by Laura Kaye
Her eyes went glassy and she smiled.
Brady kissed every part of her bump, needing his hands and lips on her, needing her peach scent in his lungs, her softness easing his hardness.
Joss shifted her legs. “Brady.”
He turned to her, the tone of her voice beckoning. Her mouth hung open. Her chest rose and fell quickly. The green of her eyes scorched him.
Instantly, his body was right there with her. He shook his head. “I wasn’t trying to—”
“I know. But I’ve really missed you.”
“Jesus, Joss. Are you sure? I don’t want you to think I only—”
“Don’t you want to? Anymore?”
The uncertainty in her voice hauled him up to her. He kissed her mouth, his cock punching against his jeans. “I ache I want you so much. I will always want you. Don’t you ever question it.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“I just want you to be sure. I don’t want you to…regret anything.” The memory of the last time he’d used that word with her stuck in his throat like a shard of glass.
She traced her fingertip over his brow, down his temple, across his cheek, like maybe she was memorizing the contours of his face. “Brady, you’re going to make mistakes. And I’m going to make mistakes. You know? We don’t have to be perfect at this. So, I’m sure. I want you.”
The breath rushed from his chest. “I want you, too. So much.”
Their clothes came off in a rush, Joss’s surprised laughter at his lack of boxers filling his chest with a healing warmth.
“You know what I just realized?” Joss asked.
“What’s that, sweetness?” He pressed a lingering kiss over her heart.
“We finally made it to a bed.” She grinned.
“Yeah. We did. And that means I finally get to take my time with you.” Brady’s brain filled with plans and desires. He scooted her into the center of the bed and sat on his knees between her legs.
He massaged her feet, her calves, her thighs. And then he started over again at her toes with kisses. He treated her belly to another round of worship before working his way up to her breasts. He kissed and licked and sucked her nipples into his mouth, reveling in every single one of Joss’s moans and squirms.
He cupped a breast in his hand and feathered his thumb over her nipple. “These are bigger,” he said, kissing her again and waggling his eyebrows like a cartoon villain.
Joss rolled her eyes but laughed. “See, there’s a silver lining after all.”
He dragged his body over hers, aligning their gazes. “You’re the silver lining, Joss. That I actually get to have a chance with someone like you. And that you’re giving me the family I never thought I’d have. That’s the silver lining.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Make love to me.”
The words settled into every cell in Brady’s body, remaking him, or making him better, for her. “God, yes.”
He lowered his weight to her body, but held himself up on his elbows. His cock nestled against the soft hair and enticing heat between her legs. He rocked himself against her, grinding the steel of his length into the nerves at the top of her sex. She gasped and moved her hips in time with his movements, her knees drawing up, her thighs falling open.
“Brady,” she rasped. “You’re going to make me come.”
He smiled down at her. “Good.”
“I want to come with you in me.”
Her words washed every bit of his willpower right down the drain. He drew his hips back, aligning himself. Then he sank into her, inch by slow, deep inch.
“Fuuuck.” He groaned, overwhelmed by how good she felt. How good he felt with her. “Wrap your legs around me.”
Her arms and legs came around him, holding, comforting. He grasped her shoulders for leverage as he worked himself in and out of her tight, slick heat. He rolled his hips, grinding against her clit and then sinking deep before pulling almost all the way out again. It was torturous and so damn good. The way she clung to him. The way she breathed his name. The way she made him believe again.
“I love you,” he whispered against her temple.
She gasped and then she was holding her breath, her body tightening around his.
“God, yes, sweetness. Give it to me.” His strokes moved harder, faster.
Her head reared back into the mattress, her mouth dropped open, and she moaned, long and low, her body squeezing him like a fist over and over again.
Brady snapped. He hooked an arm under one of her knees, opening her farther, and chased down the end of the storm roiling through his body.
“Oh, oh, fuck. Joss,” he groaned, his orgasm nailing him in the back and forcing him into her in an unrelenting series of quick, deep strokes. Even after he’d spilled his release, he continued to move, softly, reverently. Despite the force of his orgasm, he was mostly hard within her.
She gave him a warm, affectionate smile and ran her hands over him.
Jesus. Is this what it’s like? Is this how it feels for everyone? He dropped a kiss to her forehead, the corner of her eye. “I never want it to end, Joss.”
“It doesn’t have to.”
He captured her mouth with his, sealing the promise between them. She had given him so much—a chance at peace and happiness, a family, herself. Well, everything but the words. Maybe he shouldn’t want them as badly as he did. But he felt the weight of passing time acutely. Every day they remained apart was one day closer to the end of his stateside tour. And now that he had her in his arms again, he wanted it all, with her. Still, he’d have to be patient. He could be patient. For her.
Finally he withdrew and laid his long frame tight against the side of her body. He might’ve dozed off for a while when she roused him to go to the bathroom. They redressed, him in boxers and her in her T-shirt and panties, and climbed under the covers in the quiet darkness.
He pulled her back against his front, tucking his knees up against her thighs and his hand around her belly.
“Know what I was wondering?” he asked.
“No, what?”
“How did you know the trivia about my dog tags? That first day.”
She chuckled. “It wasn’t as impressive as it seemed. Military recruiters give presentations at the center several times a year. Some of our kids enlist because they can’t afford to go straight to college. I’ve gotten to know some of them and picked a few things up.”
“Hmm. Know what else I wondered?”
“Nope,” she said, humor in her voice.
“Why ‘courage’?”
“Oh. It’s an E.E. Cummings quote. ‘It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.’ I first read it in eighth grade. It always helped me remember to be who I was, and not who other people thought or wanted me to be. I got that tattoo right before my freshman year of college. I was finally on my own, and I didn’t want to forget.”
Fierce admiration of her flowed through him. “Are you the birds?” He kissed her back.
“Yes,” she said quietly.
“And did they find their freedom?”
Joss gasped and turned her head toward Brady. “How did you know that?”
“My childhood wasn’t great either,” he said.
She kissed him and settled back into the pillow. “Did you find your freedom, Brady?”
Soul-deep certainty made him squeeze her. “I have, now.”
They were quiet for a long moment. He wondered if she’d fallen asleep. “Hey, I have an idea,” came her soft, tired voice.
He nuzzled against her neck. “What’s that?”
“Want to go on a date with me?”
He chuckled. “We kinda went about this ass-backward, didn’t we?”
“Maybe a little. So?”
“Let me think about it. Umm, yes.” She elbowed him, and he kissed her cheek. “You just name it, sweetness. And I’ll be there.”
Chapter Sixteen
Joss spent every non-working moment of the next th
ree weeks with Brady. True to his word, he’d agreed to everything she suggested, and he even planned a couple dates himself. They went to the movies and discovered a common love of action flicks and thrillers. On nights when she didn’t have him over for dinner—she loved cooking for him—they took turns introducing favorite restaurants to each other. They went into the city for the lighting of the National Christmas Tree and stood wrapped around each other near the fire as they listened to the carolers sing. And Brady even accompanied her on some of the evening errands she had to run to pick up donations for the auctions.
When she met Alyssa for lunch to discuss the fund-raiser, she suggested they both bring the guys along. She and Aly had taken turns telling the story of the day they’d talked. Joss had worried that Brady would be upset with one or both of them, but the moved look of appreciation he’d worn as he thanked Alyssa was a sight Joss would never forget.
The only thing that had detracted from their intense, whirlwind time together in the slightest was Joss’s inability to verbally express her feelings for him.
She was so frustrated with herself. She knew how she felt—she loved him. It wasn’t even a question. And she was just totally amazed at how expressive and open he’d been with her ever since the night of their reunion.
That night, she’d still been too scared to actually say what she felt. And then she’d been so overwhelmed by his devotion and attention. And every day since that had passed made it harder to say the words. The weight of not saying them closed off her throat every time she tried to speak. She’d totally psyched herself out and couldn’t get unpsyched.
Brady showed her nothing but acceptance and appreciation. He deserved the same from her. He deserved the words.
As she dressed for the center’s holiday fund-raiser, Joss resolved to tell him tonight. For the past week, he’d thrown himself into selling admission and raffle tickets, and even gathered a few last-minute items for the silent auction. Some of the guys from his office would be attending the party, and she was looking forward to the opportunity to get to meet them.
Her front door opened and closed. “Joss?” Brady called, his keys jingling.
“I’m upstairs. Can you help me?”
He jogged up the steps.
She got in a good, long ogle of him in his dress uniform. Damn, the boy cleaned up good. “You look very nice.”
He grinned. “Ah, the uniform works for you, does it?”
She chuckled. “Always. I can’t wait to see it on the floor later.”
“How important is this party again?” Brady pushed his hips into hers. “Because I can be convinced to keep you in bed all night long.”
Smiling, she turned in the circle of his arms and made sure her bottom brushed against his erection. He groaned. “Very. Now, would you zip me up?”
She had managed to find a beautiful ivory gown with an empire waist that flattered her growing figure. The scoop neck and elbow-length sleeves gave it a vintage feel she loved, so she’d had her hair done earlier in the day in a classic updo that created surprising twists of pink within the dark brown.
Dragging his finger up her spine, Brady slowly zipped her gown. “Stay right there,” he said. A moment later, his hands came in front of her and settled a chain against her throat.
“Brady,” she gasped. “What did you do?”
He hooked the clasp and kissed her neck. “It reminded me of the pink in your hair.”
Joss stepped into the bathroom, her gaze immediately drawn to the sparkling emerald-cut pink sapphire. “Oh, my God. It’s gorgeous, Brady. Thank you. I can’t believe you did this.”
His gaze met hers in the mirror. He shrugged. “You look beautiful.”
She turned and kissed him, the words pinging around inside her like a pinball.
“Ready to go?” he asked, offering her his arm.
He drove them to the luxury hotel where the event was being held, and Joss thanked the weather gods that the flurrying earlier in the day hadn’t turned into full-on snowstorm. She didn’t want anything to prevent the event from being a huge success for the center.
The banquet room hosting the event was beautifully festive. Of its own accord, the hotel decorated the room with a mammoth, ceiling-high Christmas tree in the center of the room and smaller but equally elaborately decorated trees in the corners. Thickly ornamented evergreen garland hung across every doorway. At one end of the long room stood rows upon rows of silent auction tables, and a few early birds moved up and down between them and added their names to the clipboards to bid on the more than one hundred fifty items she’d managed to collect. A stage dominated the other end of the room and the band played lively holiday music. A lavish buffet of entrees and desserts ran along one wall, and tables filled the middle of the space. Near the central tree sat a huge red velvet chair for Santa, wrapped gifts piled on each side.
Why is the chair empty? Where is Santa?
Joss turned to Brady. “I need to find Nina. Come with me?”
He kissed her hand. “Of course.”
“Hi, Miss Joss,” came again and again from a few of the center’s kids who had already arrived. They got to come to the party for free thanks to the hotel’s generosity. Center families also received reduced ticket prices. It was a night out unlike what many of the kids ever had the chance to experience otherwise, and Joss loved seeing the girls in their velvet and taffeta dresses and the boys with their hair combed down and wearing ties each year.
She said quick hellos to each of the children and greeted their parents, promising to catch up with them again during the party.
“Finally,” she said as she spotted her director, Nina Johnson, huddled in the corner with Christina and a hotel manager. She joined them and made introductions. “Have we heard from Santa? He’s not here yet.”
Nina frowned. “Santa canceled a half hour ago. The flu.”
Joss’s stomach sank to her toes. “What are we going to do?”
“Javier has been making some calls for us, but it’s Saturday night two weeks before Christmas.”
Javier tilted his head, sympathy warming his eyes. “I have not been able to find another available Santa.”
“Brady,” a voice called. Both he and Joss turned. Alyssa and Marco were crossing the room.
“I’ll be right back,” he said.
Joss nodded. “We have to have a Santa. That’s the highlight for the kids.” She looked over her shoulder to see Brady standing with Alyssa, Marco, and several men she didn’t know.
“Would you like me to keep trying?” Javier asked. “Perhaps a costume rental shop would have a Santa suit available and you could find a volunteer?”
Joss and Nina exchanged glances and they both nodded. “Yes, please, keep trying,” Nina said. “And checking on a Santa suit would be a great Plan B.”
“I’ll get right on it. You have my number if you need me before I check back in.” Javier gave a quick bow and departed through a service door.
“Don’t panic,” Nina said. “People are just starting to arrive. We have time to figure something out. A little, anyway.”
“Something will work out,” she said, willing herself to believe her own words. Brady waved Joss over to his group of work friends, judging by the impressive collection of military dress uniforms. With Brady stood two more army guys and one marine.
He grasped her hand and pulled her next to him. “Gentlemen, this is Joss Daniels. Joss, this is Victor Keith, Danny Fernandez, and Bobby West.” She shook each of their hands in turn and said hello. “This man right here,” Brady said with a big smile as he clapped Bobby’s shoulder, “is your unlikely looking elf for the evening.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, trying to focus on the conversation while worry squeezed her gut.
“Bobby works with the Toys for Tots program.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. Some of our families apply to it. But what does—”
“I understand you’re in need of a Santa suit,” Bobby said.
/>
She gasped. “You have one?”
“I know someone who does. It’s on its way.”
She squealed and hugged Bobby. “You totally are my elf. I’m going to find a way to thank you for this.”
Bobby grinned. “No need, ma’am. I’m glad I can help.”
She turned to Brady. “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He smiled and Joss could swear his chest puffed up. “I’ll hang here with the guys and we’ll keep an eye out for the suit to arrive. I’ll find you as soon as it does. So go do the things you need to do and don’t worry.”
“Okay. I will. Thank you. Oh, where did Alyssa and Marco go?”
“Looking at the silent auction, I think.”
Joss nodded and pushed onto tiptoes to give Brady a quick kiss. He caught her shoulders and held her a moment longer. She pulled away laughing. Then she ran to tell Nina the good news and see what other fires might need putting out.
…
Brady emerged from a stall in the men’s bathroom. “Don’t say a word.”
Bobby, Victor, and Danny all burst out laughing.
“Yes, Sergeant Santa,” Victor chortled.
Brady glared and turned toward the mirror. Aw, hell. The Santa suit had arrived, and Brady’d had a momentary lapse in cognitive function wherein he decided it would make the most sense if he donned the costume and saved Joss the stress of finding a volunteer. But now…
“I’m the least convincing Santa there ever was,” he said.
Bobby tried not to laugh but failed. “Put this on next,” he said, handing him a big furry blob. The beard. Elastic bands looped around his ears. The mustache was attached and filled with wire that could be shaped over the lip. Next came the wig. Brady settled it over his head, which was easy since his hair was so short. Finally, Bobby handed him the cap and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses filled with fake lenses.
“Uh, we have a problem,” Brady said. His dark eyebrows now stuck out like a pair of inchworms crawling across his forehead.
Bobby held up a tube. “We have a solution.” He uncapped it and leaned in.
“What in the hell?” Brady grumbled, glaring at Victor and Danny as they stretched to watch Bobby work.
