by Abby Ayles
“Well then, I expect I will see much of him, as I plan to see much of you,” he said, penetrating her with his soft eyes.
Lady Abigail instinctively looked down at her hands as a rosy color came to her cheek. Heshing dipped his head low to keep her gaze.
“Lady Abigail, I mean to ask you,” he started in a soft whisper.
“Heshing!” Miss Mary called from across the blanket. “Stop your incessant whispering in Lady Abigail’s ear so we may all play a little game.”
He gave a huff of frustration at being interrupted when he was, no doubt, about to say something of great importance. Nonetheless, ever the gentleman, he turned to Miss Mary and inquired about the game she had planned for them to play.
“Two truths and one lie,” she informed the two interlopers, who were apparently the only ones not already aware of this plan.
Lady Abigail spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the silly game as each participant took their turn to tell two truths and a lie while the others guessed which one was the falsehood.
She enjoyed the time she spent with Heshing and this little group of acquaintances. It was with sadness, however, that she couldn't call them more than just that. They were all fun to have around for a good game such as this, but there was no depth to any friendship on that blanket they shared.
If there was a moment that Lady Abigail was in great need, she couldn’t honestly say that she would turn to any of these lords or ladies. Instead, she would turn to the duke and duchess, her family, like Lady Fortuna, or even, she was surprised to admit, the Earl of Gilchrist and his family.
It made her wonder if her time spent here with these simple diversions was really worth it. It was something she had never thought to ask herself before.
Until that moment, she had planned her life just as any other lady might. She would enjoy her season until the time came that she found a proper suitor, then she would marry and begin to take care of her own household.
It was small diversions like this picnic that she thought would bring her joy. She was realizing, however, that instead she was finding more happiness sitting in Gilchrist's drawing room or with the children of the Foundling Hospital.
Those memories had weight and substance to her, whereas moments like this seemed so fleeting.
“Lady Abigail,” Heshing's voice called to her again.
She turned to him, surprised to be off in another place for the second time that afternoon.
“Something must be very distracting for you not to realize it’s your turn,” Miss Mary said with a giggle. “Perhaps you will share his name with the rest of us,” she added.
Lady Abigail looked sideways at Lord Heshing. She could see that he assumed where her thoughts had gone to for the second time that afternoon, and he wasn’t happy about it.
She was sorry to offend him so, for she did care about him sincerely. Assuredly, he had more to him than these simple diversions he had shared in just as she did. Perhaps he was only waiting for the invitation to be more, just as she had needed.
Lord Gilchrist had given her the means to see beyond the simple frivolities. She would be happy to share that same knowledge with Heshing. Then, too, she would be able to get to know Heshing on a deeper level. It seemed that her heart was waiting for something of that nature before she could fully accept him as a suitor.
As Lady Abigail retired to her bed that night, she thought over all the new revelations she had experienced over the week. Heshing was a formidable candidate for her hand. Looking through the eyes of society, it was a choice she should not let pass by.
She was never one for caring what was expected of her, however. She did care for Heshing and found him good company. She needed to know, however, that there was more to him than what she had seen thus far on the surface of things.
Chapter 16
Lord Gilchrist hated to admit it, but he was actually enjoying his time knitting. It helped pass the time as he sat alone in his quarters. As well as that, as he kept his hands busy, it made it harder for his mind to stray.
So often, when left alone to his thoughts, his mind turned to memories he would rather not remember.
He had done significantly more work than Lady Abigail. He smiled, realizing that this women’s work was truly not a strong suit for her. She seemed so confident in everything she did and said, it was nice to know that she was not entirely perfect.
Gilchrist couldn’t help but have his mind wander to her on the days she didn’t come by and anticipate her arrival on the days she did. He was finding that the more time he spent thinking about her, the less likely he was to snap at a servant or even have nightmares.
Somehow, the simple afternoons they had shared together had brought about a change in him that he honestly didn’t think was ever possible.
She had been true to her word that she did not fear his scars. In fact, he was sure the last time she came over, she didn’t even so much as notice them.
He never thought a time would come when a lady could look on him and at least not struggle to keep in a recoil. It gave him a flicker of hope.
He realized it meant he was developing feelings for her. It was a stupid notion and if he could have plucked it from his brain, he would have gladly done so.
Lady Abigail was a bright, beautiful, vivacious lady. There was no way that she would settle for being the beauty of such a ghastly monster.
He, after all, was no more whole on the inside than he was on the outside. Though he felt he had improved some, it was not enough to trust himself around others. He feared that one day his outbursts might spiral out of control in Lady Abigail’s presence. He would never be able to forgive himself for such an atrocity.
Sadly, once the idea had entered his head, it seemed to take root, and he could think of nothing else. He spent his long days of solitude thinking about what he would say to her next, how he might try to make her slip into one of her soft smiles.
Though he knew she would never care for him in return, he did his best to settle in the fact that, even if it was just for a short while, he could enjoy a friendship with the lady.
A soft knock on the door broke his concentration and he quickly hid his knitting needles in a desk drawer. He bade the visitor enter, expecting it to be a footman.
“Colton, are you busy?” his sister’s voice called from the other side of the door as she cracked it open.
“No, not at all. Just doing some paperwork for the plantation,” he said as he shuffled random papers on his desk.
“How was your meeting with Mr. Henderson? I feel like we never talk anymore,” Lady Louisa said, coming into the room and taking a seat across from her brother’s desk.
“It was most edifying. I learned much about the investment that I never knew. In fact,” Gilchrist hesitated a moment, “Mr. Henderson suggested I visit the plantation myself.”
“He did?” Lady Louisa said with a scared expression.
“And do you think you will go?” she added when she had adequately gauged her reaction.
Lady Louisa did not want her brother traveling far away again any more than she wanted him to stay shut up in his office. What she truly wished for was that things would go back to the way they were before he had left.
She was starting to realize that was never going to be the case, however. Though she would not want Colton to travel such a great distance and be away for another extended period of time, it would be preferable to the life he chose for himself now.
“I’m not entirely sure yet,” Gilchrist said, leaning back in his chair.
He scratched the soft golden stubble that had already started to dust the one side of his jawline. It no longer grew on the other side among the torn and healed flesh.
“It seems like an interesting idea. Mr. Henderson also informed me that things are certainly laxer in the budding country. Less pressure and social rules.”
“You wouldn’t stay, though, would you?” Lady Louisa asked, much in the tone of a fearful little sist
er.
“I don't even know if I will go,” he said softly to ease her worry.
That being said, Gilchrist also didn’t want to give his sister a definitive answer. Perhaps he would go and stay. It might be the fresh start he needed to revamp his life and bring some normalcy back to it.
“I am sure this is not the reason you came to see me, though, dear sister. What is it that I can do for you so that I may spare you looking on my garish figure any longer than necessary?”
Though Lady Louisa did better than most in hiding her discomfort, it was still visible there in her soft, brown doe eyes.
“I only fear for the pain you suffer,” she said in response to her shortfallings to not see his scars.
“They don’t pain me much at all,” the earl said, though it was not the truth.
“Well, I came in hopes that you would again join Mother and me for dinner tonight. We don’t have any guests. It will just be our small family.”
“I really don’t feel that to be a good idea, Louisa,” Lord Gilchrist said, leaning forward with each hand on the desk. “I fear it is too upsetting for Mother.”
“It is more upsetting for her to have you gone.”
The Earl of Gilchrist gave Lady Louisa a look like he highly doubted her words to be the truth.
“It’s true,” she said with as much earnestness as she had. “She is wracked with guilt that you now avoid leaving this room because of her weak constitution. She feels so awful at the site of your injuries.”
“Of course she does,” the earl said softly. He instead thought her weak constitution could not bear to look at the outward monster that had ended the life of her husband.
“It is only because she feels the pain you feel,” Lady Louisa continued. “She mourns for her child who suffered great pain that she cannot remove from him.”
Lord Gilchrist was surprised at Lady Louisa’s words. Firstly, it was not at all why he had considered his mother unable to look upon him. Further, he had never contemplated the pain a mother must feel when her child suffered.
It seemed that Lady Louisa’s words were wiser beyond her years. For the second time in a short period, he realized how much his little sister had grown in his absence. She had positively been the glue that kept her mother and father together while he was gone.
He didn’t want to put any more weight on her shoulders than necessary. If she felt it would bring peace to their mother for him to again join the family for evening meals, he would at least try it once for Lady Louisa’s sake.
“If it will make you happy,” he said with a huff as he sat back in his high-backed chair.
“It will make both of us happy,” Lady Louisa corrected.
She hesitated before getting up to leave. Picking at a ruffle in the cream-colored morning dress she still wore, she looked at her brother as if her eyes might penetrate his thoughts.
“You have spent much time with Lady Abigail this week,” she said as casually as possible.
The Earl of Gilchrist huffed air out. Though he wasn’t prepared, he had expected his sister to ask as much eventually.
“I’ve already told you, it is for a project regarding the boys’ school.”
“I know that is what you say, dear brother, but I wonder if the words are true?”
Lord Gilchrist faked offense.
“Are you impugning my honor?” he asked.
“I would never dream of doing so,” Lady Louisa said, hearing his old humor again.
“We used to tell each other everything,” she added by way of gleaning more out of him.
“I am afraid I have nothing more to tell you. I am surprised to say that I have enjoyed Lady Abigail’s company, but there is nothing beyond that.”
“Well, if there was, I might warn you that she has other eyes on her. You might want to make your move soon or miss the chance.”
“I will try to keep that in mind in the future. You are a dear for looking out for me, but even if I did have more than just friendship in mind, you forget the lady would need to feel the same.”
“Lady Abigail cares not for surface appearance. She is a lady of most pure honor that only sees the heart,” Lady Louisa spoke of her best friend’s sister-in-law.
Lord Gilchrist reflected on these words as he dressed for dinner that night. It was correct that of all the people he had been around, he was finding himself most comfortable with Lady Abigail. It was no doubt because she indeed cared about the inward appearance more than the outward.
But he also knew she would deserve better than the life he was destined to lead. He would not subject her to such a path, especially if she had other prospects, as Lady Louisa had mentioned.
Chapter 17
When the usual charity party gathered for their weekly delivery, there was a fresh excitement in the air. For the ladies’ part, it was no different than the last two weeks they had gone. Each week entailed bringing items to deliver that were most in need.
For Lord Gilchrist and Lady Abigail, there was the added excitement of not only presenting the mittens to the boys who would sorely need them, but also the enjoyment of being in each other’s company again.
“Why, Lady Abigail,” Lady Louisa said as she watched Abigail walk into the drawing room with her basketful of mittens. “Did you do all of that?”
Lord Gilchrist was already in the sitting room and stood at the entrance of Lady Abigail and the duchess.
“Of course she did,” he responded before Lady Abigail could do more than open her mouth. “Why else would she be toting them around if she had not done the work?”
He gave her a sly wink and sat back down.
“They are for the boys. The headmaster said that they had no mittens for this coming winter. Lord Gilchrist told them we would be delivering them so that they can dash them to shreds and darn them up again.”
“What a rotten idea for perfectly good gloves,” Lady Louisa said, looking at her brother.
“Rotten or not, it is important the boys learn how. Without well-worn gloves of their own, these will make due.”
“But all of poor Abigail’s hard work,” the duchess added.
Lady Abigail wanted to tell her companions that she had not even completed half of the mittens seen here. If the Earl of Gilchrist wanted to cut holes in them, he had every right to do so as he had made most of them.
Instead, she respected his secret and assured the ladies that she was aware of the plan and perfectly fine with it.
It was clear to both Lady Abigail and Lord Gilchrist that both ladies were still teetering on the worry that one might offend the other and end the peace that had happily resided in the families over the past week.
“What else will you be sharing with the young boys today?” Lady Fortuna asked over their light meal, once she joined the party.
Though Lady Fortuna was of a very delicate nature, she not only worked herself beyond what seemed her capability, but also greatly enjoyed stories that she knew she would never have the strength to make on her own.
“I’m not entirely sure. They all were begging for more stories. I am afraid I don’t have much. I was gone for only the last two years and then a year in the hospital. I can't imagine rehabilitation to be a fascinating topic for their minds. Though I am sure Lady Abigail could speak for hours on the appalling conditions of patient dressing-gowns in the hospital.”
All eyes swiveled to Lady Abigail as the women between Gilchrist and Lady Abigail held their collective breath. Lord Gilchrist spoke the words so calmly and without a look in her direction that the others were sure it was a blatant stab at what he had previously deemed useless conversation.
Instead of being offended at his words and a great outburst ensuing between the two, Lady Abigail crinkled her freckled nose at him.
“I will have you know, Lord Gilchrist,” she said with a haughty air, “I know absolutely nothing about hospital gowns and, therefore, could not even comment on the subject.”
“How terribly unfortunate
that is for you,” Lord Gilchrist countered with that wicked twinkle in his blue eyes. “I am sure the discussion of it would have been enthralling.”
Isabella let out her air in a burst of hiccupping laughs. It broke the other two ladies from their stares between the two conversing parties.
“I am glad to see you two are on much friendlier terms,” the duchess said, putting great emphasis on 'friendlier.'
Lady Abigail immediately looked down at her hands, red with blush. At that moment, she had forgotten the others in the room and continued the same banter that she had shared with the earl on their other occasions in the drawing room.
Now, seeing the faces between them, she realized it most likely teetered towards flirtation. She did her best to ignore the bright smile it brought to her sister-in-law's face as the same assumption came to her mind.
Lady Abigail took a calming breath. She had not woken this morning feeling completely healthy, but she also was not willing to let a little ailment ruin the day that she and the earl had worked so hard for.
Lord Gilchrist wasn’t too blind to see that Isabella was insinuating something between them. On the contrary, he was keener to see what Lady Abigail thought of the idea. Much to his surprise, she didn’t shrink away in horror as she had done the first night Lady Abigail feared she might dance with him at a ball.
Instead, Lady Abigail looked abashed and, even, dare he think, guilty of knowingly flirting with him. It brought a warm stirring to his heart. For a moment, he forgot all his troubles, the look of his body or even his self-imposed distance from the lady for her sake. For just a split second, he saw what life would be like if he did truly court her and marry Lady Abigail.
The thought seemed to stick in Lord Gilchrist’s mind as they made the carriage ride to the Foundling Hospital and school. He was desperate to shake it off, for he was not sure how he could spend the afternoon with her without giving his feelings away.
He stole a look or two in Lady Abigail’s direction from across the carriage, but she seemed determined to look out her window in deep concentration. He noticed that she seemed paler since first joining the party and worried that the words had settled in on her and left a sour taste.
