A coldness flooded through her. ‘Our marriage is over, so what I do and how I care for Josette, the daughter you never wanted, is my decision, not yours. I believe Queenie has only a small amount of savings left. Not that I care about money, only my own life and that of my daughter. I’ll happily find myself a job, as many women do these days, once I have the time and opportunity. I’ve packed your bags, so please go and collect them from your room and leave now. Goodbye, Johnny.’
‘I’m not damned well going anywhere.’
‘I’m afraid you must,’ Merryn frostily remarked and turned to open the kitchen door for him. Stepping forward, he slammed her across the head and sent her flying. As she crashed down upon the tiled floor, fear escalated through her, and seconds later he was kicking her in the back over and over again, pounding her with fury. Cramping small to desperately save herself, she let out a scream, finding blood streaming from her bruised head and face. Her mind then went blank, a haze of blackness filling her head as she fell unconscious.
THIRTY-THREE
DOCKING IN Portsmouth at dawn the next morning, Cecily reluctantly said goodbye to Boyd. He was on his way to Bournemouth to see his mother and explain where he’d been working these last several months, which he admitted he had not properly done in any of the letters he’d sent her. She wasn’t convinced they would meet up for another cruise, a strange awkwardness having developed between them, possibly because of a sense of jealousy he had and the belief she’d fooled him by saying she loved him when it was actually Louis she’d felt desperate for. Entirely wrong, but she’d been so wrapped up in concern for her mother and sister, Cecily had been unable to find the strength to convince him otherwise.
‘Let me know if I can do anything to help,’ he gently offered, much to her delight as he placed her luggage on the passenger rack. ‘And if and when you would be available for another cruise, assuming I’m free too.’
‘Thank you, that depends upon how ill Mama is and how much help Merryn needs to care for her,’ Cecily dejectedly remarked, feeling most anxious to see her own family and seriously afraid Boyd was not planning to be free to join her again. She waved goodbye when the train left for Plymouth, giving him a sweet smile, thinking she saw a flicker of sympathy in his gaze.
The journey took several hours, much longer than the one Boyd was taking. It felt good to see her beloved land, but she couldn’t bear to imagine what dreadful state Queenie could be in, tormented by the fear she might not recover. And she was so eager to see her sister and niece, hoping all was well with them. Fully aware that Merryn had been obliged to move in to care for their mother, it would be wonderful for them to be living together again if only for a little while. She would tell her all about the places they’d visited on these wonderful cruises, including the hard work involved, the love she’d found with Boyd and was now in danger of losing. She could but hope he’d come round to believing in her love for him.
When she arrived in Plymouth approaching twelve noon, Cecily took a tram to her home on Grand Parade. She dropped her suitcase in the hall and called out, ‘Surprise, surprise, I’m here, lovey!’ and went on to sing a little of ‘Dreaming of Home, Sweet Home’.
The silence following this was something of a disappointment. Was Merryn out shopping or upstairs giving lunch to Queenie and hadn’t heard her singing? Running up to her mother’s bedroom, Cecily gently pushed open the door, a grin lighting her face as she planned to sing again. Then she fell into silence, appalled at what she saw. There was no sign of Merryn, the room empty save for Queenie who was lying in bed fast asleep, her face pale and withered, looking seriously ill. Creeping over, Cecily stroked her blonde curly hair. ‘Wakey, wakey, Mama, I’m home.’ Queenie didn’t move or open her eyes, clearly locked in sleep for some reason and entirely unaware of her presence. Looking around, Cecily frowned. Where was her sister?
Slipping out quietly, she quickly glanced in Merryn’s bedroom, also empty, then hurried back downstairs to look in the kitchen, parlour and drawing room, not finding her anywhere. She again called out on her way back upstairs. ‘Where are you, Merryn lovey?’ and was astounded when she heard her niece cry out from her nursery on the top floor, possibly in response.
Dashing up the next flight of stairs, she was alarmed at the sight of Josette standing in her cot, clinging tightly to the rail. She looked very grubby, the sheet beneath her bare feet soaking wet as if she’d peed on it. Stuck in her cot, she was sobbing her heart out.
‘Oh, my little love, why are you stuck up here in the middle of the day?’
Wrapping her in a cloth, Cecily gathered her in her arms and gave her a warm cuddle, relieved when the little toddler stopped crying to slip her arms tight around her neck. Not that her darling niece would remember her, it being months since she’d last seen this lovely little girl, but she was obviously feeling in need of comfort. Now being around seventeen months, she turned her little head to look around and cried, ‘Mummy!’
‘My poor darling. I wonder where she is?’
When the little one began to cry again, Cecily gave her a kiss, noticing how she stank. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll go and look for her. First we’ll change your nappy, love.’
Her precious niece looked in a dreadful mess, her face flushed as though she’d been sobbing for some time, her entire body wet with tears and urine, and she sounded badly in need of food. Stripping her off, Cecily gave her a quick wash in the bathroom sink, not wishing to spend too much time fussing over bathing her right now when she felt the urge to search again for her sister. Once she’d found and dressed her in some clean clothes, Cecily gave her a warm hug. ‘Now we’ll go looking for your mummy, shall we, darling? After that, we’ll have some lunch.’
Looking equally eager to find her, Josette took hold of Cecily’s hand and trotted with her as she searched. Cecily investigated each room much more carefully, looking in every nook and cranny in case Merryn had suffered a fall. Being a large house with three floors, she lifted and carried the little one as they went up and down stairs, not wishing her to come to any harm. Also feeling the necessity to care for her mother, she kept popping back to Queenie’s bedroom to see if she was awake, only to find her still fast asleep, not having stirred an inch. Cecily could only assume that her mother had fallen unconscious, due to her ill state of health. It came to her as she walked endlessly around, that the house appeared to have been ransacked, many pictures, vases and other items missing, which was a puzzle. More importantly, where was her beloved sister? Finding no trace of Merryn filled her with deep concern. Had she gone to fetch a nurse or doctor? If not, where else might she be? And wherever she was, why leave her daughter behind?
Striving not to reveal the sense of fear growing within her, she gave Josette a smile. ‘Are you hungry, darling? While we wait for your mummy to come home, let’s have a bite of lunch.’ Carrying her down to the kitchen, Cecily poured her a cup of milk. Then finding some dry bread and cheese, she quickly toasted her a slice of Welsh rarebit, which she happily nibbled. Cecily couldn’t bring herself to eat anything, feeling far too distressed by her sister’s unexpected absence.
It was then that Johnny walked in, jerking with incredulity when he saw Cecily seated at the kitchen table with Josette. ‘Good heavens, what the hell are you doing here?’
‘Er, I live here and felt the need to come to see Mama. I’ve also been looking for Merryn. Where is she?’
‘Isn’t she here?’ he remarked coolly. ‘That’s odd, she’s usually with Queenie. I expect she’s gone shopping or is busy doing one of the many tasks her mother demands. Does Queenie not know where she is?’
Cecily stared at him in startled disbelief. ‘Why on earth would Merryn go out and leave her child and sick mother here all alone? She would never do such a stupid thing. Even this house is looking in something of a mess. It hasn’t by any chance been burgled?’
‘Not that I am aware of,’ he tartly commented. ‘The truth is that Merryn isn’t coping too well with all the cle
aning and work involved in caring for this house, as well as her mother, so she may well have made a mess of it.’
‘I thought Mama had employed a housekeeper or cleaner, once Nan retired to her sister’s in Bournemouth. I can’t find any of them either.’
‘Queenie has disapproved of every single one Merryn employed, always giving them the sack.’
‘That’s ridiculous. So are you saying that Merryn has to do everything herself with no assistance, and as a result is in a sorry state because of the pressure?’
He gave a sigh, turning away to boil a kettle and help himself to a cup of tea. ‘I am concerned about her state of mind. She could have gone for a walk to escape Queenie who, as you know, is not an easy woman and they do tend to disagree about what needs to be done.’
Pulling his spectacles out of his pocket, he put them on. There was something in the way he was avoiding her gaze that greatly troubled Cecily, none of this conversation quite making sense. Glancing at Josette who seemed to be watching and listening to both her father and her aunt, she gave the child a gentle smile then, picking her up, said to Johnny, ‘You may well be right. Queenie has never been easy to work for, and if Merryn is in a desperate state of mind, she may have gone for a walk. I shall take little Josette down to the beach and see if she’s there or on the Pier, both being her favourite spots. If I can’t find her, then we’ll have to call for help from the police.’
Swivelling briskly round, his expression now was one of complete desolation. ‘Actually, I doubt she will be in either of those places or easy to find. I should confess that she left last night in a fury, having stated she no longer had any wish to care for her mother. I haven’t seen her since.’
The thought of her beloved sister abandoning her child because of issues over her sick mother was too dreadful to contemplate. ‘Good Lord, why would she do such a thing? Had she quarrelled with Queenie?’
‘I’m afraid it was me she fell out with when I objected to the fact she was refusing to properly care for her mother and had given her far too many pills, which was surely a dangerous thing to do.’
She wasn’t convinced Merryn would do such a thing – it was more likely to be him who’d issued too many pills. Cecily reacted as calmly as she could. ‘Is that why Mama has been asleep all day?’
‘Obviously. It may spare her the pain she badly suffers from but was quite the wrong thing for Merryn to do. I too was upset that she no longer cared about her mother, daughter or me and declared her determination to leave, claiming to be exhausted and in need of a break, just as she once did back in France.’
‘That was for an entirely different reason. And why would she abandon her child? Are you suggesting that she has some mental issue?’
‘I am.’
‘That’s a terrifying thought,’ she murmured, and seeing a shifty expression in his eyes, felt filled with dread. ‘I must go and look for her.’
‘As you wish. God knows where she’ll have gone, certainly not to our old house as she’s fully aware our landlord plans to let it out to someone else.’
Grasping at straws in order to get away from him, Cecily said the first thing that popped into her head. ‘She could have gone to stay with one of our suffrage friends. I’ll take Josette with me, in the hope we’ll find her.’ She certainly had no wish to abandon her darling niece. There could be much more to this tale than Johnny was prepared to tell her. Leaving Queenie alone was not an easy decision, but she must go and search for her sister. ‘I’ll also call at a company I know and find someone to help care for Queenie and this house.’
‘As well as for me,’ he said, giving a dry smile.
Cecily was putting on Josette’s coat when she heard the doorbell ring. She rushed to open the front door, hoping it might be Merryn and was astonished to find Nan standing there, a suitcase in her hand. ‘Hello, my dear. The moment Boyd arrived, he told me you’d come home because Queenie is now in a worse state of ill health, so I thought I’d help to look after her.’
‘Oh, thank heaven for that. I’m so pleased to see you, Nan,’ she cried, giving her a hug.
Nan picked up Josette to give her a hug too.
Carrying her suitcase, Cecily led her into the parlour, quietly closing the door in order to guard their privacy. ‘Queenie has been asleep all day, either because she’s drunk or in a state of unconsciousness having been given too many pills. I’ve no idea what is the case. I believe the nurse will be calling in at some point this afternoon, so could carefully examine her.’
‘I’ll see that she does,’ Nan calmly remarked, as she sat on the sofa with Josette happily settling on her lap. ‘Why on earth didn’t Merryn let me know how ill Queenie was?’
‘I’m not sure, but there’s another problem too,’ Cecily whispered. ‘Possibly due to the stress Merryn has been through, she’s gone missing.’
‘Oh no, why would that happen? Where can she have gone?’
Cecily gravely shook her head. ‘I’ve no idea, but will you please look after little Josette and Queenie, while I go out and search for her?’
‘I will, dear. I’ll take great care of them both while you look for Merryn. I do so hope nothing dreadful has happened to her.’
‘So do I. Thank you so much for being here, Nan. Do go and settle in your old room on the top floor and I’ll just tell Johnny that you’ve arrived. I recommend that you do not discuss this matter with him. I’m not convinced of a word he says about Merryn running off last night in need of a break. I do not believe for one moment she would leave her darling daughter behind.’
‘Neither do I. She is a most adoring mother.’ Opening her bag, Nan pulled out a small card. ‘If you need any help from Boyd, he told me to give you this. His mother has had a telephone installed in order to get bookings from her guests. It’s quite an amazing contraption, but works wonderfully for her, so you could ring him if you need his assistance.’
‘Oh, that would be wonderful. I’m afraid I’ve no idea how long I’ll be out or how far I’ll need to search for her. Wish me luck.’
When Cecily popped into the kitchen, she was surprised to find it empty. Johnny must have returned to work, not caring about the loss of his wife, the stupid man. She wrote a note telling him of the arrival of Queenie’s dear friend, left it on the table and quickly departed to search the beach, the Pier, the Hoe, then the Barbican, where Merryn loved to visit the market and watch the fishing boats sailing in and out. Alas, she failed to find any sign of her.
After several agonising hours of searching, with dusk starting to fall, Cecily felt so alarmed and frightened that she took Nan’s advice, found a telephone box and rang Boyd. How heartening it was to hear his voice when she felt in sore need of him. She quickly explained that something mysterious had happened to Merryn. ‘She’s disappeared, heaven knows why or where. I think there’s more to it than Johnny is prepared to admit. Nan has thankfully arrived to help care for Queenie. I greatly appreciate your sending her and feel badly in need of your help too since you’re such an important part of my life. I cannot for a moment believe Merryn would willingly abandon her mother and daughter.’
‘I agree, that doesn’t make sense. You’re an important part of my life too, darling. I’ll catch the first train I can find and come to help you look for her. It might be around midnight by the time I arrive. Otherwise, early tomorrow if there’s no train available. I’ll get there as soon as I can.’
THIRTY-FOUR
ONCE SHE had spoken to Boyd, Cecily rang all the local hospitals, asking if her sister Merryn had been injured, perhaps while swimming, and was being treated there. Each receptionist or nurse she spoke to checked their files and told her they had no one of that name, suggesting she call the police if she didn’t find her soon. Agreeing that she would, Cecily hurried back home, hoping Merryn might have returned by now. Finding she was still absent as little Josette came running into her arms, she struggled to smile and quell the pit of fear she felt. After all they’d survived during that dratt
ed war, it felt dreadful to be facing yet another possible loss of her sister, whom she loved most in the entire world. As though this agony wasn’t enough to deal with, she was then confronted with the problem of her mother.
Nan told her that the nurse agreed Queenie had taken too many pills and alcohol. ‘I found a half bottle of rum under her bed and poured it away. I have also hidden the pills well out of her reach. She has now finally come round, thanks to the nurse’s assistance. I did manage to persuade her to eat a small sandwich and have a cup of tea. As I showed the nurse out, she didn’t offer any good news about the state of Queenie’s health. She sorrowfully explained that she now has a limited amount of time left.’
‘I rather thought that might be the case,’ Cecily murmured, feeling a spurt of sadness. Queenie looked quite pleased to see her and as Nan went off to take a little supper, she spent the next hour sitting with her. Having no wish to upset her by saying that Merryn was missing, she spoke about the success of the cruise tours she was involved in, Queenie happily listening to her tale. ‘I found a lovely young man who can play the piano to accompany me, and would you believe he now claims he loves me.’
Having spoken to him on the phone and heard his devoted attention to her, Cecily’s faith in their relationship had soared back up.
‘I’m so pleased to hear that, dear. I’d love to meet him. Is he good-looking and rich?’
Cecily gave a chuckle. ‘He is the former but not the latter. Does that matter, Mama?’
Giving a smile, she gently shook her head. ‘Probably not. I have always been obsessed with that, because of the fact my mother abandoned me for no good reason. I would seek love too, although I failed to properly find any. I did build my own life, which was not easy. I do hope you have a much happier one, darling.’ She then started to drift back to sleep. Filled with emotion at the tenderness she’d shown towards her, Cecily gave her a hug and a kiss, murmuring, ‘God bless you, Mama, and thank you for all the wonderful training you gave me, which has helped enormously, as well as your sympathy for my own losses. I’m sorry I failed to protect you, since I do love you so greatly.’
Girls of the Great War Page 29
