by Lynne Graham
As soon as Lili and her nanny had settled into the town house the next day and Sander had left for the office, Tally went to her father’s hotel. Anatole treated her to sandwiches and tea in his hotel suite and from the minute she walked through the door his discomfiture was plain. He began to speak several times and then fell silent again.
‘What is it?’ Tally finally pressed.
‘I’m not very good at apologising,’ the older man admitted frankly. ‘But I got it wrong with you and Sander. I shouldn’t have interfered. I shouldn’t have used Crystal’s financial difficulties as a means of coercion.’
‘No, you shouldn’t have done,’ Tally agreed with much of his own directness.
‘Obviously, after what’s happened … this child that’s turned up,’ her father specified with a dismissive motion of his hand that made it clear that he had no desire to get any deeper into that touchy subject, ‘I wouldn’t dream of trying to hold you to the terms I insisted on. The money is gone, forget about it. Sander is determined to repay it and won’t take no for an answer. I must say he’s the only one of the Volakis tribe who has any real backbone.’
Involuntarily, Tally smiled at that compliment. ‘Yes, he’s got a lot of that.’
Anatole frowned. ‘But you should never have told him that I was responsible for your decision to return to your marriage. I expect you didn’t think it mattered after that shocking revelation about Oleia Telis and her baby was made public, but no man would deal well with such humiliating news.’
Her brow indented in surprise. ‘Sander’s never mentioned it again since I told him so I don’t think it had that big an impact on him …’
‘For a young man, accustomed to female adulation, the discovery that he owed his wife’s presence to her father’s interference would have been a shattering blow. It never occurred to me that you would tell him what I’d done,’ the older man admitted wryly. ‘That would have torpedoed any reconciliation, Tally.’
And the confidence with which he made that assurance certainly gave Tally pause for thought. At the time when she had admitted that truth, Sander had been very worked up about it, she recalled. It was possible that his silence since that day did not mean that he had simply shrugged off her admission and learned to live with it. In fact, perhaps it was her confession that she had been bribed into coming back to him that was the current biggest stumbling block in their marriage. Could that be why he was so very polite and distant?
‘I have only one awkward question to ask you,’ Tally confided. ‘Were you aware that Sander had got involved with Oleia again?’
Anatole pursed his lips. ‘No, I knew nothing of it. She left Greece to live in London, then Paris, and fell off the radar. I heard whispers about Oleia’s party lifestyle and the child only after she died.’
Before they parted, her father invited her and Sander to his fiftieth birthday party in Athens. When she studied him in surprise, he admitted that he regretted being an absent parent throughout her childhood and that he wanted to put that past behind him. Tally was warmed by that declaration and her first official invitation to his marital home and went off to keep her medical appointment in a thoughtful mood.
The pregnancy test was done very quickly and within minutes Tally was in receipt of the news she had both feared and craved. She had conceived again. She was full of joy when she knew the result but also terrified that something might go wrong again. Her GP was quick to assure her that, with her past history, she would receive an early scan. Tally, however, was already planning to make an appointment with the obstetrician she had consulted before so that she could be confident that every possible resource would be utilised to try and ensure that she gave birth to a healthy child.
On the way back to the town house, Tally took a detour to visit her mother and share her news. Crystal, who had phoned her daughter for the details in the early stages of the shower of publicity that had accompanied Lili’s arrival in London, was delighted. Her mother also informed her that she was in the running for a job as a buyer for a group of fashion boutiques owned by a friend and that she was moving into a place of her own.
‘The clothes are aimed at my age group and I know that market very well. I’m also pretty good at negotiating prices,’ Crystal pointed out with satisfaction. ‘Cross your fingers for me.’
Tally was relieved that the older woman had found somewhere else to live and she’d actually been looking for employment and thought that even if her mother didn’t get the job she had, at least, made a start on turning her life in a new direction.
‘And with a new baby on the way, you and Sander are back on track,’ her mother pronounced with satisfaction. ‘Well, that’s not a surprise.’
Tally raised a brow. ‘Isn’t it?’
‘I’m not stupid, Tally,’ her blonde mother pronounced with pride. ‘You’re mad about kids so you were sure to come round to Lili sooner rather than later. And Sander’s absolutely mad about you, so of course things were sure to work out.’
‘Sander’s mad about me?’
‘Five minutes of being single again and he can think of nothing better to do than get his wife back? That speaks for itself. I’ve never seen a couple happier than the two of you were earlier on in France.’
As she took leave of Crystal Tally nourished that thought and the joyful memories she still had of that period in her life. They had been incredibly happy together until tragedy had struck and grief brought an end to mutual understanding and tolerance, she reflected ruefully. She splayed her hand across her still-flat stomach and prayed that she would not be put through a repeat experience, that roller coaster of anticipation followed by heartbreaking loss during her first pregnancy had broken her in two. In the foyer of the block of apartments where her mother lived, she used her phone to call Sander. Unfortunately, he was in a meeting and she had to leave a message telling him that she needed to see him urgently. This time around there would be nothing apologetic about the manner in which she announced her pregnancy!
Sander entered the drawing room of their London home with all the animation of a man about to be confronted with a hangman’s noose. His lean, bronzed profile pale and taut, he levelled brilliant dark eyes on Tally. ‘My PA should’ve put your call straight through to me. What’s happened?’
A slim figure clad in grey separates, her hair framing her flushed cheekbones, Tally stood up and focused bright green eyes on her husband. ‘I’m pregnant …’
Sander could not hide his surprise because he had feared that another intention lay behind her sudden desire to speak to him, and it was one of those rare occasions when he was very relieved to appreciate that he had jumped to entirely the wrong conclusion. He crossed the room in a sudden movement that took her by surprise and wrapped both arms round her to lift her up against his lean powerful body and hug her tightly to him.
‘Wow …’ he breathed gruffly, his beautiful dark eyes alight with unconcealed satisfaction. ‘That has to be the best news I’ve ever heard!’
Tally was startled by his enthusiasm. ‘I wasn’t sure how you would feel …’
Astonished by the claim, Sander lifted his proud dark head and lowered her slowly back onto her own feet, his eyes mystified. ‘Didn’t we plan this baby together? Isn’t this what we both wanted?’
‘Well, yes, but—’
‘Are you worried about how much support I’ll be?’ Sander interrupted worriedly, gently pressing her down on the sofa and hunkering down to study her anxious face. ‘I’ll be there every step of the way this time. I’m not the same guy I was a couple of years ago. I’ve grown up, learned what I want out of life and what’s important.’
Her heart seemed to swell inside her and her throat tightened, tears prickling the backs of her eyes. ‘Is that true? Is that really, truthfully how you feel now?’
Sander gripped her hand. ‘Tally, when I got that message from you earlier, I was scared witless that you wanted me to come home so that you could tell me that you were leaving me agai
n!’
Her lashes fluttered in bemusement and then she looked at him in shock. ‘But why would you think that?’
‘Why wouldn’t I think that?’ he countered, his voice roughened by an amount of emotion he couldn’t hide. ‘You didn’t choose to come back to live with me. Your father pressured you into doing it.’
‘Oh, my goodness, you were still concerned about that,’ Tally registered uncomfortably.
In answer to that comment, Sander emitted a rueful laugh of disbelief. ‘How could I not be concerned about that?’
‘You didn’t show that you were still worried about it,’ Tally reasoned semi-accusingly.
‘I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, yineka mou. What was I going to do about it anyway? I didn’t like what you told me, but if I wanted to hang onto you I had to live with it,’ he pointed out ruefully. ‘And, make no mistake, I wanted you to stay. I also realised that even if you were only staying married to me to please your father I was still happier to have you on those terms than to lose you altogether.’
Her eyes went very wide as she absorbed that far-reaching declaration. ‘You didn’t mind?’
‘I minded a great deal,’ Sander contradicted bluntly, his strong jaw-line clenching hard. ‘I have my pride. If you didn’t want to be with me I should have told you that you were free to go. But I couldn’t face doing that. I couldn’t face losing you again.’
Fascinated by that intense speech from a guy famous for keeping it cool, Tally lifted a forefinger to trace the hard line of his compressed lips. Her curiosity was intense. ‘Couldn’t you?’
‘When you walked out on me in France after we lost our son I went to hell and back,’ Sander admitted bleakly, his expressive eyes full of the dark shadows of the past. ‘I hit the bottle hard. I felt like such a failure. You’d come through one of the worst possible experiences a woman can have and I knew I’d let you down. But I didn’t know what else I could’ve done differently because you wouldn’t let me near you and you wouldn’t talk to me either.’
Tally grimaced and leant forward to wrap both arms round him in a guilty hug. ‘I’m so sorry. I did shut you out. I think my attitude went right back to the beginning of my pregnancy when you were less than keen on the idea of becoming a father. I don’t think I ever let go of my resentment of that and I should’ve done because you did change.’
Sander vaulted upright, carrying her with him. Strong arms closed round her, he gazed down at her with strained dark eyes. ‘But not fast enough. I felt so bad about that attitude of mine after the baby died but I couldn’t alter the past.’
‘And I couldn’t forgive you for it, which was unfair,’ she whispered tearfully against his shoulder.
‘It was you who taught me to want that baby,’ he confided ruefully. ‘I wanted him because you did. It never occurred to me that anything could go wrong and when it did, I was filled with so much guilt because I had never thought of our child as a real person. You were so desperately unhappy and I couldn’t help you. That made me feel more useless than ever.’
‘Is that why you started working every hour you possibly could and avoiding me?’
Sander stared down at her troubled face with pained dark eyes. ‘You didn’t want me any more. You made that very clear. The way I saw it, I was staying out of your way, which seemed like a good idea at the time.’
‘Maybe I thought it was when I was so depressed but being lonely made everything worse,’ Tally confided chokily. ‘I was having those horrible dreams night after night …’
Sander grimaced. ‘You wouldn’t even tell me about them.’
‘Those dreams were so crazy I didn’t dare tell you what was in them. I was afraid I was losing my mind,’ she said heavily and then she told him about how she had dreamt that she was frantically searching for their baby son who had died.
Sander was appalled. ‘If only you had told me. When you moved into another bedroom I saw it as another rejection. But you were just working through the grief process. We both were, in our different ways,’ Sander proffered with a grim shake of his handsome dark head. ‘I just didn’t know what to say to you because I felt so guilty.’
‘Did Oleia make you feel better?’ Tally asked him abruptly.
Sander groaned. ‘Worse. I must show you the letter she left for me with her solicitor. She explained why she didn’t tell me about Lili.’
Tally frowned. ‘Why?’ she prompted. ‘And why did you turn to her in the first place? Was it just because she was gorgeous?’
His dark deep-set eyes flamed gold and he jerked a broad shoulder in a clumsy shrug. ‘When you walked out on our marriage it was a massive rejection and it hurt. Oleia always made it clear that she wanted me. You didn’t want me. That’s how basic her attraction was,’ he revealed, shame-faced.
That truth hurt Tally as well, since even in the tumultuous miasma of sorrow she had still wanted Sander but had not felt able to let that side of her nature loose while she was still grieving. She swallowed back the thickness in her throat. ‘And why didn’t she tell you about Lili when she realised that she was pregnant?’
‘Oleia had her pride. The morning after that night,’ Sander specified tautly, his brilliant eyes veiled, his deep voice clipped, ‘she said to me, “You’re still madly in love with your wife, aren’t you?” I couldn’t lie to her.’
Tally was flabbergasted by that response and its ramifications.
Sander winced. ‘She was right and that’s why she saw no point in telling me about Lili. It was only when she realised that her daughter had a serious skin condition that she appreciated that she had to tell me because her daughter might need her father to raise her.’
‘Let me get this straight,’ Tally breathed unevenly. ‘You’re saying you were in love with me when we were first married?’
‘But I didn’t realise just how important you were to me until you walked out,’ Sander admitted in a driven undertone. ‘After Oleia hurt me when I was a teenager I swore I would never do love again.’
‘I sort of guessed that,’ Tally confided.
‘I thought love made a man weak and vulnerable,’ Sander confessed in a raw undertone. ‘I didn’t intend to fall for you and I didn’t know I had. Somehow you became integral to my peace of mind and happiness without me ever fully appreciating it until it was too late. I couldn’t bear to live my life without you.’
‘Oh, Sander …’ Her throat clogged with tears, Tally rested slim fingers against his cheekbones to frame his lean strong face. ‘If you love me you’re never going to have to live your life without me; in fact, you’re stuck with me forever!’
‘For ever has a beautiful sound to it,’ Sander muttered thickly, his arms tightening round her ribcage so much that he was threatening to crush the breath from her body. ‘I want you for ever. But I was so shocked when I found out about Lili. I was afraid she would finish us.’
‘She could have done,’ Tally conceded tightly. ‘I had to search my soul to accept her at first but now I’m beginning to love her on her own account. She needs both of us.’
‘You’ve been so generous …’ His dark deep voice was thick with emotion and when she glanced up at him she registered that his dark golden eyes were shimmering with moisture. ‘To her, most of all,’ he continued doggedly, determined to acknowledge her kind and loving heart. ‘It’s made me love you even more and appreciate that I really did marry a very special woman. And now you’re going to have our baby, my happiness is complete …’
A big hand splayed across her concave stomach and something of his fascination and pride shone in his eloquent gaze. His enthusiasm touched her deeply and healed the last of her doubts. She blinked back tears from her eyes and wrapped her arms round his neck, grateful that in spite of the events that had been sent to try them they had miraculously found each other again and with a love that was, after it all, much deeper and stronger than before. She had let grief take her over and exclude him and it had almost cost them their marriage, for they had not
known each other well enough to surmount those obstacles. This time around they were much more aware of each other’s needs.
‘I love you so much it hurts,’ she confessed.
‘What really hurts is trying to get by without you,’ Sander contradicted with the conviction of a male who had done that and, having suffered, had no intention of returning to those dark days. ‘I may be a late developer in the love stakes but I do value you as you should be valued. I know what a wonderful find you are.’
‘But it’s very quiet in the bedroom department,’ Tally remarked, tugging his tie out and working the knot loose with helpful fingers.
Sander settled shaken eyes on her. ‘But you rejected me …’
‘That was just one little kiss.’ Tally pouted. ‘A lady always reserves the right to change her mind. I never thought you would be so easily put off. What happened to all that Volakis drive and determination?’
Sander vented a startled laugh of appreciation and a wolfish grin banished his gravity. He brought his hungry mouth down on hers in a kiss that made her toes curl and her body leap joyously back to vibrant life. ‘Let me show you, agapi mou…’
Eighteen months later, Tally strolled out onto the terrace with a tray of lemonade and feeding beakers for the children.
Sander was watching Lili ride her little red toy car round the courtyard as their son, Timon, toddled behind it, his little face stamped with that famous strain of Volakis determination.
‘We need another toy car,’ Sander forecast as both toddlers pelted across the terrace to collect beakers of juice and biscuits from Tally, ‘before they start fighting over that one.’
At almost two years old, Lili was a slightly built child with silky dark curls and big dark eyes. Tally had officially adopted her. The couple divided their time between London and their home in the South of France. In the latter’s warmer climate, Lili’s eczema had improved beyond all expectations. As she clutched her beaker the little girl rested against Tally’s knee with one hand clutching at her skirt. Prone to being a little clingy, Lili was as deeply attached to her adoptive mother as Tally was to her. Shortly before Timon was born, Tally had read the letter that Oleia had left for Sander and she had cried over the sadness of it, knowing that, some day when Lili was old enough to understand adult relationships, she would give it to her daughter to read.
