by Liz Bower
And I had about a million texts from Jaz wanting to know where the hell I’d disappeared to. My cover story was supposed to be that I was ill, but I didn’t want to lie to him. Instead, I arranged to meet him to fill him in on all the details. After I’d seen Beck again and found out how much I could tell him. Apparently, Jaz had a shit-ton of gossip to fill me in on too. I smiled at that, wondering if he would be able to top mine.
The rest of the day dragged by as I waited for seven o’clock to roll around. Shopping all done, I already had steaks marinating in the fridge and a bottle of red open. Primped to within an inch of my life, I left my hair down. Pulled on a soft blue cashmere jumper that clung to my breasts and hips. Paired it with a pair of faded jeans. I didn’t want to get too dressed up, but I wanted to look good.
Seven o’clock on the dot, there was a knock on the front door. Purposefully slowing my strides, I went to answer it. Standing on the doorstep was the Beck I thought of as the real Beck. The one that reminded me of the guy I met on the plane. Blue jeans and a grey T-shirt stretched across his chest. In his hands, a cake box and a bottle of wine.
“Hey. Come in.”
“Hi.”
Stepping through the doorway, he paused to kiss my cheek before heading for the kitchen.
“Seeing as you’re cooking, I thought the least I could do was bring dessert.”
Lifting the lid of the box he revealed a huge chocolate cake. My favourite. “Maybe we should skip dinner and start with dessert.” Beck laughed and lowered the lid.
“Good things come to those who wait.”
I had the feeling he wasn’t just talking about dessert. “Have a seat. Dinner’s almost ready; I just need to grill the steaks.”
I left him with the wine and glasses and grabbed the steaks from the fridge. Got the griddle pan hot and laid the steaks out on it. The kitchen was quiet, the sizzle of the meat hitting the pan loud and filling the air with the smell of charring meat. Collecting plates and cutlery, I set them on the breakfast bar where Beck sat quietly. Flipped the steaks over then prodded at them with the tongs. As I wondered what Beck was going to tell me over dinner, I thought about what I needed to say to him. Suddenly, the smell of the steaks had my stomach churning. Maybe we should have talked before eating.
Testing the steaks, I served them up and slid into the seat next to Beck. Took a large sip of the wine he’d poured for me.
Neither of us made an attempt to eat. Instead, I lined my cutlery up against the edge of the table mat. Took a deep breath and thought, sod it. “You said there were some things you needed to explain to me?” Might as well get it over with.
Beck ran his thumb across the scar on his wrist. I’d seen him do it a few times. Usually when he was nervous.
“Where to start?”
Placing my hand over his, the motion of his thumb stopped. “Start wherever you want. Whatever you want to share with me. But you don’t have to tell me anything. I understand why you did what you did. How you behaved.” He wrapped his fingers around my hand.
“I used to work for the GMP. The Manchester police force. I was an officer before I joined the team I’m with now. Seven years ago, I arrested a guy for armed robbery. He served some time but then was released.”
Work wasn’t what I had expected him to talk about, but I relaxed enough to take a bite of the steak.
“I guess he wasn’t mentally stable and he held a grudge against me. In those days, I worked shifts. One night, I finished late and got home to find the glass panel in the front door broken. Shards of glass littered the floor.”
His thumb rested over the scar again and I think I could guess why.
“I should have called it in. Called for backup. But I didn’t. The lights were off as I entered the house and made my way to the living room. A single lamp illuminated him and my wife. All that training and I froze. He had her tied up to a chair. Gun aimed at her temple.”
His head dropped, and I wanted to reach out to him. Comfort him somehow. Not that anything could bring comfort to those memories.
“There was nothing I could do. I know that now but at the time…he was waiting for me to get home to pull the trigger. To make sure I witnessed it. And when I did…when he…I lost it. We fought. I tried to get the gun from him. He tried to get away from me. I guess he thought I’d suffer more if I lived.
“We ended up in the hallway as he tried to escape out of the front door. I don’t remember much after that. Except I shot him. Three times. When backup showed up I was still on the hallway floor.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it. There were no words for me to say. I couldn’t make that better. Or even understand what would drive someone to kill another man’s wife in cold blood. I laid my hand on his back. He lifted his head at my touch.
“When you turned up at the office that first day…that feeling of not being in control came back. I couldn’t tell you not to work there without good reason. And I couldn’t give you a good reason. I didn’t want you anywhere near the operation. But I had no way to explain it. Then when you started working with Tony…we’ll track him down, though.”
I stared at him for a moment. “Does that…did you try and track me down after our night together?” Beck pursed his lips and shook his head.
“I was tempted to. But that would be unethical. And a little stalkerish. I left you my number assuming if you were interested in seeing me again you would call…But then I kind of lost it when you contacted Period Pieces…”
“Kath told me you were trying to protect me. I get it.” He swivelled on his stool to face me, knees bumping my thighs. Lifted his hands to cradle my jaw.
“Do you?” he asked. “Because I didn’t. All I could think about was what if they came after you? That I wouldn’t be able to protect you.” He let out a harsh chuckle as his thumb traced along my jaw. “Kath told me I was overreacting. I didn’t care. The thought of losing you…”
I leaned into his touch. Wrapped my hands around his wrists to hold him there. “But you didn’t. You haven’t. You won’t.” Leaned forward so I could brush my lips over his. A gentle reminder that I was still there. That we were together. Safe. Wrapping his arms around me, he pulled me close. My head resting in the crook of his shoulder as we held onto each other.
We toyed with our food in silence for a while until—half eaten—I pushed my plate away, giving up with the pretence of finishing it. Taking Beck’s hand in mine, I headed for the sofa. Dragged him down onto the cushion next to me and leant against his chest as his arm curled around my shoulders. We remained like that for a long time—not talking, just taking comfort in being close to each other.
Until curiosity got the better of me. “So, what happens now?” Beck scooched back on the sofa until he was almost lying down and took me with him.
“What do you mean?”
My fingers found the hem of his T-shirt and plucked at the stitching. “Between us. I mean, I don’t even know if you live around here.”
“I have a crappy apartment in Manchester that I spend as little time at as I can.”
I laughed at that. The image far from the penthouse I had imagined him in. “Wait. If you live in Manchester, why did you fly from Leeds Bradford?”
“When I booked the flight, I already had a dinner meeting near Leeds the same day. It just seemed easier.”
He shrugged, then his arm tightened across my back and my shoulders tensed in response.
“I spoke to my commander today. Told him I couldn’t do this job any longer.”
Pushing myself upright so I could look at him I said, “You quit?” His lips lifted on one side into an almost smile.
“I tried. He doesn’t want me to leave the team. But I told him I can’t do this job and be with you.”
“You can’t quit because of me. I’m not asking you to choose.”
“I know you’re not. I know you wouldn’t ask that of me. But my career has already cost me…too much. It’s time for a change beca
use I won’t lose you. He asked me to think it over. There’s a training position available that he wants me to take. So he wouldn’t lose me completely. I’m not sure. I think maybe a clean break from it all would be better.”
I lay my head back on his shoulder. The idea of Beck not having to go undercover again was appealing. If not selfish. Not gonna lie though, I’d rather he didn’t have to do that. But it had to be his choice. And for the right reasons.
“You don’t have to make a decision yet. Give it some time to think it over. And please don’t quit for me.” His hand stroked across my back.
“I’ll think about it. I like you Kimberly—a lot. And I don’t want to be away with work all the time. I want to be here, with you.”
A smile crept across my face. Pushing myself up so I could reach his lips I kissed him. “I want that too.”
He looked far too serious still, and I wondered if there was more he had to say. Settling back against his chest I listened to the steady beat of his heart and waited.
“That night we met—at the hotel…I wasn’t expecting to meet someone. To meet you. The last thing I wanted to do was rush off the next morning. But work called and I had to. That’s why I left my number. Hoped…waited every day for a call or a text. But when you never did…”
My head lifted on his chest as he shrugged, and I stroked my fingers through the smattering of hairs across his abs. “I lost your business card. Well, a friend put it through the washing machine.” He shook his head and laughed.
“Then you showed up at the office. It was like a second chance. But then Jaz…”
Fingertips digging into the firm muscles of his stomach I said, “Is just a friend.”
“I know that now. But at the time I wasn’t sure you were interested in me. And then the complication of working together. I guess what I’m trying to say is that however complicated our situation may be, I want to try and make this work. To be together. I don’t want you to walk out of my life again. That I…I’m falling in love with you.”
When I pulled back to look into his eyes I paused to make sure he was really listening. “I know I’ve fallen in love with you, Beck. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I lay there quietly letting those four words sink in with a huge grin on my face.
“What about you?”
I slipped my fingers further up his T-shirt. “What about me?”
“What are you going to do now that you’re no longer working at Cooper Garson?”
“It’s funny you should mention that.” I explained the offer I had received as Beck continued to stroke my back, making me sleepy.
“Are you going to take her up on the offer?”
“If I can find the money for the first few months’ rent then yes.” His hand stopped and rested against the small of my back.
“Any ideas on how to get it?”
“Not yet. But I’m going to try.”
Lying together on the sofa in an easy silence, I felt more settled than I had in a long time. Beck and I were going to give this another go. And hopefully, I’d find a way to get the money together to turn my passion for baking into a real business.
When my eyes refused to stay open any longer I asked Beck, “Do you want to stay the night?”
“I’d love to.”
***
In the morning, I woke to Beck’s lips on my neck. His chest plastered to my back and an arm slung across my hips. “Mmm. Morning.” His lips trailed kisses down to my shoulder.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
Moving so he could roll me onto my back, he stared down at me for a moment before pressing his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss, but he pulled back. Propped himself up on an elbow and gazed down at me. He looked far too serious for this time of the morning.
“I’ve been awake for a while. Thinking.”
Well, that didn’t sound good, so I waited for him to carry on.
“How would you feel if I gave you the money to start up in business with the owner of the coffee shop?”
Okay, not the direction I had been expecting him to take. How would I feel? Like a charity case. I shook my head. “I’m not taking your money, Beck.” When he smiled, showing me those dimples, I frowned at him.
“I wouldn’t be giving it to you. It would be an investment. A partnership.” Gazing into my eyes he shrugged. “I want us to be a partnership.”
My first instinct was to refuse. But him wanting us to be a partnership made my heart melt. I wanted that too. Did I trust enough in myself, my ability—in us—to accept that? To try?
It seemed to be the least I could do. Beck was willing to give up his cash, his job even, to make this work between us. Would it hurt to accept his money—to accept that sometimes you couldn’t always achieve your dreams, your goals alone? That sometimes you had to accept help from others?
And if our roles were reversed? I’d want to help Beck out in a heartbeat. “An investment how? How would it work?”
“The way I see it, you’d be the one putting in the work, the hours to create the cakes. You’re the one with the ideas. I’d just be providing the capital. Then—eventually—when you start making a profit we’d share those profits. The money I put in to start it would eventually be paid back.”
Trust. That’s what I wanted back. Trust in myself. In Beck.
I nodded. “Okay.”
And honestly, the smile alone that word got me was worth agreeing to his partnership.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Three months later
As I hung my white jacket on the hook next to the door leading out of the kitchen, I grinned as I heard the tinkle of the bell above the coffee shop door. Took a last look around the kitchen, but it was spotless. All gleaming stainless-steel worktops and shiny white tiles on the walls.
I pushed open the door into the coffee shop and there he was. With the secret smile he saved for me that showed off his dimples. My stomach did a little flip as he strode towards me. He twined our fingers together and brushed his lips against mine.
“Ready.”
I shook my head no but said, “Yes.” Beck laughed giving my hand a squeeze.
“You’ll be fine.”
Laney wandered over and gave me a hug.
“Don’t worry. This place will still be here when you get back.”
I hugged her tighter. Of course she was right, but I was going to miss The Caffeine Cave. Miss my kitchen, and the regulars who came in for my baked delights. My dream. Except it was my reality now.
“Go. Enjoy yourself.”
I let go of Laney and followed Beck out of the coffee shop. My stomach flipping again but not in a good way this time.
***
Beck led us down the aisle, my hand gripping his so tightly I was probably cutting the circulation to his fingers off. As we reached our seats, he stopped and wrapped his arm around my waist.
“It’ll be fine. I promise.”
A chaste kiss to my lips and then he pried his fingers free from mine. Clambering past the seats I dropped into the one by the window. Turning in time to see Beck stow our hand luggage. T-shirt riding up to reveal a sliver of tanned skin above the waistband of his jeans. Déjà vu washed over me, and I smiled. This time he wasn’t a stranger seated next to me, though. And this time, I knew exactly what was waiting from me—us—when we landed in Malta. When, I reminded myself. Not if.
Our seats were further back in the plane than on our first flight together, but I could still see the wing as I peered out of the window. It was all there, which was a good start. No loose panels that I could see.
Glancing over the back of the seat, I found the nearest exit then pressed my shoulders against the seat blowing out a deep breath. I could totally do this. It wouldn’t be as bad as last time when I’d done the flight alone.
Beck lowered himself into the seat next to me as I fastened my seat belt. Then he took hold of my hand.
“You doing
okay?”
“Yes.” But my hand still tightened around his. I’d be doing a lot more okay once we took off. Make that once we’d landed.
As we taxied down the runway, Beck slid an arm around my shoulders pulling me against him as much as he could with the armrest between us. His other hand still had hold of mine, and he slid our entwined hands up my thigh. His breath warmed my ear as he leaned in towards me.
“You know, I could always try and distract you if you want.”
I laughed, and Beck’s lips lifted into a smile against my skin, but I stopped his hand midway up my thigh. “As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Or that it would work in this situation.”
The plane lifted and my gaze slid towards the windows, shoulders tensing. But the wing looked fine. Well, bouncing a little more than I’d like but in one piece which was the main thing. And then we were climbing. The sprawl of the city laid out beneath us. Buzzing with life in the early afternoon light. Cars crawling along the motorway reminding me of the toy cars my brother would push around the city floor mat when we were kids. The sprawl of emerald fields giving way to the azure expanse of sea stretched out ahead as far as I could see. Until we were through the clouds and my shoulders finally dropped. Turning from the window, Beck was grinning at me.
“See. All good.”
Pouting at him I said, “You can say that once we’ve landed.” I released the stranglehold I had on his hand, and he lifted the armrest from between us. I loosened the seat belt so I had just enough room to scooch closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder.
The flight passed quicker than I expected. Quicker than my solo trip last time. Snuggled up with Beck, I listened to him tell me of all the places he wanted to show me on the trip. All the things his mum had planned for us—those he told me of with mock exasperation but secretly they were what I was looking forward to the most.
Nearly four hours and a smooth landing later, I was back in Malta. After collecting our luggage, we found Beck’s dad waiting outside for us. He greeted Beck with a hug and a back slap before wrapping his arms around me. My eyes stung at the warmth of his hug. At the difference between this trip and my last one. Not knowing what I would find the last time I’d visited. Arriving alone at the airport instead of Beck’s dad looking so happy we were there. He took my suitcase and as we stepped out of the building, I slipped my sunglasses on. Climbed into the back seat of the green Land Rover. Stared out of the tinted window as we drove through the streets heading for the coast. Passed Saint Julian’s Bay where the sea was a brilliant blue against the coastline. Passed where I’d visited the restaurant in the hopes of finding what I had thought was my biological dad. So much had happened since the day I’d found what I had thought was my real birth certificate.
