by Vi Carter
Her nostrils flare and she inhales quickly while nodding her head. The eagerness in her eyes has me smirking.
“I need to hear you say it.”
“Fine. I give you my word.” She licks her lips while looking at mine.
“You’d promise me anything right now to get what you want.” I search her face but she’s too focused on my lips, her hands working at my zipper.
My fingers tighten on her face and her eyes snap to mine. “What the fuck Gerald?” She yanks her face out of my fingers, her skin already turning red.
“You’re a mess.” I stand up and pull up my zipper.
“Fuck you.” She’s still on her knees as I turn to her. “You walk around like you're better than us, but you’re only the help just like us.”
I walk back to her and take her by the arm pulling her off the floor. “Go home, sleep it off.”
Pulling her arm from my hand, her hands slam into my chest. “Don’t touch me you fucking creep. What are you gay? It’s funny I’ve never heard of you with anyone. Gerald the weirdo.”
Her angry words are growing louder but I didn’t care about the clients. I just hated hearing her voice. It was irritating me.
“You’re drunk and angry that I won’t sleep with you. So just go home. I’ll ring you a taxi.” I offer but my words seem to infuriate her.
She snorts. “Fuck you.” She pushes me again with all her force. Both hands slam heavily into my chest. A spark ignites inside me as a window into my past opens but closes just as quickly, like someone quickly looking out a window before pulling the curtain closed. But that glimpse is enough.
A scream of fear more than pain erupts from Wendy. I keep my body pinned against hers as I push her face into the wall. My fingers tighten on the back of her neck.
“You women cry for equality for the good stuff,” I say and push her harder until she screams again. She looks at me from the whites of her eyes, pure fear shines there. “But it’s okay to put your hands on us, but we can’t put our hands on you.” I squeeze again.
Tears leak from her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
I release her. “If you don’t stop drinking, you’re fired.” I step further away but she still huddles against the wall while nodding in agreement. I straighten my jacket. “You should take the rest of the night off.”
She nods again pushing hair out of her face and wipes tears off her cheeks. “I’ll arrange for a taxi now.”
She only nods again as I leave the room. A few minutes later Wendy arrives back out on the floor. She smiles at everyone until her eyes meet mine, she dips her head and goes out back.
“Gerald my main man.” Jake slings an arm over me and kisses me on the cheek. “You look shit hot in that suit. Like James Bond or something.”
“You look drunk,” I respond.
He laughs. “Too fucking right I’m drunk. Look at this place.” He sounds like an excited child as he jumps on the spot and grins at every woman who passes us. “I’m in heaven.” He bites his fist and I can’t help but smile at him.
“You met Linda.”
He removes his fist from his mouth. “She’s always been bangable but now, fuck me, Gerald, she’s hot. I’m going to go for it with her.”
I laugh. “She’ll eat you alive,” I say and make my way to the bar.
“Two whiskeys,” I say to Simon.
“I don’t mind what she does to me. I’m so glad I bumped into you man. This place is my new home.”
Simon places the two whiskeys on the bar and disappears to serve other customers.
“You can’t stay here,” I say, hating to do this to him.
“Why not?” He doesn’t sound offended, the drink is helping.
“Linda’s orders.”
He grins. “She’s giving orders now?” Jake picks up the whiskey and knocks it back like it’s a shot.
“Let’s just get pissed tonight and then figure shit out tomorrow.”
I raise my glass to his empty one and take a swing of my drink. Maybe letting loose wouldn’t be a bad idea, it had been a long time since I let myself relax.
“Yeah let’s,” I tell him and he drums his hands on the bar while calling for more drinks.
CHAPTER SEVEN
HER
My damp hair has created a wet circle on my pillow. Sitting up, I throw the wet pillow on the floor and take a fresh one from the other side of the bed. My mind won’t slow down. Every time I think about what happened in the forest, shame burns my cheeks and coats my chest. I had never felt those things before, the good and the bad. I turn on my side and try to push down the ‘good’ thoughts. There was something wrong with me for enjoying it. My father always said I wasn’t right. Disgust curls in the pit of my stomach. Closing my eyes tightly I just want to sleep but my mind won’t let me.
I always knew when my father was home from the pub. Every time, without fail, he would walk into our small table and chairs causing them to screech along the tiled floor. The sensible thing would have been to move them, but I refused to help his situation at all. My mother wasn’t around, he never spoke of her and I never asked about her, so it was just me and my father.
“Cara.” His voice had held a note of panic. Normally I would ignore him but this particular night, had me getting out of my single bed, and slipping my feet into my carrot-colored slippers.
“Cara.” His voice sounded more desperate.
“I’m coming.” Pulling the coral dressing gown around me, I turned on lights as I made my way down the stairs. The moment I walked into the kitchen my initial reaction was to straighten the table, but his shining eyes and open hands had my legs turning to jelly.
“What is it?” I managed to get to him and take his hands in mine. He wouldn’t look at me.
“Dad, what's wrong?”
Watery green eyes that still were edged from alcohol pleaded with me. “I’m in a lot of trouble pumpkin.”
He hadn’t used my nickname for a long time.
“What kind of trouble.” Releasing his hands, I fold mine over my chest. The use of my nickname had all my alarm bells ringing.
“I owe a lot of money.” He drags out a chair and sits down. Taking a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket, he lights one up.
Getting the ashtray off the counter, I slid it across the table to him. Him owing money wasn’t news to me, I had spent a whole childhood answering the door to debt collectors, telling them he wasn’t here when he was really holed up in the sitting room.
“I don’t have anything dad.”
His head shoots up to me and a look of shock spreads across his face. “I would never ask you for money, pumpkin.” There he went again using that name. He stares at me before inhaling deeply and blowing smoke around our small and outdated kitchen. He clears his throat. “I don’t have any money either.”
It was there on the tip of my tongue to tell him if he hadn’t drank it all, we might have some, but I don’t. I decided to be a good daughter and fill up the kettle. A cup of coffee would sober him up and he might figure out a solution in the morning.
“It will be okay dad,” I say as I take down two cups. Since I was up, I may as well have a cup too.
“Cara sit down.”
I hated with each passing moment how sober his voice was becoming. I sit down across from him.
“The woman I owe a lot of money to came up with an arrangement.”
“There I told you it would be okay.” I reach for his hand and he pulls his away from me before putting out the cigarette.
“I don’t want you to panic.” Now he wouldn’t look at me. “But…” He was nodding as he spoke each word clearly so there was no misunderstanding. “She is accepting you as payment.”
My heart stalls before it kicks up a new kind of pace that’s alarming. My hand flutters to my throat.
“It won’t be forever.” He looks at me now and whatever he had told himself to make this okay, is dwindling fast.
“You did what?” The words are whisper
ed.
“Tomorrow you will be collected.”
The laughter that fills the kitchen is tinged with disbelief. “Are you high? Is it drugs now instead of drink?” I rise, pushing his words aside like crumbs. The madness to his words had me breathing a bit easier. It was so crazy that he had to be high.
My father has never put his hand on me so when my arm is yanked and I’m pushed back into the chair, dread curls around the base of my spine and slowly snakes its way up through me. I hate the look in my father’s eye.
“This isn’t a joke Cara.”
Saliva filled my mouth as my heartbeat clouds my ears. “You sold me?”
“I’m sorry I had no choice.”
Bile burns my stomach as my vision blurs. “I don’t know what’s more hurtful, the idea that you agreed to this madness with someone or the fact you’re sitting here telling me this.”
“Cara, pumpkin…”
I blink and my upset is gone. “You do know Father that you can’t sell me. This isn’t the stone age.” My words are rising with each word I speak. My own father trying to sell me to clear his debt. It was fucking laughable.
His old hands grip mine and my throat burns. “They will kill me.”
Oh my God, he wasn’t joking. He had sold me.
“If you don’t go, they will kill me.” He repeats.
I rip my hands out of his. “Let them kill you.” I’m standing and he’s reaching out. Black dots obscure my vision. “Get away from me.” I push him and he falls to his knees where he stays.
“Cara please don’t let them kill me.” His hands are joined in prayer as green eyes shine up at me. I’m standing over him as he shuffles forward on his knees. I can’t watch this full-grown man beg. His six-foot frame bent around my legs as tears fall onto my cheeks.
“Cara please.” His cries now shake his frame.
He clings to me as I cover my mouth in horror at what is happening. “I will never forgive you for this,” I say as I step away from him and he releases me.
“Thank you.” He can’t look at me as he cries into the red and white floor tiles. “Thank you, pumpkin.”
The stairs blur past as I race to the bathroom where I empty my meager dinner into the toilet.
I sit up and push back the blanket on the bed. I never thought this is where I would end up. Climbing out of the bed, I pick the pillow up off the floor that I had dumped there. As I throw it on the bed, the room goes dark. I don’t move as my heart escalates.
“Dance for me.”
I hold still with my back to him. He’s close to me. Close enough that I can smell the alcohol on him. I hate the smell. I’ve been smelling it my whole life. I face the direction his voice came from. The space is pitch black and I can’t make anything out.
“No.” The word gets lodged in my throat, but I manage to squeeze it out. My heartbeat fills my ears and a cold sweat gathers at the back of my neck as I wait, but he hasn’t spoken. He’s still here. Will he hurt me? I have no idea of the consequences, but I feel good saying no. I should have told that to my father. I should have told him I wasn’t for sale.
“You will dance for me.”
Goosebumps break out along my bare arms. Do I dare say no again?
“If you don’t…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. My eyes prod the darkness searching for him, for the man who holds my life in his hands.
“What will happen?” I’m being brave, so brave.
His laughter is cruel and quick. A hand curls around my neck. I jerk back startled, but he holds me tightly cutting off some of the air. When I still, he loosens his hold.
“What do you think will happen?” His rough voice caresses my cheek.
“You’ll kill my father.”
His sharp laughter has me frantically trying to make him out. It’s so dark it’s disarming.
“No, I won’t do that. I will punish you Cara and I don’t think you’d like that very much.” His thumb strokes my neck. I shiver against his touch.
His hand is gone as quickly as it appeared. “Now dance for me.”
With shame burning my eyes, I clench my fist and start to dance for him. There is no way he can see me, so I make my feet heavier on the wooden floor so he knows I’m dancing.
Hands touch my arm and I stop. Heat scorches my back as he presses himself against me. Closing my eyes I hold myself tightly, every muscle in my body tightens as I wait. My hair is pulled back from my neck, his breath brushes the bare skin and I shiver again. My thigh pulses as his fingers trail across it pulling my night dress up in its wake. I suck in my flat stomach as his hands reach for the band of my underwear. My vision blurs and I squeeze my eyes tighter as he removes my underwear and stops. I don’t move but open my eyes and try to figure out what is going on. I can make out the bed, my eyes are adjusting, but I can only see the outline of furniture in the room. He’s behind me, it’s the noise of him removing his clothes that tells me where he is.
“Please don’t.” I grit my teeth and tighten my legs together as his bare chest brushes my back. He’s a lot taller than me. His chin brushes the top of my head as he pulls me closer. My eyes snap open as his erection pulses against me.
Fingers move under the straps of my nightdress and he slides them down my arms removing it until it pools around my feet on the floor. My nails dig into my palms as I stand naked. The urge to cover myself has me keeping my arms at my sides. His large hands roam across my stomach and the muscles spasm at each touch. I exhale loudly as his fingers touch my pussy.
“Don’t move.” The warning is whispered into my ear as he runs his fingers along my clitoris. I bite my lip at the intrusion and the pleasure.
“Spread your legs.” The command has me doing as I’m told. A part of me is excited to see what I will feel next, but a bigger part of me wants this to end. Humiliation starts to raise its head as his fingers slide inside me, it’s an instant reaction to step away but he grips my hips and pushes them deeper before taking them back out.
I gasp as he runs his fingers along my back passage. The same fingers that were just inside me, and like back in the forest, he moves us over to the bed and has me bend over. I squeeze my eyes tight as he runs his wet fingers along my ass. Pulling the cheeks apart, he rubs his erection along me and I squirm only to be kept in place by a large hand on my back. He spreads my legs further apart until it’s painful. I don’t have time to process the pain as he rubs my ass again before spitting on it. I clench my cheeks trying to get away from him without moving too much, but his hand gets tighter as he pushes his erection against my back entrance. He alters between his fingers and cock, each time going a bit deeper.
Pain rolls up with pleasure and pleasure rolls up with humiliation and I no longer know what I’m feeling. He pushes into me again and I can’t stop the groan that leaves my lips. His movements grow faster but I can sense that he is holding back, not going too deep. His cock stretches me and I reach back not sure if I want to pull him closer or push him away. He grips my wrist stopping me as he sinks a little deeper inside me. I groan louder now and a whimper follows, and pain burns, as he pulls out before pushing back in. His pace is quickening. He releases my wrist and returns to holding me up as he thrusts in and out of my ass. My fists curl around the bedspread as he groans and pushes a little deeper. His cock jerks inside me and all my nerve endings feel as if they are on fire. Something in me is building up and I’m waiting for it to erupt. I know I’m going to come and I don’t want to; I want him to stop. I want this to be my choice. His breaths grow heavier and I know he’s going to come. Biting my lip, I hold back any pleasure that was building inside me until I can taste blood. He releases while gripping my waist and my eyes burn as he goes still inside me, emptying himself. He pulls out slowly, but it still burns and I’m staring at my bed in shock. I don’t move even as he steps away. I listen and try not to think as he gets dressed. I don’t try to turn around as my bedroom door closes and I’m alone. A sob rips from my lips as I allow my body to crumbl
e on the bed.
CHAPTER EIGHT
HIM
I can’t stay in the house. Cara’s cries follow me the whole way to the club. I had wanted to stay outside her door and just listen while a small part of me wanted her to stop. Tears were a form of painkillers that our body produced to help ease the pain. I had wanted to ask her if it was physical pain or mental pain that she was feeling.
The air is heavy as I open the doors and the music and sin consumes me. I want to sin again. There is power in doing wrong. It’s like stepping off a ledge only to find concrete beneath your feet. You took the dive, but you were fine. Men pawed at women they wouldn't get without money, and women danced for men only because they had power. It was a beautiful cycle, one I was proud of creating. Linda ruins my fun when she stares at me, her eyes full of accusation. I pull off my tie as I walk to the bar where Jake’s asleep. The moment Simon sees me he nods and flicks a glance at Jake. I sit as Linda arrives beside me. She doesn’t face me but keeps her attention on the room. “You need to sort this mess out.” I glance at the mess in question. It wasn’t something we normally tolerated. If this were anyone else, they would have been removed from the premises. But Simon had just cleaned around Jake. Linda pulls at the back of Jake’s shirt and he stirs. His gaze focuses on Linda as I order a drink.
“Hi sexy. Are you ready to do some real damage?” His words are delivered with a wink, but Linda is beyond pissed as she slams a hand on her hip and increases the hardness in her narrowed eyes.
“I’ll sort it,” I say while picking up my glass. My words were also a dismissal, one she wasn’t taking.
“Clearly you’re not.”
She has my attention now. I face her wondering where this is coming from.
“Oh, she has you by the balls.” Jake reaches out to slap me on the back. I shift making him miss and he lands on the floor.
“I said I’ll sort it.”
Linda continues to challenge me with a stare but she finally walks away. I knock my drink back as I watch her step into the masses. Any girl who spots her seems to perk up, they dance a bit better, or smile a bit wider. I had her here because she was the best at keeping these girls in line, not for her opinion. Placing the glass on the bar, I get off my stool and stuff my tie in my pocket before picking Jake up off the floor.
