They needed to talk about what had happened, to make sure they both understood neither of them were in a position to consider intimacies between them, but she couldn’t do it this morning when her mind felt woolly and her body frustratingly on edge with thwarted desire. She considered a cold shower, but that would only make her crankier.
Once she made it to the bathroom, she gulped down a glass of water and then forced her mind to go over some of the things she had to catch up on today. In no time at all she was dressed and sneaking out of her bedroom.
Except the sneaking part had been a waste of time. Kai sat fully dressed on her couch, watching some kind of morning news program and shoveling cereal into his mouth. His messy hair suggested he hadn’t showered—still, he looked too good perched on the edge of the cushions, leaning over the coffee table where he also had a plate of toast and steaming mug sitting. The idea of climbing into his lap to finish what they’d started last night flashed hot and fast through her mind.
Her lungs stalled, and she forced her mind back into work mode, trying to resist the heat rising up through her chest and neck.
“Good morning.” There, that had come out totally normal sounding.
He shot her a brief look before returning his attention to the screen.
“Morning, there’s coffee brewed if you want to grab some before you go.” His tone of voice was almost indifferent, totally at ease, as if they did this every morning and hadn’t almost gotten naked and horizontal together just a few hours before.
“Thanks.” How could he be so at ease sitting there, when she was all but floundering in her damned desires, which refused to be ignored? But she had to force them down, had to find an apathetic, but professional way of dealing with him while he was staying in her apartment, despite the inferno that had exploded between them last night.
She walked through the sitting room and found her work mug and travel lid already sitting on the counter next to the coffee pot. The sight stumped her, making her freeze in place. Elliot had never once done that for her in all the years they’d been together. It wasn’t because he didn’t care, she knew he’d loved her and he’d done plenty of other thoughtful things for her. But the smaller stuff had often escaped his notice.
Sacha took a short breath, telling herself it didn’t mean anything, and then stepped forward to fill the mug with coffee. Just as she was finishing, her med-comm beeped and vibrated.
She quickly set the coffeepot down and pulled it off her belt, just as Kai stepped into the kitchen and placed his empty bowl in the sink.
“Getting calls already?”
She scanned the screen. “It’s a bravo-orange code. They need me on the flight deck, port level alpha.”
“One of the fighter pilots has been injured?”
“That would be my guess.” She quickly snapped the lid onto her mug. “I have to go.”
She brushed past him, hurrying to the hall table where she always left her things for an easy grab on the way out.
“I’m coming.”
She glanced back at Kai as she shrugged into her coat. He was yanking his boots on, one hand braced against the arm of her couch for balance.
“You can’t. I don’t know what I’ll find up there—”
He stalked over and stopped in front of her, his expression determined and as close to his old Commander Yang persona as she’d seen him.
“I might not have a current posting, but I retain my rank and, not so long ago, this was my ship and my people. I’m coming. I won’t get in your way, but if there’s anything I can do to help, I’m not going to sit here in your apartment watching morning trash TV.”
She swallowed a sigh as she picked up her coffee again. She could refuse Kai as long and loudly as she liked, but he’d still do whatever the hell he wanted, especially when he got that look on his face. His unfailing tenacity had been one of the reasons he’d succeeded in becoming one of the UEF’s youngest commanders in history, and the same fortitude of will was probably why he’d survived the CSS Enlightening Camp and made it back to the Knox.
“Fine, but once we’re on deck I’m in charge, so you better be prepared to take my orders.”
He sent her a grin and a quick salute. “Yes, ma’am.”
Usually, she would have shot a comeback at him for that ma’am quip; instead she settled for sending him an exasperated glare, before hurrying out of her apartment.
Neither of them spoke as they made their way up into one of the top tiers of the ship that housed several levels of flight decks, plus amenities for the fighter pilot squadron and other flight-force contingents.
As they came out on port level alpha, where the majority of the fighter jets were hangared, a stream of people passed them—non-essential personnel being directed off deck as per emergency protocols. Good. If the crew were already following procedure, it made her job that much easier.
“There’s Alpha.” Kai pointed past her shoulder to where Captain Leigh Alphin, the CAFF—Captain of the Fighter Force—seemed to be in charge of organizing the deck into some kind of systematic chaos. She wasn’t sure when he’d earned the nickname Alpha. He’d had the moniker for as long as she’d known him.
She brushed by the few flight-deck personnel still milling around and hurried over to his side. Sub-Doctor Moore had beaten her there and was already in conversation with the CAFF.
“What’s the sit-rep?” she asked, coming to a stop beside them.
Alpha turned to her as he wiped at the sweat dampening his hairline. He was still in his flight jacket, though it was partway open, and beneath, his uniform shirt appeared damp. Must have been one hell of a firefight if Alpha had been on edge.
“We were on our way back from dead-watch patrol when a squadron of CSS vessels engaged us. We got all our fighter jets back on deck, but three came in on auto-retrieval. The last is just docking now; we don’t know what the status of the pilots is. The deck maintenance crew are making sure the other two V-29s are safe to approach.”
She focused her attention on Sub-Doctor Moore. “Let’s assess before we move. We’ll need easy access to those hatches as soon as the deck crew have cleared the jets.”
“I’ll get a couple of maintenance platform lifts.” Alpha signaled a nearby soldier, and then noticed Kai standing nearby, who’d stayed so silent she’d almost forgotten he’d followed her up here.
“Commander Yang!” Alpha brushed by her to grab Kai’s hand, yanking him in for a quick embrace. “Sorry I haven’t come to see you before now. It’s good to have you back.”
Kai replied, but Sacha didn’t hear it as the maintenance chief called out that the two V-29 jets already docked were clear. She rushed toward the nearest one as a couple of deck hands maneuvered a platform lift next to the ship.
Chapter Eight
Kai watched as Sacha snapped into doctor mode, climbing onto the platform lift and getting up next to the cockpit of the V-29 fighter jet as someone popped the hatch off the top.
He glanced back at Alpha, who was watching the proceedings with a grim frown.
“Did you say the CSS engaged you?”
Alpha’s expression tightened. “Close enough to the edge of the safe zone that they might as well have been inside it.”
As he processed this information, Kai rubbed a hand over the lower half of his face, and the whiskers he hadn’t found time to shave off in the last two days abraded his fingers. Things had changed dramatically in the year and a half he’d been gone.
Ever since the Valiant Knox had arrived at Ilari several years ago, they’d been systematically targeting the support bases of the CSS’s organization; things like communications, supply drops, and ammo stations. The CSS had held their lines, but never actively engaged or launched any kind of offensive.
“Since when did they go on the attack?”
Alpha shrugged one shoulder. “A few months ago, they started with random air attacks on both armed and unarmed UEF ships. McAllister reported they’d also started offens
ives on the ground. We get the feeling they’re working their way up to something big. So far none of our Command Intelligence agents have come up with anything.”
An unsettled feeling streamed through him at this news and he crossed his arms, returning his attention to where Sub-Doctor Moore had joined Sacha on the platform next to the jet, working to get the injured pilot out of the damaged aircraft.
Lieutenant Teresa Brenner, Alpha’s XO, approached, saluting both of them.
“Report?” Alpha asked shortly.
“Ace reported that Corporal Hays is deceased. He and Doctor Dalton are working on Orman, and the deck chief is clearing Dryden’s jet now.”
Alpha swore under his breath, dragging a hand across the lower half of his face. “Stay on it, Bren.”
She returned the nod before turning and heading over to the platform lift, where Sacha and Moore had gotten Orman out of the cockpit and onto a stretcher.
“Sorry, Leigh.” Kai clamped a hand on Alpha’s shoulder for a moment. Losing any man was hard, but when it was one under direct command, he knew too well the deep gouge every single one could leave on a man’s soul.
“Those CSS bastards are going to pay.” Alpha shot him a sideways glance burning with ferocity. “Though I don’t need to tell you that.”
Yeah, the idea of revenge had kept him running hot after he’d first been captured, but now it left him feeling hollow. He didn’t want to get some simple payback on those directly responsible for his imprisonment or the death of the fighter pilot here today. He wanted to systematically take apart the CSS from the top down and free the planets barely surviving in poverty under the control of the tyrannical regime. That had been the original goal of the UEF when this war started two decades ago, though no one could have guessed the conflict would end up encompassing so many worlds, or that the hostilities would go on for so many years.
Kai said, “Come on. Let’s get some food into you. There’s nothing you can do here until Sacha’s seen to your men.”
Alpha nodded tightly before the two of them turned and left the launch bay.
Neither of them spoke again until they got to the upper messdeck the pilots and other flight staff used. They’d arrived at the end of the rush of people getting breakfast before heading off to forenoon watch.
Even though he’d eaten already, Kai helped himself to a coffee and a pastry, while Alpha loaded up a plate. They sat down at a nearby empty table and Alpha used his fork to rearrange some of the food in front of him.
“I’m sorry you had to come back to the news about Elliot.” Alpha looked up at him with a grim expression. “He was a reckless son of a bitch at the best of times.”
He sent Alpha the ghost of a smile, even though mention of Elliot made guilt tighten in his chest at his current living arrangements with Elliot’s wife…not to mention the fact he’d almost had sex with her on what had once been Elliot’s couch. Yeah, that was something he didn’t want to consider too closely. He should be mourning his friend, not trying to get into his wife’s bed.
“Sacha told me how it went down.”
Alpha shook his head and looked back down at his untouched breakfast. “I tried to check in with her as often as I could once Elliot was gone, especially since you were missing as well, but that woman doesn’t make it easy. She kept insisting she was fine, even though anyone could see she wasn’t. You know, she tried to convince me that I was the one who needed grief counseling.”
Kai gave a short laugh at Alpha’s rueful look. Yeah, that was Sacha, always trying to look after everyone else and putting herself last.
“Thanks, buddy. I’m glad you were looking out for her, even if she didn’t want you to.”
Alpha nodded, then dug into his post-dead-watch meal. Neither of them attempted any more conversation, but this was exactly what he’d missed all those months—the easy companionship of sharing a few quiet minutes with a friend and not needing it to be anything more than that. Sacha might try to tell him he needed to talk things out in order to heal, and partly that was true. But hanging out with his old friends and colleagues while not talking about anything much would help get him back on stable ground as well.
Alpha was just scraping his plate clean when Bren approached, holding a coffee in one hand and a datapad in the other.
“Dryden was conscious and in pretty good shape when they got him out of the jet. Mostly it was his controls that had been shot, which was why he came in on auto-retrieval. Both he and Orman have been taken down to med-level, and Emmanuel’s waiting in your wardroom for a briefing.”
As he stood, Alpha shot Kai a grateful look. “Thanks for breakfast, want to catch up for a beer or two later?”
“Sure thing. Until someone works out what to do with me, I’m a free agent.”
Amusement crossed Alpha’s face. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
Kai sent the CAFF a short wave, watching as he and Bren left the messdeck, which was almost empty.
Now what did he do with himself? This was the first full day he’d been left to his own devices. Sacha would be on-shift for at least the next six hours, and anyone else he might want to catch up with would similarly be on duty, or sleeping if they were on night roster.
He looked down at himself, the T-shirt he’d been wearing since he was discharged yesterday looking a little on the wrinkled side. A nurse had scrounged up these clothes, so who knew where they’d come from. He needed to get some basics, before Sacha did something helpful like offer him Elliot’s clothes. That was a line he would not be crossing. Something fresh was definitely on the cards.
Unfortunately, without any money, he couldn’t buy anything on commerce level. A quick comm-call informed him that he needed to go into a branch in person with some ID to start getting the problem sorted out. At least they hadn’t told him straight out that they couldn’t help him.
On commerce level, he had to stop and check an info screen to find the bank, because he’d never actually been into the ship’s Bank of United Earth branch since he’d taken his post on the Knox nine years ago; he’d usually done all of that stuff online. Once he knew where he was going, he set off, weaving through the sparse crowd. With only the Knox’s staff to service while they were stationed at Ilari, commerce level wasn’t ever very busy.
Halfway there, a soldier wearing the ground forces uniform caught his attention—the same guy from yesterday he’d been trying to identify. Once again, a strange unsettled sensation swept through him, leaving a chill in its wake. Where did he know that soldier from? The harder he thought about it, the more it bugged him because his subconscious refused to cooperate.
The soldier moved off, and something in the way he gazed around tweaked Kai’s suspicions. He waited to see which direction the soldier was heading, and then trailed him.
This was probably the dumbest thing he’d ever done, and quite clearly having nothing to do was already getting to him, but curiosity had grabbed hold of him, and he couldn’t shake the feeling he needed to know more about the military guard who’d come up from Ilari with Cam McAllister.
Every now and then, the soldier would stop and seem to check out a shop or restaurant, before moving on again. Was he looking for someone, or just checking out commerce level to pass the time? When the soldier stopped outside of a burger joint, Kai paused, shifting closer to the window of the gift shop behind him as the soldier studied his surrounds with a perplexed look, almost as if he suspected he was being followed.
A couple of people moved into his line of vision, and Kai resisted the urge to change positions, instead waiting for the small group to move on. When they did, the front of the burger joint was clear, and the soldier nowhere to be seen.
Kai stepped out from the awning of the gift shop, scanning the thoroughfare, but couldn’t see him anywhere. He hurried over to the fast food place and scanned the few people inside, and still nothing. That icy, troubled sensation surged higher through him, but he shook his head, pushing the feelings down.
The guy had probably just been meeting up with someone for an early lunch and here Kai was, following the man around like he was some sort of agent in a cliché TV show. If Sacha saw him now, she’d either laugh her ass off or check him into the Knox’s psyche annex for evaluation.
He wasn’t going to escalate this farce by searching. Getting his finances organized was probably more important than trying to jog his memory. He checked his position, trying to work out where he’d ended up while following the soldier, and which direction he needed to go so he could find the BUE branch.
…
Sacha rubbed her aching back as she trudged into her apartment. After the excitement on flight deck this morning, she’d ended up even further behind today, and though she’d been on early shift—meaning she should have been able to come home around mid-afternoon—she’d ended up putting in an extra four hours, mostly of paperwork.
Kai was sitting in the same spot she’d seen him earlier this morning, except this time he was slouched back against the cushions with a beer in hand. Though she couldn’t see the screen of the TV from here, it sounded like he was watching some kind of sports.
“Hey.” He glanced up momentarily before returning his gaze to the screen. “Dinner is in the oven.”
“Did you cook?” she asked, continuing on toward the kitchen, where a plate and wineglass were waiting on the bench for her.
“Nah, just ordered up from the Grill. I put it on your card. I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“The Grill two nights in a row, huh? Maybe I should just run a tab there for you.” She took the containers out of the oven and found her favorite creamy pasta, with a side of warm crusty bread. As she poured a glass of wine, she tried not to think too closely about how nice it was to come home to company and dinner already waiting. Though she’d gotten used to being on her own, having someone around was definitely better.
But she couldn’t get used to it. She gave herself a stern frown and stamped down the mushy feelings. Kai would only be here a few short nights, and then it would be back to a quiet apartment and organizing her own meals. And if that left her feeling deflated and hollow…? Well, eventually she’d get over it or learn to cope, like when Elliot had died, even if the result had been merely the shadow of an existence.
Escape Velocity Page 9
