by S. H. Kolee
"Why not? My parents don't mind."
My mind rebelled against the thought of sleeping in the same bed under his parents' roof. It wasn't that I had a problem sharing a room with Simon, considering I had slept over at his apartment plenty of times. But the thought of his parents thinking we were fooling around in his room made me blush hotly.
"Because...because your parents will think we're doing stuff in here."
A smile was dancing across Simon's face. "Stuff like what?"
"You know!" Simon merely raised an eyebrow. I groaned in frustration and exclaimed, "Sexual stuff!"
Simon burst out laughing. "So what? We're both adults."
"It's just embarrassing." I sighed. "I know, I know. I think I'm stunted in the dating department. In terms of relationships, I'm still progressing through the junior high stage."
Simon wrapped his arms around me, kissing me lightly on the nose. "It's okay. I like the junior high stage." He quirked his mouth as he thought over his words. "That sounded weird. I meant I like you at any stage, not that I like junior high girls."
I laughed, hugging him back. "I know what you meant."
Simon nuzzled my ear, his breath warm against my skin. "We don't have to do anything in my parents' house that makes you uncomfortable. I just need to have you in my arms at night to know that you're safe."
I melted against Simon, his words so intoxicating that I almost felt drunk. "I love you, Simon."
Simon nipped my earlobe, sending a shudder through my body. "You're my world, Caitlin. Don't ever forget that."
I forgot about being in his parents' house when his lips met mine, coaxing my mouth open with languid sweeps of his tongue. His hands slipped under my shirt, gently brushing my sides, his thumbs grazing the bottom of my bra every time they swept up. My nipples hardened in response and my body felt like it was on fire.
"So sweet," Simon muttered against my mouth. "I can never get enough."
This time I was the one that increased the pressure, kissing him with wild abandon as our tongues mated. I whimpered when his thumbs slipped under the bottom of my bra, stroking the undersides of my breasts. I pressed my hips against his, gratified by the evidence that he was enjoying this as much as I was. I made a sound of protest when he pulled away.
Simon's eyes were dark with desire as he looked down at me, but he smiled wryly. "Any more of that and we'll never make it to dinner."
I knew at that moment that I wanted to make love to Simon more than anything in the world. It was an inopportune time since we were at his parents' house, but the need to share my body with him was overwhelming.
"Simon," I started shakily, taking a deep breath. "I know I've wanted to take things slow."
Simon nodded, lovingly caressing my face. "And I'm okay with that."
I shook my head, trying to make him understand. "But I don't want to go slow anymore."
I saw a flare of excitement in Simon's eyes but he merely asked in a steady voice, "What exactly do you mean?"
There was no turning back now, so I gathered all my courage. "I mean, I want you to make love to me."
Simon's arms around me tightened and I felt the full effect of my words on the lower half of his body. His eyes were blazing with desire but he gave me a half-smile. "You have no idea what that means to me. I want you so badly it's killing me. But I don't want the first time I make love to you to be in my parents' house. I don't want to have to worry about being quiet. I want to hear you say my name the first time I slide inside you. I want to hear you cry out when I make you come."
I gulped, his words bringing to mind an imagery that was hard to dismiss. Even though I felt the desperation to join our bodies together, I knew what he was saying made sense. The last thing I wanted was for our first time to be hampered by the fear of being overheard. Especially since it would be my first time ever.
"You're probably right." I bit my lip, getting ready for the plunge. I didn't know why I was so nervous about telling Simon that I was a virgin. I didn't think he would think any less of me because of it. It just made me feel so painfully vulnerable. "There's one more thing you should know. It'll be my first time."
I didn't think it was possible but Simon's eyes blazed even hotter. "You mean, you've never had sex before?"
I nodded my head in affirmation, feeling myself flush. Simon crushed me in his arms, holding me so tightly I could barely breathe.
"Baby, you don't know what that means to me. To think that I'll be your first. That you're all mine." Simon trailed kisses up my neck, tracing the edge of my jaw with butterfly touches. When he looked at me, the intensity of his eyes took my breath away. "Mine," he repeatedly softly. "You belong to me. Only me."
I nodded helplessly, knowing that he was right and not caring about the triumphant gleam in his eyes. He kissed me fiercely, pressing his body against mine. I felt an overwhelming sense of elation when he murmured against my mouth, "And I belong to you."
I couldn't tell you how long we kissed, but when we broke apart we were both breathless. The corner of Simon's mouth lifted ruefully.
"As badly as I want you, your first time definitely can't be here. I want it to be special. Just be forewarned—when we get back to Rochester I'm not going to keep my hands off of you."
I giggled, my laugh sounding foreign to my ears. It sounded almost coquettish, a feeling that I was unfamiliar with.
Simon glanced down at himself and then smiled at me wryly. "We need to do something a little less arousing. Otherwise I'm going to be a little obvious at dinner."
The thought of Simon's parents seeing his state and knowing that I was the cause of it made me step back. "Good idea. Are you sure you can't fit in a cold shower before dinner?"
Simon grinned and took my hand, leading me to the couch in his room. It still amazed me how big his bedroom was, almost looking like an entire apartment except for the lack of a kitchen.
We watched TV until it was time to go downstairs. I was thankful that Simon's state of arousal had lessened by the time we stepped into the dining room.
Simon's parents and Kendra were already sitting at the table. Simon's father stood up to greet me and I was surprised when he gave me a kiss on the cheek. While he had always been polite, he had never shown me any affection.
"It's good to see you, Caitlin," he said after he stepped back.
"Thank you for having me over for Thanksgiving," I replied shyly. Simon guided me to a seat and sat down next to me.
I blanched when Mr. Crewe winked at me, taken aback by his gesture. "I have a feeling that if you didn't come here for Thanksgiving, Simon would be in Philadelphia right now."
I smiled at his sentiment. "Actually, if I wasn't here I would be at my roommate's house in Westchester. I go there for most of the holidays."
Mr. Crewe frowned at me as Maxine entered and placed platters of pot roast and potatoes on the table. "You don't spend the holidays with your father?"
"Not really. He's usually busy and it's easier for both of us if I just go home with Sarah." There was no way I was discussing my dysfunctional relationship with my father with Simon's family. Simon's father frowned, but he was momentarily distracted as he thanked Maxine. Unfortunately, he then focused his attention back to me.
"Your father must get lonely without you. I'm happy you're here with us, but I'm sure he'd appreciate you spending the holidays with him."
"Dad," Simon said in warning voice. "Drop it."
Mrs. Crewe put a hand on her husband's arm before he could respond. I didn't see the look that passed between them, but I had a feeling that she knew more about my relationship with my father than Mr. Crewe. Mr. Crewe just nodded, letting the topic go, and Kendra changed the subject by talking about a girl in her class getting breast implants. Both her parents were so appalled by the idea that they immediately forgot about what we had been talking about.
"Sorry," Simon whispered, squeezing my hand. I gave him a smile to reassure him that I was okay, although the topic of my
father had dampened my mood a little. I wondered what he was doing for Thanksgiving. I remembered how anguished he had sounded when he had finally revealed the circumstances of my mother's death. Was I being selfish by never spending the holidays with him? Yet it was so hard to withstand his criticisms and harsh words that made me feel like less than nothing.
I made myself clean my plate although my appetite had vanished. I participated in the conversation when a direct question was asked of me, but otherwise I kept quiet. I felt Simon glancing at me throughout dinner but I didn't look at him, afraid that I would start crying if I saw the sympathy in his eyes. I didn't know why I was feeling so melancholy about my relationship with my father now, when I had spent so many holidays without him with no problem.
After dinner, Simon and I went up to his room under the guise of watching a movie. Simon pulled me into an embrace as soon as we closed his bedroom door behind us.
"Sorry about my dad. He can be a bit insensitive sometimes."
I shook my head as I burrowed deeper into Simon's arms, breathing deeply as his warmth and scent soothed me. "It's okay. He doesn't know that my relationship with my father is practically non-existent unless he wants to criticize me about something."
Simon kissed my forehead. "Let's forget about it and watch a movie."
We settled on Coming to America, wanting a funny mindless movie that was comforting with its familiarity. Simon turned off the lights and we stretched out on the couch together, my back against Simon's front.
It was hard to concentrate on the movie with Simon so close, especially with his arm wrapped around my waist. His hand had drifted underneath my shirt and he was stroking my stomach lazily, the absent-minded gesture igniting flames in my body. I willed myself to pay attention to the movie but it became harder and harder as Simon's hand methodically rose higher, moving with more purpose.
His breath was warm against my neck and I heard a barely perceptible change in his breathing, sounding more labored. My own breaths became shallow as he stroked higher until the rough pads of his fingers were caressing the undersides of my breasts. Simon gently pulled my bra up so they were freed from the confines of the cups, feeling heavy with arousal. A shudder went through my body when he caught a hard nipple and rolled it between his fingers.
I shifted so I was on my back as Simon hovered over me, his face tight with desire. I reached up and grasped his neck, pulling him down to meet my eager mouth.
Simon continued the sensual assault on my nipple as he devoured my mouth. I threaded my hands in his hair as I matched his passion, my mouth open wide as we kissed ravenously. Simon threw one leg over mine and shifted so that he was lying on top of me, never breaking contact with my mouth. He was now able to use both his hands and I felt shafts of desire slicing through me as he pinched and pulled my hard peaks, making me arch my hips against his. The weight of Simon's body pressing me into the couch was thrilling and I wantonly spread my legs so that his lower body settled between them.
My mewl of protest when he broke the kiss turned into a moan of pleasure as his lips made their way down my neck, trailing openmouthed kisses to my collarbone. I tensed in anticipation when he shifted down so that he could reach my nipple, pleasure radiating from the hard nub when he replaced one of his hands with his hot mouth.
I felt mindless with desire as he suckled roughly on my breast, the other still being manipulated by his hand. At that point, I would have let Simon do anything. I had already decided to give him my body and I wasn't about to let something as pesky as being in his parents' house stop us.
That's why I growled with frustration when Simon pulled back, breathing hard with heavy-lidded eyes.
"Don't stop," I whispered.
Simon gave me a pained smile and dropped a kiss between my breasts before pulling my bra back into place and smoothing my shirt down. "I remember promising to make your first time special. Doing it on a couch with Eddie Murphy in the background, never mind with my parents downstairs, does not constitute as special, even though it's killing me to stop."
"It's special as long as it's with you. I don't care about anything else."
Simon's eyes darkened and I saw the conflict in them, the desire to consummate our relationship now warring with the need to make my first time more memorable. I knew his noble intentions had won out when he dropped an affectionate kiss on my forehead.
"I feel the same way. But you deserve more than a quick roll on the couch."
I almost pouted when Simon sat up and pulled me up with him, but I settled for snuggling while we watched the movie, knowing that it was just because Simon cared about me. I felt happiness spreading through my chest as I thought about how far we had come in just a short period of time. I hadn't been lucky in many things, but I had definitely been lucky in love.
Chapter Twenty-Five
"Is blood thicker than water?"
It was the voice again. The voice I had heard before in a dream. This time it wasn't as dark and I was able to make out faint shapes in the distance, although I couldn't discern what they were. I heard the sound of moving water and I looked down at the river rushing past me. A cool breeze blew softly, causing goose bumps to rise on my arms.
"Who are you?" My voice sounded reedy and thin.
The voice spoke again, faster and guttural as if the speaker was wracked with a sense of urgency. The words were almost unintelligible as they ran into each other since they were spoken so fast, almost as if a tape was being fast-forwarded. "Which bonds are stronger? Which gives you life?"
Suddenly, the cool breeze turned into a scorching heat, making it hard to breathe. I smothered a scream when I heard the voice again, this time so close that I could feel the hot breath against my neck
"A bond unbroken can be a curse. A watery grave can be a blessing."
I spun around quickly and this time I wasn't able to smother my scream. I screamed until my throat was burning and raw, my mind shutting down at the horrific sight before me.
It was my mother, but she was grotesque as if she were rotting before my very eyes. The flesh on her face was loose and patches of translucent skin were hanging off in strips, revealing the rotted and festering nightmare underneath. Her eye sockets were empty bottomless pits that stared at me unseeingly. Her mouth opened wide, her lips splitting open as she showed me her rotten teeth and bloated white tongue.
My screams stopped abruptly, my throat choking with spasms as if my vocal chords had burst from the pressure of my cries. My body was shuddering so hard that I could feel my teeth rattling against each other. Sheer terror exploded inside me when I saw a swollen hand reach towards me. I could see bone where the flesh had been eaten away. Her fingers dragged down my arm, leaving a trail of slime behind.
Her mouth ripped and gaped open as her jaw worked to speak again.
"You'll understand when it's your time."
Hands on my shoulders were shaking me.
"Caitlin, wake up!"
I sat up violently with a gasp, still feeling those slimy fingers on my arm.
"Easy." Simon rubbed my back soothingly, bringing me back to reality. "Was it a vision?"
"No." I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing pulse. It was a moment before I could speak again. "It was a dream I had before. I think it's warning me, but I don't know what it's warning me about. My mother was trying to tell me something, but she was horrifying to look at. She was bloated and rotted like she was in the middle of decomposing."
"What did she say?"
I shook my head. It was too fresh in my mind to talk about it anymore. Not only had seeing her in that condition scared me, but now I was afraid that it was a sign that she was dead. Was she truly gone and warning me from the beyond?
"Telling me would make you feel better." I looked up at Simon, surprised by the intensity of his expression.
"I can't, Simon. Later. I'll talk about it later."
Simon looked like he wanted to argue but then the muscle in his jaw relaxed and h
e nodded. He eased me back down on the bed and wrapped his arms around me. We lay like that until morning came, although neither of us fell asleep. I was touched that Simon couldn't sleep because he was worried about me, but I still couldn't say out loud the details of my horrific dream.
The house was abuzz with activity for most of the day as Simon's family prepared for Thanksgiving, and we just tried to stay out of the way. Simon's house seemed to be the focal gathering place for his extended family and they were expecting a lot of people for dinner.
I was subdued for most of the day, mulling over my dream again and again, trying to piece together the puzzle. Was the reference to blood about my father? Or maybe my aunt? What bond was unbroken that was a curse? I was convinced a watery grave was about my mother's accident, but how could it be a blessing?
I eventually told Simon everything about my dream, and while he was sympathetic, he asked me not to read too much into it. He was worried that I would just make myself upset. I resented his attitude, but tried to control my temper because I knew he was just concerned for my well-being. And he was right. I was tying myself up in knots trying to figure out the meaning of my dream, obsessively clutching the iridium coin around my neck.
Simon's family started descending upon the house in the late afternoon. I had already met the majority of them when I attended Kendra's birthday party, but it didn't make all the names and faces any less dizzying. I was grateful to see Grant's familiar face as he gave me a big hug.
My mood lifted as the evening progressed. Simon's extended family was boisterous, and I was content to be a spectator although members of his family regularly engaged me in the conversation. Simon stayed by my side, his presence comforting me like nothing else could.
Stuffed full of turkey and all the trimmings, I fell asleep easily that night despite my inner turmoil. I drifted off into a dreamless slumber, Simon's arms around me anchoring me to reality.
