by Anna B. Doe
I hope that whoever’s holding me in the air is doing it properly because, if not, I’ll fall right on my ass and embarrass myself in front of everybody around including the cameras and people watching TV at home.
Even from the distance, I can see her face clearly. Her lips are curled in a big, bright, goofy smile. It’s blinding even from the distance, and I have a feeling I can see tears shine in her eyes.
She’s here.
The lump in my throat is so big it’s hard to swallow.
She came.
Even though I know Bel’s busy with studying and exams and what not, she came.
For me.
Tink is here, on this side of the world, just because she knows how much this means to me.
“Bel is here,” I somehow manage to utter.
When there is no answer from my friend, I make myself look away from the love of my life to look at him.
“But you knew that already.”
“I maybe heard something about it,” he admits.
I’m not sure if I want to hug him or strangle him.
The last couple of weeks have been hard.
Mentally and physically.
There were times, numerous times, I would give anything to have Anabel by my side. Even if only to come home to her. To kiss her, hold her. To have her small body curl around mine as we fall asleep after a long day. Hell, I would have been happy if I’d gotten to hold her for a mere few minutes.
It made me realize something.
Playing professional football and winning the Super Bowl … Those have been my dreams since I was just a kid, but it doesn’t mean anything if I don’t have somebody to share it with. It doesn’t mean anything if I don’t have my Tinkerbell by my side.
Without her, I’m alive, but I’m not living.
Without her, I breathe, but I don’t feel.
Without her, my heart is just an empty shell.
I give the guys a signal before I jump off their shoulders and start walking toward the stands. People call my name. They want to congratulate me or talk to me, but I have only one goal on my mind.
Tinkerbell.
Get to her.
Hold her.
Kiss her.
Weeks. That’s how long we’ve been apart. Five weeks. Thirty-five days. Eight hundred and forty hours. Give or take.
Too fucking long.
Even if it’s only for five minutes, it’s too fucking long.
The day she graduates from college I’m handcuffing her to me, and I’m not letting her go. Because she’s mine, and I’m hers, and we … we’re forever.
People stare as I pass by. Some reporters try to keep up with me, but soon I leave them behind as my walk turns to a full-on run.
I climb the stairs two at the time. This distance that’s between us can’t disappear fast enough. It probably takes me a minute or two, but to me it feels like with every step I take toward her the time slows down more and more, keeping me away.
Everybody moves out of my way, even Sienna and Grace take a step back as I stride toward Anabel.
My eyes roam her body, taking her in. She’s just as beautiful as ever.
Her face is makeup free and her cheeks are rosy from the cold air, or maybe it’s excitement. She’s nibbling at her lower lip as she watches me near. Dark waves are disheveled from her fingers, and her clothes are wrinkled.
Neither of us utters a word as I stop in front of her.
I cup her cheeks as I lower my head toward her. Bel stands on the tips of her toes, something she likes to do when I kiss her, and her hands grip my forearms.
The kiss we share is agonizingly slow. When my lips touch hers, I hear her whimper, and my heart hurts with all the love I feel for her.
How can something so small be so big? How can one tiny heart contain all the love I feel for this woman? It seems impossible and yet, somehow, it’s possible. I’m living, breathing, walking proof of it.
Our lips slide together. Anabel trembles beneath me, and when my thumbs caress the soft skin of her cheek, I can feel their wetness.
My fingers run through the silky strands of her hair and she tilts her head to the side, opening her mouth. Without further delay, my tongue slides inside her silky, wet mouth.
I moan at the feel of her.
It’s perfect.
It’s right.
It feels like home.
That’s what Anabel is for me.
Home.
We break our kiss but don’t move away. I touch my forehead to hers and slowly open my eyes.
She takes a second longer which gives me the chance to look at her dark lashes flutter and slowly lift revealing dark-blue gems hiding beneath.
Dark circles are underneath her eyes, they are reddish and puffy, but they look at me with so much love it’s hard to breathe.
A shy smile spreads over her lips.
“Congrats on the win, babe! I’m so proud of you.” Her voice is a hushed whisper, and I have to kiss her again.
A quick and hard peck on the lips turns into a long, deep, almost desperate kiss.
“Thanks, but …” I shake my head to clear my mind. “How did you get here?”
Even though she’s in front of me, even though I have her in my arms and feel her heat, I can’t believe it’s real. I’m afraid I’ll wake up without her and realize it’s all been a dream.
She rolls her eyes. “You usually take a plane.”
“It’s good to know you didn’t lose all that sass somewhere over the Atlantic,” I tease her, chuckling softly. My arms wrap around her slender frame and pull her into my body.
On a normal day, I tower over her, almost an entire foot, but now in my full gear she seems even tinier and more delicate. Just like the Tinkerbell I always compare her to.
My Tinkerbell.
My ray of sunshine and glitter.
My forever.
Bel wraps her legs around my middle and leans her cheek against my shoulder. I kiss the crook of her neck, inhaling her sweet, intoxicating scent.
“I’ve missed you so bad, baby,” I whisper roughly.
Until now, I didn’t realize how hard these last few weeks were on me. How much I missed her. This is our moment, and I don’t want anything or anyone to ruin it.
For me, nobody else exists.
Just us.
And this moment.
“I’ve missed you too.” Her voice breaks a little. “So, so much.”
I feel her pain. I understand it because it matches my own.
“It’ll be over soon. Just a little while longer and our forever will start.”
“I know …” She sighs and lifts her head to look at me. “But sometimes, the fear gets the better of me. Sometimes I’m afraid our forever won’t come.”
Listening to her broken, painful voice breaks me. I want to take her worries and pain away. I want her to know she’s not alone and that we’ll get through this.
In the last two years, we’ve already been through so much. Some would say too much. We just have to keep it together for a little while longer.
“It’ll come,” I assure her. Her body slides down, and I grab her hands in mine.
Her hands are pale and delicate. Her nails are painted a light purple color, and her fingers are full of simple silver bands. Except for her thumb. She left that ring for me to find before she returned home to Croatia.
When I found it in my drawer, I figured out that although she left, she loves me—it wasn’t that hard since every ring is engraved on the inside—and I crossed the ocean to find her. Since then we made up and, for the last year, we’ve been in a long-distance relationship. I never returned the ring, and she never asked for it.
I intertwine our fingers and look her into eyes. Those deep, dark blue eyes that drink me in. Swallow me whole. Not that I want it any other way.
“And you know how I know that?” The palms of my hands start to get sweaty, but I push down the nervousness. There’s nothing to be nervous about. Bel op
ens her mouth to say something, but I continue before she can say a word. “Because, Anabel Majer, without you, my forever doesn’t exist. You are the one for me. The one who I think about first thing in the morning and the last thing before I fall asleep. You are the one who makes me laugh. You are the one who gives my life meaning, the one for who this heart beats.” I put the palm of her hand on my chest so she can feel it. The way my heart always speeds up when she’s around.
“Will …”
Tears fill her eyes, and I see her lip tremble as she whispers my name. Her hands grip mine harder.
“Apart from my family, you are the only woman I ever loved, Tink. It was always supposed to be you. You are my forever.”
For a split second, I doubt myself. I’ve been waiting for the right moment for months. Is this really it? Is this really the right moment? Whenever I let myself think about it, I never thought it would go this way. I was supposed to woo her. Put on nice clothes and bring her flowers. Take her to dinner in a romantic restaurant with candlelight and wine.
This is so far from the original idea it could be a completely different universe, but at the same time, it feels so right.
When you are standing at the edge of a cliff, there are two options. You can jump and fall, or you can jump and fly, but no matter what, you’ll never get your answer if you don’t jump.
So, I jump.
I get down in front of her on my knee. In all my sweaty, dirty, football glory. Her grip tightens even more. It’s almost painful as her nails dig into my skin. Her mouth falls open, forming a perfect O.
I hear a few gasps around us, but I decide to ignore them, like I did until this moment.
Anabel is the only one that matters.
“I know this is not what you imagined. Hell, I didn’t imagine it this way.” I chuckle at my own words. “You are a romantic at heart, and this is as far as it can come from romance, but I’ve been thinking about this moment for almost a year, Tink. Since that moment in the club when you crashed into my arms, I started to fall for you. I’m still falling, hard and fast. I’m falling for you every day since then, and I don’t want to stop. I love you, Anabel Majer. You are my one. My forever. Will you marry me?”
Tears are falling down her cheeks now. She’s nibbling at her lower lip to stop it from trembling, but it does nevertheless.
She shakes her head softly, and I feel my heart start to sink.
This is so bad. She doesn’t …
Then she falls to her knees and her arms wrap around me, hugging me tightly.
“Y-yes.”
She’s one small thing but her sudden movement and stuttered answer make me lose my balance, and we both fall on the floor. I bring her closer to me and turn around so that I take the force of the impact.
“What did you say?” I lift my head off the floor and look at her with wide eyes.
She cups my cheeks and starts kissing me all over my face.
“Yes.” Bel smiles at me through tears. “I said yes.”
CHAPTER 3
ANABEL
“It kind of looks small.” Sienna inspects the ring with her knowing eye.
It’s been hours since the game ended, but the list of things those guys have to do after the main event is over is endless.
After the excitement of the Knights winning the Super Bowl and Will proposing settled down, we watch the closing ceremony and then wait for the guys to do their thing in the locker room.
Once, I asked Will why it takes them so long to get out of the locker room, so he explained that they have to talk to the press, after which they have a short discussion with the coach before they go to cool off, treat their wounds, and take a shower before they can go home. I wanted to tease him about their constant complaint about girls taking too long to get ready, but I didn’t think he’d find it funny.
I chuckle lightly at Sienna’s words, not taking it personally. Sienna’s just being Sienna. Some may say she’s cruel; I call it honest. One of the many traits I love about her.
“It’s pretty.” Grace looks at me, trying to lessen the blow of her sister-in-law.
As it turns out, Grace came into J.D.’s life around the time I came to the USA to work as an Au pair last year. Because of the big age difference—he’s thirty-one and she’s thirteen—he always seems more like a father than a brother to her. And Sienna had taken her under her wing even before she knew Grace was J.D.’s sister because Grace attended ballet classes at the community center in which Sienna and her mom volunteer. Talk about a small world.
“But small. Couldn’t he get a bigger one?”
“I don’t need nor want a bigger ring, Si.” I roll my eyes at her. “Not all of us need a big, flashy stone on their hand.”
“This is not flashy.”
Sienna puts her hand next to mine to inspect and compare two rings.
Hers is huge. It has a platinum band with twisted diamond lines. In the middle sits one big diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds. It’s obnoxiously sparkly and probably weighs a ton. I wouldn’t look twice in its direction, but it’s totally Sienna.
Mine is smaller, more delicate. Just two twisted lines. One platinum, one set in diamonds with an oval, modest, diamond set in middle.
I don’t know what’s more unexpected—William asking me to marry him or him carrying this ring with him for months.
As soon as he realized I said yes—like there was an option to start with—Will got me on my feet and started dragging me down to the field.
At that point, we were already the main attraction in the stadium. People looked at us, some cheering, some wiping tears from their eyes. And if that wasn’t enough, all the cameras were on us, streaming live, and showing our faces on the big screen so that nobody missed William Price, quarterback of the Super Bowl champion team proposing. Freaking proposing.
To me.
His girlfriend.
Well, now, fiancée.
Reporters gathered around us, filming, taking pictures and asking questions, but he ignored all of it. He’s a man on a mission, whatever that may be.
We passed by his teammates and staff—all of them cat-calling and hooting—and went straight to the tunnel toward the locker rooms. Thankfully, they were empty, with all the players still celebrating out in the field. I don’t know how I would feel about walking into a room with bunch of bare-assed men.
He started throwing stuff out of his locker until he found what he was looking for. A small, black, velvet box.
For the second time that day, the air got stuck in my lungs and tears gathered in my eyes.
“You are my forever, Bel,” he said as he took my hand in his and slipped the ring on my finger.
I never looked down. For all I cared he could have put a plastic ring, or no ring at all, on my finger. My forever was looking at me right in my eyes.
“Okay, it totally is flashy,” Sienna admits, bringing me back to the present.
“You both have beautiful rings and even more beautiful men in your life.” Emily wraps her hands around me, her chin resting on my shoulder. “I can’t believe it. My baby boy is getting married.”
Tears gather in her blue eyes. She’s trying to hold them in, but one tear rolls down her cheek. Emily wipes it immediately, a bright smile curling her lips.
“I couldn’t be prouder of him, even if I wanted to. His dream came true, and he has an amazing woman by his side.”
Her words bring tears to my eyes too, but I blink them away.
“When’s the wedding?” Grace asks, a dreamy look in her eyes.
“As soon as I can pressure her to say, ‘I do’.” Will’s hands curl around my middle, pulling me to his chest.
My body relaxes in his embrace, recognizing his touch as I snuggle closely into his arms.
After weeks or even months of being apart, when we finally get together, we can’t stop touching one another. It isn’t overly sexual or anything like that.
We hold hands, or I snuggle into his side. We sneak kiss
es when we think nobody’s looking or simply press our legs together under the table when we’re eating. It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant the touch is for others, for us it means everything. Because we have only a few short days to charge on touches and kisses before we’ll be separated again.
“You don’t have to pressure me to do anything.” I look over my shoulder at him. “I would marry you tonight—”
“Great, let’s do that.”
“—if my plane didn’t leave in 48 hours.”
Darkness settles in his brown gaze. I turn into his arms and cup his cheeks. Drawing him out of whatever place he lost himself to and back to me.
Thinking about leaving hurts, but if we lose ourselves in thinking and counting down the time we have left we’ll lose the chance to actually be together and enjoy the time we have.
“Soon.” My thumb slides over his scruffy cheek. “You are coming to Croatia in a couple of weeks, and not long after that I’ll be done with college. And then it’s nothing but forever. Our forever.”
“Our forever.”
*
WILLIAM
When we are away, the time seems to slow down. Seconds slowly turn to minutes then turn to hours and then to days. The time drags, impeding us from being together. And when we are together, time always flies by. There will never be enough time. It doesn’t matter how much time we spend together. It doesn’t matter how many times I kiss her or how long I hold her. It’ll never be enough.
When she’s not by my side, I’m not whole. I’m lost. I’m just half of a man, because the other half? It’s with her.
Bel’s naked body cuddles closely to me. She’s snoring lightly and mumbling something incoherently in her sleep. I pull her closer, enjoying the feel of her soft skin on mine. My fingers play with loose strands of her silky, black hair that falls around us both.
After the day I had, I should be asleep, but I can’t make myself close my eyes. I’m still afraid that if I do, I’ll wake up to find it was all just a dream.
Super Bowl.
Anabel being here.
Her saying yes to being my wife.
