by Theo Shapiro
Part II: The New Nothing
Another day, the same old thing. Drifting through the world like a ghost; able to watch and see the interactions of others, but not participate. Watching the millions of fish go about their lives; watching the fish play, fight, love, and experience emotion.
I experience emotion as well, but no one, not even my parents, could tell me my emotions are, nor I them. We are as unreadable as a book in the middle of a moonless night.
Over and over my parents have told me this is the way of life, this is the way life is supposed to be for a jellyfish. For me to just accept it and carry out my duties in the ways mother nature and the ocean designed me for. For some reason though, I want more.
I accept the fact that I have very little control over my movements like the other creatures of the sea that zip by me do, but I still long for something to control. I understand that I am destined to float and move with the ocean currents and tide and go wherever Kanaloa, the God of the Ocean, commands.
While I look upon this inability to move about quickly and swim here and there as a handicap all the other jellyfish I know see this as a stroke of great fortune. The elders are always saying that not having to make the decision of where and when to go frees our minds to concentrate on far greater things. My question is what greater things is this?
As far as I know there are no great legends, Gods, or myths about jellyfish. Never do you hear the whispers in the depths of the ocean about the feared jellyfish, or the wise jellyfish, or the brave jellyfish, or even the scared jellyfish. Even a story of a cowardly or evil jellyfish would be something. Instead we are….well just that, we are.
I might be being a bit dramatic. We jellyfish do have a bit of control of our movements. We pulse our body to create movement and control our direction. However, much of the time we don’t bother to do that and just float along.
I remember an argument I once had with a jellyfish that drifted into town on the morning tide. At the time there was a strong ocean current and I wasn’t strong enough to move against it so I was just going along for the ride. Then, as I rode the sea like a leaf rides the wind, another jellyfish drifted up to me.
The stranger drifted beside me and said, “Hello there little one, it’s a strong current today isn’t it?”
Not in the mood for conversation I remained quiet, hoping for a change in the waters to move this stranger away, or myself, for it made no difference to me. The stranger either was not to be deterred or didn’t take the hint. “Why little one, you seem sad, whatever could be the trouble on this day?”
Sensing the fact that this jellyfish wasn’t going to stop asking questions I gave in and answered, “This particular day? Nothing is wrong this particular day, but the problem is life. I am stuck against a piece of coral and will wait for the waters to change pray I don’t get pushed into the path of a creature that will eat me or just kill me for the simple fact that my existence is as annoying to itself as it is to me.”
“That is a lot of negativity to come from such a tiny jellyfish. What could have happened to you to cause such a bleak outlook?”
“That’s the thing, nothing happened to me. Nothing ever happens to me. There is no excitement, no love, no anything. Us jellyfish just drift about until our lives are finished.”
“Wow, that’s a sad view on things. Being a jellyfish is great. We have no cares and literally just go with the flow. Do you know how many creatures would love not have any worries? Plus we have an awesome defense mechanism.”
“What, you mean our stinging tentacles? Sure they’re useful if something is dumb enough to swim into them.” This conversation went on for another hour until the ocean current started to weaken and I had enough strength to swim away. The stranger could have easily kept up with me, but by that point I had broken through his chipper attitude and had put him in a mood not much more improved than my own.
I can’t remember how long ago that was, but really what does it matter? What I said earlier, that today is another day like any other, is not entirely true. Today marks a new low in my life. I am now three months old, nearing the half-way point in my life. That’s right, the life span of a jellyfish is around six months, give or takes. Now that I am in my prime, as the elders like to say, it is time for me to reproduce.
This is something I refuse to do. Not because I don’t wish to, but because by choosing not to is one of the rare things I can control. Jellyfish could have the most impersonal reproduction in the world. Some jellyfish reproduce asexually and those that need a partner aren’t much better. To reproduce the male jellyfish releases sperm into the nearby sea and I am supposed to swim into it and let the sperm into my system to fertilize my eggs. Sad right?
That is where I draw the line. I am sick of the lack of contact and partnership. All I want is to find someone that I can spend time with; that special someone who pushes me and challenges me, that someone who angers me and frustrates me so much that somehow I care for them even more. No, I’m not trying to change our evolution and create a new way for the jellyfish to reproduce. I’m just looking for a mate that is willing to stay with me and be my significant other.
The fact that it is time for me to reproduce is no secret. Constantly I am dodging suitors who fire their sperm at me like I’m a floating target. The last male jellyfish cursed me out for denying him. It’s nothing personal against any of the other jellyfish; they’re just carrying out their nature. I am the strange one, I am the different one.
The day is almost done. I’m tired from my constant swimming, attempting to stay as far away from any other jellyfish as I can. Looking around I realize I’m not entirely sure where I am. The coral formations and ocean floor look different than my normal home. Perhaps in the past this would scare me, but today this was welcoming. A change in scenery might be good for me. It is a large ocean and there might be a group of jellyfish out there that shares my views. I doubt it, but I can dream can’t I? In fact it’s one of the only things I can do.
