by Abby Ayles
As a young girl, she had needed vast amounts of medical care. Nobody had dared think that a child her age could be suffering rheumatism, and it only dawned on them when she was six that she had been suffering from it her entire life.
At six, she was barely able to walk, and always in intense pain at her knees, ankles and back. So much so that she rarely left her bed. She was restricted to a wheelchair until she was ten.
But even as she grew stronger and healthier, her father seemed to refuse to acknowledge it. It was getting to a point where she was receiving treatments she did not need, just to comfort him. She lived an active life and enjoyed long walks around their property. She wasn’t a little girl anymore.
Her mother's death had really affected Kitty’s father. He was always protective of Kitty, but when her mother passed away he became even more overbearing. From that point onward he went from simply guarding her when she was in pain, to treating her as though she were made of the thinnest crystal.
And no matter how effective her treatments were, no matter how well she felt, he insisted on steam baths, massages, special oils and ointments—anything that was recommended. Although she was tired of this, she did not complain. She smiled, accepted her treatment, and told him how much better she felt after them. She couldn't hurt him.
She had been only eight when her mother had passed, and it left a deep scar on her heart. He may be overbearing, but Kitty would do anything to make her father happy. And it made him happy to treat her rheumatism. It gave him a purpose in life.
It was a peculiar situation, where he could not bear to see her in pain, but he couldn't believe that she was ever not in pain. He needed her to be in pain so he could treat her, so he could look after her. And she needed to play along just so she could see him smile.
And yet now she was growing weary of it. She wanted freedom. She wanted to marry. She wanted to go out and watch the races, go to balls, walk with her friends and do all the things that normal young ladies did.
As the sun set on the first day, she could already feel her knees trying to seize up, and began lightly exercising them as she sat there, so they would not get stiff as she slept. She would have to sleep on the ferry at first, and the cabins were small and cramped. It was best to go in as relaxed as possible.
The journey was long, and it always made her joints stiff. But she knew that once she was home she would limber up in no time. Her condition was nowhere near as debilitating as her father seemed to believe.
She could not sit too still for very long, and she could not travel far. But the only reason she ever had to do either of these things was to receive treatment. If she simply stayed home she would not have to worry about such matters.
But her father would never understand that.
As the sun dawned on the sixth day, Kitty was pleased to wake up and see the fields outside their village. Home at last. Due to the lack of inns on the last stretch of their journey she had been forced to sleep two nights in the coach, and she looked forward to her own cosy bed.
She saw the usual bright barn that meant there was only an hour left to go.
“Please pack up my books,” she said to the maid.
The maid smiled. “Of course, mistress.”
As the maid packed away Kitty's books and assorted travel items, Kitty looked out of the window and tried to spot the usual landmarks as they rolled by, counting down the minutes until she was home.
It was barely seven in the morning as they finally pulled up outside her home. The gardens were in full bloom, and the mansion was glimmering with dew in the sunlight. It shone like something out of fairy land.
An enormous, bearded, gruff man walked out, still in his bed coat, a broad grin stretching his plump, furry cheeks. Kitty waved at him through the window as the coach pulled up at the bottom of the stairs.
The driver descended from his seat and opened the door for Kitty. She made sure both her legs were feeling strong before standing up and stepping out of the coach. The last thing she wanted was to fall over and scare her father.
Once firmly on solid ground, Kitty all but threw herself into her father's arms. “I have missed you so much, daddy,” she said, feeling her heart rest easy now she was safely home.
“I have missed you too, my dearest. Now, come indoors, it is cold. We must get you a nice, filling breakfast,” he insisted.
He was just as obsessed with making sure she ate enough as he was with her treatments. Although she did not need much nourishment due to her fairly inactive lifestyle, he would become so worried when she didn't finish the enormous plates she was served, that now she had taken to dropping some under the table for the dogs.
“How is my little girl after her journey? Not too sore?” he asked as they sat at the table, an enormous plate of cold pie, cheeses, and bread in front of both of them. Baron Langley had a glass of wine, and Kitty had her usual spiced tea, an Eastern remedy for her pains, according to Dr. Allen.
“I am feeling quite well,” she said with a smile.
“You seemed stiff when you walked in,” her father replied sternly.
She knew she couldn't get away with lying, but she still tried. She didn't want to cause him undue concern. He was very good at worrying excessively all on his own.
“I am always stiff after my journey, you know this, father,” she insisted. “I shall be right as rain in a day or two.”
“I hope so, because I would like to attend a gala on Sunday. Your friends will be there,” he said, taking a hearty bite of cheese.
Kitty politely listened and, as he was distracted, dropped some pie to her feet, where the dogs, silent as though understanding their complicity, quickly made it disappear. “That would be lovely, father,” she replied.
“I was thinking that perhaps you could meet a few nice young men there,” Baron Langley said. “I know how much you want to meet an appropriate suitor, and maybe this time it shall happen.”
“I do hope so,” Kitty replied.
Her father nodded. “I have been thinking, and I know you do not like me to think of this, but I have been thinking about what may happen when I am no longer here for you. And I think you need a good husband, to care for you.”
Kitty just smiled. She knew what would happen. It was what always happened. She would hit off wonderfully with a young man who was handsome, funny, educated, wealthy, and witty, he would go to her father to ask to court her... and then her father would say something about her illness and they would never see the young man ever again.
She had stopped caring about this, to be honest. She used to aspire to marry well, have a beautiful wedding, and bear many children. But as man after man had been scared away, she had given up. At least, contrary to her father's fears, she knew she would be able to care for herself when she was all alone.
Kitty dropped some cheese under the table as she ate some bread. She could feel the dogs' tails wagging against her shins as they enjoyed their breakfast.
“I think the gala is a wonderful idea,” she said again with a nod.
“Good, good. I shall inform Duke and Duchess Haskett that we shall attend. But now you need to get plenty of rest,” her father said with a warm smile. “Otherwise you shall be in no shape to attend the gala.”
“It is not for a few days, I shall be fine,” Kitty reassured him, gently resting her hand on his arm.
“Yes, but you must rest for a few days,” he insisted. “You need to stay home and build up your strength. I know how badly you suffer when you overdo it.”
She smiled and nodded.
Chapter 2
Sitting by her window, Kitty felt very much a prisoner in her own home. This was something else that always happened. Whenever there was even a hint that she was under the weather, she was stuck at home. Her father could not fathom that she might be unwell one day and better the next. In his mind, every little ache required a week of convalescence.
The sun shone beautifully outside, the garden looked so bright and fragra
nt, and she would have to just watch from her stuffy bedroom.
She heard a knock at her door. “Who is it?” she asked.
“Just me,” her father said from the other side.
“Come in,” she offered.
The door opened and he walked in, smiling proudly as he saw her resting by the window.
“I know that you do not like resting here too much. So that you do not suffer the lack of company, I have invited a friendly young man for dinner,” he said, sitting down in the armchair opposite her.
Kitty felt excitement welling up in her chest. This would be perfect! “That is wonderful news,” she replied. “Who is he?”
“Someone by the name of Josiah Morton. I met him at an event last week. Lovely young man, his title slips my mind, but he seemed like the sort who might take good care of you.”
“I am sure he is wonderful,” she replied. “I shall choose a dress for tonight.”
Baron Langley nodded and stood up, resting a heavy hand on her shoulder. “Just make sure it is not too exposed, I don't want you to get cold.”
Kitty smiled. “I shall choose one with long sleeves,” she replied.
“Good girl,” her father said. “I shall ensure that dinner is excellent for tonight.” And with that he left the room.
Kitty was just happy to be able to while away the hours trying on dresses, now that she had an excuse. It was something to do.
She eventually selected her best dress, a pretty pink number that highlighted her chestnut locks and bright blue eyes. After finding the right shoes and jewellery to go with it, she laid them out carefully on her bed, then returned to her seat by the window.
Staring out at the bright green fields, the wispy clouds dancing in the blue sky, and the little birds swooping past her window, she wondered what this young man would be like. However much he seemed intent on scaring them away, her father had excellent taste when it came to her suitors.
Dinner time arrived and, dressed and made up, Kitty felt like she was royalty. She smiled at her own reflection as she walked past the mirror and out of her bedroom. Ordinarily her father wouldn't even let her leave the room when she was “recovering”. This was a wonderful exception.
“You look like a little doll,” her father said with a proud smile.
Kitty beamed. “I am glad. Is he here yet? I would love to meet him.”
“He is not, but he will no doubt be here soon,” Baron Langley replied. “So we must make sure we are ready to receive him properly.”
Sure enough, just as they made their way downstairs, a young man was shown in by the butler. He was very tall, with dark wavy hair, bright eyes, and a sharp, handsome face. He smiled warmly as a maid took his coat and hat to be hung up somewhere.
“Master, mistress,” the butler began, “Duke Josiah Morton is here.”
She had not expected that. A Duke. And at his young age too! Duke Josiah Morton was almost the ideal. Handsome, young, wealthy, and powerful. Provided he was also a charmer to talk to, she would have no trouble getting along with him.
“Charmed to make your acquaintance,” Kitty said, making eye contact with him.
Sitting down for dinner, Kitty smiled politely at him. She could almost melt as he smiled back, he was so handsome. “I am pleased that you were able to make it.”
“Well, when a Baron says he has a pretty young daughter looking for suitors, I do like to oblige,” he replied. “I am only sad that you were not at last week's ball.”
Kitty looked aside. “I am afraid I was away, but I shall be at Duke Haskett's gala this weekend, if you shall be there.”
“I may,” he replied. “You really are lovely, I am astounded that you do not yet have any suitors,” Duke Morton said, grinning at her.
She nodded. “It is a little complicated. But I am away a lot. Most young men are not prepared to handle that.”
“What a coincidence, I am away a lot also. I suppose we could try and travel together,” he replied.
“I am not sure that you would want to accompany me on my travels,” Kitty said with a nervous giggle.
“And why would that be?” Duke Morton asked, sipping his wine.
Kitty could feel her face hot with shame. Ought she to hide this from him? It would not be right, surely? And yet she knew what happened whenever she mentioned her condition. Or better said, whenever her father mentioned her condition.
It was probably better to get it out of the way. As quickly and as casually as possible. If he was going to ignore her, then so be it. But there was no point letting him build up hope and interest only for him to back away as soon as he found out.
Besides, it wasn't as though her condition would scare away everyone. She was not so ill. Someone would eventually look past it and understand her.
But before she could say anything a maid marched in and curtsied low before her.
“We have a letter for you, mistress,” the maid said, holding out a tray with a letter on it.
“Thank you,” Kitty replied. Taking the letter and turning it over, she saw a deep brown wax crest had sealed it. “Father, may I take this to the hallway to read? It may require my immediate attention.”
Baron Langley raised an eyebrow a little. “Of course, but please return as soon as you are done.”
Kitty left the room. She couldn't read this in front of her new suitor. She knew where it was from based on the seal. The resort. She opened the letter and read it. Just a confirmation that her treatment would not be for another six months, unless rescheduled, as she was doing very well. Kitty sighed in relief.
“Maid?” she asked softly, so as to not be heard on the other side of the door.
The maid, who had followed her out of the dining room, patiently waiting for further instruction, walked up to her. “Yes, mistress?”
“Please leave this letter on my father's desk, for his records,” Kitty said. “And thank you for bringing it to me.”
The maid curtsied. “Of course, mistress. I shall see to that immediately.”
Kitty was happy. She knew her father would no doubt reschedule, but it was always good to hear that her health was robust. Even if her father wouldn't believe it.
Re-joining her father and the duke, she curtsied before sitting down.
“What was that?” her father asked. “Nothing important?”
She shook her head. “Not at all.”
“If it requires my attention, I can—”
Kitty shook her head again. “It is all arranged.”
“I see, was it from the resort?” her father asked.
“Oh, it is nothing, just my treatment has been rescheduled,” she replied without thinking.
“Treatment?” Duke Morton asked, raising an eyebrow. “Whatever for, you seem right as rain?”
Kitty smiled, feeling a sweat break out on the back of her neck. From the looks of it he was not the sort of man to take these things lightly. “It's just a little care I require for an ailment I have had since I was a girl. It doesn't cause me much trouble.”
“And you cannot say what that ailment is?” he asked.
“I am not sure why I should have to,” Kitty replied defiantly. “It clearly does not affect me in my day to day life.”
“I am not sure I could marry a young lady who is going through treatment for something,” the duke said, an eyebrow rising again in suspicion.
Kitty sighed. “That is your choice to make, though I do believe it is foolish to dismiss someone on grounds of her health alone,” she said somewhat bitterly.”
“I am not sure it is worth my staying for dinner,” he replied.
“Now, now, let's not be too hasty,” Baron Langley said, slight panic creeping in his voice.
“I have some matters to attend do at home,” Duke Morton replied, standing up. “It has been lovely seeing you again, and I hope I shall see you soon.”
Baron Langley sighed in resignation. “Of course, I hope that you are able to attend to all the matters you need to.”
Duke Morton nodded and smiled. “Thank you. Do not worry about seeing me to the door, I am sure I can find my own way.”
“I am sorry to have troubled you, Your Grace” Kitty's father said, settling back into his seat as the duke left. He looked down at his plate.
Kitty could tell her father had lost his appetite. This was a bad sign. This was always a bad sign. When he was comfortable and happy, he was always hungry. When he did not eat, something was wrong. He kept staring at his plate until they heard the front door close. Duke Morton, like many before him, had been scared away.
Kitty sighed.
Baron Langley glared at Kitty. “Why would you say something so blatant in front of our guest, Kitty?” he said, exasperated. “Now he shall not want anything to do with you.”
“I- I was not thinking,” Kitty replied. “You mentioned the resort and I- I am so sorry, father.”
“The resort is not a problem. People attend resorts all the time for perfectly innocent reasons. It is the treatment we did not want him to know about yet. And you had to mention it,” he said bluntly, pushing his plate away. “I am not hungry. You have spoiled my dinner.”
“Well ordinarily it is you who cannot keep quiet about my condition,” Kitty replied angrily. “Why do you think all my last suitors left, father?”
“They need to find out sooner or later,” the Baron replied. “After all, with your condition we cannot exactly keep it a secret. But there is a time and a place to reveal these things so that good men are not scared away by the idea of courting a woman who is so frail.”
“Pray, tell me then,” Kitty replied, “when is the right time and place. Because I am not sure if you have noticed, father, but every suitor has left, no matter when or where you have told him.”
She knew this hurt her father and she shouldn't have said it. But she was not about to sit there and be blamed for her own lack of suitors. Her father's face grew red with rage.
“Perhaps at the gala I shall meet a man who does not mind, but so far they have all been resistant to courting me for that very reason,” she added.
