Stephanie rushed over and strangled him in a hug. “You should’ve told me you were so messed up.”
Josh looked at me over her shoulder, and I gave him my best apologetic face.
“Is your doctor not helping you?” Stephanie rolled on. “I’m sure Dad can find a better one in Boston.”
“My doctor’s helped me a lot.”
“Well, obviously not enough or you wouldn’t be kicking trash cans.”
Josh rubbed his forehead. “It’s been a rough few days.”
“From what Courtney said, it sounds like it’s been more than a few days.” Stephanie grew louder. “Josh, music and skating are your life. You can’t lose those things.”
I winced as that awful possibility paled Josh’s face. He didn’t need Stephanie’s panicky drama freaking him out.
“I’m not going to lose them,” he said quietly.
Stephanie’s mouth stopped running for a minute, and she stood completely still, looking at Josh with concern. When she finally moved, she embraced him again. Just like when we’d been at the hospital, I could see how much Stephanie genuinely cared for Josh. Even if she didn’t always choose the best way to show it.
Josh slowly peeled himself from Stephanie’s arms and turned to me. “We should get back to practice. Everything but the lifts.”
“Yeah, let’s do it.”
“Are you gonna hang out a while?” Josh asked Stephanie.
“I was going to, but Dad called on my way down and he wants the car back sooner. I can only stay a few minutes.”
“We can talk more tomorrow night,” Josh said.
Stephanie took a seat on the bleachers, and Josh and I prepared to take the ice again. I stopped him as we reached the boards.
“I’m sorry I spilled everything to her,” I said. “She caught me at a bad moment.”
“It’s okay. I wouldn’t have been able to pretend everything is fine for long. It’s much easier to do two thousand miles away.”
He took my hand, and we skated over to Em and Sergei. They gave us a new plan for the rest of the session, and we quickly got back to work.
Stephanie watched us intently from the sideline, and I wondered what she was going to say to her parents about Josh’s condition. No doubt she would tell them the news. The only question was how they were going to use that information to make our Christmas dinner even more unpleasant.
****
“I can’t believe Mrs. Cassar gave us such expensive gifts when she’s already given us so much,” I said as I led Josh into Em and Sergei’s kitchen.
“My leather jacket must’ve cost a couple hundred dollars,” Josh said.
I held up my large gift bag. “I know this Kate Spade purse and wallet sure did.”
In addition to the presents, Mrs. Cassar had also insisted on paying for our Christmas Eve dinner. For an elderly woman, she had the reflexes of a teenager. She’d snatched the bill before Josh and I could put up any money.
After taking off my coat, I turned on the TV and tuned to the holiday music channel. Em, Sergei, and the twins had gone to Boston for dinner with Em’s family, so they wouldn’t be home for a while. I plugged in the huge Christmas tree and switched off the living room lamps, so only the tiny white lights lit up the room.
Josh set his duffel bag beside the tree. “It was really great of Em to invite me to stay here tonight… even if I have to sleep in Liza’s room.”
He pinched my waist, and I smiled. Liza was with her mom in New York, so her bed was conveniently available.
I linked my arm through Josh’s. “Em just doesn’t want the twins to see us staying in the same room.”
“Won’t they be asleep with visions of sugar plums in their heads?”
I laughed and stepped out of my high heels. “Knowing Quinn, she’ll talk Alex into trying to sneak a peek at Santa. Sergei better be super stealth down here when he’s eating the cookies and milk.”
We sat on the couch, and I pointed at the mantle above the fireplace. “Did you notice the newest stocking?”
Josh’s eyes fell upon the red one monogrammed with a gold “J.” His face beamed with a huge grin. “That’s for me?”
“You’re part of the family.”
He snuggled me closer to him and rested his cheek against the top of my head. “It’s funny how people I’ve known a year and a half feel more like family than the people I’m actually related to.”
I tilted my neck to look up at him. “Em and Sergei care so much about you, and you know the twins freaking adore you.”
“What about you?” He tapped the tip of my nose. “How do you feel about me?”
I shrugged. “You’re alright, I guess.”
“Alright?” He tickled my side.
I yelped. “I think you need to remind me of my true feelings.”
“Is that so? Well, let’s see if this helps.”
His fingers curled behind my neck and into my hair, raising goose bumps down my spine. He leaned slowly into me, his eyes on mine, and he brushed my lips with a kiss.
“Mmmm… it’s starting to come back to me,” I said.
He lowered his mouth to the curve of my neck, and his hot breath on my skin made me tingle everywhere. I grabbed his tie and clenched it as he kissed his way north to my ear.
“You still think I’m just alright?” he asked huskily.
I shivered and shook my head. His mouth met mine once again, and my heart cried out with all the feelings I had for him. They were so many and so powerful I could never put them into words.
We separated for a momentary breath, and I pressed Josh’s hand to my chest. “Do you feel this? This is what I think of you… what I feel for you. Every crazy fast beat of my heart… all for you.”
I lifted my hand, but Josh kept his over the rapid pounding. He inched down the neckline of my dress and bent his head, touching his lips to my breastbone. My pulse flew into a full sprint.
Lost in a flurry of hot kisses and whispered declarations of love, I forgot where we were until the phone rang and Em’s answering machine greeting picked up. Her voice reminded me we wouldn’t be alone that night.
I reluctantly broke away from Josh’s lips. “As much as I’d love to continue this, we should probably cool down.”
He groaned and tipped our foreheads together. “I’m going to be thinking about you all night.”
“I’ll be the sugar plum dancing in your head?” I giggled.
His mouth crooked into a smile, and he ran his finger lightly down my arm. “Something like that.”
“Why don’t we exchange gifts? That’ll be a good distraction.”
“I thought you were opposed to opening gifts on Christmas Eve.”
I slipped out of his embrace and knelt in front of the tree. “We can start a new tradition. It’ll be too chaotic tomorrow morning with the twins and all their loot.”
Josh went over to his duffel and pulled out a tiny box wrapped in shiny green paper. I shifted a few presents under the tree and plucked Josh’s two gifts from the mountainous pile.
“You have two for me?” he said. “I only have one for you.”
“You gave me all those Secret Santa gifts, which I loved. They were all so thoughtful.” I kissed him as he sat beside me. “Here, open one of yours first.”
I gave him the smaller box, and he removed the wrapping with one tear. He peered curiously at the leather cuff bracelet.
“I know you’ve never worn anything like it, but my mom was making them, and I thought it would look really good on you, so we designed this one together,” I said.
“Your mom made this?” He fingered the black braided leather. “That’s really cool.”
He unbuttoned the sleeve of his dress shirt and rolled up the cuff so he could snap the bracelet around his wrist. It fit almost perfectly over his sinewy muscles.
“It looks hotter than I imagined,” I said, caressing the soft hair on his forearm.
“I’m sold on it, then.” He grinned.
He thanked me with a long kiss and presented me with my gift. “Your turn.”
I made a big production of examining the box from all sides before delicately tearing the paper. It was too pretty to destroy. I peeked up at Josh watching me with anticipation, and I opened the black velvet box, revealing a stunning pair of emerald stud earrings.
“Josh.” I gasped. “They’re gorgeous.”
“I wanted to find something to match your eyes.” He swept a long curl from my cheek. “But it wasn’t easy since your eyes are so beautiful.”
I smiled and skimmed the shimmering stones with my finger. “They’re exquisite. You didn’t have to spend this much on me, though.”
“I wanted to. As soon as I saw them, I knew they were meant for you.”
I quickly removed the dangly earrings I was wearing and slipped the studs into place. “How do they look?”
His admiring gaze warmed me deep in my core. “Perfect.”
I leaned forward and kissed him, and his silky lips returned my thanks and then some. I eventually sat back and picked up Josh’s remaining present, but I hesitated with it in my lap. I’d gotten it months ago and had debated whether I should wait to give it to him. The last thing I wanted was to make him sad on Christmas.
“Is that mine?” he asked with a smile.
I slowly handed it to him. “I hope… I hope you like it.”
He opened the flat box carefully, and his eyes doubled in size when he saw what was inside — the sheet music for “Exogenesis Symphony Part 3,” autographed by all the members of Muse. It was one of our special songs — one Josh played for me all the time. Back when he could…
“How did you—” Josh’s voice stuck. “Where did you get this?”
“Em’s agent knows a guy who knows a guy, and he got it for me when the band had their show in L.A.”
He remained mesmerized, tracing the signatures scrawled on the cover. “This is so awesome. I’m gonna frame it and hang it above my keyboard.”
I let out a breath of relief, but then the light in Josh’s eyes dimmed as he flipped through the pages.
“I wish I could play it for you,” he said.
My chest tightened. That was where I’d been afraid his mind would go.
“I can wait.” I squeezed his hand.
He set the music down and wrapped me in his arms. “You’ve had to do a lot of waiting for me.”
And I would do so much more.
“Hey,” I said softly and faced him. “I know how badly you want to play for me and to fully skate with me. I want you to be able to do those things, too, because they mean so much to you. But all I need from you is what you’ve never stopped giving me — your love.”
Josh swallowed hard, and he brought me tight against his body. His lips buried tiny kisses in my hair.
“That will never stop.”
Chapter Ten
I’d expected the Taj Hotel in Boston to be super fancy from its name, but it managed to exceed my expectations. The marble floor in the lobby looked as if it was polished every hour, and the decor screamed “antique.” The Tuckers knew how to travel in style — I’d give them that much.
“Steph just texted me,” Josh said and read aloud, “‘Mom wants to eat in the suite, so she ordered room service for us.’”
“She probably doesn’t want to be seen with me in the restaurant,” I said.
Josh pushed the elevator button and joined our hands. “If she starts giving you a hard time, we’re out the door.”
“Then we should probably keep our coats on.”
We stepped into the elevator, and I took off my knit hat and combed my frazzled curls with my fingers. No matter how much I told myself I shouldn’t care what Mrs. Tucker thought of me, I always felt self-conscious in her presence. I was especially antsy because I’d be seeing Josh’s dad for only the second time. Our first conversation hadn’t exactly been a heartwarming chat.
Josh knocked on the room door, and Stephanie answered. While she tackled him with one of her many hugs as of late, I walked inside and took in the luxuriousness of the suite. There was a sitting area, a full-sized dining table, and even a fireplace. I’d only seen a hotel room like that on TV.
Mrs. Tucker rose from the gold-colored couch. She wore a fuzzy white sweater and black leather pants, and her solid diamond necklace blinded me from across the room.
“Hello,” she said.
Hello? Even the sales clerk at the gas station that morning had greeted me with “Merry Christmas.” I shifted the bag of gifts I was holding from one hand to the other and put on my cheeriest smile.
“Merry Christmas,” I said.
Her expression remained cool, and she gave me one of her critical once-overs on her way to welcoming Josh. Meanwhile, Mr. Tucker emerged from what I assumed was the bedroom.
“Hello, Courtney,” he said.
Are these people not aware it’s a holiday?
“Merry Christmas,” I said even louder than before.
“Let me take your coat,” he said. “What can I get you to drink?”
Mr. Tucker draped my pea coat over one of the formal chairs in the sitting area, and I eyed the bottle of Scotch on the dining table. A shot of hard liquor could make the evening more tolerable. It would also probably make me say some things I shouldn’t.
“Umm… diet soda, please.”
Mr. Tucker went to the table and poured my soda over ice. “Regular for you, Son?”
Josh stared at the Scotch and the bottle of wine beside it. Even though he’d never had a drink in his life, he was probably having the same thought I’d had.
He lifted his eyes to his dad. “Yeah, thanks.”
“I had a migraine earlier, so I didn’t feel like sitting in a noisy restaurant,” Mrs. Tucker said. “Catering brought up some food for us.”
On the table were a vegetable platter, a cheese and fruit assortment, and some kind of hors d’oeuvre I couldn’t identify. That had to be cocktail food, right? It surely couldn’t be our meal.
“Are we ordering dinner?” Josh read my mind.
“We had a late lunch, so this is all we need,” Mrs. Tucker said as she sat on the couch.
I sipped my drink and picked up a celery stick. Well, I don’t have to worry about putting on any holiday weight.
“Are these for us?” Stephanie poked into the bag we’d brought.
“They’re from Court and me,” Josh said.
“Yours are next to the fireplace.” Mrs. Tucker pointed him to the perfectly-wrapped gifts on the marble hearth.
He picked up the two boxes and looked at all eight sides. “Which is mine and which is Court’s?”
“They’re both yours,” Mrs. Tucker said.
Josh’s mouth hung open. “You didn’t get Court a gift?”
“I didn’t know what she likes.”
“And you couldn’t pick up the phone and ask me?”
Heat spread from my cheeks down to my neck, and I ducked my head. I shouldn’t have been surprised Mrs. Tucker would snub me that way. She thrived on making me feel excluded. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing my disappointment, though.
“It’s okay,” I said quietly.
“No, it’s not.” Josh put his presents on the coffee table. “You can keep these. I don’t want them.”
Mrs. Tucker pursed her lips. “Josh, you’re being rude.”
“I’m being rude?”
Mr. Tucker came over with his Scotch. “We can open the gifts later. Courtney, I apologize for the oversight.”
Josh let out a dry laugh and muttered, “Oversight.”
I sat on the chair that held my coat and gripped my glass with both my sweaty palms. The uncomfortable edge in the room had me shaking inside.
I mi
ght be the one having a panic attack tonight.
“How’s your training for nationals going?” Mr. Tucker asked. “Did you lose much time after the accident?”
Josh and I both looked at Stephanie. She hadn’t run and told everything she’d learned at the rink?
“I thought I’d let you tell Mom and Dad what’s been going on,” Stephanie said to Josh’s shocked face.
“Is there a problem?” Mr. Tucker asked.
Josh lowered his head and stared at his drink. He didn’t like talking about his issues, and having to explain them in the already tense environment had to be a total nightmare for him.
“Josh?” his dad pressed.
“I can’t do the lifts. It’s… it’s a mental thing.”
Mr. Tucker’s brow wrinkled. “What do you mean you can’t do them?”
“I mean my brain won’t allow my body to physically do them,” Josh said in a strained voice.
I reached up to where he stood beside my chair and I touched his arm. I could feel the agitation radiating from him. He would rather walk through hot coals than admit any kind of defeat to his parents.
“So, you probably won’t be competing at nationals,” Mr. Tucker said.
“I think this is happening for a reason,” Mrs. Tucker said. “It’s a sign you’re supposed to leave skating behind and move on with your life.”
Oh my God, she just won’t let it go.
“He can’t play the piano either,” Stephanie said. “What’s that a sign for?”
I did a double-take at Stephanie sassing her mother. Was she really on our side?
Mr. Tucker’s phone rang, and he didn’t hesitate to answer, “Merry Christmas, Paul.”
I guess it’s just me who doesn’t warrant a holiday greeting.
He moved into the dining area, and he laughed in the background as the rest of us observed each other, waiting for the next sharp comment. My money was on Stephanie to deliver.
“Mom, did you hear me?” Stephanie proved me right. “Josh forgot how to play the piano.”
Mrs. Tucker’s phone dinged with an alert, and she also didn’t hesitate to respond to it. Her attention remained on the phone even after she finished typing. Apparently, neither she nor Mr. Tucker thought Josh’s struggles were worthy of their concern.
Losing the Ice (Ice Series #2) Page 8
