I decided to lie down, to rest my eyes. I fell asleep, and when I slept, I dreamed. I strolled through the sunlit gardens of Keisan. The waves roared and crashed against the cliff side nearby. I could nearly smell the salt air. I sighed; how I had missed this place.
“You’ve returned,” a voice said.
I turned around and expected my mother, but instead I saw my grandmother standing in a white gown. Her white hair spilled down her back. The lines of age had melted from her face, and her eyes had a brighter vibrancy than I remembered. I ran to her, and she embraced me.
“How are you here? I thought you had gone beyond the veil to the life after,” I said.
She stroked my hair and pushed it back from my face. “I will journey there soon, but not until I had a moment to give you one last lesson.”
“How can you linger here? I thought when we died we crossed over.”
She smiled. “You are bright like your mother. We all must cross, but time flows differently here in the world of dreams. For me only an instant has passed since my earthly body perished. For you months or years could pass. Come, we do not have much longer.” She took my hand in hers, and we strolled through the garden. “My grandmother often talked of the gardens at Keisan. They are more beautiful than I even imagined,” my grandmother said conversationally.
“Yes, I spent many happy hours here,” I replied. I wanted to ask her more questions, but I knew that asking too many questions yielded no more answers when it came to those who dwelled in the realm of dreams.
My grandmother smiled, and we stopped to admire a fountain, which bubbled merrily. I remembered it from my first visit to Keisan; it was here I had met Queen Idella. It seemed an eternity ago now.
“Death brings clarity, but the dead may give no real answers to the living, I fear,” she said. She touched my stomach. “Your daughter has such great promise before her. She could be the rebirth of our people. In your womb grows a future of great prosperity for diviners.”
“You said I would have to die to end the prophecy. Elenna says my daughter will be a great and powerful diviner. What is the truth?”
“The truth is hidden in the falsehood. I cannot tell you. The future is not set. The creation of this child has opened hundreds of pathways, each with a different outcome. Your decisions will close some, but then even more might be revealed. We do not know what the future holds. Everything is in flux. Like the waves crashing on the shore, no two are the same, and they are constantly in a state of change. Your child has changed your path, and now what remains is an unknown road.”
“I understand,” I said, thoug
h I was still uncertain. Have I altered the prophecy? Will that future change?
My grandmother studied me for a moment, then laid her hand on me again. “There is more I must warn you about. Come.”
She stood up, and I followed her out of the garden and into the palace. We passed through the empty hallways. Down the same hallway I had found myself running through many times in my dreams. My mother was not waiting this time, but my grandmother guided me to a hidden doorway behind a portrait of a long-dead king. The wall pushed away, revealing a secret passageway. It went down for a long time, at times in complete darkness. I had to rely on my grandmother for support to keep me from stumbling and falling. At the bottom of the winding stairway, it was dark but for a single torch burning in a sconce on the wall. It made a circle of light, revealing a wooden door falling off its hinges. A faint musty smell clung to the air. My grandmother pushed open the door. I had seen this place before.
“This is the place where the first discovered her gift and where she trapped the man she loved to save him from himself. You too shall walk down her path. Your path is not an easy one, I am afraid,” my grandmother said as she lit torches along the walls. The ring of torches made a halo of light in the room.
In the center of the room was a large stone basin. Water dripped into it from above. The rhythmic sound reminded me of the beating drums I heard whenever a vision was about to grip me. This is the source of my power. This is where it all began.
“This is the Sea Chamber, and this is where you will end the cycle at last.” My grandmother stood beside the basin. She was holding a torch, which put her face in shadow. Her appearance was ghoulish as if she were a bare skull grinning at me. “Remember what I have shown you. From here on you will be alone.”
Chapter Fifteen
ADAIR LEFT ME WAITING for an entire day. I spent much of it resting and preparing my appeal. If I am wrong, I have doomed us and my child. The thought crept through my mind as my gaoler brought my evening meal. It was a fish stew with warm crusty bread. I picked at it, churning the contents with a spoon; just the smell of food made my stomach want to heave. The nausea had only gotten worse, and I found little relief from it during those days. When the gaoler came to take away my hardly touched meal, I asked for a cup of mint tea. He grunted and came back a few minutes later with a steaming cup. I sat on the edge of my pallet, thinking, waiting and praying. He is treating me well, despite my imprisonment. It was something to be glad for.
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