“I do. Every day, almost.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I do. I haven't. Lately, it’s been a little colder than I can tolerate plus I wake up groggier than usual because cold weather tends to do that to me.”
“I admire your resilience. What do you do at the beach? Go running?” Sam inquired.
“No, not exactly. There’s a bench near one of the towers, and I like to go there. Just sit and take in the surroundings. It helps prep me for the rest of the day. You should try it sometime, but it doesn’t have to be at the beach.” I giggled.
“Interesting. Wouldn’t have guessed but yeah I’ll try it sometime. Can we go there? That bench that you usually go to?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want.”
“We’re going to the beach anyway might as well check out this infamous spot you go to all the time.” He smiled.
“We can, but it’s not within walking distance.”
“Okay, but I’ll definitely take a rain check.”
It wasn’t too long before we arrived at the beach and found a rock wall at where the payment met the sand. We decided to stop there and sit for a while. Sam made no attempt to say anything, and neither did I. He just sat there in silence watching the waves crash, one after the other. I got the sense that something was troubling him but I did not want to ask, I didn’t want to pry so we just sat there until he broke the ice.
“Everything going great for you at the office still?”
“Yeah, it’s still great.”
“Is the work enough? I know you are way overqualified for what you are currently doing. I’m surprised you even applied, why did you?” Sam asked.
“Before I answer, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.” Sam agreed.
“If I am over qualified as you put it, why was I hired?” I asked curiously.
“A lot of reasons I suppose, but it’s primarily the reason why I asked you to walk with me. I know we hired you for the Project Coordinator position as a support role, but I’ve thought that it isn’t really an efficient use of your time. The problem is both Amy and I are so swamped we know we needed the help yet we don’t have the time to give you enough instructions to be of real use for us. I hope that makes sense.”
“It does. What I think you’re saying is that both of you are far too busy to give us guidance on how to help you enough to make a dent in things the organization has to get done.”
“Yes, exactly. Tobias is only part-time because of his classes, but he will be graduating in a few months. What I’m thinking is seeing if would want to take the full-time Coordinator role and revise your job description so we can utilize you for bigger projects. Have you take the lead on certain aspects or certain divisions and have you be responsible for those accounts. That’s if it is something you’d like to take on.” Sam explained.
“Sure, I’d be willing to, I’m just not sure how great I’d do. I’m still getting the hang of everything.”
“I’ve seen your work and the small changes you implemented beyond what was asked of you. Plus, your feedback at all of the staff meetings have been really insightful and have done wonders for us.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, they have. I know we haven’t mentioned the positive results at the staff meetings and have just been using them to dole out tasks, but I’d like to start changing that. I want all of you to feel and see what everyone’s contributions have done for the organization. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve felt like we’ve been straying away from what I envisioned all of this to be and I wanted to real it back in before it turned into something I didn’t recognize anymore.”
“I get that.”
“I still have to run it by Amy, but as you know we just launched our spirits and liquor division, and I’m going to need a lot of help with it. We have our challenge competitions coming up, distribution launch campaign assuming we land NSK, and book signings, and I could use a right-hand man. Since you have small business experience, I think you could be a tremendous help. All we would need to do is revise your job description to what it rightfully should be. What do you say?”
“Sounds great!” I said excitedly.
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, definitely.” I smiled.
“Great. So now that means, you still have to answer my question of why you applied.”
“Oh, I promised to tell you, didn’t I?”
“Yep.” That toothy grin flashed across his face. It was so endearing.
Now was my chance to tell him how I felt, it was now or never, but I didn’t want to ruin my new promotion. My mind told me to keep my mouth shut and not risk the career advancement, but my heart wanted to questions answered.
“Well, it was because of you, mostly.” My heart won this round.
“Me?”
“Yeah. A part of it was I wanted to work with a non-profit, but the other reason was that it would give me the opportunity to get to know you, even if only in a professional setting. I mean, ever since I spilled a drink on your suit at the dojo party last year, I just had to get to know you.”
“That was you? No wonder you seemed so terribly familiar.”
“Yeah and I am so sorry for ruining your suit and then running away without offering some sort of compensation. Here, let me pay for a new one…” I looked for my wallet in my purse, and he put a hand on mine to stop me.
“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to, it’s like a month’s salary.” He squeezed my hand.
“Sorry.” I winched.
“It’s alright.” He chuckled. “Oh, Jamie, you are so ridiculously apologetic. It’s cute, and all but you should stop apologizing for who you are, quirks and all.” As he continued to hold my hand, his thumb started to caress the back of mine.
I wasn’t quite sure if it was a subconscious act of his as he made no attempt acknowledging what he was doing.
“Sorry.”
“There you go again.” Sam chuckled, and he lifted a hand to my face and lifted my chin up so I could look up at him. The look in his eyes changed, they searched mine. My lips parted with a sharp intake of breath, and his gaze dropped to my mouth.
“Jamie, I…” Sam whispered. He placed his hand on the back of my neck and drew me in close and kissed me slow and tentative at first but remained gentle. A gasp escaped me, and he answered with a groan of his own. His fingers intertwined in my hair as if he was desperate to explore further.
Sam’s breathing turned ragged, and he pulled me in closer to the warmth of his body in a tight embrace. “We can’t do this,” he whispered cupping my face in his hands. His gaze returned to mine, full of regret and confusion. “Believe me, as much as I want to Jamie, we can’t do this.”
“Why not?” I stared at him, out of breath and my heart beating loudly, my body still electrified from his tough This was everything I hoped would happen and here he was saying we shouldn’t let it happen. His eyes betrayed him, they were full of desire, but he looked torn. As if he couldn’t decide what he apparently wanted and what common sense was telling him. What was it telling him?
“Because…” he whispered, his voice ragged. He kissed me harder this time around, a faint moan escaped my lips. I was weak, and I wanted so much from him. He was no longer gentle, his tongue was voracious and explored my mouth with a hungry need. With a deep groan, he pulled me close with his powerful arms, wanting to consume more.
“God help me. I need you…” He filled my mouth, finding the most delicate spots. I couldn’t hold back, and I arched into him, bringing my breasts in contact with his chest, and it caused him to give a low, guttural groan. He released me then, “We should stop. As much as I…”
“Yes?” I whisper.
“…I…we should get back, it’s getting late.”
Chapter Nine
JAMIE
“HEY SAM, can I ask you a question?” I asked as we stopped short of the office parking lot
. We had walked back in silence, both of us not knowing what to say about what took place. I could tell it was an entirely unexpected whim on his part, but it was something I had wanted for a long time. Confirmation that I could be more. I wanted to make sure before we left that all questions were answered.
“Yeah?” Sam exhaled deeply.
“Do you remember the Fourth of July Celebration last year?”
“Yes, what about it?”
“I remembered you had asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime and like go running or meet Owen,” I explained.
“Yes, that is why Owen comes with me to the office. He loves people.”
“Yeah, he’s a cute dog. I love him. Sometimes he lays under my desk on top of my feet.” I laughed.
“I’m glad he has company,” Sam said as walked to my car.
“Well, what I wanted to ask you is why I didn’t meet him sooner,” I said quickly.
“What do you mean?”
“What I meant was that you went out of your way to ask me if I wanted to meet him and then nothing, you kind of disappeared,” I said.
“I’m sorry, I’m not understanding.” Sam was confused, and I instantly regretted wondering.
“You know what, never mind. You’re right, it’s late. I should get back.” I said unlocking my car door.
Sam put his hand on mine to stop me, “No tell me.”
“What I meant was you went out of your way that night to ask me if I wanted to hang out and then nothing, you kind of disappeared. We kind of made plans and you never called.”
“Plans?” Sam said with his eyebrows raised.
“Yes. Like I said, you went out of your way and asked me if I wanted to meet him or go running, you know hang out.”
The more I explained, the more embarrassed I felt. I realized it may not have been legitimate plans back then and merely small talk. I could sense by the look in his eyes.
“You know what, never mind, I misunderstood you,” I said quickly and tried to get into my car.
“Jamie, wait.”
“No, it’s okay. I assumed you meant something more than it was.” I said not meeting his eyes as Sam grabbed me by the arm to stop me from leaving.
“Jamie, listen to me. You’re a great person…”
“Here we go. You can save it.”
“No, listen. Jamie, I think you are a wonderful person, more than I believe that you give yourself credit for. It was fun to meet someone here in this city that isn’t trying to use me to make them famous. It’s rare to find someone that I could just talk to about things that we both enjoy and not have to worry.”
“Great, I’m one of those people,” I said as I pulled my arm from his grasp. I was humiliated.
“Jamie, I like you a lot. I really do but what we did back there, shouldn’t have happened. Amy and I…”
“Oh, you two…I get it. You don’t need to tell me. Can I go now please?” I wanted to leave. He was taken after all.
“I…”
“No, Sam, it’s okay. I jumped to conclusions. It was silly of me to think that it would ever be something. You’d think by now, I would realize that people like that don’t win.”
“Jamie, that isn’t it at all…”
“No, it is. If it weren't, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’d like to get into my car now.”
****
“I am such an idiot! I should have listened to everyone. I mean I did, but I didn’t actually.” I cried to Lily.
“You couldn’t have known he was actually with her. I know in the beginning we all tried to steer you away from thinking recklessly, but from the stories you’ve told describing your interactions with Sam, I started to assume the same thing. He was more than friends with you.”
“That’s just it exactly. Sam wasn’t just friendly, he was kind and attentive. He was a good guy, and that’s all he was. He had a girlfriend this entire time. Damn it. I can’t even tell when someone is nice and when they are being interested anymore.”
“Jamie, you know he was more than nice. We all saw you two talking that night. He showed all of the classic signs – close proximity, eye contact, smiling.” Lily encouraged.
“There were no signs. You are either interested enough, or you are not. If you are interested enough, then you do something about it. He didn’t do anything about it, so he never was.”
“He did ask you to hang out, and he did make out with you last night.”
“It wasn’t premeditated, Lily. That’s the difference. It was the heat of the moment. If it were anyone else, he would have probably done the same thing. He already has someone!”
“It doesn’t have to be premeditated to mean something. He kissed you because he felt something. It’s obvious he’s battling some demons inside, and unless you know what they are, you can’t make assumptions. The best thing you can do is talk to him about it, find out what he’s battling.”
“I don’t think I can,” more tears flowed from my eyes as I collapsed onto my bed and cried into my pillows. “The worst part was seeing the look he had.
“What kind of look?”
“You know that look. When the conversation started to go downhill, he had that look of guilt. The exact second he realized I wanted more than what he wanted to give. Ugh his eyes, I saw the pity.” I sniffled.
“Oh, Jamie. It isn’t the end of the world. There will be other guys.” Lily consoled.
“No wonder Amy had been treating me the way she did. She probably sensed my interest in Sam right away. I cannot believe I left a stable job for all of this. I don’t want to face him tomorrow.”
“Oh, come on. Jamie. If you aren’t ready to talk to him about it just yet, then head to work and focus on nothing but your projects. Five o’ clock will come before you know it.” Lily smiled and gave me a big hug of reassurance.
“It’ll be a matter of time when I run into him again. My position supports the both of them at least in the interim. Once they officially promote me, I’ll be working with him only. There isn’t a way I can avoid him forever.”
“Then you will have to face him. The sooner, the better.”
“That is easy for you to say, you weren’t completely humiliated. I was so foolish to think that an attractive and wealthy guy could ever be interested in me. I mean look at me and look at where I live. What would I have to offer? Nothing. He could do so much better than me, he already did! Why did I ever think he’d choose me?”
“Jamie, don’t say that about yourself. You are an amazing person, any guy would be proud to be in your presence.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re my friend. We all know that I’m not exactly someone most guys choose when there’s always a much better option. Do you understand how that feels?”
“Jamie…” Lily sighed.
“Oh, what do you know? You’ve never had any trouble, you’re married.”
“Jamie, stop…”
“No, you’re right. I’m done. I’m sorry, I’m just done with all of it.”
****
I managed to avoid Sam for a few weeks because our schedules never coincided much and it took them a while to put the promotional paperwork into motion. He was off traveling doing interviews, promotional spots, meetings, conferences and product releases. On the rare occasion, he was in the office, I was helping Amy with training events and presentations or simply on the phone.
Sam did make attempts to communicate with me but managed to keep it professional thankfully. Most of the communication, though, went through Amy, so I was safe from him. I was getting used to not seeing him and started getting through the day the busier it got. Potential awkward situations aside, I loved working for the Foundation. Unlike, my previous job, everyone was down to earth and hardworking, and they actually cared about my career growth. I was starting to see that it was the best choice I could have made as long as I didn’t run into Sam.
As far as Amy went, it didn’t look like he had told her about what happened that night because her attitude towards me didn’t get any worse than it always was. If anything, it was a tad better probably because he wasn’t around me like he used to be.
“I’m going to head on out, Jamie. You should think about doing the same, it’s already seven.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize it was that late, Amy. Sorry, I lost track of time. I was trying to get the reports ready for our final presentation next week for NSK. It’s my first time doing something like this, and I wanted to make a good first impression. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.”
“I didn’t, Sam did. Whether you were ready or not, Sam felt we needed you on this. He seems to think highly of you and with Sam away on other important matters, we’re a man down and he believes you’ve been filling in fine.”
“Thank you so much. Do you mind if I stay a little bit longer, I have a few things to finalize, and then I’ll head home?”
“No need to thank me, thank Sam. Those were his comments, not mine. Make sure you lock up.” Amy had said before she headed out the front door.
“Okay, I will. I’ll be ready, have a good night.” I waved goodbye. I was acutely aware that Amy was still not too fond of me.
The front door began to unlock, and before I could react, Sam was standing in the doorway surprised to see me sitting here still. I’m sure he figured I had already gone home. Did he purposely return late to avoid running into me?
“Jamie? What are you still doing here, it’s late.”
“I was just finalizing a report for the NSK presentation next week. It’s my first one, and I wanted to make sure all my bases were covered. I didn’t think you’d be back in town until tomorrow.” I explained.
“I caught an earlier flight, I’m sure your report is fine. You will do well. Thank you for agreeing to assist us.”
“Thank you. I guess you are right, there isn’t much more I could do more than I’ve already done.” I said nervously. “I suppose I’ll just head home and get some rest.”
Twelve Miles (Serendipity series Book 1) Page 9
