by Anna B. Doe
Her hands are on my shoulders, fingers digging into my back. My hands are under her, holding her close to me as I thrust into her body. She’s meeting me halfway. Always there to welcome me home.
At first, we move slowly.
I get out almost completely. Just the tip of my cock touches her entrance. Then I slowly move back inside. Back home. Until she’s stretching to accommodate my thickness and length.
We fit perfectly. Two pieces of a puzzle. She’s the ying to my yang. My other half. My heart. My soulmate.
“I need more, Will,” Bel pants against my lips.
I kiss her hard and fast, not breaking our eye contact. “I know.”
We increase our tempo. There is nothing refined about this moment. We are just us. Real and raw. Bel and Will. Just two people that are connected on the most primal level. Two people that love and feel and need.
Slick skin slides against slick skin. We are both sweaty all over and we can barely hold on, but there is nothing that could make us let go. Not now. Not ever.
The bed squeaks, the headboard bumping into the wall in tune with the fast, hard movements of our bodies. I can feel her squeeze me, swallow me in. The pressure builds in my lower back, and I go even harder, trying to reach our release.
I go so hard, so fast, I don’t even get out of her. I just go in and in and in. Like there is no end. Like we are one.
One mind.
One body.
One soul.
Anabel calls my name, her pussy squeezing me, milking me strongly. I unleash everything I’ve been holding back until the pressure in my back erupts and I fall with her.
“Tink,” I groan loudly, my dick pulsing inside of her until there is nothing else to give. Until we are both spent and sweaty lying in the middle of our bed.
CHAPTER 5
ANABEL
We make love three more times after that. Hard and fast, sweet and slow. As long as we are together, as long as I can feel him under the palms of my hands, I don’t care.
The moon that was shining through the open window is soon replaced by the first rays of sunlight. Too soon. The time is flying by, and there is nothing we can do to slow it down, much less stop it.
Through the whole night, neither of us fell asleep. Between our love makings we would lie on the bed, our limbs intertwined. His strong hands were around me holding me close. Keeping me safe. My head rested against his naked chest, so I could hear his heartbeat, feel the rise and fall of his lungs with every breath he took.
“J.D. and Sienna will be parents,” I whisper softly, looking at the first rays of sun shining through the lingering darkness of the night. “How surreal is that?”
“I totally didn’t expect that.” His lips brush over my forehead.
“I know, right? But when you think of it, they’ve been married for almost a year now. Si is in her late twenties, and J.D. is thirty-one.”
“Hmmm.” I let him think it through and just enjoy being in his arms. “I guess you are right.”
Silence settles over us again. His hands caress my back in slow, even movements, and my fingers trail different shapes on his chest.
“You want kids, Bel?”
I tilt my head back to get a better look at his face.
We’d talked a lot about our future, but it was always about what would happen once I finished college. How I’ll move to the States and we’ll be together. But we never moved further from that point. We never talked about marriage and jobs and kids. Never discussed where we’ll live or what we want out of life. So, his sudden question catches me unprepared, but at the same time …
“Yeah.” I’ve always known I want kids. Somewhere down the road I want a family, I just couldn’t put a face to the picture in my head. Not before William. “What about you?”
His hand cups my cheek. “I want it all with you, Tink. White picket fence, as many kids as you want, a dog or two, rocking chair on the front porch. The whole deal with a bow on top.”
Now I can see it in my head clearly. William coming home to me. William sleeping with our baby on his chest. William teaching our son how to throw a ball or playing tea party with our little girl. William and the kids playing with dogs.
The images continue showing like snapshots in my brain. It’s so clear. So real. So real it hurts. And until this moment, I didn’t even realize how much I want it.
How much I need it all.
“But first I need to marry you and move your sweet ass up here.” He spanks said ass softly.
I giggle. “That sounds reasonable.”
“And maybe we should wait a bit with kids.” His words make me lean against my elbow to look at him better. “We’re not as old as those two. The Knights are at the top now and there will be a lot of extra work and endorsements, lot of training and away games. I don’t want it all to fall on you, Bel. I want to be there for you. There for our kids. We are in this together.”
I nod my head. It’s not like I want to start popping babies as soon as we get married or anything. Will has his career, but I have mine too. “I totally agree with you.”
“But, don’t worry, baby. We need to practice as much as possible so when the time comes to work on those babies we are well prepared.”
Laughing at his words, I bend down and kiss him on the lips. His fingers tangle in the mess that’s my hair and pull me down to gain better access to my mouth.
“Lots and lots of practice.”
So, we use the last couple of hours before the alarm rings, signaling we have to start getting ready, doing just that—practicing.
*
I nibble at my lip nervously as I watch the row for check-in get smaller and smaller in front of me.
William is behind me, his hands tightly wrapped around my middle. My hands are curled around his strongly holding on.
The lump in my throat is so big I’m scared it’ll suffocate me.
I hate this moment. Going to the airport, walking away, saying goodbye. It all feels so final. It hurts so much to do it, but it would hurt even more not to have him here.
From Will’s rigid stance and tense body behind me, I know he must feel the same. Since the alarm went off and we both started to get ready to go, the easy silence from the night before disappeared. In its place there was only tension, fear, hurt. All those dark, hard feelings cling to our skin, not letting go. No matter how many times we do this, it never gets easier.
Three people in front of me.
Somehow, I make myself push the lump in my throat far enough so I can speak. “I have to go.”
My voice is a trembling whisper. It feels small and delicate and scared. Just like I feel. Powerless.
His lips land on the top of my head. “I know.”
His voice is the same as mine. It sounds almost broken. The only other time I heard him speak that way was when he came to Croatia to demand answers from me. And I hate it. I hate that I’m doing this to him.
To us.
Long distance is like cancer. It eats at you alive. But we fight through it. Day in and day out. We take days as they come, not going too far into what ifs and whens. But it gets harder every time.
“Two weeks.”
“It’s like two years,” he groans as we take another step closer.
I turn in his arms and make him look at me. “Then you’ll be in Croatia for three months.”
“Two.”
“What?”
“Two months.”
A shadow falls over his face. I swallow once again before speaking. “What do you mean two months?”
Last year he spent March to June in Croatia. Then he went back, and I came as soon as I finished with my exams. I was hoping for the same, but apparently not.
“More work. My agent got me some endorsement deals and stuff. I didn’t want it, but I couldn’t say no. It’s just …”
“No.” I shake my head. “I get it. It’s a part of the deal.”
I’m not lying. I do get it, but that doesn’t mean t
his isn’t a hard pill to swallow.
We take another step closer. I feel my heart squeeze painfully in my chest. Right now, I don’t know what hurts more. The fact that I’m going home and we’ll be apart or the fact that he’ll have to cut his visit short for work. The lines are blurred just like my vision.
One more step.
Will’s Adam’s apple wobbles as he swallows. His lips land on my forehead. The kiss long and hard.
My eyes fall shut, and I just let myself feel. I don’t want to cry. I can’t cry in front of him. The first time we said goodbye I cried in front of him and it was too painful. For both of us.
His fingers lift my chin. I open my eyes, and through the blur, I see him bend down to kiss me. Soft and loving. Prolonging this moment to the maximum.
Soft whimpers come out of my mouth and tears burn in my eyes, but I hold them in. Slowly, we break the kiss, and I take the final step back.
I love you, I mouth and then cover my mouth with a trembling hand.
The pain in his eyes is so clear, so real, and I hurt even more for him. I know this is the end. The place where we have to say our goodbyes and walk separate ways.
His fingers grip mine stronger, not letting go.
“I love you, Tink. Soon.”
Soon.
We’ll be together soon.
It doesn’t make it easier, though.
So, with my backpack over my shoulders and suitcase in my hand, I turn my back to the love of my life and go through check-in.
Our fingers hold on as long as they can reach, but the distance grows stronger, and there is nothing we can do to stop it.
I don’t turn around. I don’t even peek over my shoulder. It would break us both.
With tears held in as long as humanly possible, I walk away. And when I’m a safe distance from him I let them fall.
I let myself feel it all.
The hurt.
The pain.
The heartbreak.
The love.
So much love.
Soon.
CHAPTER 6
WILLIAM
Watching her walk away, seeing the tears in her eyes … It breaks me.
It fucking breaks me.
If I could take her pain I would. If I could do something to make even the tiniest of smiles appear on her lips I would.
I’d do anything.
Be anything.
But nothing I do or say will change the fact that this is our life. This is what we have to do—what we chose—in order to one day, eventually down the road, be together.
At that moment, now almost a year ago, it seemed like things couldn’t get worse.
When Bel left me for the first time, I was broken. I didn’t know what was happening. Why did she leave? The only thing I knew was that I needed her. She was my air. My heartbeat. Without her my life didn’t make sense. My chest was just an empty shell. I was existing, but I wasn’t living. At that moment, I thought I knew what pain was. Well, I was wrong.
The first time I had to turn my back to her and leave her behind?
The first time I watched her walk away and I knew I couldn’t do anything to stop her?
I don’t know which one was worse.
Her eyes were shattered into pieces. The pools without an end, drowning in tears. Her quiet sobs would bring even the strongest of man to their knees. Her swollen, red lips were begging me to kiss her. To take all this pain away.
But there is nothing that could ease the impact of our decision. Nothing that could make it better and take the pain away.
Not even the knowledge that we are together, that this isn’t the end, that we’ll see each other soon, could make all of this right.
That first time we held on for as long as they would let us. Until the very last minute—very last second ... Even as they were calling my name to board the plane, I couldn’t make myself untangle her from my arms.
Because leaving Bel behind was like leaving my heart.
But I sucked it up and did it. I untangled her shaking body from mine and took a step back. Then another and another. Until I couldn’t see her tear-stained face. Until her sobs didn’t reach my ears. Until she was just a memory that appeared when I closed my eyes.
That first time I left her behind, and then months later when I had to go through all of that all over again, only this time I was the one left behind I learned what a real pain—a real heartbreak—is.
It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy.
It consumes you whole. You’re just a shadow of the person that existed once. Just an illusion. There’s nothing you can do but feel. Feel so much. So hard. So long. Those dark feelings that make you rethink and doubt everything you think you know.
As days turn to weeks turn to months and seasons change, we do it again and again. We meet, on both sides of Atlantic, we are together, and we savor every second we have together only to part at the end of the way. Only to go through all of it again. Through heartbreak and pain. Through tears and one big gap of nothingness.
I grip the railing that separates me from the woman I love. The woman that holds my heart. I try to even my breathing, to push the pain inside of the box and close it away. To shut down the memories, the feelings that these moments always bring to life.
It’s hard.
So damn hard.
Almost as much as letting go of her hand.
But I do it.
Every fucking time.
I let go.
We let go.
You know why?
Because at the end of the day, we do believe all of this will make us grow stronger. That the distance between us will make us cherish every second we have together and the love we share is fierce enough to withstand it all.
The distance.
The heartbreak.
The pain.
Because our love is forever.
*
ANABEL
Saying goodbye is not the only thing that’s hard. It’s also hard to return home. Or what I called home before I met William Price and he turned my life upside down.
The differences between our two worlds are as evident and as clear as day. It scares me, and it excites me. But more importantly, just as I’ve known since the moment I’ve met him, Will changed the world as I’ve known it and no matter what, nothing will ever be the same again.
“You’re yawing.” Valentina looks at me accusingly. “Again.”
But being the good friend she is, she signals the waiter to get us another round of coffee.
“Jet lag is killing me.”
“I think you spent more time traveling than you did at his place.”
“But it was worth it, Val.” I sigh contently when the smell of fresh coffee reaches my nostrils. There is nothing like coffee. My medicine for everything. “They won the freaking Super Bowl. How cool is that? What if it was the only chance he had and I missed it? No way.”
Val looks at me like I’ve grown another head and shakes her head in amusement. “Just the fact that you know what the Super Bowl is, is amazing in itself.”
“Hey! I’m not that bad!” I protest. “You should have seen me when I first came to the US.”
“I can imagine.” Val laughs, her blond curls bouncing with the movement. “I still can’t believe that the most clueless girl when it comes to sports landed herself a football player for a boyfriend.”
“The only thing you care about is his job and status,” I tease her. Valentina is a lot of things, but superficial isn’t one of them. I just enjoy getting the best of her.
“The fact that he’s good looking, smart, funny and kind doesn’t hurt, either.”
“I know,” I sigh again. This time, my content state and most likely dreamy gaze have nothing to do with coffee. If there’s one thing that I love more in this life than coffee, it’s William. “He’s perfect.”
“Please tell me there is another Will Price out there in the world. I would hate to have to steal your boyfriend ju
st because he’s freaking amazing.”
“Hey!” I slap her hand on the table. “You keep your grubby paws off my guy, you hear me, missy? And anyway, don’t you have your own boyfriend?”
A dark shadow passes over her face only for a second. But I know her good enough to notice. I narrow my eyes at her.
“Is everything okay between you and Dominik?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” The wide smile that she forces on her face would look real to anyone but me. I know her better than that. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kick him in the butt if a doppelgänger of your boyfriend existed somewhere in the world.”
I open my mouth to tell her there might be a close second when her phone chimes on the table, signaling she has a text message and averting our attention off the conversation.
“I have to go. They need me at the office.” She gets up in a hurry and gathers her stuff. “Rain check?”
“Yeah. See you later.”
My lips press together in a tight line as I watch her sashay away.
Val got away this time, but I’ll get to the bottom of it. Something’s going on with her and Dominik. I’m sure of it.
CHAPTER 7
ANABEL
I sway to the music blasting in my ears. My fingers typing as fast as they can, trying to make the most of every second the inspiration is here.
Sometimes I wonder why I want to write for a living when inspiration can be such a bitch, enjoying giving me a hard time while I stare at the blank page of the screen. But I love it. I love writing stories and hanging out with characters, listening to them tell me their story. It sounds strange, and probably crazy, but go with me on this, will ya? It gives me joy. I can live a thousand different lives, be a thousand different people, but at the same time be one.
Because of the school stuff and traveling back and forth between America and Europe I was behind on my publishing schedule. Good thing is in the end I decided to go indie so there is not much harm in being behind. I make my own schedule and don’t have to explain myself to anybody besides my fans. And it seems they understand. For now, anyway. But I don’t want to keep them waiting too long.
