“It’s what you do when you have a heart. Or don’t you remember what that’s like? I would give my life to protect them because if not, I would be as depraved as you.” Though she tried to prevent it, a single tear made its way down her cheek.
Gideon released her so hard she almost fell. “You’re pathetic.” His tone was laced with so much disgust the contents of her stomach rolled.
Hope dusted herself off and looked around at the men surrounding them. Gideon’s men were as soulless as him, so she didn’t expect to earn points with them either. There was no humanity left in any of them.
What Gideon said hurt her, though she had no reason to feel that way. “I may be pathetic to you, but at least I still have a heart. More than I can say for all of you.” She swung her arm around to indicate his men, then pointed at Gideon. “If this world is taken over by the cold you and your men want to spread, fine, but I will not lie down and give up.”
Gideon shook his head. “You should.”
Hope squared her shoulders. “Try to break me all you want, but I still believe people will be there for one another in the end. We’re not turning into animals. We’re turning into better humans. If you don’t have hope that there is something better around the corner, why don’t you give up?”
That dark grin he was famous for—the grin that made her insides cripple and her resolve vanish—spread. The smile that said he knew could melt the hearts of women and get them to fall at his feet if he chose.
The stories his men had told about those situations made her sick to her stomach. Watching a few of the women inside the church falling prey to his good looks as well. They believed Gideon was their savior; when what he was, was their demise. The women would do anything he wanted, and they would pay with their lives.
But not her.
She was the exception to the rule time and again.
Those eyes sparkled and her insides turned into mush. Hope held his stare. Sometimes she thought Gideon was a kindred soul, yet somehow her utter opposite.
Gideon patronized her by saying, “I know there is something better around the corner. I will make it that way.”
The words cut her like a knife. She shrunk inside herself. So often she felt belittled thanks to him, and this time was no different. Heat rushed through her, yet she had no reason to be embarrassed.
The anger that got her into trouble so many times before rushed over her, searing a path through her nerves. Hope took a step forward and he regarded her with a look, she is not thinking of defying me now, is she?
“You talk to me like I’m a child, try to humiliate me by patronizing me as if I’m dumb. Yet I see the way you, and your men too, watch me every day. I’m not scum. You are.”
Gideon’s grin gave way to a frown that held no forgiveness, telling her she was about to step over the edge and there would be no going back.
“What is it?” Hope asked. “The only way to get a hard-on is if you pretend you’re God? You’re not a God. You’re a bunch of little boys who can’t get it up.”
That was the kicker. He would have given her a chance had she let it go. Even more had she chosen not to raise her voice until everyone in the church could hear her.
When she stopped talking, the entire church crumbled into silence.
Not even his men moved. They were too shocked that someone, anyone would dare say something like that to his face. Not one of them dreamt of defying him, daring him to do something.
And something he did.
What little humanity existed inside of him vanished. What little patience he gave her, left. Gideon struck Hope so hard she cried out and fell to the ground, darkness danced across her vision.
He grabbed her by the hair and dragged her after him. Hope stumbled the entire way into the back of the church. When they reached the back room, he hurled her through the door.
The first strike wasn’t enough for him. He stepped forward and struck her again. Then grabbed her by the throat and made sure she faced him. “Do you think I won’t kill you?”
“Do it,” Hope said.
Gideon shoved her back on her butt and towered above her. He pulled his gun from the shoulder holster he always wore, and aimed it at her head. When he slid his finger over the trigger, the light reflected off the silver, casting a fatal glow.
Hope wasn’t sure if he would pull the trigger or not, but given her situation, the best thing to do was stand her ground, despite her hammering heart. She took a different path.
“I’d help you too, you know? If you were in trouble and I thought I could help? That I could save you? I would.” A small glimpse of shock passed through his face and as fast as it came on, it disappeared.
Gideon stepped forward and she scrambled backward. He smashed the butt of his gun into her temple to knock her out.
Gideon stood there, staring down at the limp form on the floor. He was furious that she got under his skin. When he left the room, he risked one last glance. Why did she continue to fight him? How much pain must he put her through to get a reaction?
He was sure the old man would break her, but it hadn’t. It’d been that way for a while, but still. Still, she showed she had something left within to kill. She stood up to him again and again. It made him angrier because he had no clue how to handle her. Nothing he tried made her back down, she didn’t react the way everyone else did.
Nobody had ever dared defy him so much. Nobody had bothered to stand up to him before Hope. So why her? Why did that woman get inside his head with every word she spoke? How did she make him believe her words?
What pissed him off the most was the truth. About saving him. She wasn’t lying to him. But why was she willing to help him and give up her life for him? Nobody was that good. Not when he hurt her on purpose again and again.
Gideon didn’t appreciate it. He didn’t appreciate that she got to him. That she made him feel incompetent. It was not possible for someone to be that good-hearted. How much more could he do to break her?
He planned on finding out.
The next night, Hope woke to the door creaking open. She pushed up to her elbows as one of the guards made his way into the room. He knelt beside her, holding a cup. Hope flinched and backed away, afraid of what he would do.
The man kept his voice low. “It’s water. Thought you could use some.”
Hope watched him with a wary eye. On what planet did one of Gideon’s guards bring her water and care about her wellbeing? Not this one. She took the cup from him and drank it down. After all, she didn’t know when she’d get more.
The guy had plans for her that didn’t include water. He was with Gideon. That defaulted him into untrustworthy territory. He had to be up to something.
“Not all of us are bad people,” he told her with a smile, trying to earn trust. Not going to happen.
“So says the man with the gun,” she said.
He glanced at the gun and then at her, keeping that perfect smile, trying to ingratiate himself into her heart. “You think ‘cause I work for Gideon, I share his line of reasoning? He gives me orders. Doesn’t mean he directs my thoughts.”
Hope snorted. “Right. So he knows nothing of this little visit, hmm? You’re doing this out of the kindness of your lack of heart?”
The man shrugged. “I’m not looking to get anything out of this, if that’s what you think. I’d be taken off guard duty if he knew.”
Hope’s attention drifted behind him to see if anyone else was there. “Then get away from me.”
The man feigned hurt. “I’m trying to offer you water. You’re being rude for no reason.”
That was it. That triggered it all. He was trying to gain sympathy and get her to let her guard down. If she apologized, then it gave him the opening to continue to play her. He wasn’t as manipulative as he assumed.
Hope scooched further away from him. “Sure, I’m being rude. And then I’m supposed to apologize so you can manipulate me a little more, which won’t happen.”
The man closed the distance and knelt too close for her comfort. “Hope, I’m trying to help. I’m not looking to get something out of it.”
Hope didn’t stop placing distance between their body’s. She inched further away. “Uh-hunh. Leave. Now.”
“You won’t make this easy, will you?” he asked, tone changing from soft to sinister.
“Not in my nature. I’m not buying your bullshit. You’re not getting whatever it is you want.”
“Hope, Hope, Hope. I can do whatever the hell I want. You’ll give it to me.” He no longer tried to be a friend, the monster took over. Hope’s back hit the wall, then as if that move triggered him, he lunged for her.
Hope launched her foot at his face, clipped his chin, and a fight ensued. It left her with a severe wound above her eye and the man bruised. He gave up the urge to rape her and left her alone.
For now.
After that, they came. One-by-one they came, bombarding her, refusing to let her sleep at night. The first few times Gideon’s men tried the friend approach like the first, then that stopped. It was always one, or two. Never winning, but always hurting her. A few times, she barely won before they backed down.
Hope didn’t sleep well after that. She slept with one eye open and always alert. Over and over Gideon’s men came, rushing into the room at different intervals, different nights, different lengths of time. Never the same in a row. Never any pattern. Always different.
Any other time and the guards who were posted at the door, didn't change. Only during that period. Sometimes they even came in the day.
Not Gideon.
It was never Gideon.
The men harassed her into a fight, then would leave her alone after she’d put up a good one. She could swear Gideon gave them a set amount of time, or amount of stress to inflict in the quest to break her. After a certain period they would stop, get up, leave. So why not him? Why didn’t he ever join in the fight if he hated her so much?
Hope saw Gideon again, weeks after. He was angry with her . . . again, over something she did. It’d been a few days since anyone had tried to rape her. Gideon still kept her separate from the rest of the prisoners, and in the back of the church.
Alone.
Hope was convinced Gideon didn’t want her underfoot. He was tired of looking at her and dealing with her, so he stayed away. They always fought when near one another, so it made sense. Other than being alone for so long, she didn’t mind it either. Every time she saw him, she wanted to claw his eyes out.
When he came into the room, Hope leapt to her feet. He stormed her way and seized her neck, slamming her back against the wall.
“Explain why I have to have this conversation with you time and again?”
Hope managed to choke out, “What . . . conversation?”
She wrapped her hand around his wrist and Gideon glanced down, but she didn’t use much effort to get him to release her. Gideon hadn’t asked her anything about how fast she healed and she didn’t want to give him ammo for it. Besides, the exhaustion left a dangerous toll on her.
“I don’t know,” he argued. “Perhaps the conversation about you remaining the fuck out of my way. Perhaps the one where I’ve told you time and time again, that you can’t tell me how to run this place. I will do as I damn well please.”
Hope grinned. “Oh . . . that one.”
With a frustrated yell, Gideon shoved her to the ground and Hope backed away. “You continue to fight for all these people,” he said, waving an arm around, “and yet they don’t care about helping you.”
There seemed to be something else going on, as though he were angry for her, rather than at her, which made no sense.
“I have hope for this world. Someone has to stand up for them. Someone has to fight for them. Even against you.”
She stood back up and Gideon grabbed her chin. “You’re not talking about the people in the church anymore.”
Hope’s eyes watered. “There is still good in this world. There are still people out there who only want to love. That’s worth living for. Otherwise why waste another breath? Love can’t be stolen. Our souls are free. Freer than people believe. There is better out there. If only they’re given a chance. Beat me all you want. Torture me. Send your men in here after me. I’ll still fight for them and their survival, someone has to.”
Gideon sighed. No matter how much he did, she would fight him. “I should kill you.”
The disregard for her in his tone caused her to shiver. She didn’t notice it. What she noticed more was the mouth that caused her so much fear. A part of her had a strong urge to kiss again, which was obnoxious. When he noticed her staring at his mouth, he clamped his fingers down until she raised her attention.
“So do it,” Hope said. “You keep saying you will, but you never do. You don’t know what I’m capable of. Only you can say whether or not I should live. My life is in your hands.”
Gideon stared for a long time at the woman in front of him. The way she talked. The things she said. He wanted to believe what she said, but was aghast at the thought. Who talked like that? How could someone have so much hope for this godforsaken world? This world was going to hell and one woman couldn’t save it, it wasn’t possible.
Not to mention she had no reason to help him and his men. After everything he put her through and she still wanted to help everyone?
Being so close to her affected him. It made him want to protect her, not hurt her, and he hated it. He hated that she made him feel anything. When Hope looked at his mouth, he found a desire to kiss her surge forth. She was beautiful. He didn’t like to admit it, even to himself, but she was. He’d been trying to break her over and over, but hadn’t succeeded. Could anything?
It occurred to him he’d been staring at her longer than he should. What drew him in? She wasn’t human, wasn’t Amaranthine. He’d never come across anyone like her. She acted like she was human, but he’d seen the way she healed. This woman was unique, special.
Why he didn’t tell anyone else was beyond him. There was always a spark in those eyes of hers when he threatened to kill her. A spark that told him he would have a hard time killing her because she couldn’t die, or it’d be hard to kill her.
Had she been around humans so much she took in the way they moved and acted? Maybe there was something under there that she had forgotten. Hope talked as though she had been around for longer, yet she looked like a young adult. She acted as though she knew people would advance to a different place and become more advanced than they were. She held many secrets and knowledge. The only way for her to know so much was if she were something far more than she let on.
“You are a fucking pain in my ass. All the time. No matter what I do to you, you keep fighting me. You never back down.”
Hope gave him a casual shrug. “I don’t give in to anyone.”
Something in him changed. It was minor, but Hope saw a flash of a different Gideon. Gideon grabbed her hand and raised her arm to turn her wrist this way and that, to study it. He lowered it back down and stared at her. She went to ask him why he did it when he wrapped his hands around her face and kissed her.
Gideon pulled away to read her response. She was reluctant to admit how much it pained her that he had pulled away. More reluctant to admit that she wanted him to kiss her. Instead of storming away, angry at her arousing him, Gideon took his mouth in hers once more and didn’t pull away.
A small whimper escaped her. Hope was desperate to fight it, but more for him not to stop. She felt things she had never felt for any man. A connection so deep that nothing could break it.
Hope risked everything with the urge to touch him, but when she reached a hand to his face, he grabbed it and held it away. Then he maneuvered their bodies to the floor, unable to stop the need from taking over this time. He wanted more from her than just a kiss.
As quick as it came on, it was over. Without a word, Gideon got up, got dressed, and headed toward the door. As he passed through, said, “You gave in,�
� then slammed the door shut. The lock engaged.
She hung her head. Hope’s tears poured down. He’d said it with utter contempt, like she hadn’t been that hard to play, but it wasn’t how he felt. He was saying it to save face. Otherwise he would have been able to look at her when he said it.
But that wasn’t what started the tears. She cried because he was right. He broke her. She gave herself to someone, utterly and completely. Everything she’d ever held back just fell into his grip so easily, with so little effort from him. The nights she spent with Scott. Never once had she given herself so freely.
It had never felt so right. With anyone.
Why him?
TWENTY
THE DAYS WORE ON and Gideon allowed Hope to leave the room. The men stopped harassing her after that and stopped trying to rape her. But then the game turned into taunting her when she was instructed to do things by Gideon. Some going so far as knocking the buckets and other items out of her hands when she passed.
Hope decided that for a while, it was better to comply with Gideon and not fight as much with his men. She still got on his last nerve, but she learned that part of the reason the men left her alone was because of him.
One day while she was trying to clean up discarded trash, one of the men came over to harass her. His arm slid around her waist and Hope tried to shove him off, cursing at him for touching her. Gideon caught the entire thing. When the man staggered and grabbed her by the hair, Gideon appeared.
“What do you think you’re doing, Steve?” Gideon asked.
“Trying to teach her a lesson, sir.” Steve pulled her head further back. “Aren’t I?”
Gideon slammed his fist into the side of Steve’s face. Steve’s grip released from Hope as he stumbled to the side and she fell forward. Gideon called to a few of the other men, “Get him out of here. She is doing what she is told. Leave her to do her work. Don’t touch her again.”
Hope of the Future Page 14
