by Lydia Rose
“I was late for class and now you’ve made me later,” the girl said as she shoved her books into her arms.
“Hey, it wasn’t only my fault here,” Allie said finally looking into the face of the girl. Her heart stop beating as she looked at the dark blue eyes that stared at her. As they stood up, Allie apologized again. “Sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” the girl said softly and ran down the steps.
Allie turned before going into the building. She watched her dash across the grass. Her light brown shoulder length hair bounced as she ran across the campus. Sighing, Allie went to class.
The professor looked at Allie as she took her seat. “Glad you could join us, Ms. Summers.”
“Sorry, Professor.” The professor went back to his lecture and Allie reached for notepad. She opened it without looking down. When she finally did, her eyes opened wide as she read the name. Ellen Green was written on the inside cover. She closed the book and then opened it again. The outside of the book was the same as hers, but this wasn’t her notebook. She turned the page and realized this was not a notebook containing notes from class, but more of a diary. Oh, great. I’m going to have to track this girl down and return her book to get mine back. And she’s going to think I read her diary. Her mind was screaming. Even if I tell her I didn’t read it, she won’t believe me. So what’s the difference? The devil inside her head said. She began reading and saw that the book began with Ellen moving into the dorms. Well, at least it’s doesn’t sound too personal. Ellen hated her roommate because she was a slob and roommate Cathy wanted her out of room all the time so she could have her boyfriend over. Allie read on. Ellen hadn’t made any friends since she arrived and she hated college life. She just wanted to go to class and study. Allie closed the book knowing she couldn’t read anymore. She borrowed paper from her seatmate and began paying attention.
As Allie came out of the building with the rest of the students, she saw Ellen waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
“You have something of mine,” Ellen said sharply.
Allie smiled and held up the notebook. “Do you have mine?”
Ellen held it up and they exchanged the notebooks. Ellen turned away.
“Thanks, Ellen. I would have been lost without my notes.”
Ellen spun on her heels. “You read my diary.” She didn’t ask. It was a statement.
“Only the first page.” Allie admitted.
Ellen raised her chin and walked away. It was after Ellen was out of sight that she realized today’s lecture notes were tucked into the notebook. She ran where Ellen had gone, but couldn’t find her anywhere.
“Great. Now what do I do?” Allie asked out loud. She walked back to the dorm room.
Jenny walked in a few minutes later. “Hey, how were classes today?”
“Okay, I guess.” Allie answered smirking.
“What’s wrong?” Jenny asked sitting next to Allie on the bed.
Allie told her about crashing into Ellen and how their notebooks got mixed up and giving it back at the end of the class. “She has my class notes.”
“What’s her name? We can always go to the office and find out what dorm room she’s in.”
“Good idea.” Allie got off the bed. “I’ll see you later.”
“Want company?” Jenny asked.
“Sure. Then we can go get something to eat.”
As soon as they walked into the office, Ellen was standing there. Before Allie could call out to her, Ellen turned. Her face went into a slight smile as she held up the notes.
“Thank you,” Allie said as she stood next to her. “I was just coming to find out what dorm you were in.”
“I thought if I left these here, you would find them.” Ellen looked at Jenny and then back to Allie. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know your name.”
“Allie. Allie Summers and this is my roommate, Jenny Archer.” Allie turned to Jenny. “Jen, this is Ellen Green.”
Jenny put out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Ellen. My friend over here has been in a panic about her class notes.” Jenny wiped her hand across her brow. “You saved the day.”
Ellen smiled. This time a real smile. “It’s nice to meet you too.” Ellen looked away. “I guess I’d better go.”
Allie touched Ellen’s arm. “We were just going to go to the cafeteria to have something to eat. Would you like to join us?” She asked knowing from the diary that Ellen didn’t have any friends.
“I don’t want to impose,” Ellen said glancing at the two women.
“We’d like you to join us. Right, Jen?” Allie asked squeezing Jenny’s arm.
“Sure,” Jenny said softly as she watched Allie seemingly captivated by this little shy little girl in front of her. Jenny didn’t recognize this Allie.
“Okay.” Ellen answered and followed the two women out of the office. She began arguing with herself in her head. Why did she yes? She didn’t know these girls, but there was something about the way Allie had looked at her that she just couldn’t say no. So, it’s dinner. You’ll never have to talk to her again.
The three women walked into the cafeteria and once they had their food, they sat down.
“I miss my mother’s cooking.” Allie admitted. “More so, my grandmother’s cooking.
“Me too,” Jenny said with a sigh. “I guess we all do.”
“I don’t,” Ellen said softly. “My mother doesn’t cook.”
“Where are you from, Ellen?” Allie asked.
“From here. Well, not Raleigh, but North Carolina. A small town called Sweetwater.”
“Never heard of it,” Allie said wrinkling her eyebrows.
“No one has. It’s so small to even be called a town,” Ellen said blushing deep red.
“The town I’m from is small too. Just a quaint farming town,” Allie said with a smile trying to make Ellen feel more comfortable.
Jenny sat back and watched as Allie charmed the shy girl out of her shell.
“Are you going home for Thanksgiving,” Allie asked.
“No. I don’t have the money to travel back and forth. I also have a job in town.” Ellen played with the food on her plate without meeting Allie’s gaze. “Besides, I already told you my mother doesn’t cook.” She shrugged. “So what’s the difference?”
Allie felt sad for Ellen and her obvious circumstance, but she didn’t want Ellen to see she felt sorry for her.
Ellen stood with her tray in her hands. “I’ve got to get some studying in before I go to work. It was nice to meet you both.”
“You too,” Jenny said. It was the first thing she said since they sat down.
“Maybe we’ll see you around.” Allie looked at her face. “What dorm are you in?”
Ellen looked at Allie not certain she wanted to answer. “Berry Hall.”
“We are too. I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other before,” Allie said grinning.
“I guess our schedules are different,” Ellen said with a shrug, but she knew that wasn’t true. She had seen Allie in the community bathroom, but Allie never gave her a second look. “Sorry, but I’ve got to run.”
Once Ellen left, Jenny looked at Allie. “Wow, what was that?”
“What do you mean?” Allie asked unable to meet Jenny’s stare.
“You like her?” Jenny said smiling.
“She’s nice and she doesn’t have any friends.” Allie answered.
“How do you know that?” Jenny asked with raised eyebrows.
“I read the first page of her diary,” Allie said softly.
“You didn’t?” Jenny asked shocked.
Allie nodded embarrassed admitting to that.
Jenny shook her head. “Yeah, but it’s more than that.” Jenny touched Allie’s hand. “Spill it.”
“I have nothing to admit.” Allie picked up her tray and went to the garbage can.
Jenny followed close behind. “Nothing?” Jenny laughed.
They walked back to the dorm room in silence. Once insid
e, Allie picked up a book and went to her desk. Jenny plopped on Allie’s bed and faced her. She sat there with her arms across her chest and stared. Jenny was going to wait this out. She knew it wouldn’t be long before Allie caved. She was right.
“Okay,” Allie said releasing a heavy breath. “I like her.”
“So you’re gay?” Jenny said with a wink.
“Yes and if you want to change dorm rooms, go ahead.” Allie felt frustrated.
“Why would I want to do that?” Jenny asked moving closer to Allie.
Allie shrugged. “I just thought you’d be afraid of me.”
Jenny laughed. “Afraid of you? Don’t be silly.” Jenny narrowed her eyes. “So why her?”
“I don’t know, Jen. There’s just something about her. When I looked into her eyes the first time, I felt something.”
“Felt what?”
“I don’t know.” Allie pointed to her stomach. “Something in here.”
“Oh, gas,” Jenny said laughing.
“You ass. Go back to your side of the room and leave me alone.”
Jenny started to get off the bed, but stopped. “So that girl in the restaurant the first night we met.” Her eyes opened wide. “She was your girlfriend?”
“Was,” Allie said. “Now she’s straight.”
“If she was your girlfriend, how straight can she be?” Jenny sat back. “How long were you together?”
“I fell in love with Mary in sixth grade, but we didn’t become girlfriends until we were freshman in high school.”
“Is she here in school?” Jenny asked very interested.
“No. She came to Raleigh to work so we could be together.” Allie looked away. “Mary came out after graduation and while she was here, she decided we were done.”
“That bitch. How did you find out?”
“I called her house and her aunt told me she was out on a date.”
“I don’t like that bitch. She could have told you instead of you finding out that way.” Jenny put her arm around Allie. “Can I hit her if I ever see her again?”
Allie burst out laughing. “Stop being an ass. I’m over her.”
“You’ve got one problem.”
Allie looked at Jenny. “What’s that?”
“You have no idea if Ms. Ellen Green is gay.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot that,” Allie said softly.
“Wish I could help you, but I’m sorry I like men,” Jenny said jumping off the bed.
“Just my luck,” Allie said sarcastically.
CHAPTER FOUR
The next morning, Allie barely had her eyes open as she carried her things to the bathroom down the hall. She opened the door to the glaring light and a room full of half-dressed girls. Allie went over to the showers and placed her towel on the hook. The warm water hit her face and she finally started to wake up. As she opened the shower curtain and stepped out, Ellen was standing there in a robe.
“Hi,” Ellen said softly.
“Hey. I guess we do have similar schedules,” Allie said wearing a smile.
“Didn’t you sleep last night?” Ellen asked chuckling.
“Not much,” Allie said and then furrowed her brows. “How did you know?”
“When you walked in, your eyes were barely open.” Ellen looked away timidly. “You walked right past me.”
“I’m sorry, Ellen. I was up late studying. The mandatory math is so difficult.” Allie said smirking. “Don’t know why I have to take that.”
“I could help you,” Ellen offered surprising herself. “Math is my specialty.”
“Really?”
“Sure. We can meet in the library if you’d like?” Ellen offered.
“Yes. Definitely yes.” Allie smiled. “Thank you.”
“No trouble.”
They made arrangement to meet in the afternoon before Ellen went to work.
“I’ve got to get dressed and get to class,” Ellen said. “I’ll see you later, Allie.”
“See you,” Allie finished in the bathroom and went back to her dorm room. Jenny was just getting out of bed. “Morning, sleepyhead.”
“Morning. You’re chipper. Must have been a good shower,” she said seeing Allie already dressed. Then she stopped. “You saw Ellen in there,” she said pointing with her finger.
Allie nodded. “She’s going to help me with math.”
“You are so smitten with her?”
Allie shrugged. “She’s nice.”
Jenny grabbed her things. “Uh huh.” She was laughing as she left the dorm room.
So Allie went to class every day and met with Ellen in the library either working on her math course or just studying together. Ellen never gave Allie an indication that she was interested in her other than to be her friend. So Allie did what she did best, hide her growing feelings for Ellen. As Thanksgiving approached, they sat in the library Monday of Thanksgiving week.
“I feel bad that you’ll be staying here for Thanksgiving.” Allie admitted softly.
“I’m used to it,” Ellen said with a shrug.
“You could come home with me,” Allie said looking at Ellen softly.
“I couldn’t do that,” Ellen said shaking her head.
“Why not? We’ve got plenty of room. You could stay at my house or my grandparent’s home. We all have houses on the farm.” Allie insisted.
“Thank you, Allie, but I’ve got a job.”
“They can’t be open on Thanksgiving?”
“No, but they’re open Friday and the weekend.”
“Where do you work?” Allie asked.
“The coffee shop in town.”
“Can’t you take off?” Allie was almost begging.
“I need the money, Allie. My scholarship doesn’t cover all my expenses. I need to work to stay in school.”
Allie realized that not everyone was in her position. Her parents paid for everything and all she had to do was study. “I’m sorry, Ellen. I didn’t mean to try and force you. I just.” She shrugged. What could she say? I’m going to miss you. No, she couldn’t tell Ellen that.
Ellen reached out and almost touched Allie hand. Allie watched as Ellen’s hand moved toward her and then stopped.
“Maybe another time,” Ellen said softly.
“Okay,” Allie said smiling. “I’ll hold you to that.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Allie got off the train and saw her mother standing there. She quickly walked toward her and they hugged fiercely.
“I’ve missed you so much, Sweetie,” Annabelle said pulling her daughter close again.
“I missed you too, mom.”
“Let me look at you.” Annabelle held her daughter at arm’s length. “You look good, honey. Are you getting enough to eat?”
“Yes, but the food is fair.” Allie laughed. “I can’t wait to see everyone.”
They walked to the car arm and arm.
“Have you seen Mary again?” Annabelle asked as they got into the car.
“No, but I have seen her boyfriend.” Allie chuckled. “The first few times I wanted to punch him in the face.
Annabelle turned shocked. “You didn’t?”
“No, mom. I didn’t. I’m over her.” Allie confessed.
“You are?” Annabelle asked surprised. “Who is she?”
“What?”
“There must be someone else that has caught your eye if you’re over Mary that quickly. Don’t tell me it’s Jenny?”
“No, mom. Jenny is straight and there isn’t anyone else.”
“Right?”
“Really, mom. I’m not dating anyone. It’s the truth.”
“You may not be dating, but I know there’s someone. I hope she’s gay,” Annabelle said softly.
“I don’t know,” Allie said softly.
“Oh, honey. Don’t go falling for another girl that is confused.”
“I know, mom. Ellen and I are just friends. I enjoy her company.”
“Just be careful, honey. I don’t want to see you
get hurt again.”
“I know, mom,” Allie said softly.
Once the car pulled into the driveway, they were surrounded by family. Alison was the first one at the car door. She wrapped her arms around Allie and kissed her cheek.
“We all missed you, Allie. We’re so glad you’re home.”
“Hey, Alison. Let someone else greet her,” Annabelle said.
“Hi, grandma and grandpa. I missed you both too.” She hugged her grandfather again.
Her father, Stan grabbed his daughter. “I missed you, honey.”
“I missed you too, dad.”
June, Billy, Hank, Richard and her brother James greeted her next.
“Come to house and have something to eat everyone,” Alison said to the family.
As they sat at the table, Annabelle asked. “So how’s school, Allie?”
“Good, grandpa. I like it.” Allie answered. “How’s your semester?” She asked her brother James. Since he was older, this was his second year.
“I miss the farm, of course, but it’s fine.” James answered.
“Have you made a lot of friends?” Alison asked.
“I have, grandma. There’s so many students on the campus.”
Alison looked at her granddaughter and thought she saw something there in Allie’s eyes. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”
“Have you seen Mary?” James asked with a smirk.
“Only once,” Allie said looking down.
“Good,” he said puffing out a breath and mumbled something under his breath.
When Allie looked up, James winked. Allie smiled understanding his meaning. James had been upset too because of the way Mary had treated his sister. He had once been friends with Mary’s brother, but that friendship ended with the ending of her relationship with Mary.
After dinner, everyone went their separate ways. Allie sat on the front porch with her grandmother and mother.
“You look good, Allie,” Alison said taking her granddaughter’s hand.
“Thanks, gran. I feel good.”
“Allie has a new friend,” Annabelle said chuckling.
“Mom.” Allie scolded.
“You do?” Allie asked.
“She’s just a friend, grandma.” Allie insisted.
