I smile. “Yes, there is a great freedom, something I treasure, but there are dangers, too. Do not undervalue what you have here: your homes, your friends, even this place and time belong to you and you to it. This is something I lack and I am beginning to understand the measure of that lack.”
“There she goes again,” Bralt says with a grin, brushing his tousled hair out of his eyes, “getting all serious and philosophical.”
“Well,” Zala adds, “what we really wanted to say was how much we enjoyed having you here and that we hope to see you again.” Impulsively, the slender blond girl steps forward and throws her arms around me.
I have only an instant to cancel my programmed reflexes to ward off contact and perhaps some tremor of backward motion manifests itself.
Zala laughed. “Oh don’t worry, Aurelia. We’ll keep your secret. We’ve known for a while that you aren’t a human.”
Shock, dismay, intelligence failure. I have been discovered and was not even aware of it. I instantly discard security consideration of eliminating the three as impractical and undesirable on many levels.
“When?” I ask as Zala releases me.
“Ah, pretty much right off,” Toldas says, scratching his head.
“And I wasn’t fooled for a minute,” Zala adds. “I mean, I’ m pretty and all, but no girl has such tiny, perfect dimensions and features. Mutant or not, your skin is far too unmarked. I mean I might have believed the big eyes, except that neither dust nor sunlight ever seem to bother you. Then there’s the blinking.”
“I blink,” I protest, miffed that they might think I am so slow as to miss so obvious a detail.
“Yep,” Toldas said, “every 4.5 seconds, like a metronome, regardless of conditions. Like you programmed it.”
Which, of course, I had.
“My bet is that you’re a new form of AI,” Toldas says, excitement making his voice high.
“Bralt thought you might be a new species of alien,” Zala snorts, “sent to make first contact with the Confederacy.”
I look at them. Little more than children, they have still easily seen through my disguises and perceived my artificial nature.
“It is not safe for you to know much about me.” They exchange looks. “But you are right. I am an android and one of a kind. I am friendly to the Confederacy and its peoples, largely through being networked with my guardian, Mazza. Now, I suppose, I must count you all as part of my network, as you know my secrets.
“I mentioned freedom before. It is truly important to me and it is why I travel in this small ship and with these companions. I have no present desire to contact the Confederate authorities. I am in one sense very, very young and wish to explore much more before I make any determinations about my future. I do not wish governments or security entities to restrict my movements.”
“Is that why it’s dangerous?” Toldas asks, eyes wide.
“In part. The greater danger may be the Guild. I have encountered them in combat, to their disaster and nearly mine. For that reason I cannot give you my real name, or rather the one I have come to own. It could endanger you. You must never discuss me where you could be overheard, or make any comment on me in any network or database that could be searched. It could endanger your lives.”
“We’re not afraid of the Guild,” Toldas says.
“Foolish,” I snap. “I am afraid of the Guild, and I am vastly more formidable than any biological.”
The boys look crestfallen. Zala’s expression tells me that I have spoken too harshly.
“We’ll be careful, Aurelia,” she says.
“I am glad that I met the three of you. You have given me a rare experience to live something like one of you for a brief but happy time. I will not forget you. Indeed if it should come to pass that it is safe for you to know me, I will recontact you.
Bralt and Toldas hug me now. Toldas’ embrace goes on for a long while, then he presses his lips to my cheek. The fact that I am nonhuman and that even my gender characteristics are assumed does not seem to concern him. The sensation is warm and peculiar. I decide I like it.
“I have to go now. Take care of yourselves and remember, keep me a secret.”
I walk away to a chorus of goodbyes and waves. Zala is crying and Bralt has an arm around her shoulder. Toldas’ shoulders sag.
What is it I feel? What name belongs to this sensation of regret and emptiness? I find I wish both to stay and to go.
Wrik is waiting at the hatch and seeing him relieves some of this unwanted complexity. I leap easily up to the hatch. He triggers the ladder retrieval.
“Turn around and wave to them one last time,” he says. His voice is unusually deep and grave. I do as he bids. The three wave frantically to me as the hatch slides closed.
“They knew, didn’t they?” Wrik says.
“Yes. The social cues of appearing as even a mutated human among humans were beyond my skill. Yet I still find that I do not want to alter myself, my basic appearance. I do not want to abandon what are now my own face and my own body. I know this is not sensible.”
Wrik seals the hatch for space. “Maybe. I don’t know that I would want to lose my face, and I have had more reason to disappear than you. Yet if I lost my face, lost what makes me who I am, could I be said to have escaped, or even survived in any meaningful sense?”
“Interesting thoughts, Wrik.”
“I’m glad you found you could make some new friends,” he says, his manner is again shy and uncertain, “even if maybe I was a little jealous about it.”
I look up at him. “Our network is permanent, Wrik. It cannot be disrupted or undone. Even though it accommodates Jaelle and even Dusko, you and I are its permanent parts. You alone know the original me. You alone found me after my 50,000 years on the asteroid. You knew me as M-7 and now as Maauro. As you said, we were each other’s first true friends in our new existences. In a sense we were reborn together. That cannot be replaced or forgotten.”
Wrik places an arm around my shoulders. “That’s good to hear. But our life together has been a dangerous one. It makes me feel better to know that should anything happen to me, you won’t be alone.”
I find the idea of a future time without Wrik disturbing. It is a fact that I have not allowed to enter my conscious mind. Even with the best of care, his kind lives barely a century and a half. “We must make every effort to preserve you, Wrik. Humans are too short-lived as it is.”
He laughs. “From your lips to God’s ears, as we say.”
I am not content to rely on the intervention of the possibly mythic biological creator. I must begin studies on how to extend and improve Wrik’s existence. I disapprove of the existence of Death in my network.
***
I headed us out to the outer edge of Stauver System, readying Stardust for the jump into the Theta hyperspace current and our new destination, Ahemait system and the new colony of Anbar. The colony was established a mere ten years before, and we hoped to offload our manufactured goods for a good rate of return on gems, metals and other natural products.
Jaelle came up to the bridge and looked over my shoulder at the flight controls. “Hey handsome, aren’t we a little off the express route?”
“Yes,” I replied. “I like to keep away from other traffic. This way, if we run into anyone, we’ll know he is likely looking for us.”
She looked at me. “You have many interesting habits.”
“I’ve spent a lot time being hunted.”
“True,” she said. “It’s left a mark on you.”
I shifted uncomfortably. Jaelle was very direct. I wasn’t sure sometimes if it was just the gulf between our species that led to some of this, or if tact was simply not her strong suit. “Guess so. Those habits have kept me alive.”
“But they also make you stare into every dark corner.”
“Maybe you
should examine those dark corners occasionally. There’s stuff in them.”
“Back to this?” she said. “I’m a rich girl and I just don’t know? I was in the field when you found me.”
“True, but by your choice, Jaelle; I never had choices. Or rather, I had one and I made it badly.”
“Which you still won’t tell me about.”
“Someday.”
“Does Maauro know?”
“No,” I lied, hoping that as good as I was at that, she wouldn’t see through me.
“That better be true, male-of-mine,” she said, tapping my shoulder.
Essentially true, I thought. I’d told Maauro when I thought I was dying and she’s sworn to secrecy and nothing in known space could make her talk.
“How long to jump?”
“Seven hours, twelve minutes.”
“I’ll have Dusko send the evening meal to our quarters,” she said.
I smiled. “Does that mean what I hope it means?”
“Let’s spend some more time together alone. I sometimes feel I hardly know you for all that our lives are now entwined.”
“There may be less to know than you think. I’m pretty much just what you see.”
“Maybe,” she said, stroking my hair, tacit apology for being so pushy before. Despite what she said, we were still just getting to know each others’ ins and outs.
***
I pass the hydroponics lab, and note that Dusko is within. Most biological spacefarers find time in normal space tedious and practice “hobbies.” Dusko is a gardener. He has spread flower pots and decorative plants through the Stardust, tending each on a nearly obsessive schedule. He is bent over a new bloom. This one is pleasing to my eye as to color and symmetry.
I walk in and he notices me. “Greetings, Maauro.”
I nod.
“Is it not beautiful?”
“Yes. What is it called?”
“We call them Ish-ihiri, a meaningless sound to you, of course. Another name is, the Tears of the Empress. Legend has it that they were the same radiant blue as her eyes.”
“An apt name,” I say. “I have never cried, nor can. Nor have I seen Wrik do so, but in the entertainment tapes I have studied it, a common enough occurrence.”
To my surprise, Dusk snips off a bloom and hands it to me. “Something for you to wear in your hair, it complements your yellow bow. Enjoy it. It will not fade for many days.”
“Why would you give me a gift?” I ask, holding the flower in my hands and wondering what is attached to it that I do not see.
“Why not? We are travelers on the same road now. I did not choose it but cannot depart from it.”
“What? Do you hold no animosity to me for destroying your network?”
He stares at me without comprehension.
“I took from you all that you had.”
“Ah. I see… network. Dua-Denlenns are not like most other species; we are solitary in emotions, even when acting in concert. No, my network was of limited concern to me. I had females for sex, of course, but no mates or children. I do resent the loss of my freedom and wealth, but I did start the fight.”
“How remarkably detached of you.”
“We reason much alike, you and I: logical and not overly burdened with emotion, following the most profitable path open to us.”
I find that I do not appreciate the comparison. “Alike? I do not believe that is so. I believe that you are plotting for advantage, seeking to ingratiate yourself with me, perhaps seeking greater access in my network. Given your criminality and cultural heritage, I cannot extend those privileges to you. I do not trust biologicals; they are too emotional and too easily manipulated.”
“Then you make no distinction between Trigardt and me.”
I pause. In a matter of emotionality, my thinking is not as linear as Dusko says. I had not followed that thread to its conclusion. I do not trust biologicals, so prone to mistake and misunderstanding, with their short lives and easily deceived senses. Even Jaelle, whom I view as an ally, I trust only within limits.
But not Wrik. When did I cease to see him as a biological? No, it is more that I have come to see him as in some way similar to myself, that we are somehow bonded in a way unique to us. He has on several occasions either rescued my existence or endangered his own frail hold on existence. What does this mean?
“You have given me,” I reply, “both a flower and many thoughts to consider.”
“Enjoy them both.” Dusko smiles his chilly smile and turns back to his flowers.
I retreat from the room, feeling that the Dua-Denlenn has passed my guard and unsettled me. In this verbal combat biologicals wage, it seems I still have things to learn.
***
The jump up the Theta current was a mid-length jump. We were nine months out of the galaxy when the current dropped us in Ahemait star system. I didn’t even need to fire the fusion torch as our entry speed was the same as when we jumped to stardrive. The routing instructions were a pleasure to work with, real Confed work and better than what we usually got on the frontier.
We caught up to the planet from behind its orbit and again only needed a minimal retro burn to achieve our orbit. The ground base detected Stardust only when we were over the settlement. Computers interrogated us instantly and we were welcomed as friendly.
“This is Mayor Dalish of Anbar settlement to SS Stardust. Welcome to our world.”
“Captain Mazza Fornite,” I replied, wondering if I would ever get used to the sound of my assumed name, “with a cargo of machined goods and tools out of Stauver. Looking for clearance to land after local dawn at your settlement.”
“Wonderful news, Captain. I assume you also have any mail and government communications as well.”
“Yes, Mayor. Stand by for auto download.” I liked delivering star mail. It came with a nice government check and made us even more welcome than we would be elsewise. “When we decide what our next destination may be, we’ll give you info for any uploads of mail that might be going our way.”
“Excellent,” he said. “Are you carrying passengers?”
“No sir, only four crew. We’re a small ship.”
“Your cargo will be most welcome. I’ll announce your arrival. I think I can guarantee you quite a crowd of traders.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Stand by for upload of landing instructions.”
“Received. Thanks, Mayor.”
“I’ll look forward to your company at dinner tonight.”
I sighed internally. This was part of trading that I still found odd, being a local celebrity just for arriving. Fortunately, Jaelle was a natural at it. Outgoing and a born trader, the Nekoan could small talk to the wee hours of the morning if it meant better trade. “My Cargo Master, Frelle and I will look forward to it. She’s Nekoan, so you may want to alert the cook.”
“I will. Never met a Nekoan before. This will be something else to look forward to. Groundbase over and out.”
“Stardust over and out,” I replied. I felt rather than heard a presence behind me. I wasn’t certain when or how I’d developed the ability to sense Maauro, and I’d kept it a secret from the others.
“Hello, Maauro.”
“A pretty world,” she responded, “so many blues and greens. What beautiful patterns the white clouds make.”
“Yes, this was quite a survey find, a very hospitable Confed A class world suitable for all species.
“Yet primarily human?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I guess we are the most prolific of the species. Denlenn and Dua-Denlenn have low birth rates, not that many colonies. The Enshari have only barely rebuilt their species after nearly going extinct. Okarans and Nekoans haven’t come this way in the galaxy. It’s mostly us and the Moroks, and they tend
to like wetter climates, places we would find oppressive. There’s actually a Morok colony here; it’s just closer to the equator. We’ll probably see some tomorrow.”
“Good; my last encounter with one was not informative.”
“Er, no, I guess it wasn’t.”
“May I sit up here and watch you land?” she asked. “I enjoy watching you perform skillfully.”
“Jaelle says the same thing.”
“Birds and the bees?”
I grinned. “Something like that.”
I lined Stardust up for entry. Dusko remained below. Jaelle came to the bridge. Maauro gave up the other seat. When Jaelle protested, she said. “I am strong enough to hang on to the takehold without dangers and can see well from there.”
After we entered high atmosphere in a good imitation of a meteor, I leveled us off and flew to the landing site. The settlement seemed to be a mix of large farms on flat plains dotted with woods and low hills leading to a typical colony site, a sheltered lakeside bay surrounded by a sprawling town of one and two-story buildings. Beyond the town lay the spacefield, merely a wide flattened field, crude by any standard, with the bones of the original colony transport lying on it, not yet fully broken down and recycled.
I looked at the girls who were staring raptly at the screen. They shared the characteristic of taking a delight in any new vista. I smiled to myself. If life could stay like it was now, that would be just fine with me.
Stardust finned down well away from any of the other aircraft on the field on a pattern of temporary lights set up for us. The landing was pretty good even by my standards.
“Drive secured,” I announced. “Planetside routine in effect.”
Jaelle smiled at Maauro. “Let’s pop the hatch and smell some fresh air.”
“You make it sound like we’ve been in space for months. It’s only been nineteen days for us,” I said.
“Yes,” Maauro said, “though for Toldas, Bralt and Zala, most of a year has passed since we left.” I thought I heard sadness in her voice.
Jaelle nodded. “It’s the nature of a spacer’s life. You not only leave people behind in distance, but in time.”
My Outcast State (The Maauro Chronicles Book 1) Page 18
