by Piper Frost
“No, and he doesn't need to know that. He's a friend of mine and I met him through Corey. I didn't want him...never mind. But I have to contact him before he worries that maybe foul play was involved in my disappearance. He knew I was going to Mexico to lay low for a while, but I was supposed to have contact with him.”
“So about that,” I say, clearing my throat. I can't even look at her when I tell her this, because I fucking snooped in her shit and pretended to be her. After ruining her place and the kidnapping I'm lucky the girl's still talking to me. “I turned your phone back on the other night.” I pause and wait for a reaction but it doesn't come so I glance up at her and she's gripping the spatula tight, glaring at me. “Good news, Corey doesn't know where you are.” I try to grin but fail miserably.
“Please, please.” She closes her eyes a brief minute and takes a breath, reeling in the anger I know she wants to let loose. “Please tell me you didn't do anything?” Her eyes open and lock on mine.
“Define anything,” I whisper, wincing when her foot lands in a heavy stomp.
“Jesus, Tommy. Fuck! Why? Why can't you see this isn't a fucking game! You didn't contact him, did you?”
“I promise you I didn't contact him.” I stand and walk over to her, putting my hands on her arms. “Beany, I read everything he sent you. And I read all the messages from your lawyer. I was shaking when I finally got through everything. He contacted the authorities and your lawyer's frantic. All I did was pretend to be you, messaging your lawyer friend back.” I curse and run my hand through my hair. “I'm not going to say I didn't fight hitting dial and telling Corey just what I plan on doing to him once I get my hands on him, though,” I mutter.
She stares at me a minute. “Which is nothing,” she says quietly. “Promise me, Tommy. This has to end with us. If my friends and family taunt him, he will come for me. This isn't a southern boy defending his girl. This is an unstable man with women issues on the brink of insanity.” She sighs and closes her eyes again. “I’m not joking. We aren't going to do anything. By we, I mean you. Promise me.”
I can't do that. I can't promise her I won't hurt the guy if he ever shows up here.
“I can promise you I won't contact him, Bean. I'm not going to taunt him. But if he shows up here, I can promise you he will regret it.” I slide my hand to the back of her head, forcing her to look at me. “I'm not about making promises I can't keep, and I'm not going to let him torture you anymore.”
“He won't. I'll stay here for a while and wait it out. My lawyer’s doing big things that'll help in the long run. I need to talk to him though.”
“You can have your phone back tonight. Later.” My eyebrows push together. A while. “You're still itching to get out of the country, aren't you?” I’m not sure what I thought a week at a spa would do. I was hoping she'd realize that this place and all the love and family we have to offer is exactly what she needs, but obviously that didn't happen.
A small smile lifts her pink lips. “What's here for me? I mean besides my adorable nephew. I still haven't even gotten aunt time with him.”
“There's so much more here for you than a four year old.” I smile. “I guess I'll just have to remind you, huh?” I ask with a quirked eyebrow.
She chuckles and shakes her head, turning to the grill. “No, I remember how horny you always were.” After flipping a burger she turns to face me again. “So I'm supposed to stick around so you have a fuck buddy again? Life goals.” Her eyes roll.
“I mean, once you have this magic dick you know you can't go back.” I shrug, stepping back to my chair. I want to tell her she's supposed to stick around to be my girl until I die. Until the end of days.
But I don't.
“Right.” She chuckles and turns to the grill again. “Anyway, you can visit this time maybe? It won't kill you to leave the country. I don't know where I'll settle yet. Probably overseas somewhere. Somewhere safer.”
“Overseas?” I blurt, my eyes bugging out of my head. “Bean, why can't you just stay here? Your family's here. You could make some kickass friends in those girls. You said yourself they're fun! And...” Me. “And me. I'm here.” I don't get what she doesn't understand but it's like I have to spell it out for her. “We're all getting a little too old for only having fuck buddies, don't you think?”
“Yes!” She laughs. “I am not hanging around the south to be your fuck buddy, Tommy. And the career I'm in needs me in big cities. Two strikes. I'm too old to go my whole life as my best friend’s roommate slash fuck buddy. And I've gone too far in the industry to let go of my dreams.”
I swipe my tongue over my bottom lip, thinking this through thoroughly before standing and setting my beer on the table. Stepping over to her slowly, she watches me while clutching the damn spatula. I stand as close as possible and reach out to take it from her, setting it next to the grill.
“I find it hard to imagine you wouldn't be able to work on your computer right there in that beautiful fucking office of mine.” I bring my hand to her cheek and slide my fingers down her jaw. “And I'm not fond of the term fuck buddy. I'd need something a little more...monogamous. And permanent, Bean,” I whisper. “I also think this view right here?” I push my hand to the back of her neck, staring into her eyes. “Is the best goddamn view of this whole place.”
“As monogamous as a roommate?” she asks quietly.
“As monogamous as a guy who's pined for his first love and finally has a chance to remind her what she's missing.” I think my heart's going to jump out of my chest and start flopping all over this goddamned deck. She stares at me with wide eyes. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you when we were younger,” I manage, terrified.
Her eyes drop from mine. “You...you never even...” Shaking her head, she steps back. “Wow.” She chuckles, but I know that Affton laugh, and it's not a happy one. “You never even let on. You always shut down everyone that would mention us being a couple.” Her brows furrow. “What the hell, Tommy?” She shoves me before turning to the grill.
“Bean.” I blurt, stepping forward and turning her. “You're not allowed to be pissed right now,” I laugh. Trying to laugh off the severity of this situation is real fucking hard. “I knew what you wanted. I knew what I wanted. It... I couldn't have told you. I would have lost you for good.” God that didn't come out right. “You needed to go out there and make something of yourself.”
“I was fucking in love with you!” she barks at me. “I would have asked you to come! I would have practically begged you if I knew we were more than friends. My whole life would have been different.” She shakes her head in disappointment. “Better,” she says looking into my eyes again; pain sears it’s way through my chest because she’s spot on with that statement.
“I know,” I whisper. “Trust me, I've thought about all of that and it makes me sick.” My eyes fall to the deck. “But it never changed, you know. I never stopped feeling what I do, Beany.” I glance back up at her. I still love her, but I can't say it. Not yet. Because I have a feeling she's about to stomp on my heart so I hold those words close.
“You don't even know me anymore.” There's that chuckle again. “I'm not that girl anymore, Tommy.”
“You don't think so, but she's in there.” I step closer, pulling her to me. “You've tried to hide her for too long, Beany. Let her out to play.” I smirk and my eyes flit down to her pink lips.
She pushes the spatula into my hand. “She was beaten out of me,” she mutters before going into the house.
I blink a few times, staring at where she was just standing, and wonder where I went wrong. Oh that's right. It all started when I finally told her the truth.
I finish the burgers and head inside with the plate, though I've completely lost my appetite. Setting it on the counter right next to where she's finishing up the mashed potatoes and macaroni, I let my hand brush her arm when I pull away.
“Smells delicious,” I say.
“We make a good team.” The words aren't as carefree as s
he was acting before that conversation.
“That we do.” I want to scream at her to get out of her head. I want to know what the fuck she's thinking. More than anything, I want to know how she feels about me now. She used to love me? If she doesn't feel anything for me right now I'll be fucking shocked. “Wine?”
“You bought wine?” She cocks her eyebrow and a teasing smile lifts her lips, making the tension lessen. “Is it Grant’s?”
“Bean, we just went grocery shopping together. Did you not pay attention to what I put in the cart?” I laugh, grabbing the bottle opener. I want the easy conversation back, but I'm not going to forget we have a conversation to finish. One she walked away from.
“Nooo, because Rachel was an aisle over and she seemed to have more to say to you. If I were a lesbian, she'd be my type.” She cocks an eyebrow, setting plates on the table.
“I like jealousy on you,” I say, smiling over at her. “And the thought of you lezz-ing out. Would you let me watch?”
“God, you pig. I'd never lez out with your ex.” She chuckles and sits, taking the glass of wine I hand her.
“That's fine with me. She wasn't that good in the sack.” I shrug and finish making up my burger. “If you ever lezzed out with anyone, can I watch?”
“Chase's wife?” She locks her eyes on me.
“I'll text him right now. Might get a little awkward because no way is he laying eyes on you, but we'll figure out the logistics.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and Affton laughs one of those real laughs I crave.
Grabbing my phone, she holds it in her hand. “That's never happening. Have you ever...” She starts scrolling through my phone. “Had a threesome?” Her eyebrow cocks while she glances up at me, but she's focused on my phone again.
“What're you doing, Affton?” I watch her carefully but she's so focused on my phone it's like she doesn't hear me. “Bean!” I say louder then laugh when she looks at me like she's innocent as fuck. “What's goin' on over there?”
“Nothing.” She sets my phone on the table and when I glance at the screen, I see she found my private picture file.
“Beany,” I growl. “Why?”
“Why what?” She smirks. “Hey, you didn't answer me. Have you had a threesome?” She sips her wine before picking up her fork.
“Does it matter?” I lock my phone screen and shove it in my pocket. I'm not ashamed of it, but I feel like answering this question is going to bring on other shit I don't want to talk about. I want to talk about us. Not all the other girls.
“Matter? No. I'm just curious if you've ever seen girls lez out in person.”
I nod, taking a drink of my beer. I keep nodding when her eyes go wide. “Still ain’t as good as picturing you and another chick, I'll tell ya that.” I smirk.
“You can't say that when you have no proof. What about a threesome with another man?” When she reaches for her wine, I notice a slight shake to her hand.
“Yep,” I mutter quietly.
Her eyebrows raise. “With..?”
“Does that part matter?” I grin at her and bring my beer to my lips again. I don't care if she knows or not, but it's fun making her fish for what she wants.
“Oh, it matters. And I'm assuming that means I know him.” Leaning forward, she whispers, “Chase?”
I bark out a laugh. “Hell no. He's...no.” I laugh harder, setting my beer down and leaning forward to meet her gaze. “Grant.” I keep my face like stone and watching her reaction. It's nothing that we hide, the fact we like to share girls every now and again, but it's also not something I walk around telling people.
“I knew it!” she screams in excitement and jumps up from her chair, doing a little happy dance. “Oh my god! I knew it! Tommy!” She's giggling like a little girl. “So like...” She clears her throat. “Are you bisexual?”
I lean back in my chair, my eyes still on her tits and I'm sad this little dance of hers didn't last longer than that.
“Nah,” I say, shrugging. “We both enjoy women. Where's the wrong in having a little fun?” I smirk. “And no, Beany, I don't daydream about my best friend.”
She snorts a laugh. “God, I knew it.” While she grins at me I chew on the inside of my cheek, watching her like I can't get enough. She's only the second person I've ever told that too but her reaction made it all worthwhile.
“What about you, Affton? What type of wild shit did you do once you left here?”
She takes two gulps in a row then sets her glass down. “Where do I begin? My life...you know me...was wild. I would spend hours.” Her tone lowers and her gaze locks on mine. “Hours,” she practically moans. “Behind a desk staring at a computer screen, working. Shit would get wild, Tommy. You really missed out.” She fans her face before grinning at me.
“You play real fuckin' dirty, Ms. Hart.” I chuckle and adjust myself, clearing my throat. “I guess farm life is where it's at.”
“Apparently. All the whores a guy could want.” She smiles, but it's not real, before her focus is on her food again.
“All the whores a guy could have,” I correct her. “Not the one he wanted.”
“Excuse you!” she shrieks and drops her fork.
I laugh. ”I mean, you're not a whore.”
She shoves her chair away from the table and starts to clean up with a speed to her I haven't seen before.
“Wait, Beany.” I’m still laughing, stopping her with my hand on her arm. “I just meant... I didn't want them like I wanted you.” I wince because I can't seem to get the words right tonight.
“You had me and I'm not sure I was good enough.” Her fingers curl around my shirt at my stomach, stopping me from pulling away.
“You were always too good, Beany,” I whisper then slam my lips to hers. The sweet taste of wine still on her tongue and I couldn’t pull away even if I tried.
My hands roam to his hair, sliding to the back of his head and I push into the kiss. It's been so long since I've been kissed like this I almost don't remember how to follow along.
A familiar ringing sound makes me jolt and I pull away, remembering why I shouldn't be kissing the man that could easily be making me fall for him all over again.
“That's my phone,” I pant, my forehead pushed to his chin.
“That it is.” His voice is gravelly. He pushes my head up and smirks at me. “It can wait, don't you think?” His thumb traces my lips and his eyes narrow. “This is too good to walk away from, Beany.”
He's not wrong. But this isn't right. I'm not in love with, and I feel no love toward my husband. But I'm legally committed.
“Shit.” I pull away and shake my head. When I look at him, he looks hurt and that makes me feel worse. “Just...give me time.” I nod to my own request, begging him in my head to help me through this. Whatever this might be.
“Yeah.” He drops his hands from me and shoves them in his pockets. “I understand. I'm a fairly patient man, Bean. Not sure if you knew this but I once waited three days outside the Kum and Go for the new flavor of Doritos.”
I snort out a laugh, not surprised he makes me feel the way he does. Like everything's going to be okay.
“Was it worth it?” I ask and start loading the dishwasher.
“Every last second.” He leans down and stops me, putting his hand on my arm. “You cooked. I clean.”
“Team work?” I offer and walk to the table, helping to clear it.
I'm not sure what to do, or say, but I don't want anything to ruin our evening. It's like there's a loaded gun between us and when it fires, all of this could end, and I don't want that. But I'm not sure what I want.
After he turns on his favorite country station, we move in sync like we've been doing this for years. We haven't said much in the past hour, but everything's cleaned and he's pouring me more wine.
“So Ginnie.” I stare outside at the lone goat. “Why only one?”
“I had plans on adding another one. It was all lined up.” He shrugs and takes a seat at the table next
to me. “But other things came up that were more important than goats. She needs a friend though. Brandt's got a doe that's about ready to give birth. Maybe I can talk him out of one of those.” The grin he's wearing is genuine, like he actually loves his job and the animals.
I can't help but laugh and when he cocks his eyebrow, I feel bad and reach across the table, taking his hand. “I think it's adorable you love animals. And you're a goat dad.” I rub his hand before sliding mine away again.
“Should I get a shirt? Would you still hang out with me if I wore a Goat Dad shirt around town?” He takes a drink of his beer and laughs at the expression on my face.
“I still hung out with you when you rocked that mullet and creep stache the year you graduated. That was fucking rough.” I laugh hard remembering how hard he tried to look like a creep.
He barks out a laugh and groans. “That was such a bad year. So many regerts,” he says in a dumb voice. The room falls silent and when I glance over at Tommy he's staring out the window.
“Hey.” I grab his hand again and hook our pointer fingers. “What's on your mind?” There are a million things on mine.
I really hope he knows what he's doing when he admits the feelings he did earlier tonight. If there's one thing I'm guilty of doing when it comes to Tommy, it's that I go along with damn near everything he thinks is a good idea. And I'll be the first to admit, he had a ton of bad ideas when we were kids, but I was right there alongside him.
“You wanna get out of here?” He finally looks over at me. “It's a beautiful summer night. Let's teach you how to be a country girl again.”
“What do you have in mind?” I pop up, ready for an adventure.
“Want to take the truck for a spin in Kenshaw's field?” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Test the ropes a bit, see how much it's like ridin' a bike?” His eyes go wide. “Or we could take a ride on my bike!” His smile's somehow bigger now, like a kid on Christmas morning.
I chuckle and stare toward the front door. “I haven't been on a bike since your dirt bike fifteen years ago.” I glance at him and outstretch my hand. “If you really think my ass will fit.”
