by Abby Ayles
Then, when he had come to in the hospital, burned on half his body and unsure if he would even live, he had been informed that his father too had succumbed to his deadly choice to join the Regulars.
He knew he couldn’t prevent all deaths in a war, but maybe, had he stayed home, another would have done a better job in his place. One thing he was sure of, had he not gone, his father would still be alive.
He wasn't feeling better at all for telling his tale. If anything, it only brought it all back to the surface. The feeling of the fire, the inability to breathe in the smoke-filled air, the sizzling crackle of his own flesh. Worst of all were the blank eyes of the private laying on the floor next to him.
Lady Abigail reached across and took Lord Gilchrist’s hand. It wasn’t entirely proper, but she didn’t care. It was easy to see he was wracked with not just the torment of his own injuries but also the weight of all the men who had been in his care.
Gilchrist looked up at Lady Abigail in surprise when she slipped her hand into his. It was as if a window had been opened to let light into a darkened room. In her eyes, he could see her take a portion of his pain and suffering on herself. It was like getting a lungful of air for the first time in years.
Chapter 23
Lady Abigail didn’t get much sleep the night after Lord Gilchrist shared with her the accident that had led to his permanent disfigurement. Though she had not been there when it happened, she was sure she could see the eyes of the young man in his charge.
It was no wonder that Lord Gilchrist struggled with nightmares and uncontrollable fits of rage. She would feel the same if she had such a weight of guilt on her shoulders. Then to return home with this deep struggle within, only to have the world you once knew reject you.
Lady Abigail was desperate to free Lord Gilchrist from the chains that bound him. She wasn’t sure how it would be possible. One thing she knew for certain, however, was that running and hiding would not solve his problems.
It seemed to be all Lord Gilchrist was capable of. He would hide himself away or run to far-off lands when hiding wasn’t enough. She knew there had to be a better answer. Lady Abigail was certain she must be the one to find it for him.
“I said, are you having a good time?” Lord Heshing asked.
“I’m sorry,” Lady Abigail said, realizing she was being very rude to her caller.
Lord Heshing had arrived just after breakfast to call on her. She had been so occupied with worry over Lord Gilchrist, she was ashamed to say she wasn’t the greatest of hosts.
“I feel as if you have been lost in thought quite regularly. Am I that much of a bore?" Heshing asked as he leaned back in his seat.
Lady Abigail looked at his relaxed form. He was only meaning it in teasing, of course. She smiled shyly.
“I only heard some disturbing news last night. It has caused me much distress, is all.”
“Well, what was it? I would love to help,” Heshing said, coming forward in his seat again.
Lady Abigail would never share with anyone what Lord Gilchrist had told her the night before. It was much too personal for her to speak of, even to Lady Louisa. To tell Heshing, a man who Gilchrist had professed hatred for, was beyond an overstep of bounds.
Instead, Lady Abigail turned to the thought of what Gilchrist had said about Heshing. Perhaps if she shared with him the rumors going around about his behavior, he would be able to clear the air and right all the wrong.
“It is about Lord Gilchrist,” Lady Abigail started.
She couldn’t help but notice the dark cloud that came over Heshing’s normally charming face.
“That old beast,” he said, quite proud of his slight.
Lady Abigail didn’t like it at all.
“Don’t call him that!” she shot out, before she could curtail her tone. “He has overcome much,” she added with a soft tone.
She couldn’t help but become a little self-conscious when Heshing raised a blonde brow at her outburst. He may have liked her spirited nature when riding in gigs and attending races, but he hadn’t seen how strong Lady Abigail could be when it came to defending a friend.
“Plus, it was in regards to you,” she added.
Heshing seemed to like that the conversation was turning back to him.
"Yes, and what about me? Does Gilchrist know I beat his time at my last race?" he said rather boastfully.
“No. Lord Gilchrist informed my brother of an incident. It's making the duke very uncomfortable, with me spending so much time in your company, that is.”
“Oh really,” Heshing said, not with surprise, as Lady Abigail had expected, but with a quiet resolve.
Perhaps he had been expecting this moment to come all along.
“I know the incident that you are speaking of. It was a silly little misunderstanding. I had it all sorted out by that afternoon,” Heshing said with a wave of his hand.
Lady Abigail couldn’t help but feel a little relief at his words.
“That Gilchrist can be so dramatic at times. It seems he lets his emotions run wild. I am sure he made things out to be a bigger deal than necessary. He certainly did that morning. He was going on and on as if he was some great hero rescuing the poor proprietor from a great evil,” Heshing said with a chuckle.
“As you said, though, he has been through a trial. I suppose he is still partly in that military world and sees things as more severe than they should be.”
Lady Abigail found sense in Heshing's words. Perhaps this had all been a misunderstanding as she had hoped. Gilchrist could get overly upset very quickly. Maybe he saw more in the situation than there really was.
There would be no point in arguing that fact with her brother. The duke was not very happy with the fact that Lady Abigail still spent much of her time in the presence of the Earl of Heshing.
There would be no way to correct the past misunderstanding, but she could find a way to move forward. If her brother and sister-in-law saw his true character now, they would change their opinion of him.
A wonderful plan was growing inside her mind.
“You do believe me?” Lord Heshing bore into her with his soft eyes.
“Of course,” she assured him. “I am sure it is all just a misunderstanding, as I suspected.”
“Good,” he said with relief as he relaxed his arm on the back of the chair. “Because I would hate if I couldn’t call on you anymore.”
“Well,” Lady Abigail hesitated, “I believe you. I fear the duke and duchess may be a whole different case. I fear that my brother doesn’t trust you and would rather I gave my attention elsewhere.”
“A simple question could change all of that,” Heshing said with that playful gleam in his eyes. “If we were to be, let's say, more formally attached to each other, His Grace would have to accept us.”
Lady Abigail felt that flutter in her heart and did her best to swallow it down. She had a feeling that he was very near to asking her to marry him.
“I am afraid, if a question was asked,” she said as slowly as possible, “I would have to decline.”
“Decline?” Heshing responded with utter shock.
“Not because I would want to. I am sure my brother wouldn’t come around if I forced him to in such a way. Both he and the duchess would only push against us harder. It is better to win over their affections first.”
Heshing got up from his seat and came to sit by Lady Abigail. The maid in the corner only looked up for an instant before returning to a basket of mending she had at her side. Lady Abigail was keenly aware of their closeness and the masculine smell that seemed to float along the air with Heshing’s closeness.
“I think my affection for you has been made quite clear over the last few months,” Heshing said in a low voice. “I had thought you felt the same towards me.”
“I do,” Lady Abigail said.
She did have affection for the man. He was charming and handsome. More than that, she could see herself living a happy life of bringing a family back in
to his home. A small part of her wondered if she was only trying to save another wounded chick, but she was sure that wasn’t the case.
“Then what does it matter what the duke thinks?” Heshing said with a small laugh. “If we both care for each other, then we should agree to marry right now.”
It was the first time, after all the months of teasing, that the actual words were spoken. Lady Abigail drew in a sharp breath. She didn’t want to hurt Heshing, but at the same time, she could never agree to something that might separate her from her family.
She knew that this was something that Lord Heshing couldn’t understand. He had grown up an only child, then spent the last few years alone. So much of what he did was because he desired to, with no regard for how it might affect others. After all, he had no one else to think of.
Lady Abigail wasn’t sure how she could make Heshing see that, though she valued her own happiness, she would not seek it when it caused her family unhappiness. There had to be a way, instead, for the two to reconcile.
“I can’t do that,” Lady Abigail said sorrowfully. “I couldn’t bear to choose a life that would separate me from my family. I care for them too much to have hard feelings between us.”
Heshing thought this over.
“But, you see, if we married now,” he said, as if the idea had just come to him, “they would have no choice but to accept us. We could run away and elope.”
“I would never do such a thing,” Lady Abigail said. “It is a fearful, spineless move.”
“Would your brother truly deny us?” Heshing asked, trying a different tactic now.
“No, he would never do that. He has always said he wishes happiness for me. He would not deny me if I asked.”
“So then, it is settled,” Heshing responded, clapping his hands.
Lady Abigail had a strange feeling that this was more of a negotiation than a marriage proposal. It was not at all how she had expected it to go.
“No, it is not,” she said firmly. “Christian would agree, but he wouldn’t be happy with it. I doubt that taking such a course would help him to see your good character either. We must find a way to resolve the matter first. Only then will we be able to start a life on good terms with my family.”
“Is it really that important to you?” Heshing asked, a little exasperated by the idea. “After all, how much would you see any of them? You would come with me to live at my country seat. We would only meet with them occasionally.”
Lady Abigail was horrified by the thought. She couldn’t bear the idea. Of course, she knew that when the time came for her to marry she would see less of her family. No longer would she live at Wintercrest Manor. She would spend less time with the twins, the new baby, and Jackie. To have it said so coldly, though, seemed inhuman.
“I understand that I would not see them as much,” Lady Abigail said, doing her best to hide her irritation at his words. “However, I would still want to be on affectionate terms with them. If that cannot be done, I see no more reason to discuss the matter.”
“I understand,” Heshing said, settling back into his good humor. “Then it seems I must not just find a way into your heart, but also into the heart of the duke.”
His raised brow at this remark had the desired effect of making Lady Abigail laugh. It was then settled that Heshing would take her on a ride through the park on the morrow, as they had previously planned, but then he would return to have a family dinner with her at the duke’s house.
In Lady Abigail’s mind, this could be the first of many private audiences with her family that Heshing could use to win them over with his charm. He was so wonderfully humorous and such a likable fellow, she was sure that in no time at all her brother and Isabella would come to feel for him as she, herself, did.
Chapter 24
Lady Abigail was happy to walk down her townhouse steps to join Lord Heshing in his carriage. She was surprised to see that instead of the gig they normally rode through the park in, today he had his barouche with the top back.
It seemed a silly thing to bring such an important vehicle when they were only going to turn around the park. Lady Abigail looked up at the sky. Impending bad weather might warrant the use of a coach that could be covered, if needed.
It was, however, a beautiful sunny day. Lady Abigail could only surmise that Lord Heshing had brought such a beautiful carriage with two beautiful chestnut horses pulling it to impress her brother. It touched her heart to know he cared this much about appeasing her wish for him to make friends with her family.
She sat down in the seat next to him at the front of the carriage where he controlled the steeds. It was a bit tighter quarters than she was used to, but she felt it silly to sit in the back when he sat up front.
“I have a surprise for you,” he said, hitching the horses and starting on his way.
Lady Abigail could tell by the way he hadn’t looked her way yet that he had to be nervous. Her eyes didn’t miss the tight grip his gloved hands had on the reins.
She wasn’t dressed for anything outside of a trip around the park in her soft cotton walking dress in a shade of dark cream.
“What is it?” Lady Abigail asked when he explained no further.
“If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise anymore,” Heshing replied with a wicked slant to his eyes.
They sat in silence as he drove down the street. She watched as they passed all the entrances to Hyde Park. She wondered if he was perhaps taking her somewhere else. Soon, the whole of the city seemed to be passing her by. She began to grow worried when they finally stopped at an establishment.
“Is this where the surprise is?” Lady Abigail asked.
She looked up and down the building. It was a tavern of some sort and not a very reputable one, if she judged correctly. Not only the building, but this whole part of London seemed to be coated in a thick layer of grime. It was not at all where she had hoped to take her journey today.
Heshing stepped out of the front seat, hooking the leather leads to the seat for safe keeping. He reached up to take her hand as well. Lady Abigail hesitated.
“It is only a stop, not the final destination,” he said, waiting for her hand.
Lady Abigail sighed softly in relief. She placed her hand in his and he helped her down. He walked her to the back of the carriage and motioned for her to take her place there.
“Heshing, whatever is going on?” Lady Abigail asked, full of confusion.
“All will be explained shortly, my dear,” he said as she got in.
Instead of seating himself beside her, he instead flipped up the retractable hood and entered the establishment.
Lady Abigail sat nervously inside the small compartment. She was full of worry, unsure what exactly Heshing had arranged. He did tend to have a spontaneous personality, but this seemed like much more than even she had expected from him.
Finally, she caught a glimpse of Heshing’s brown velvet hat as he emerged from the tavern. In his company were two other men. One seemed to be a coachman, as he promptly sat at the front of the carriage.
The other man, who appeared to be a servant, stood and spoke with Heshing for a moment. Finally, Lady Abigail made out a note being passed from Heshing to his man before the latter turned and walked away.
She leaned forward in her seat as Heshing came to join her. All the warmth of the sun seemed to vanish under the dark cover of the carriage. When Heshing entered, a cold wind blew in with him.
Heshing tightened his riding jacket a little closer around himself and blew warm air into his gloved hands.
“It’s getting beastly cold out there,” he said by way of conversation.
Lady Abigail was stunned. He was speaking to her as if this whole occasion was utterly ordinary. It was anything but that in Lady Abigail’s mind.
“Heshing, you must tell me what is going on. I am becoming a bit concerned,” Lady Abigail said as coolly as she could muster once the carriage started again.
“Do not worry, my dear.
All will be explained in due time.”
It was the second time he had called her such. It was an endearment meant for two attached. Though they had spoken of the possibility, she didn’t think that warranted the use of the intimate term.
She sat silently as the journey continued. They passed through the city and began to enter the outlying lands.
“I wish you would have told me that we were to leave town. My brother is expecting us for dinner. I would have brought a maid along, as well,” Lady Abigail added.
She was never one for propriety, but there was a difference between taking an open gig ride in the park with a gentleman and driving a carriage to an unknown place out of town. They were dangerously close to causing much gossip after this matter.
Though she rarely cared what others gossiped about her, it would make it that much more difficult to win her brother over to Lord Heshing. This was a bold move which bordered on that recklessness that the duke had worried about.
“I sent a note along with my man. They are aware that we won't be returning tonight,” he replied coolly as he looked out at the passing landscape.
“Not tonight? What does that mean? Really, Heshing, this is too much for me. I think you should tell me right now what is going on or take me home,” Lady Abigail said, mustering all her will to control the frustration inside her.
He smiled softly at her. Heshing had a dull, calming look to his eyes that instilled fear in Lady Abigail. Removing his gloves one by one he began to get himself comfortable in the carriage for a long ride.
“You see, I couldn’t wait for your brother to come around,” he said, stretching his legs as much as the tight confines allowed. He was sitting with his back to the driver and across from Lady Abigail.
“We are on our way to Gretna Green to be married.”
“What?”
It was the only word that Lady Abigail could manage to procure from her mouth. He had stated the fact so naturally, like it was apparent.
