"Why would that make a difference?" he asked. "I mean, why go to that extreme?"
"Extreme conditions sometimes call for extreme measures," she told him. "I knew that if I was captured or mortally wounded, turning myself would be my only chance. If I was captured, they couldn't use Mind weaves on me if I was a Were-cat, and torturing me wouldn't work either because I'd regenerate. They wouldn't kill me so long as I had information they could use, so I'd still be alive. It would also give me a much better chance to escape, given the advantages that Were-cats enjoy. And if I were mortally wounded, I'd be healed during the transformation into a Were-cat. Either way, in those two worst cases, I'd have a way to survive them."
"Triana said it backfired on you."
"Boy did it," she sighed. "I survived, but without anyone to teach me how to control the Cat, I went mad. And it wasn't a quick and simple process," she said with a shudder. "I degenerated slowly, and that bastard Kravon chained me to the wall in his lab and studied me, just so he could observe the process. I'm glad he's dead," she spat viciously. "Jegojah did all of us a favor when he bled Kravon like a yearling pig."
From what he'd heard, such spitefulness wasn't misplaced. That man Kravon had hurt alot of people. Some people were more use to the world dead, and Kravon was one of them. "Jula, I have to ask. If you had my chance right now, would you stay human, or would you be a Were-cat again?"
"You're not being fair," she teased lightly. "I really don't know, Tarrin. I hated what I became at first, but now it's not so easy to decide anymore. Before, I was alone and afraid, and I hated what I'd become. But I understand things better now, and I have people like you and Jesmind and Jasana to be with. I miss being human, but if I wasn't a Were-cat anymore, I think I'd miss that too."
"Why were you working with those people, anyway?" he asked. "You just don't seem the type."
"Being a Were-cat has changed me alot more than most people think," she answered honestly. "I worked for the ki'zadun back then because I thought it was what I wanted. That they could give me the power I craved."
"It's hard to imagine you as a powermonger, Jula."
"Oh, I was," she said in a self-deprecating manner. "It was all I could think about. I even dreamed about getting power, any kind of power. Power in Sorcery, political power, personal power, anything that put me over others. The ki'zadun gave me that power, and alot of it, but I know now where that kind of power leads. It led me to a set of manacles bolted to a wall. The ki'zadun is about nothing but power, and if you don't help them or you're not useful to them, you stop being a part of that power and become a liability. They don't bother finding other uses for things once they decide it's no longer useful."
"It sounds like a lonely way to live."
"I didn't really care about other people," she said candidly. "All that mattered to me was my power. The only thing I really saw in other people was how I could use them to get more."
"That sounds really lonely," he said. "Didn't you have anyone you cared about?"
"I never really have, Tarrin," she told him. "My parents died when I was very young, and they'd just travelled to Ultern from Jerinhold. So there was nobody there to take care of me. Because of that, I grew up on the streets of Ultern as a street urchin. I learned from a very early age that the strong take what they want from the weak. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm a Sorcerer, I would have died on those streets. But being a Sorcerer let me come here, and it gave me what I thought was a chance to be so powerful that nobody would ever attack me or steal from me again. I learned Sorcery, but then my desires changed from wanting to be strong to protect myself to wanting power so I could be over others. I think that's what made them come to me. I hadn't even heard of the ki'zadun until they approached me and recruited me into their organization. I was still in the Initiate then," she said in a distant manner.
"How did they know to approach you?"
"They watched us, Tarrin," she said. "They had a good idea who'd join them and who wouldn't. I suppose that the ones that didn't join were probably killed, so as not to break the secrecy of the group."
"How did they watch you from inside the Tower?"
"Because they already had people inside the Tower," she explained. "Not just Sorcerers. Staff, guards, and servants too acted as spies for the ki'zadun. There was quite a little network here before you came along and destroyed it," she chuckled.
"It's hard to believe I did all that," he said.
"You did, father, trust me," she told him. "You may not have done it intentionally, but you did. When you broke free under the Cathredral and announced to the world we were here, you started a chain of events that put the ki'zadun where they are now. You have no idea how powerful they were, father. They owned entire kingdoms. But yet all it took to break them was a single Were-cat with the strength to oppose them. In its own way, I guess that's pretty remarkable."
"It sounds like I ran around and chased them."
"Actually, you beat them by destroying several critical plans," she explained. "At first, they were trying to kill you because they knew you were the one that would find the Firestaff, and they failed. They sent almost everything they could manage to get onto the grounds, even Trolls, and none of them could kill you. After you disappeared from the Tower and started looking for the Book of Ages, they changed tactics. They didn't think they were going to be able to kill you, not between you and the very powerful people that were with you, so they tried to drive you insane instead. They knew how unbalanced you were."
"How could they do that?"
"By putting so much pressure on you that it made you snap," she answered. "They saw it happen to me, so they tried to make it happen to you. They sent Jegojah after you, they hired thugs in every city to attack you if you showed up, and they were trying to devise a magical means to try to influence your mind. But you proved to be much stronger than they calculated," she said with a smile. "That, and the Wikuni truly hamstrung that plan when they nearly killed you in their operation to get back Keritanima. That put you under Triana's care, and once that happened, they knew that not only could they not get anywhere near you, that you'd also get the training you'd need to not go mad. So they had to change plans again. About that time, they sent me to Dala Yar Arak to try to get the city guard to turn against you, so I really don't know what they planned after that. Outside of the big one, anyway."
"The fight at Suld?"
She nodded as they turned down a path that led towards the hedge maze. "That's what everything they've done in the West for the last twenty years led up to. The battle at Suld. Their goal was to banish the Goddess and eliminate the katzh-dashi from the race to find the Firestaff. That was alot more important than before, since they knew you'd managed to get the Book of Ages and nobody would dare come into the Desert of Swirling Sands to try to take it from you."
"Why not?"
"The Selani, father. Not even the ki'zadun are stupid or crazy enough to take on the Selani. That's one hornet's nest even they knew better than to stir up. Anyway, since you had the Book of Ages, banishing the Goddess seemed the best way to go about handling you. They knew that if they were successful, it would kill you and just about anyone else strong enough to cause them problems, and they could literally take the staff unopposed. But they probably never in their wildest dreams imagined they'd be facing what they faced in that battle," she said with a vicious smirk. "I doubt that facing people like the Ungardt, Selani, Wikuni, Vendari, Were-kin, Centaurs, Demons, Aeradalla, and Arakites was anything they even thought would come up in the wildest situation. I'll bet that Demoness that led them had a cow when she found out what she was facing," she added with a smug look. "And all that was you."
"Me? How was it me?"
"Simple, father. You're blood related to the Selani and the Wikuni, you're the grandson of an Ungardt clan king, you were a Druid and a Were-kin, and you were personal friends with the rulers of Yar Arak and the Aeradalla. That allowed you to ask all of those groups for help, and t
hey obliged you because they knew how serious the situation was. I'll bet they didn't tell you that, did they?"
"No, not really."
"Well, I hope it doesn't give you a big head, but you're the sole reason Suld is still here," she told him calmly. "If not for you, the ki'zadun would have taken Suld, banished the Goddess, and they'd probably have the Firestaff right now."
Tarrin thought that she was stretching the truth a bit there, but he said nothing and let her continue.
"After they lost here, everything went downhill for the ki'zadun ," she said. "They probably threw almost everything into this attack. They even revealed themselves to the world, something they've never done before. It was a huge gamble, and truth be told, if not for you, it probably would have paid off. Anyway, since they lost here and got a huge chunk of their army killed, I guess they retreated to one of their most remote and defensible strongholds. Castle Keening, probably. That, or they withdrew all the way to Zakkar."
"Where is that?"
"It's on Valkar, right where it connects to southern Godan-Nyr," she answered. "A very long way off. It's the seat of power for the ki'zadun. Zakkar uses it as an underhanded army to try to rule the world, the same way their skyships try to rule the oceans."
"Isn't that a kingdom of magicians?"
"It more or less is," she affirmed. "But it's always been eclipsed by Sharadar. I think that really rankles their fur. No matter how powerful they get, Sharadar is always so much more powerful that they can slap them down with ease. I think you can say that everything else that goes on with the ki'zadun and such can always be traced back to that one rivalry. Half of what goes on in the world concerns the battle between Zakkar and Sharadar. They've been fighting a clandestine war for over five thousand years."
"Like two stags fighting in a cornfield. They have no idea what they're trampling."
"That's a pretty good description," she nodded. "They don't fight openly, because that would be a war like nothing since the Blood War. Sharadar virtually owns all of Arathorn, and Zakkar has influence over about half of Valkar and much of Godan-Nyr. If they declared open war, there'd be armies numbering in the millions clashing all over the southern continents. It would not be pretty," she concluded with a sniff.
"It certainly sounds a little scary," he said. "So, the ki'zadun was part of Zakkar?"
"One of many parts of Zakkar, father," she replied.
"Why did they want the Firestaff, anyway?"
"The same reason everyone else wants it, father, but with a slightly different idea in mind for its use. Everyone wants it to become a god. The ki'zadun and Zakkar want to get it to free the one they already have."
"I think I remember that part," he said. "Jesmind told me about it. That their god was trapped by some woman named Spyder."
"That's right. He was imprisoned in a statue as punishment, because he was the reason the Blood War happened in the first place. The Firestaff can give him the power to free himself from the statue and use his power in the world again."
"You mean even after he got imprisoned, his people didn't abandon him?"
"No, not really."
"Well, they're faithful to him. I guess you can't fault them for their devotion."
"I guess not," she chuckled.
"It's too bad they had to do it this way. I'm sure if they would have asked for help, someone would have tried to free him."
"I doubt it," she smiled. "That particular god has been nothing but trouble ever since he became one. He started the Blood War in an attempt to take over the world. If they freed him, he'd probably try to take over the world again."
"Oh. Well, if he's just going to do it again, I guess he's better off in god prison."
"God prison. That's a very funny concept," Jula said with a little laugh.
"It all sounds a little too much to believe," he admitted.
"I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen so much of it," she said with a smile. She sniffed at the air a moment, then her ears laid back a little. "I'm going to go cut that girl's nose off," she growled.
"Who?"
"That Sha'Kar girl that's been following you around."
"She's here?"
"She's behind us," she answered, glancing back over her shoulder. "Probably around that last bend."
"She's not going to give up easy, Jula," Tarrin sighed.
"She will if I go back there and fix her."
Tarrin wasn't sure what that meant, and something told him he didn't want to know. "Just leave her alone, Jula. She'll give up once she finds someone more interesting. It's too bad really, because I really like her. I miss running around with her and Dar. She's alot of fun to be with."
"I really don't understand why you're avoiding her, Tarrin," she said. "If all she wants is a roll in the sheets, give it to her. That would probably make her go away alot faster that all this avoiding her."
"I'm really not sure why I'm avoiding her so much," he admitted. "Something just tells me that getting involved with her would be a very bad idea."
"Don't you like her?" she asked pointedly.
"I think that's the problem," he said honestly. "I like her too much."
"She is pretty," Jula admitted. "And all those Sha'Kar have those to-die-for bodies. Afraid getting into a relationship with her is going to influence your choice?"
He blinked. "You know, I think that may be one of the reasons," he said with a nod. "If I had an affair with Auli, I think it would make me want to stay human."
"It's not like you're looking at a desert on this side, father," Jula laughed. "Jesmind and Kimmie are probably going to fight over who gets to keep you."
"I know. But what's on your plate is more on your mind that what's in the pot, you know." He threw the heavy braid back over his shoulder. "And besides, all Auli wants is a fun time. I'd want something more permanent, and doing what she wants to do would really make me want something permanent."
"Those rural morals," Jula chuckled. "Sometimes I'm surprised you far-flung villagers manage to have any children at all."
"Girls just don't throw themselves into boys' beds back home," he agreed with a nod.
"But you have to admit it, father. She wouldn't be dragging you kicking and screaming into that bed."
"No, she wouldn't," he admitted with a sigh. "Every time she gets close to me, half of me is thinking about getting away, but the other half is hoping I won't. If she managed to trap me, I don't think I'd put up much of a fight."
"Want to get rid of her?" Jula asked with a smile.
"I don't want to be mean to her or make her mad, Jula," he cautioned. "She is my friend. I'm hoping after she loses interest in me, we can be friends again."
"I promise, she won't hate you afterwards, father," she smiled. "If you want to really get rid of her, then let her trap you."
"What?"
"Let her trap you somewhere, give in to her advances, and then do everything wrong."
"What do you mean?"
"Be a total disaster in bed," she said with a twinkle in her eye. "Do everything wrong, and make it a complete chore for her to make love with you. It won't matter how eager you are afterwards. She'll avoid having you back in her bed like you were carrying the plague. You should try to get her back in bed yourself a few times after that, until she gives you the immortal 'let's be friends' speech. Then you agree, and you're friends again. And she won't even think of seducing you again."
Tarrin thought that over, then he laughed heartily. "Jula, that's wicked! It's funny, but it's totally evil!"
"You just have to approach these kinds of problems the right way, father, and they can solve themselves."
"How do I know if I'm doing it wrong, though?"
She looked at him. "I forgot, like this, you're mentally a virgin. If it won't offend you too much, I can tell you what to do to make sure Auli never tries to seduce you again. But I warn you, it's going to be graphic."
"It can't be any worse than some of the things Triana and Jesmind have s
aid to me," he said calmly.
"Probably not," she chuckled in reply. "And remember, I'll be teaching you the wrong way. I don't want to hear your next girlfriend complaining, understand?"
He laughed, and to his surprise, he didn't feel embarassed at all. "You can explain it, and if I find myself pinned by Auli, I'll try it your way," he told her.
"It's the least I can do, father," she said with a gentle smile, as they turned the corner on the border of the hedge maze. They walked along the path with patches of beautiful multicolored flowers on one side and the hedge wall on the other, and Jula began teaching Tarrin how to get rid of Auli.
Neither was aware of the eyes following them.
Tarrin felt rather reassured after his talk with Jula. He'd gotten to know her alot better, and she actually had quite good advice when it came to dealing with Auli. He thought that she had quite a good idea there with acting the dunce. It probably would make Auli lose interest in him faster than anything else. He just hoped he'd have presence of mind to try to do it.
He spent the rest of the afternoon with Jasana in her apartments, and though Tarrin had a good time, he wasn't so sure about Jesmind. She was there, and she kept staring at him in a way that made him uncomfortable. She wouldn't really talk to him outside of noncommittal grunts or dismissive looks, and he had no idea what was bothering her. But something obviously was, and he reminded himself several times over the afternoon that technically he was still angry with Jesmind, so he didn't want to try to find out. Showing too much interest in her mood may make her think he was making a peace offering.
After a very pleasant day, he and Dar went down and got some dinner, and ended up wandering around the grounds aimlessly and talking. He told him about much of what he discussed with Jula, including touching on her idea to make Auli go away. Dar found the subject to be quite interesting, and thought Jula's idea was both amusing and possibly workable.
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