by Eve R. Hart
She slid out of my arms and fell forward, her legs still wrapped around mine and my cock still buried inside her. Her giggles turned into a fit of laughter, only slightly muffled by the sheets. I fell to the side, keeping my body locked with hers, and rested my head on the pillow. I didn’t want to leave her just yet. My body curled around hers doing my best to hold her still.
“I think your dick makes me turn crazy.” Her laughter had slowed. I chuckled against her shoulder. My lips brushed lightly over her skin, still tipped up in a smile. “I think I love your dick.”
As if she realized what she’d just said, her body froze. I knew she didn’t say that she loved me. But I couldn’t deny that hearing that word spill from her lips made something deep inside of me warm.
“Is that all you love?” The words came out of my mouth before I could process them.
She turned in my arms and looked up at me. There was a vulnerability in her eyes I had never seen before. She was scared and hesitant. Deep down I could tell there was more. She wasn’t ready and I wasn’t going to force it on her. Hell, maybe she didn’t even feel that way. That shit could have all been in my head, for all I knew. I placed a light kiss on her lips, giving her an out to answering.
“Well, that works out,” I said, smirking. “Because my dick loves your pussy. And clearly, I do too.” I slid out of her and leaned up on one arm. Her body fell so she was on her back. Her eyes looked up at me, wide, and full of something I couldn’t decipher.
I kissed down her body as I crawled backwards down the bed. I settled between her legs before she had time to register what was gone on. I licked up her slit, then sucked her clit into my mouth. I loved the way she tasted. And as Neanderthal as it might sound, I loved tasting my cum mixed in with her sweet juices. Because, fuck, as much as we were trying to fight it, she was mine. And I wanted to mark her in every way possible. Fuck, thinking about her being stuffed full of my seed made my cock stir again. But that was just going to have to wait.
“Oh, Nate, shit. I don’t think I can… Oh!” Her hands fisted my hair. Her hips moved, grinding into my face. Her moans grew louder until she came around my mouth.
I crawled back up the bed and pulled her into my arms. We stayed like that for a long time, our fingers tracing lazy lines over one another’s bodies. I didn’t want her to leave. I knew it was late and she was tired. I also knew that she was more than likely going to sneak out the moment I fell asleep. Sadness crept into my chest at the thought of not waking up to her. I couldn’t ask her to stay, as much as I wanted to. She turned in my arms and propped her chin on my chest, pulling me from my thoughts.
“What are you thinking about?” she quietly asked, leaving me to wonder if I should just tell her everything.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Reagan
We were having such an amazing night and then I had to go and ask a stupid girly question. I could tell the second the words came out of my mouth that I’d ruined things. I was mentally kicking myself. I had just had the most mind-blowing sex of my life and I had to open my stupid mouth.
He hesitated. So I knew whatever answer he was going to give me wasn’t going to be the truth about what he’s been thinking about. Not that I had a right to get pissed that he wasn’t going to share with me. I knew I hadn’t opened up to him, so what else could I expect.
“Do you like workin’ at the bar?” he asked.
I was right, he wasn’t going to tell me. I held back a sigh. I did my best to hide my disappointment. Though, I didn’t think I was ready to hear the truth. I knew we had some kind of crazy connection. It was obvious in everything. The way we looked at each other. The way our eyes would search through a room to find the others. The way our bodies reacted when we touched. But in my mind, as long as we didn’t actually acknowledge it out loud then it didn’t exist. And we wouldn’t have to do anything about it. If it led to us occasionally falling into bed like we just had, I was okay staying in the dark.
“Yeah,” I replied as I laid my head back down on his chest so he couldn’t see in my eyes how crestfallen I was. Not about the bar, I mean it wasn’t the best place to work, but it wasn’t all that bad. No, it was all from him shutting me out.
“I mean, I know that place is a shit hole. But do you like workin’ in a bar?” His question threw me. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to get at.
“I don’t mind it. I like the nightlife. People always seem different then, like you get to see another side of them. And I like talking to people.” I shrugged. His fingers ran through my hair. “Do you like owning a bar?” I felt like I needed to ask him a ridiculous question back. He let out a short, deep chuckle.
“The bar is in my name, but it’s really the clubs.”
“You didn’t answer my question, but I’ll let that slide.” My fingers traced the trail of hair that ran below his belly button. His stomach tightened for a second and his still semi-hard cock twitched. I smiled then made my way back up, following the grooves of his abs. “How long have you been part of the MC?” I was asking the safe questions.
“A little over twenty years.” His voice rumbled through his chest and vibrated through my ear. I wondered if it had anything to do with him losing his parents. I wondered if they hadn’t died would he still have sought out the club life.
My fingers ran along his side. There was a patch of skin that was puckered and rigid. I lifted up to get a closer look. Then I realized that I had never really taken the time to look at him in all his naked glory. The moon supplied enough light for me to see the raises and dips of his skin. My fingers drifted up to a spot on his shoulder. It felt like the one on his side. My eyes met his and he was studying my face closely.
“Are these club related?” I saw something change in his expression. I brought my hand up to the scar on his eyebrow and lightly traced over it.
“Yes,” he said in a flat tone. “Things used to be different. Not much then they are now. But still, there was more.”
I nodded. I got what he was saying without him actually saying it. I understood I was an outsider and I wasn’t supposed to know club stuff. He reached up and took my hand as I rubbed over the scar. He moved our hands down to the one on his side.
“This one I got ‘cause I was young and stupid and trying to prove myself.” He didn’t elaborate. I had a hard time picturing him young and stupid. He moved our fingers to the one over his shoulder. I knew that was a bullet wound. The one on his side I couldn’t tell. It could have been from a knife, but I wasn’t about to ask. “This one I got saving Cal’s life. Was made VP not long after that.” I leaned over and kissed the spot. I had no idea what compelled me to.
“This one?” I said moving my fingers back to his brow. The lines in his forehead deepened.
“Bar fight,” he said. I laughed. I knew there was more to that story.
“You? In a bar fight? Oh, come on. Tell me. Did you break a pool stick over your knee and go after some big guy over a girl.” My tone was joking and light. His lips twitched and my jaw fell open.
“Now, why would you think I’m the one who started it?” he joked back.
“Because you are such a dangerous bad boy.” I ran my fingers down his chest and gave him my best mocking flirty eyes. “Though, the thought of you breaking a pool stick over your knee is kind of a hot image.” He laughed at me. I realized when he let go a little it was the most beautiful thing to witness. His laugh was deep, yet light. I wanted to hear it on replay for the rest of my life.
“For you, I would.” He pulled me down and kissed me before I could respond. When he broke the kiss I was breathless and dizzy. My eyes fluttered open looking directly into his. I felt him hardening against my hip. I let out a little giggle as I reached down and stroked him.
“Just can’t get enough, can you?” I asked. I kissed him as I straddled his body. I needed one more taste. With Nate, it never seemed like it was enough for me and I didn’t know when this would happen again. Tomorrow our walls would be all the way b
ack up.
“Not when it’s you, no,” he said breaking the kiss. “I always want to be buried deep inside of you. And you know how long it’s been since the last time. Guess we should make up for that.” I kissed his neck, loving the feeling of the scruff from his jaw rubbing against my cheek.
“I know I’m not your only option.” I was pushing it, but curiosity could be a nagging bitch. He cupped my face and forced me to look him in the eyes.
“Ever since I fuckin’ saw you that first day, you have been my only option.” No falter in his tone. Not a trace of deceit in his eyes. He was telling those words to my soul. My insides gushed with warmth and I had to hold back a smile. I was about to break down. I was about to tell him everything. How I felt. How I constantly was thinking of him. How I wanted nothing more than to spend every moment in his strong and warm arms. How I loved him like I’d never loved anyone before.
Instead of saying anything, I slowly sank down on him. He let out a harsh breath when I was fully seated. I decided I was going to give it to him hard and fast. Our gaze never broke as I rode him with everything I had left in me. I felt my climax building up in no time. He throbbed inside of me and I could tell he was close. He grabbed my hips and met my thrusts harder and faster. I tightened around him, screaming out his name and clawing at his chest. Seconds later he filled me again, my name spilling from his lips in a guttural roar.
He pulled the covers back before rolling us to the side. Once we were settled, with my nose nuzzled in his neck, he pulled the sheet over us then held his arms tight around me. Not long after that, his breathing became even. I slid out of his embrace, his fingers twitched as if he was trying to hold onto me. I dressed silently, then made my way back to Nan’s. I felt bad about leaving. I wanted to stay there until the next day greeted us, but I knew this was for the best. I sighed as I settled into my bed. My body wonderfully sore all over. I soon drifted off to sleep. My last thoughts were of Nate.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Loch
Bocca was hitting walls everywhere. He couldn’t find anything else on Lance or Reagan’s roommate. Things with the club took priority and he was doing all he could to find out who was behind the attack.
The Dogs of Wrath were still nowhere to be found. Things were tense among the brothers. All the chapters were staying put in their home towns. The guns we had were locked up tight in the model home basement. It was the safest place we had that wasn’t tied to the club. No one would suspect that they were there. And it wasn’t like anyone was actually going to look at that place. Most who were going to buy a house on the rich side of town knew what they wanted. Having a town full of locals had its perks. Besides, if it did need to be shown we would get a heads up. So, for now, things were safe. But the club wasn’t and we didn’t know how long it would go on. We needed some kind of insight as to what was happening. We needed to know who we were up against.
With the Dogs down there would be no more runs for a while. We were feeling the heat from the MCs that we dealt with throughout the country. As far as we were concerned, we were shut down for the time being. The safest place for us all was close to shelter. And that was the clubhouse. We still weren’t on a lockdown, but most of us chose to stay around the clubhouse when we weren’t working. We all had rooms there. They were small, but we’d manage. The ones with old ladies stayed at home watching over their families. That was their right. Until a permanent lockdown was in place, families stayed put.
We kept the bar going. Reagan and Chris continued to run things. I dropped by every now and then. I used the excuse of needed to do office shit, but the truth was that I just wanted to see Reagan. I wanted to breathe in her smell and touch her soft skin. I was pretty sure I wasn’t as sly as I hoped to be, but she never let on that she was aware of it. Sometimes the air was so charged around us that I almost dragged her back to the office like a damn cave man. I craved to be near her and more so, to be inside her.
Things with her seemed simple from the outside. We would come together when the need became too much. Then we would go our separate ways. Well, the reality of it was, I would stay and she would sneak off. But if you looked at it from the outside, I guess you could have said that I let her go.
I made my way out to the kitchen. The club girls had been doing a good job of keeping us fed and the place cleaned. There were fresh eggs, bacon, and biscuits. The smell of it made my mouth water. I filled up a plate and sat down at one of the long tables. I was up early and most everyone was still sleeping. The place was dead quiet outside my door when I cracked my eyes open half an hour ago.
As I was shoveling eggs into my mouth, the side door off the kitchen opened. In walked a very tired looking Jessica. She gave me a friendly nod before going and making herself a plate. Sitting down across from me, she took a long sip of her coffee.
“You and Axe off again?” I asked not giving a shit about beating around the bush. I liked to stay on top of things that were going on with the club. Even down to what was going on with the girls.
The thing with Jessica and Axe was always up and down, but it never brought drama. So we let it be. Sure some of the guys got a little pissy when there was one less girl to pass around. But they knew well enough that in a few weeks she would be free again. She was the best of them, and I didn’t even blame Axe for laying his keep on her every now and then. I think both of them wanted it to work, but deep down both of them knew it would never last. She was one of the good ones. She didn’t keep in with the rest of the mean girls, as I saw them. She kept her business private and she knew her place. On top of that, she kept things going around the compound. She was the queen bee among the club girls and she knew how to keep them in line for the most part. I had no doubt that someday one of these fuckers would wise up and make her an old lady. And she would be an amazing one. But for now, she seemed happy just being a part of the club.
“Yeah,” she replied with a nonchalant shrug. I breathed a little sigh of relief. Sure she was good at keeping it cool, but with women, sometimes you never knew what would set them off. “Why? Is there something I can help you out with?” And just like that, she was back to it. I cracked a small smile.
“I’m good, darlin’.” It wasn’t lost on me that I had no interest. She was the number one in my book among the club girls, but nothing inside me sparked at all. I knew it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Reagan.
“Ahhh, so the rumors are true.” She gave me a soft smile. Her feelings weren’t hurt and she seemed genuinely happy for me. I was glad, the last thing I would want to do was to make her feel unwanted in any way. By her tone, I could tell she wasn’t trying to be a gossip queen.
“Have no idea what’s floatin’ around the rumor mill, so I can’t tell you if it’s true or not.” She narrowed her eyes at me letting me know she wasn’t stupid. I let out a short laugh.
“This girl, she make you think about things beyond this club?”
Her question made me pause. I wasn’t sure how to answer. I had spent too much time trying not to figure out how I felt about Reagan. Trying not to want for more than I thought she wanted to give.
Truth was, I did want more. I wanted Reagan to be by my side. And I’d found myself wondering how it would be to have something other than the club in my life. Not saying I wanted to give up the MC all together, just have something more. I knew if I opened my mouth it would unlock a box I wasn’t ready to open.
“Loch, I’ve been around you long enough to know you. If she’s got you turning down your girl of choice then she’s got you by the heart… or balls rather.” She raised a brow at me in a playful manner.
I let out a laugh. Maybe it was true. I was glad Jessica kept this conversation light with such a heavy subject. She said her piece and was going to leave me to ponder shit. She was well aware of the fucking hurricane she’d just unleashed in my head, but she wasn’t going to help me figure it out.
We ate our food in silence. I found myself thinking about just ho
w great Jessica was. I definitely didn’t feel the way about her as I did about Reagan. At the same time, Jessica knew how club life was. She knew the ins and outs of how things went. She knew not to ask questions and to do as she was told. She knew when to be there and when to back off. I wished things would work out for her. Maybe with Axe, but I knew they were too much of the same person to ever last. Hell, they had given it more than enough chances to work.
I could tell she was as lost in thoughts as much as I was. I struggled to think of something to say to her. I wasn’t good with women and emotional shit. I blamed it on the fact that I’d never really taken the time to learn the language of that stuff. After my parents died, part of me died too. A big part. I closed off my emotions and didn’t look back. I was a good listener, and I guessed the best thing I could do was to ask.
“You okay?” I croaked out feeling a tad bit nervous. She blinked as if I had brought her back to reality. A smile spread across her face but it didn’t reach her eyes. I knew then whatever it was she was going to keep that shit to herself.
“Yeah. Still waking up, I guess.”
“You know if you ever need anything we’re here for you?” My tone was stern, I meant that shit. She had been there for the club in more way than I could count over the years. One thing we held high on the list was that we took care of our own. And in my book, that included making sure making sure she was okay.
“I know, Loch. Thanks.” She patted my hand and stood up. She cleared her plate and mine, then walked out of the room.
I remained there long after she left, lost in thoughts of Reagan. Part of me wanted to man the fuck up and claim Reagan. Part of me knew that wasn’t the way to go with her. It was a struggle I didn’t know how to deal with. I wanted to protect her and when I tired she pushed back. She had a damn independent streak a mile long. It wasn’t something I was used to dealing with. In my world, and the way I was raised, a man took care of his woman. I didn’t know what to do with one that wanted to take care of herself. The best option I could come up with was to keep things the way they had been. But I knew it wasn’t going to make me happy in the end. Baby steps weren’t my thing, and I was getting tired of holding back.
