"It’s all a blur to me, too," Ryan said. "I only remember trying to find out where a certain blonde was at every possible moment, and keeping my lips on her when I caught her."
"Same problem," Jamie said, as though just having the memory hit her. "Only my fixation was for a gorgeous black-haired beauty with the most incredible blue eyes in the known world."
Ryan leaned across the table, closing those incredible blue eyes as she drew near. They kissed softly for a few moments, just long enough to start a slow fire burning in each of them. "Nice," she sighed as she sat back down in her chair. She placed her elbows on the table and set her chin upon her hands, gazing at Jamie with her best lovesick expression.
"Do you think your team will be as good this year?" the blonde asked.
"Mmm-hmm. I think so. We have our starting pitcher back, and as you know, softball is mostly about pitching. I watched Heather warm up for a while, too, and she has a gun. She’ll be the third pitcher, from what I can tell. That’ll give her a nice opportunity to get comfortable without having too much pressure put on her."
"That sounds perfect," Jamie sighed. "I didn’t even ask, but what position will you play?"
"Well, the first baseman is good, and is the best hitter on the team, but she’s not real agile. I’ll probably be a defensive replacement for her in tight games. I can also help out in the outfield wherever they might need me. I can play second and third, too, but those positions are locked up by seniors, and I don’t expect to get any time there, unless there’s an injury. Looking at the team critically, I’d say I’m probably the first call off the bench."
"Must be some team," Jamie said, knowing that her lover was being modest.
"Yeah … they’re good," Ryan said. "I’ll be happy just to be a part of it. It would be a thrill to get to go to the World Series."
"I know you’ll do everything you can to get there. You’re indefatigable."
"I’m gonna try not to be so indefatigable," Ryan informed her, smiling wryly. "I learned something important playing basketball, Jamie."
"What’s that?"
"I learned that winning isn’t the most important thing." She smiled as she said, "Most people learn that before they’re 24, but I’m a little slow."
"Yeah … that’s how I think of you. Slow and plodding."
"What I mean is that if the basketball team had been undefeated, I still would have hated it. The chemistry sucked, and I hated being the one who everyone looked to when we were behind. That’s not teamwork. As far as I can tell, that won’t happen here. I wanna be one of the guys," she said. "That’s what I’m comfortable with."
"That’s how it is with you and the boys, isn’t it?" the smaller woman asked reflectively.
"Yeah. They’re bigger and stronger, but my speed and my quickness help equalize us. I never dominate when I’m playing a game with the boys. I like that. Now, lord knows I like the limelight. I love to show off. But I don’t like to have to. Do you see what I mean?"
"Yeah, I think so," Jamie said, thoughtfully. "It puts a lot of pressure on you, doesn’t it?"
"It does," Ryan said. "But more than that, I don’t want to be where I’m not wanted. I don’t want to try to force my personality onto a group of people who don’t want it. That’s another thing I learned this winter. I learned that I couldn’t change a team that didn’t want to be changed."
"When did you realize that they didn’t want you?"
Ryan chewed at her lower lip for a moment, trying to be honest with herself. "Before I started practice," she said. "I knew Coach Hayes was gonna be difficult, and I knew that Lynette was giving me fair warning." She looked at Jamie with a sheepish grin and said, "I thought I could change them."
"It must have been hard when you realized that you couldn’t," Jamie mused.
"It was a bit of a blow to my ego. That had never happened before," she said, smiling gently at her partner. "Usually, I’d go onto a team that wasn’t very good and make an immediate impact. Within a few games I’d be the leader, and eventually, we’d start playing as a team." She looked at Jamie and said, "It’d always worked before, and I guess I couldn’t imagine that it wouldn’t work this time. I was a casualty of my hubris."
"That’s one way to look at it," Jamie said. "Another is to acknowledge that something that had always worked didn’t work this time. As a scientist, that should be something that you expect to happen every once in a while, shouldn’t it?"
"I suppose so," Ryan said. "But I want you to know that I did learn something this winter. I learned that it’s the relationships that matter … not the box score."
"That’s true in most areas of life." Jamie said as she moved to her and climbed into Ryan’s lap, straddling her. She bent her head and kissed her thoroughly, smiling to herself as she felt her partner respond enthusiastically.
They were about to head for the bedroom when Mia emerged, dishes washed and put away. "Gosh, look what you two are doing. How rare."
"It’s not what it looks like," Jamie murmured, her lips not more than an inch from Ryan’s. "We’re working on our relationship."
"Hmm …" the brunette mused thoughtfully. "Jordan and I call that foreplay … but the nomenclature isn’t important. Have at it, girls. I’ll give Jordy your regards."
"Hey," Ryan called out as Mia started to climb the stairs. "I’ve got a tournament in Las Vegas in a couple of weeks. See if Jordan is able to fly out and meet us."
"Cool! I’ve never been to Las Vegas!"
"That makes two of us," Ryan said.
"Neither have I," Jamie chimed in, stunning the other two.
"Well, that’s a first!" Ryan said. "I thought you’d been to every place large enough for a zip code. This sounds like the makings of an adventure."
Part 2
"Hey, Mia," Jamie said as she entered her friend’s room on Tuesday morning.
"Hi. Toss me those jeans, will ya?"
Jamie took the jeans from the bed and threw them to her friend. "Wanna play golf with me this afternoon?"
While wriggling into her pants, Mia gave her friend a puzzled look, "Don’t you have your teammates to play with?"
"Yeah, I do, and they’ll be there, but I want you to help me figure something out. Besides, I haven’t had a chance to talk to you in any depth since we’ve both been back. I miss you."
"We do some of our best talking while riding around a golf course," Mia said, smiling. "Yeah, I guess I can do it. I only have one afternoon class today. Will I have to skip it?"
"Well, we play at one …"
"No problem. Where are we playing and what do you want me to help you figure out?"
"We play at Tilden. Be home by 12:30 and I’ll drive. Our goal is to figure out if one of my teammates is hitting on me."
"Ooh! This I’m good at! Is she a hottie?"
"Uhm … she’s actually pretty cute, but I’m not in the market for a replacement. Ryan’s all I want or need."
"Yeah," Mia said, running her fingers through her curls to provide some order, "I think Ryan’s enough for any woman." Mia started to gather her books, saying, "I was thinking about her last night after I spoke with Jordy. Having Ryan as a girlfriend is really a full-time job. She’s a weird kind of high-maintenance girl. You don’t think of her as high-maintenance, since she doesn’t spend a lot of time on her hair or makeup, and she’s always ready to go – but she gets into so damned much trouble that you have to keep an eye on her all the time!"
"That’s my Buffy," Jamie agreed, smiling broadly. "But I love every little trouble-attracting part of her."
The other girls all chose to walk, so Jamie rented an electric cart so that she and Mia could dish while they drove. "Well, what do you think so far?" Jamie asked, after they’d teed off on one.
"She’s cute – definitely cute – at least, I think she is," Mia said. "Could she wear that visor any lower on her face?"
"She likes to concentrate," Jamie said. "And I’m not seeking opinions on her attractiveness,
bud, I want to know if you think she’s gay – and if you think she’s sending vibes my way."
"Oh, lord! Of course she’s gay! Are you blind?"
Jamie looked at the determined young woman again, trying to see her through Mia’s eyes. No matter how hard she tried, Juliet didn’t look one bit gayer to Jamie than any of the other players. "I don’t see it. I honestly don’t."
"How can you not? She oozes lesbianism." Mia gave her a puzzled look, cocking her head while she wrinkled her nose.
"What is it, Mia? What do you look for?"
"I can’t believe I have to tell you these things, James, I mean, you’re a full-fledged member of the club."
"Well, I don’t have gaydar – for women, at least. I can almost always pick out gay men, though."
"Now, there’s an unhelpful skill," Mia said, patting her hand.
"Come on … you have to be able to give me some clues. How do you tell?"
Mia sighed, then looked at Juliet critically. "Okay, here’s one. When we went to check in, the guy at the starter’s window was totally cute. And he was flirting his ass off with every single woman who was standing there. Every one of the women acknowledged him in some way. Those little freshmen blushed, the juniors acted like they didn’t notice he was flirting, and you were your usual friendly, but not flirty self. You gave him the ‘I’ll be nice to you so you don’t give me a bad tee time, but don’t get your hopes up, buddy’ look that you’re so good at."
Jamie’s mouth gaped open in surprise. "I do that?"
"Yep. Constantly. You’ve been doing it since I met you, almost 8 years ago."
"Go figure … I didn’t realize I did that."
"Well, ya do. Now, Juliet … she acted as if there was a robot at the window. She didn’t acknowledge him as even a human – much less a man. That’s gay, Jamie. Way gay."
"Maybe she has a boyfriend, Mia. Maybe she doesn’t like to encourage men to flirt with her."
"Nope. Not buying it. When you’re attuned to men – you’re always attuned to them. You don’t turn it on and off. The juniors acted like they had boyfriends and they were telling the guy nonverbally that they weren’t interested because they were taken." Tilting her head in question, she asked, "Do they?"
"Yep," Jamie said, nodding. "Every one of them."
"Ha! Told ya! I’m great at this!"
"Maybe she isn’t into anyone," Jamie said. "She’s so focused, Mia. Maybe she’s asexual."
"Mmm … maybe, but asexual women don’t put their sunglasses on so they can check out your ass when you put your spikes on."
"She did not!"
"She did so," Mia said, laughing heartily. "She waited until you stuck your foot up on your bumper, then she hurriedly put her glasses on, and turned her head so it didn’t look like she was facing your way. But she was," she said, giggling fiendishly. "I moved over so I could see her eyes behind her glasses, and they were definitely on your sweet little ass." She elbowed her friend in the ribs and said, "Your butt looks adorable in those pants, by the way. Can I borrow ‘em?"
"Oh, lord!" Jamie dropped her head and let it rest on the steering wheel. "I don’t want Juliet checking me out. It makes me uncomfortable."
"Why?" Mia looked totally perplexed, her face scrunched up in question.
"Because I’m married!"
"So? She’s just looking. You don’t have to let her touch. It’s a compliment," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I love it when people check me out. Hell, we’re only gonna be young and hot for a few years. Enjoy it while ya can."
"You and I are wired differently, Mia," Jamie said. "Besides, I know it would bother Ryan, and I don’t want to get her riled up right now. She’s got enough people on her hit list."
"She doesn’t seem like the jealous type to me," Mia said. "She’s so full of confidence it’s sickening."
"Mmm … not so much now. The carjacking has changed her. She was so jealous of one of the golf pros down in Pebble Beach that she nearly threw a tantrum when I played golf with him."
"Ryan? Ryan did that?"
"Yeah. My sweet Ryan did that. I don’t blame her, and I really do understand, but it was still hard. She felt so broken, Mia, that she started to doubt who she was. It deeply affected her self-esteem."
"Uhm … I don’t wanna pry, but you two looked pretty normal after dinner last night. Is everything … working again?"
"Yeah." Jamie nodded as she blushed slightly. "We’ve been making very slow, but steady progress, and I thought it might take us another month or so to be open again. But we worked through some tough things on Sunday night, and Ryan really pushed herself. I don’t wanna jinx anything, but I think we’re gonna be fine. I was so moved …" She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "She touches my soul when we make love, Mia, and she touched it all over again on Sunday night. I was so overwhelmed that I decided that I have to marry her," she said, smiling shyly. "I just have to."
Mia threw her arms around her friend and whispered, "I’m so happy for you, James; I knew you’d get it back. You guys have too good a relationship to let the sex fade away."
"Thanks. I even called my father and asked if he’d participate in our ceremony. To my amazement, he not only said yes – he was supportive."
"That’s great! So – when are you going to ask your maid of honor if she’s busy?"
Jamie wrapped an arm around her friend and kissed her cheek. "I don’t know when we’re going to have the ceremony – probably early this summer. Can you make it?"
"I think I can squeeze you in. As long as you don’t have it during the Olympics, I’m there."
"Well, we obviously haven’t discussed the details yet, but if my hunch is correct, Jordan’s gonna be an integral part of the ceremony."
"So, Ryan doesn’t know yet?"
"Nope. I’ve got to get a big, flashy, engagement ring for her," Jamie said, smiling brightly. "This is probably my one and only chance to get some diamonds on that lovely left hand – so I’m gonna take full advantage."
"You are so gonna take me with you when you go shopping," Mia said. "I wanna go to one of those snooty places where they bring you champagne and caviar while you shop."
"I’ll definitely take you with me," Jamie said. "We’re gonna have to negotiate on the champagne and caviar, though. You know that I love a bargain as much as I love champagne – and those ritzy places are waaaaay overpriced."
Both Jamie and Mia were playing well, and having the cart allowed them to sneak ahead to the green on most holes, giving them time to sit and chat while Juliet and Lauren caught up. "I opened my big mouth at practice this morning, and suggested we have a party at our house this Saturday night," Jamie said, looking glum.
"Oh, James, don’t make a big deal out of this. If Ryan sees Juliet staring at you, she’ll loosen a few of her teeth and it’ll all be settled."
"You act like this is a joke, Mia, but it’s not. Ryan’s usually so placid and peaceful, but lately her temper can get away from her. I know she’s feeling a lot better, but I still worry about her."
"Can I come to the party?" Mia asked, "or do I have to make myself scarce?"
"Of course you can come. I don’t know why you’d want to, to be honest, but you’re certainly welcome."
"Why wouldn’t I want to come?"
"Well, this isn’t the most interesting group of people I’ve ever met," Jamie said, shrugging. "The athletes that Ryan’s played with have been outgoing and fun-loving for the most part, but this group isn’t like that at all. I think the fact that many of them have dreams of playing in the LPGA has made them a lot more serious about the game than is wise. Juliet in particular acts like she’s merely marking time until she can play professionally. She doesn’t seem to be enjoying college at all – and that just seems a shame."
"Well, maybe you can have a wild party and loosen them all up. Wanna make Jell-O shots?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.
"Mmm … I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Some of the girls are j
ust 18."
"You’re not their mom, Jamie. Come on, loosen up a little. Part of the fun of being in college is getting drunk. Everybody knows that!"
"We’ll see," Jamie said, smiling at her friend. "The question remains why you want to come, Mia. Don’t you have more interesting things to do on a Saturday night?"
"No," she said, shaking her head. "It’s no fun doing things without Jordy. I doubt that I’ll hang out much at your party, but I don’t want to leave the house if I don’t have to."
"Oh, Mia," Jamie said, patting her leg, "I hate to see you so down."
"It’s hard," she said, looking like she was on the verge of tears. "I had no idea how hard it would be to be this far away from her." She wrapped her arms around her knees and leaned over, hugging herself. "She gave my life a focus – a direction." Looking at Jamie, she cocked her head and asked, "Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes, of course I do, but it’s only for a few more months. I hate to see you having so little fun during your last semester. I’d love to see some spark back in those big, brown eyes."
"That’s where you’re wrong, James," Mia said, her voice sounding flat and lifeless. "It’s gonna be a lot longer than a few months if Jordan fulfils her dream."
"Huh?"
"When she signed on for the team, it was with the intent of staying with them until she was cut. She hopes to play in Athens in 2004."
"You’re … you’re kidding!"
"Do I look like I’m kidding?" Mia asked, looking anything but. "She says that it takes a long time to make a team gel, and that playing together over a period of years is the only way to do that."
"Oh, Mia …" Jamie said, patting her leg in sympathy.
"She’s willing to quit after Sydney – but I know that’s not what she wants to do. She’d only do that if I want her to, and that puts a tremendous burden on my shoulders. Jesus! I don’t want her to resent me for convincing her to abandon her dream before she’s ready. But I also don’t want to live in Colorado Springs for the next four years – working at some crap job while she’s off playing volleyball all around the world."
Monogamy Page 3
