by Nicole Snow
I've got some emergency funds and a hotel room lined up in case it's a disaster.
But hell, who am I kidding? I can't imagine any disaster worse than this last year apart.
Just seeing him again promises to be the best thing that's happened to me since leaving Gary's house of horrors.
There's a uniquely northern crispness in the air when I step outside for the first time to hail a taxi. A pudgy older driver smiles at me with a few missing teeth, and I hop in. It's hard to keep up with the sparse small talk while he takes me down toward the section of the harbor I've asked for.
The trip takes a little longer than I expect. I hand him his cash, get out, and start moving fast. It's bewildering to see the choppy Pacific from a whole new angle, flanked by Mount McKinley and its towering cousins.
I walk fast, trying to keep my wits, searching high and low. I want to see him before he sees me. I can't let him surprise me. I can't just walk back into his life as nothing more than a moving target.
Luck's on my side today. At first, I almost walk right past the hulking man sitting on the pier. It's the tattoos that catch my eye.
Of course it's him, sitting shirtless and magnificent, despite the cool. I recognize the immense stripes flowing down his arms and over his shoulders instantly. When he turns, the tiger on his chest looks at me, as if it remembers how I moaned and shuddered beneath him those hot, unforgettable nights.
My legs ache. It takes everything I've got to move, steer myself toward him.
Ty's arms are folded and his face is an impenetrable mask. But I recognize the cosmic fire in his eyes, the magnetic energy in his baby blues that grabs me by the heart and draws me toward him, step by painful step.
Jesus, I swear he's filled out with new, rugged muscle. That's why I didn't recognize him at first glance. The tight slabs chiseled to his bones are even tighter now, rougher and more natural. He even seems taller.
His eyes are the same, and they draw me into his world instantly.
“Hey,” I say sheepishly, as soon as we're close. I jerk to a stop just outside his reach.
“Hey yourself.” The distance doesn't stop him.
It takes him all of two seconds to close it, and he's right up in my face, so close my blood boils. I don't know whether to jump up and kiss him, or jump off the pier and drown myself in the icy Alaskan waters. The fire roaring beneath my skin blazes hotter than everything I've known before, even the ones he kindled a year ago.
“Cannot fucking believe you're here.” His mask breaks, and he flashes me a big, broad grin.
My body tenses as he lunges forward, throwing his arms around me, lifting me high off the ground to look into his eyes. God, it feels good to touch the sky with this giant. I never forgot how much I missed these arms, but nothing compares to having them around me again.
“Christ, I missed you, babe. It's like seeing spring returning to this God forsaken place.”
My heart flutters. It's hard to speak, my throat's so damned dry. “Ty. I can't believe it either. I can't believe it's you.”
I allow myself to squeeze his shoulders. A million emotions explode in my belly. Anger, fear, love, and lust. It hits my brain at once in a big sloppy wave, and I fight not to pass out.
He tries to move in for a kiss. As much as my body lights up when his skin's on mine, I can't do it. I jerk my head away. He senses the resistance and sets me down, his broad smile fading.
“What the fuck? Don't pretend you haven't been missing these lips all over your body.”
“I have,” I snap, feeling anger gaining the upper hand. “Really. But you don't realize I've missed hearing your voice just as much as feeling your lips. Why didn't you call? Why'd you let us slip apart?”
“Because I fucked up. Twice, Claire.” He takes a pace back, collecting his thoughts, and then he's looking at me again. I don't know if I should melt into a puddle or turn to ice beneath those gorgeous eyes. “Once was thinking I did so much goddamned damage that I had to let you go. My fuck of a dad ruined you, and he did it because of me. I lost half my soul seeing you hurt. Seeing those probes shoot lightning through your body was the worst damned day of my life.”
“Mine too! I was glad to be out of that house – believe me. But you were supposed to come after me. I thought we really had something on the ship that summer. Do you remember the Fourth?” I pause and swallow a hard lump as he nods his head sadly. “You abandoned me, Ty. You didn't keep your promise.”
His eyes flash brighter. “Babe, you didn't let me finish. I fucked up bad, and I'm man enough to say it to your face. My first mistake was running. Mistake number two was thinking I could ever let go. I lied to myself. I thought I could forget you, thought I had to, anything to keep my crazy shit from fucking up your life.”
“Yeah? Then I guess you never understood I wanted it in my life. All of it. I wanted you. You're wrong, Ty, and I can't believe you thought I'd just skip away and get on with my life. Did you really think I'd be able to get over you just as easy?”
My heart thuds. I'm starting to think this is a bad idea, that coming up here at all to confront everything I should just leave behind is stupid. He hasn't changed. He's still the same selfish playboy prince who pulled me to his lips that first night at Club Zing.
“I'm not done yet!” he holds his finger up to my face and gives it a shake.
His whole arm flexes. I can't help remembering what those hands did to me all summer. If they weren't busy running across my body, plunging inside me, prepping me for his dick, then they held on tight while he fucked my brains out.
“Asshole.” It slips out, and I can't stop it. “You're still the same man I met.”
He blinks, and the rage seems to leave him. Ty lowers his hand. “Yeah, babe, I fucking am. That's the point. I'm the blind ass fuck who thought I could be somebody else. I was supposed to remake myself up here, become a blank slate, rip my own heart out and throw it away. I thought I could live with losing you, and the ticket you got in the mail last week's proof I was wrong. I know how bad I fucked up now, and I've come to terms with it. But I can't take back the past and apologies won't do shit. All I'm offering you is to pick up where we left off, babe, knowing like nothing else I'd rather be dead than ever dream of letting you go again.”
I try to step away, but he won't let me. His arms wrap tighter, fuse tight, hook me to his immense slab of a body.
The choice is clear – it's either break down in his arms, bawling like a baby, or hit him as hard as I can and run. This time, there can't be any looking back.
Guess which one I choose.
Ty's face hits my fiery palm, and there's a crack like thunder. I'm so shocked I can't think about moving my feet. He stops the impact dead, and I can feel the heat beneath his stubble, blood rushing in to cover the shock. I'm too stunned by the fact that I've done it to remember how to struggle away from him.
“You got that shit outta your system, or what?” He says coolly.
I shake my head. I don't know. Maybe I feel a little better now, sure, but something tells me I'm never going to get the huge hulking splinter named Ty Sterner out of my heart.
My head starts thrashing side to side. Ty squeezes me so close it hurts, shoves his face against mine, and swallows me with those beaming blue eyes. “What the fuck's the matter? Talk to me!”
“I don't know if I love you or hate you,” I whimper, voice breaking. “You're an asshole because I can't let go, no matter how much you hurt me. Part of me wants to flee, get as far away from you as I possibly can, and never set foot on Alaskan soil ever again. But I can't forget you, Ty. I can't let go. And that hurts more than anything.”
He looks at me, his eyes beaming and amused. I can't look away.
“That's what I thought, babe. We're both fucked – screwed by our own beating hearts in the best way possible. And if this is being held captive, then lock me up and throw away the key. Didn't you hear me the first time? I'd rather be in the fuckin' ground than here without you, e
ven if you're crying and fighting like hell in my arms. We've talked this shit out as far as I'm concerned.”
He isn't wrong. Only problem is, I don't have a clue where we go from here, assuming I don't keel over first from the shame of ripping myself open and exposing it to him like this.
“We good, babe? We got an understanding?”
Very slowly, I look deep into his eyes and nod my head. Everything inside me is way too twisted up to say a word, especially my heart.
“Good. Now, let's shut the fuck up and let our lips say the rest.”
Our first kiss in a year sucks the air from my lungs. His lips lock onto mine and I don't move at first, but it doesn't take long to feel the familiar, unstoppable heat rolling through me in one massive front.
My knees shake. My nipples throb. The V between my legs swells open, wet and empty and aching, screaming for him to throw me down on this dock and fuck me like he did last summer. I don't care if there are cameras watching and we end up all over the internet.
Luckily, that's not likely, considering our little scandal is yesterday's news.
My mouth splits open, and I let his tongue inside. A few seconds later, we're twined, kissing as hungrily as the last night in his old bed, harder and stickier to make sure we never have to miss this again.
We're not just making up for lost time. We're entering our future, and the asshole's right like he usually is.
I can't stop wanting him. I can't let go. I can't pretend I'm not in love.
He made a mistake. He apologized, in his own screwy way. And now I feel the hatred, disappointment, and sadness steaming out my pores, leaving me like pollen after a good hard sneeze.
Ty's hands roam my body. I flatten my hands on his chest and let myself feel him. It wasn't just my imagination earlier – he's even harder now, stronger and more masculine, impossibly developed in a way ninety-nine percent of males on this earth will never be.
Jesus. God help me.
One hand pushes down his washboard abs with a mind of its own. I can't stop myself from moaning into his mouth as I touch the hard ridge rising in his jeans, huge and wanting, just the way I remembered it.
“Damn it, Ty,” I sputter, breaking the kiss for oxygen. “I missed you so fucking much. I missed us.”
“Yeah, I can kinda tell with the way you're squeezing my cock. Keep your panties on a little longer. There's something I gotta do here before we fuck.”
My eyes go wide and crazy as he lets me go and drops to the ground. His knees crack against the old wood hard when he crouches, and at first I can't figure out what the hell's going on.
When the little black box appears in his hand, I almost join him on the pier, and all the blood goes rushing out of my head. The world opens up and goes dead silent, condensed into this moment, with nothing except the churning sea and distant ships.
Not until he opens his mouth and pops the top with his thumb.
“I bought this thing in Lincoln City on the Fourth. It was a perfect fucking day – all except the asshole paparazzi snapping us. I was gonna give it to you before we came up here together, and it was still in my pocket the day our parents tore our world to shit. It's all I had to remember you this past year, and it still counts for a goddamned lot now that you're here.”
“Ty...” I can barely say his name.
He holds up a hand, begging me to stay quiet. “There's a few less diamonds on this thing than I'd like, but it'll do the trick just the same. Marry me, Claire Frost. I want us bound together so tight we'll need an asshole judge to undo us if one of us goes crazy and ever thinks about walking out again. And I know it'll never happen. I need you to be my wife even more than I need you under me right now.”
My heart swoons. The ocean's blustery echoes are like a sharp breeze, and everything starts spinning. I go down, fly through the air, landing in his powerful arms. For a second, I think I'm going to black out, but then everything goes bright and he's staring at me, just as strong and loving as he's always been at his best.
There's my Prince Charming, handsome as he is swoon worthy. Beneath the asshole, the best man I'll ever know and love is still there. I can't even dream about saying no.
“Babe? Shit, are you okay?”
“I'm great,” I say softly, throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him to my lips. “I'm trying to tell you yes, Ty. Let's get married.”
My hand covers his as it holds the ring. We stay just like that, kissing for a long while. His lips speed up as soon as I say the words, pulling the energy from my body.
Great, I guess he's found a new way to leave me breathless without even taking me to bed.
We kiss through sunset before he finally takes his hand off mine and gets the ring out. It's a perfect fit for my finger, a little gold loop with a diamond surrounded by studded seashell fragments, a piece of forever.
“Jesus, Ty.” It's going to take some time to get used to this beauty on my hand, and now's not the time when his lips are all over me. “I love you, love you, love you so much.”
“Love you too, babe. Now, let me show you how deep that love goes somewhere we won't freeze to death.”
Grinning, he helps me up, and we walk to his truck, hand-in-hand. Screw the hotel. We're heading for his condo.
Maybe I can survive the Alaska cold after all.
There's hardly time to take in his new place before our clothes are on the floor. I get a quick glimpse of the living room and kitchen, then I'm in his arms, being carried to the bedroom.
That heavenly smell I remember from his old room in Bellingham engulfs me. If I was wet before, I'm totally soaked now, trembling as my body realizes how badly it needs this, and how long it's been denied.
We're kissing as he pulls me onto the bed with him, dropping me out of my dress. I help undo my bra before I start working on his pants and the shirt he threw on since we got into his truck. Ty joins me with his god-like naked perfection half a minute later.
His cock pops out when his boxers drop, throbbing with long, hard, manly heat. I'd forgotten just how fucking huge he really is. He takes my hand and wraps my fingers around his length – not that I need much urging.
“Fucking shit,” he growls. “Your hand feels ten times hotter with my ring on it.”
Lightning tingles up my spine. I get on my knees and start to suck him, deep and fast. It's a joy to give head to this man after such a long break.
I breathe steady, working him as my own hot cream trickles down my thighs. He fists my hair in one hand and runs a rough finger over my jaw with the other. The callouses on his hands are way thicker than anything I remember, and it makes his touch hotter.
I don't know what the hell he's been through since he moved up here. But he must have suffered, hurt himself on nature's thorns, worked himself raw trying to forget me.
God. My fingers glide down his length to the base and cup his balls as I work my tongue. I wonder how the hell I survived a full year without this.
He lets me suck him for several minutes before he pulls out, giving me a gentle push until I'm lying flat. His hands grip my thighs and pull them apart, making room for his incredible mouth.
“Gush for me, babe. It's been a fucking year. I want your juices all over my goddamned bed by the end of tonight.”
I moan a reply, and then I can't say anything at all as his face moves in. He buries his head between my legs. My clit sings with the first wondrous strokes in more than a year. It's like the thing comes back to life after a long, depressed sleep.
The rare, anxious nights with my bullet vibrator can't hold a candle to him.
Our bodies remember last summer, and it's like it was only yesterday as soon as we're naked. Ty doesn't miss a beat with the way he works me over, sliding his thick tongue up and down my folds, licking me until I'm flushed and steaming carnal heat. My legs hook over his shoulders and dig in.
It's all I can do, besides clawing the hell out of his sheets, to stay sane when he starts sucking my clit. I'm shaking i
n less than a minute.
My climax washes over me in a wave so sudden and sharp, it drowns the past year's longing and turmoil. My heart pounds to the swirl of his tongue inside my pussy, dipping up to draw circles around my clit, making me hum with release.
I come hard. I open my mouth and scream, wondering if he has any neighbors. If he does, they're going to realize there's been a big change in his life soon.
Thank God. I'm so fucking thankful we're together again I can't put it into words. Luckily, our bodies do all the talking, and they've got plenty to say.
Opening my eyes, I regain my vision to him licking the last of my cream off his fingers. The bed sinks beneath his weight as he gets behind me, drawing me on top of his huge body.
My head turns and we kiss. My tongue plunges in and out of his mouth, teasing him and loving it. I want him inside me so bad it hurts. Growling, he fists my hair and brings his lips to my ear, snorting hot breath.
“Open your legs and sink that sweet pussy down on my dick. We're fucking all night, baby. Hope you slept on the flight in. Remember to breathe.”
Yeah, I hope I can, because the rough edge in his voice says he isn't kidding. As soon as my thighs shift apart and I've got my knees over his, he stops rubbing his cock against my ass and shifts position, driving up into me.
My pussy stretches full and pulses pure pleasure, grateful to be filled with the only cock worth fucking. My hips start to buck, sliding up and down his length, pulling him inside me as his thrusts deepen.
Ty locks onto me tight. He holds me down, fucking me so hard my breasts feel like they're going to fly off. Those yoga breathing exercises Mom taught me come in really handy now. It's the only reason I don't pass out when he starts going full throttle, flinging me around like a ragdoll with his thrusts, hammering his dick so hard and deep his balls swing up and slap my skin.
My breasts wobble and roll wild. He covers one with a rough hand and squeezes, all the better so he can fuck me harder, faster, meaner.
He fucks like an animal, and it carries me straight to heaven. I know there's something more behind it too, a feral tenderness I feel when he rubs his stubble across my check, or sucks at the skin on my throat. His teeth nip, hard and playful, one more sensation my body can't handle as it spirals toward overload.
