by Iona Rose
Brooke sat next to me but for all the distance that had sprouted between us, she might as well have been in Timbuktu.
Chapter Seventeen
Brooke
I stood at the living room window and watched as Blaze sprinted down the steps and headed for the waiting Uber. He opened the door and then looked up at my apartment.
My breath hitched.
Was he thinking of grabbing his suitcase and coming in? Maybe telling the Uber guy he was getting off at my address as well. I wanted it so bad. I was at my weakest point.
I’d held it together throughout the flight and on the ride home. But now, my strength was gone. I wanted Blaze and I didn’t care for the consequences. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest as he slid into the car and banged the door shut.
Tears streamed down my face as the Uber drove off, taking Blaze away from my life. I sat down heavily on the bed and buried my head in my hands. The sobs came loud and hard, ripping me apart with their intensity.
I cried like someone who had lost something special when in reality—I had been saved from heartbreak. It would be better to hurt now than later, when humiliation would be added to the heartbreak.
Okay, I told myself later, time to put on my big girl panties. Time to move on with my life, so I got up, opened my suitcase, and began to unpack. The walk-in closet which had given me so much pleasure when we were renovating the house, barely moved my feelings.
I hung the clean clothes I hadn’t worn in Hawaii and carried the dirty ones to the laundry room. Before throwing them in the washing machine, I held them to my face and sniffed them. They smelled of sunshine, sand and water.
Longing tugged at my heartstrings. But it was pointless to keep going over the memories of Hawaii and what might have been. Being alone was the reality of my life.
My ringing phone pulled me from my thoughts and I frantically searched for it, finally finding it on the couch. Disappointment flooded me, quickly followed by guilt when I glanced at the screen and saw Jenny’s number.
Jenny was my closest friend and like Blaze, we had known each other since kindergarten. Our houses had been next door to each other and though we’d attended different schools, we spent all our free time in each other’s homes.
She’d gotten married to Henry, a rich dude who owned a hedge fund and he seemed as stuffy as his name sounded. A lot older than us, he was a divorcee with grown kids. I suppose that had been one of the reasons why he and Jenny never had kids.
A raw deal for her if you asked me.
I’d never really hit it off with him but it didn’t matter as long as Jenny was happy. Even if she was a full-time housewife, we rarely saw each other but we caught up over the phone. Like me, Jenny was a qualified accountant and I’d always wondered how she had so easily traded a career to be a housewife.
She did the whole rich idle wife thing. She lunched at the club, shopped in designer boutiques and took like ten vacations a year. She seemed to like it and if she was happy, that was all that mattered.
“Hi Jenny,” I greeted her.
Her laugh came over the phone. “That’s exactly the tone I expected to hear from someone who had just come from a vacation that she didn’t want to go on.”
I laughed. “It turned out to be awesome.”
“I want to hear all about it,” Jenny said. “I’m on my way.” She disconnected.
I was surprisingly pleased. I felt glad for some company. She’d seen the new apartment, though she’d thought it a bad idea to buy a place with someone I had feelings for. Jenny was the only one who knew my secret but I’d told her laughingly, like it meant nothing.
Fifteen minutes later and my doorbell rang.
I flung the door open and we threw our arms around each other.
“You look thinner,” I said with a frown as I inspected her.
It had been a couple of weeks since we’d seen each other. She had lines under her eyes and I assumed they were from lack of adequate sleep. She partied too much but then again, she could as she had no kids or other responsibilities. Her job as Henry’s wife was to look pretty and run their house in the suburbs. And even that wasn’t exactly taxing. They had a chef and a housekeeper.
“And you’re glowing. Love your tan,” she said, holding my hands.
“Thanks,” I said bravely. “Come on in. We can sit on the deck and gaze at the woods.”
“Sounds perfect,” Jenny said.
We made some coffee and carried our mugs to the newly constructed deck. It had a wooden ladder that went all the way up to the balcony. I loved it.
“Tell me everything,” Jenny said when we sat down at the table, our chairs facing each other. “How was it? Did you give in to temptation?”
“You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” I said in a dry tone.
“Never found any use for it,” she replied.
“Are you holding onto something?” I asked teasing her.
Her eyes widened and she placed her mug on the table and covered her mouth. “No, you didn’t?”
I giggled at the expression on her face. “I did.”
“You and Blaze had sex?” She pushed strands of her gorgeous blonde hair away from her face.
I told her everything from the moment when we landed in Hawaii to the glorious days we had spent devouring each other.
“Oh, my goodness,” Jenny said and thoughtfully sipped at her coffee. “How can you be so sure that it won’t work?”
“Because I know Blaze. You do too. You know how he is. Women are like a candy jar to him. He has to sample all of them.”
“Was he interested in other women in Hawaii?” she said.
“No, but that’s because we were having sex and I was a new flavor.”
“You seem very sure of yourself Brooke but people are not all they seem to be,” Jenny said in a voice filled with sadness.
Something was wrong. I leaned over the table. “Are you okay?”
She waved a hand dismissively. “I’ll tell you another time. Today, it’s all about you.”
“I need a distraction from me,” I said. “Besides, I’m worried now. Is Henry okay? He’s not sick or anything is he?”
She let out a bitter laugh. An un-Jenny laugh. “Unless you count being caught cheating a sickness.”
It was my turn to be shocked. “No.” I looked away from Jenny’s anguished face and tried to picture Henry cheating. Why would any man cheat on Jenny, an older man at that? Henry had to be in his fifties. Jenny was a catch to any man, let alone one who was so much older than her.
“Yes. I found a jewelry receipt in his pocket. A piece of jewelry that he hadn’t given me. I hired a private investigator.”
It was getting weirder by the minute. “You hired a PI?”
Jenny bordered on being naïve so the idea of her hiring a private investigator struck me as ludicrous.
“I had to. How else was I going to prove that he was cheating on me,” she said as she wiped a tear from her eye.
“I’m so sorry,” I said as I draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.
She sniffled. “There’s something I never told you. He cheated on his wife with me but I didn’t know until later.” Her pain was drawn on her face as well as evident in every word she spoke. As soon as she wiped her eyes dry, more tears formed.
There were no words to make her feel better. If you loved someone as much as Jenny loved Henry and they cheated on you, no words existed to ease the pain.
“What are you going to do?” I asked her as we drank our third cup of coffee.
“I don’t know to be honest. I just don’t know,” she said. “Cheer me up. Let’s talk about Blaze. How was the sex?”
I laughed. “Cut right to the chase, huh? It was out of this world.” I’m not a kiss and tell kind of girl but I’d do it to entertain Jenny. She needed it. We talked about the details like teenage girls.
“What are you going to do about this project?” she asked.
“It�
�s up to Blaze I guess,” I said. I had worried about that. What if he said he wanted us to sell the house and split the proceeds?
There was no way I could afford to buy him out. Sleeping with him had been a mistake and yet it hadn’t been. This conclusion didn’t even make sense but it was exactly how I felt.
Later, after Jenny had left, I felt emotionally wrung out as if I had gone through the experience with her. All along, I’d imagined it being Blaze, and how distraught I would be.
As I pulled the covers snugly around my shoulders, I knew I had made the right decision. I had saved myself from a broken heart. It hurt to know our short affair was over, but I felt no regrets over the decision I had made.
I felt the way I had on my first day at work two years ago. Blaze and I hadn’t spoken or exchanged a text message since our return from Hawaii. I stood outside the office building trying to talk myself into taking the steps to get me inside the building.
I inspected my outfit again. A black pencil skirt paired with a blouse that could be described as a little too sexy for the office.
“Morning Brooke,” Susan said from behind me. She worked in sales and was a horrible gossip. “How was the wedding? We’re all dying to hear if you hooked up with some sexy man in Hawaii.”
I plastered a smile on my face and followed her in. “No, I just enjoyed the beaches and the night life.” Half-truth.
“Not surprised. The way Blaze hovers around you, I’d be surprised if you managed to hook up with someone,” she said and then stopped to look at me. “Wait. How come you’ve never been interested in Blaze?”
I inhaled deeply. “I told you ages ago. Blaze and I are friends. Been friends for decades.”
She leaned towards me and whispered into my ear even though it was just the two of us in the elevator, “I don’t buy that. I think you like girls.”
“Maybe,” I said mysteriously just as the elevator came to a grinding halt. I glided out with a huge smile on my face, pleased I had given Susan a nice juicy bone to chew on throughout the day.
I hurried down the hallway to the accounts offices and only breathed again when I was safely inside. I had a small corner office I loved for the privacy it gave me. It felt good to be back at work. Before I had even sat down, a knock came at the door.
Probably Blaze. He got to the office first and was often the last one to leave, when we weren’t going out for drinks. My heart hammered hard. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face him, but it had to happen at some point, right?
“Come in,” I said and sat down.
I looked at the door expectant and stared at Mason.
He strolled in and shut the door. Mason was my boss and had been hitting on me for years. I handled it by ignoring him and he usually got tired or distracted by someone else, then he’d leave me alone. “Look at you,” he said, his eyes dropping to my cleavage.
I wished I’d picked a more conservative outfit but I had dressed with Blaze in mind, not Mason. It felt as if ants were crawling over my chest as he leered at me. I fought the urge to cover my exposed skin with my hand.
In Hawaii, Blaze had looked at me the same way. Hungrily, his eyes grazing over my cleavage. But Blaze had turned me on with his obvious desire for me while Mason made me feel dirty.
“Were you tanning in the nude? Boy, what I wouldn’t have given to see that,” he said.
“Hello Mason,” I said crisply. “Thank you for a nice welcome back.”
He came around my desk and sat at the edge.
I slid my chair further away. My chair hit the end of the desk and I had nowhere else to go. I told myself to stop being silly. Mason made me uncomfortable and even frightened me sometimes but he wouldn’t do anything to me in an office full of people.
His hand shot out and he caressed my neck.
I cringed but stayed still. I knew the stuff he did bordered on sexual harassment but I’d been hoping by now, he would have quit. It seemed as if my absence had made him bolder. I’d never told anyone about it, not even Blaze.
Especially not Blaze.
He’d gotten me the job when I’d been pretty desperate, another reason why I hadn’t said anything. I needed the job, particularly now with my savings depleted. “How can I help you?” I asked, hoping to remind him that ours was a professional relationship.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Do you mean that?” He moved his gaze to his pants.
Unconsciously my gaze followed his. To my utter disgust, he sported a hard on and I almost gagged on my own saliva. Nausea rose up my throat. “I’m talking about work Mason.” I gritted my teeth.
A knock came on the door and Mason bolted up as if he’d been shot in the ass.
“Come in,” I said.
The door swung open and Blaze strolled in.
My heart skipped a beat. I hadn’t seen him in three days but it felt like three years.
“Morning Mason,” Blaze said.
“Good morning,” Mason said and then moved out the door.
“Are you okay?” Blaze asked me while frowning.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I said, my mouth dry. It was only Blaze, why did I feel so nervous?
My gaze dropped from his eyes to his mouth. I recalled how it felt to capture his lower lip between my teeth. Heat enveloped my whole body as floodgates of lust opened. Every part of his body reminded me of something we had done. His big, strong hands gently caressing my breasts, my thighs and his tongue… a gush of wetness dampened my pussy and I squirmed in my chair.
He pulled a chair out and sat down facing me. He looked tired.
My heart squeezed in my chest. Every part of me ached to hold him, to comfort him. I swallowed excess saliva and reminded myself that Blaze’s reaction was expected. I would bet I was the first woman who had ever broken up an affair with him. Blaze was used to doing the dumping. The knowledge did not ease the pain in my chest.
The atmosphere in my office grew heated as we stared at each other.
His gaze dropped to my lips.
All the air left my lungs. I ached with sadness as I looked at him.
He stared back at me with the same look of utter helplessness. He cleared his throat. “How are you?” Blaze asked.
I’m not fine.
I miss you.
I miss your kisses, your strong arms around me, your scent.
I miss waking up with your heavy arm draped across my belly.
I miss you making love to me, making me scream, making me mad with desire.
I miss you with all of my being.
“I’m all right, thank you,” I said. “And you?”
He held my gaze. “I miss you and I want you back. I don—”
“Blaze,” I said, interrupting him. “Please stop. We made an agreement. I don’t want to talk about it again.” I hated the tone I used but it wasn’t fair of Blaze to do this to me.
“Fine,” he said. “Can we talk about the house?”
My heart dropped to my toes. Owning a home meant so much to me but I couldn’t blame Blaze if he wanted to get as far away from me as possible.
“Buying that townhouse with you is the most important thing I’ve done in all of my life,” he said. “I don’t want to lose that. But if you want us to sell it…”
Relief flooded me. I was so happy tears filled my eyes. I’d become an emotional basket case. “No, let’s not sell it. I love having a home and besides, we each have our apartments.”
He looked relieved too. “Good. I’ll come by later to do some work.”
“Okay,” I said softly and watched him leave my office.
Chapter Eighteen
Blaze
As I stripped off the faded wallpaper, my ears were cocked for sounds coming from downstairs. It was quiet even though I knew Brooke was home. Damn… I’d never missed anyone as much as I missed her.
I got distracted by a patch of wallpaper that just wouldn’t come off. As I was scraping at it, I heard the sound of a door opening. My heart leapt. I turned to the door.
Brooke walked in wearing an adorable pair of overalls. She stopped at the doorway and grinned. “I’m ready for work.”
A picture of us together, tangled in the sheets sprung to my mind. My hands on her curves and my mouth trailing kisses on her skin. Cupping her full beautiful breasts and bringing my mouth to her nipples. Sucking them just the way she liked. Her whimper telling me she was close to coming.
“Blaze?” she said,
Her voice jerked me back to the present. “Sorry,” I mumbled, embarrassed at my filthy thoughts.
“Can I help with that?” she asked and scrunched her sweet nub of a nose.
“We need some hot water for the bits that are stuck,” I said.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll go heat some downstairs.”
I ogled after her as she turned to walk away. I exhaled deeply. Was this how it would always be? Lusting after Brooke whenever we were in the same space?
She returned five minutes later, carrying a sprayer.
“Smart girl,” I said. As she handed me the sprayer, our fingers touched and sparks flew, reminding me of the amazing physical chemistry between us.
Removing wallpaper was filthy work and as much as it felt good having Brooke with me, I didn’t want her to do it. I saturated the walls with hot water and the adhesive glue melted away in the spots where it had been stuck.
“Do you have another putty knife?” Brooke asked.
“Yeah, but this is dirty work Brooke. Let me do it,” I said.
“I’m fine.” She shrugged. “Besides, I’ll feel like crap, sitting downstairs enjoying the sunset while you’re here slaving away.”
“You could make us some dinner to make up for it,” I said without thinking. I thought she would say no.
“Deal,” she said. “I removed some steaks for dinner.”
My mouth watered. But not for the steaks. After she left, I whistled as I worked. I thought about my conversation with Jack this afternoon. He and Amelia were still on their honeymoon. They’d gone to Maui for their honeymoon and he’d called to touch base. He’d asked about Brooke and how our relationship was going. I brought him up to date and told him it was over for us. And how Brooke had wanted it that way.
