“I wish you hadn’t come here,” she murmured. If she had never seen him again, she might have got over him in time. Now she never would.
He understood.
“Forgive me?”
Kitty merely nodded. He kissed her once more.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
She smiled at that. He had always called her ‘sweetheart’ because that’s what they had always been.
At the sight of Harry standing alone by the door, Susan swept across the room.
“I understand you went out for a breath of air,” she remarked with a sly little grin.
“To tell you the truth I didn’t even miss you. I was enjoying myself too much to notice.”
Pointing to Jack, who was now chatting with Kitty at the table, she enquired, “Did you know he and Kitty Marsh are to be married?”
Her announcement was like a fist in his stomach.
“Married!” He stared at her.
“Are you sure?”
“Oh, yes! Some time this year by all accounts.” Having cunningly planted the seed, she held out her coat, at the same time remarking that the matter of Kitty’s forthcoming marriage was of little importance to either of them.
“Let’s get home, darling,” she purred, making her way to the door.
Harry drew her back.
“Don’t you think it would be good manners to thank Kitty’s aunt first?” It was typical of Susan to walk out without so much as a goodbye.
Making a sour face, she glanced round the room.
“I don’t believe it would matter. It’s not as though we’ll ever see these people again, is it?” she asked pointedly.
“Besides, apart from Jack Harper’s sparkling company, it’s been a tedious little party.”
Ignoring her spiteful comments, he strode away. As he approached Mildred and her gentleman friend, so did Kitty and Jack.
“Thank you for a lovely time,” he told Mildred.
“I’m pleased you were able to come,” she answered. Gone was her anger.
Love was a powerful master.
Before they left. Kitty was urged to open all her presents; there was a silk scarf and a number of bottles of perfume which was strange because she never used it. Eddie and Mildred had bought her a beautiful white silk blouse.
“Goodbye, Kitty…Jack.” Harry’s gaze went from Kitty to Jack and back again.
“Oh! Nearly left without giving you your birthday present,” he apologised. Reaching into his pocket, he drew out a small box wrapped in silver paper and tied with ribbon. Laying the box in her hand he said softly, “Happy birthday.” His dark eyes enveloped her, his smile for her and no one else. He had meant to give her the present when they were alone in the kitchen, but Mildred’s timely intervention had sent it right out of his head.
Susan arrived just in time to see him hand the present over.
“You sly thing,” she chided sweetly.
“And I didn’t even see what you’d bought.”
Jack smiled at her and she grinned like a Cheshire cat, turning on the charm and congratulating herself. If she could stir a pot of mischief she was in her element.
Kitty saw none of that. Instead she was looking at Harry, her smile warm and intimate.
“Thank you.” Turning to his wife she smiled at her, hiding the ache inside.
“Thank you both,” she said.
She realised Susan was itching to see what the present was, but had no intention of opening it now. It was too private. Whatever the box contained, it was from Harry and she would cherish it. The fact that Susan had not helped in its choosing only made it the more precious.
“Goodnight then, and thank you for a lovely party.” Susan’s words drifted behind her as she hurried away, inwardly seething yet cunning to the end.
Shaking Harry’s hand, Jack wished him well.
“Your wife’s been telling me all about how you came up from scratch,” he revealed.
“I can see you’re a very ambitious man, and as far as I can tell there’s no reason why you and I shouldn’t be doing business in the future. Good hauliers are the very devil to find.”
Harry thanked him.
“I mean to expand my business until I have a fleet to be reckoned with,” he vowed. Then he kissed Mildred lightly on the cheek and thanked her; only the two of them knew the real reason for his gratitude. Afterwards he kissed Kitty too, a swift inadequate expression of his affections. Holding her hand a minute longer than was necessary, he told her, “Be happy, sweetheart.” Only Mildred noticed the pain in his voice. And Kitty of course. And when he had gone, she was lonelier than ever.
“I should be seethingly jealous,” Jack commented.
“What are you talking about?” For one awful minute Kitty was afraid he had seen her and Harry emerge from the kitchen.
“Your old schoolfriend,” he explained. His voice was lighthearted, but his eyes were hard and calculating.
“The way he held on to your hand, I thought he might leave his wife here and take you instead.”
Kitty’s answer was dismissive.
“Harry and I belong to another time.”
She turned away, walking to the table where she helped herself to a measure of gin and tonic. Raising the glass to her lips, she muttered beneath her breath, “To us, Harry, and what might have been.” She took a sip, grimaced at the bitter taste. Replacing the glass on the tray, she began clearing the table.
“What’s the matter with her?” Jack had never seen Kitty in such a pensive mood.
Mildred wondered whether to take him apart for his insensitivity.
However, not wanting to fuel his suspicions, she suggested tactfully, “I expect having Harry here has opened up old wounds…the loss of her parents, the children’s home, all of that.” Giving him a little prod she urged, “It might help if you went and talked to her. She’s probably feeling very lonely.” Because Harry’s gone, she thought. But there was no need for Jack to know that.
Mortified that he might have been the cause of Kitty’s quiet mood, he hurried to find her. In the kitchen she sat by the table, gazing at Harry’s unopened present and mulling over the events of the night.
When Jack walked in, she quickly dropped the present into the table drawer, went to the sink, ran the hot water into the bowl and feverishly began washing the dishes.
“I can be so stupid sometimes,” he said sheepishly. Grabbing a tea-towel, he waited to wipe the dishes.
“I’ll go if you like?”
Putting a bowl on to the drainer, she touched his hand with soapy fingers.
“Don’t be silly.”
The relief on his face was pathetic.
“You mean you don’t want me to leave?”
Her wonderful smile hid an aching heart.
“And who would wipe the dishes?” she asked with a twinkle in her eye.
Encouraged by her friendliness, he caught hold of her arm.
“Kitty, I know I promised never to ask you again, but we need each other. Please, Kitty, you’d make me the happiest man on earth if only you’d be my wife.”
“Don’t, Jack.” Her smile fell away and in its place there was a look of hopelessness.
“We’ve been through this too many times.”
“You’re torturing me.”
“No, Jack. You’re torturing yourself.”
“Do you find me so unattractive?”
“No. In fact you’re a good-looking bloke.”
“You don’t like me then?”
“That’s not true and you know it.” Dropping the dishcloth into the bowl, she wiped her hands on the tea-towel he was holding.
“It might be better if we went back into the lounge.” Without waiting for him, she left the room. It was a moment before he followed, just in time to say goodbye to Mildred’s gentleman friend.
A short while after that, Jack reluctantly departed, leaving Kitty alone with her aunt.
“My feet are throbbing like mad,” Mildred moa
ned, flopping into the kitchen chair.
“These new shoes are sheer hell.”
Bending forward she eased the shoes off her feet.
“Oh! What heaven!” she sighed, wriggling her toes.
“Honest to God, what we women go through in the name of fashion.”
Finishing off the washing-up. Kitty stacked the crockery into the cupboard.
“Are you sure you weren’t wearing them to impress your new fella?” she asked mischievously.
Mildred regarded her for a minute. Aware that Kitty’s life might be turned upside down by her exciting news, she was tempted to maintain her silence until tomorrow. However, she had put it off too long already. Events had moved too quickly and now she was obliged to let Kitty know exactly what had been going on.
“Sit here a minute,” she invited. “We need to talk.”
As she twisted in the chair, her sore foot collided with the table leg, causing her to grimace with pain.
“I know you’re waiting to tick me off about Harry,” Kitty guessed, “but it can wait a minute.”
Mildred was surprised.
“Who said I was going to tick you off?” she demanded.
“Why else would you want to talk? And don’t forget I saw your disapproving expression when you found us together in the kitchen.”
All evening, Kitty had been half expecting to be taken aside by Mildred. When she wasn’t, it occurred to her that her aunt was biding her time, waiting for just such a moment as this.
Mildred was both impatient and uncomfortable.
“Whatever are you doing?” she asked, peering at Kitty who was on her knees beneath the sink-cupboard.
“Be patient.” Taking a plastic bowl from the cupboard, Kitty filled it with equal measures of cold and hot water.
“Put your feet in there,” she invited, setting the bowl on the tiles. She then brought a hand towel from the cupboard, chuckling aloud when Mildred eased her feet into the soothing water, her face a study in sheer delight as she sighed with pleasure.
Drawing up a chair, Kitty sat in front of her aunt.
“Now then. What’s so important it won’t wait until tomorrow?” She still supposed it was to be a lecture on hiding in the kitchen with another woman’s husband.
But it wasn’t like that with her and Harry, was it?
WAS IT?
Suddenly she felt ashamed, indignant. Harry was hers and always would be! Even as the thought rippled through her mind she knew it was not the way of things. He was not hers. He was married to Susan, and she must accept that fact.
“It is to do with me and Harry, isn’t it?” She didn’t want to talk about him. She didn’t even want to think about him; But she couldn’t help herself. He was part of her existence, inside her, alive with every beat of her heart.
Gingerly lifting one foot out of the water, Mildred patted it dry with the towel.
“I can’t deny I was shocked to see how strongly you and Harry felt about each other,” she confessed. Raising the other foot, she dried that also, then she draped the towel across the back of the nearest chair and slid the bowl away. Drawing the chair closer to Kitty, she crossed her bare ankles and went on in a gentle voice, “It isn’t for me to tell you what to do. And, to tell you the truth, that was not why I wanted us to talk.” She swallowed and braced herself.
This was not going to be easy.
Kitty was intrigued and a little afraid.
“You look as if you’re about to walk the plank,” she said, trying to lighten the situation.
“Kitty, forgive me if I’m prying into your affairs,” Mildred apologised, “but now that you’ve raised the issue of you and Harry, I would be failing you again if I didn’t advise you to be very careful what you do. After all, he has a wife, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be responsible for a broken marriage?” The memories of her own were too close, too awful.
Kitty’s voice was solemn.
“You needn’t worry yourself,” she answered. “Harry and I don’t intend seeing each other again.” Thinking it was bad enough. Actually saying it was too final. She took a deep breath.
“If that’s all, I think I’ll go to bed now?” Not to sleep, she thought, but to remember those few precious moments when he held her in his arms.
She would have got out of the chair and left there and then, but Mildred put out her hand. Gripping Kitty’s fingers in her own, she asked softly, “You love him, don’t you?”
Kitty couldn’t look at her.
“Yes,” she whispered, “I do love him…very much.”
“Yet you let him go?” Mildred had wondered about that. Suddenly she realised” You thought you’d be a burden, didn’t you? That was why?”
She squeezed Kitty’s fingers encouragingly.
“From what I saw tonight, Harry is a man deeply in love. Unlike me, he would never have deserted you, especially if he thought you loved him. So I can only think he left because you asked him to.”
“Harry has made a good life for himself.”
“I see.” She took her hand away from Kitty’s, and straightened her back. For a while she looked at her niece and her heart went out to her. But no good would come of raking over old coals.
“What about Jack?”
Kitty was taken aback.
“What about him?”
“How do you feel about being his wife?” She had good reason for asking.
Kitty had to smile.
“He doesn’t give up, that’s for sure. After promising he wouldn’t, he asked me again tonight.” Before Mildred could voice the question she added, “I’m afraid he went away disappointed.”
“Would it be so awful, being Mrs. Jack Harper?”
Kitty thought jawful’ was a little strong.
“It’s not what I want,” she said. What she wanted was to turn the clock back, but that was like asking for the moon. She gave a little laugh, saying philosophically, “But then, we can’t always have what we want, can we?”
Mildred mused on Kitty’s wry comment before advising, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you of all people how sometimes we have to settle for what we have…instead of what we want.” She regarded Kitty’s face, the elfin features and abundance of dark hair, the telling brown eyes with their thick dark lashes. And not for the first time she wondered what would become of this big-hearted young woman.
“About Jack…” She had Jo pursue it, because she truly believed that in the circumstances, being Jack Harper’s wife would be the best solution for Kitty. She couldn’t bring herself to speculate on the way it would also salve her own conscience for the blow she was about to deliver.
“I honestly think you should consider his offer. He worships the ground you walk on, and has few vices that I can think of. Oh, I know I didn’t take too kindly to him at first, but I’ve come to feel he would be a good husband to you, Kitty. You wouldn’t go short of anything either.”
She felt there was more to Mildred’s enthusiasm than she was admitting.
“Why the hurry to get me down the aisle?” Her forthright gaze met Mildred’s.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
Getting out of her chair, Mildred plodded on bare feet to the other side of the room where she stood with her back to the sink and her face turned up to the ceiling. Biting her lip, she asked, “What do you think of Eddie?”
That was not the question Kitty had expected. It threw her for a minute.
“I liked him,” she answered.
“He seems a really nice bloke.”
She smiled.
“I’d say he was smitten with you, since he hardly left your side all evening.”
Mildred’s gaze softened.
“Would you be very surprised if I told you he’d asked me to marry him?”
In a minute Kitty was across the room.
“That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed giving her a hug.
“You sly thing…a proposal, and you never said a word!”
/> Mildred had not dared to hope for such a reaction. The relief showed on her face.
“Don’t you mind?”
Kitty laughed for joy.
“MIND?”
She danced her aunt round the room.
“I’m thrilled for you.” Now she was firing questions.
“You said yes, I hope? When is it to be? Can I be maid of honour?” Suddenly aware of the severe look on Mildred’s face, she drew away.
“What’s the matter? Is there a problem?”
“Not for me. Kitty. But I’m afraid my getting married does pose a problem for you.”
“In what way?”
“Eddie wants me to live with him. But, I’m still in such a mess. My ex is abroad all the time, but he’ll be back with a vengeance. I’ve managed to fend him off so far, as you know. But the house will have to go.”
Surprised that Mildred should ever want to sell this lovely old house, yet realising that it was her aunt’s decision and no one else’s, Kitty reassured her, “If you’re worrying about me, then please don’t. I know how hard it’s been, though you’ve put on a brave face through it all. Now, maybe the time is right to let go.”
Suffused with shame, Mildred told her quietly, “I should have told you before, only I was too much of a coward. You see, I’ve already found a buyer. I had the estate agent here one day while you were at work. He had a couple on his list who were looking for a place like this, in this area.” Steeling herself against the astonished expression on Kitty’s face, she went on hurriedly, “I’ve already exchanged. I’m sorry, but we have to vacate this house two weeks from today.”
Kitty could hardly believe her ears.
“TWO WEEKS!”
“I know I should have told you,” Mildred muttered, “Eddie kept on to me to tell you, but I couldn’t bring myself to come out with it.” Her voice broke and she hung her head.
“I’ve always been a coward,” she croaked.
“Nobody knows that better than you.”
Kitty didn’t hesitate. Taking the wretched woman in her arms, she said, “You’re no coward. Look how you got yourself together again after the break-up of your marriage. I’m happy for you, and I don’t want you to worry about me. You’re right, of course…you should have told me, given me time to adjust, time to look around for a place of my own. But it’s all right. We all make mistakes.” Me more than most, she thought.
Living a Lie Page 28
