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Esther gasped as she awoke. Fortunately, she hadn’t done anything more physical than that, but the wound in her side still twinged with pain. It was dark. Given the absence of the normal bustle aboard ship, she guessed that it was quite late. She did hear what might be a touch of very faint laughter coming from below. Probably from the officer’s wardroom—or gun room as the crew called it. She might have just been hearing things though.
Her tongue was sticky against the roof of her mouth and she realized that she was extremely thirsty. She had drained the cup on her bed stand before falling asleep, so she carefully stood and walked over to her vanity. Mac usually left her a small pitcher of water on it before she went to bed and tonight was no exception. She poured some into her cup and drank it all, then refilled it and downed it as well. She stood there for a moment, listening to the creek and sway of the ship. It was interrupted momentarily by another sound. Yes, that was definitely laughter. It had been very quiet, but distinct.
Esther shivered in the chill night air. Alright, she thought, time to put something on besides just my underclothes. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out her nightgown, carefully pulling it on over her head. She realized now that she had subconsciously decided to go find out where the laughter was coming from. She couldn’t go out in just a nightgown though, so she pulled out her robe and tied it around her. She stepped out of her bedchamber into the great cabin. Only a single lantern remained lit in the room, its warm glow reflecting off of Oluchi’s dark skin as he stood guard next to her door.
“Hello Oluchi,” she said.
He nodded.
“What time is it?”
“Half past midnight.”Esther gave him a smile and then walked out of the great cabin, through her small dining compartment and out onto the main deck. Oluchi followed, his characteristic two steps behind her. The cold wind tried to force its way through her layers of clothing, but her robe and gown kept it at bay and only her bare feet were cold. The marine sentry guarding this door nodded to her in surprise, but said nothing.
Esther walked towards the bow of the ship, putting off her curiosity about the laughter momentarily in order to enjoy the thrill of being up on deck and out of her room for a few minutes. She knew Dr. Scott wouldn’t approve of her moving about this much, but she wanted to see her ship. The crew on watch gave her peculiar looks, but no one approached or said anything.
Just before she reached the bow of the ship, she held her hand up and gestured for Oluchi to wait here. She wanted to be alone—or as alone as possible, anyway. She walked the few remaining steps to the bow and folded her arms across her chest against the cold as she stared out into the darkness. She had been so focused on ensuring that her mission could continue, and with portraying a strong image for her officer’s and crew, that the full impact of the attempt on her life and the fact that she was pregnant with twins hadn’t sunk in before. But now that she had gotten some rest and reassured her crew, she could feel uncomfortable tendrils of fear seeping up from her subconscious like a water swell prior to the impact of a large wave and her sudden shiver had nothing to do with the cold air. Perhaps coming up here to be alone wasn’t such a good idea. It was then that she felt something touch the tip of her nose, and then her hand. She held her hand up and was briefly able to see a white, crystalline object before it melted into a tiny bead of water. Snow. It was starting to snow.
They were small flakes at first, but then they grew progressively larger as the snow began to fall gently all across the deck. Esther stared straight up into the sky, letting the snow settle gently on her face for a few minutes and the swell of doubt and fear that had been growing within her ebbed suddenly and subsided back into the recesses of her subconscious. Esther wiped her face, sending up a quick prayer of gratitude, then turned and walked back to Oluchi. She looked up into his eyes for several moments, not wanting to be alone anymore, trying to plumb their depths.
Oluchi’s eyes were as immutable as ever, but there was also a comfortable warmth there. A depth of friendship that seemed to bypass his defenses and transmit understanding to her. Finally she looked away and stepped over to the companionway leading below. She climbed down its steep steps and walked quietly past the hammocks strung up in the berthing area where her off-watch crew slept. Dim lamplight could be seen through the window in the door leading to the aft cabins and the officer’s wardroom. The muted laughter was coming from there.
She opened the door and walked down the short hall. When she stepped into the wardroom, she was surprised to see Lady Adeline sitting around a small table with several of her officers—including Lt. Ben-Ezra—apparently playing cards and laughing along with the others. It was a side of the young noblewoman Esther had never seen and seemed incongruous with the stiff persona that Esther had attributed to her.
Ben-Ezra caught sight of Esther and suddenly jumped up to stand at attention. “Your Majesty!” he said, and the remaining officer’s quickly stood. Adeline stood as well, although not as abruptly as the others, and a featureless mask slid across her face, wiping away the smile and laughter that had been there a moment before. Esther waved for them all to sit back down. They hesitated, unsure what to do.
“Did you need something, Your Majesty?” Lt. Ben-Ezra asked, seeming a bit unsure of himself.
“No, thank you, Lieutenant, I was just wandering. Please, continue.” She gestured for them to sit again. They looked at her hesitantly, but then sat back down. They sat in silence for a moment, but when she neither said anything, nor left, Mr. Zaid, the Retribution’s Purser, dealt the cards again. There was no laughter any longer, however, and Esther could tell that they were uncomfortable with their presence. I should go, she thought, but her longing for human companionship held her fast. Perhaps if I join them it might make them more comfortable. Esther really didn’t want to be alone again at the moment, and she had too many nerves to go back to sleep. She made up her mind and stepped forward resolutely, pulling an empty chair up next to the table.
“Deal me in,” she said. That caused a reaction as the four people around the table looked up at her in shocked surprise. Even Adeline let a look of surprise slip momentarily past the unreadable mask she had put on. They recovered quickly, however, and Mr. Zaid dealt her some cards as well. It was then that she realized she had never played cards before, and while she had observed others play—mostly her friend Tanya—there was a big difference between observing and active participation. Intellectually, she knew the rules of the game, but Esther was wise enough to know that there were nuances that only experience could teach. Tanya had been an excellent player, but Tanya could bluff a mule into going any direction she wanted. Esther had always found truth and fact to be of paramount logical importance—a fact that her officers and the Lady Adeline began to take full advantage of as each successive hand was dealt.
Esther didn’t understand it…she had done well at the negotiating table in Ardmorr—excluding that first, horrible day that is—and she would have thought that those skills would translate directly to a card game such as this one. However, given the ever-increasing amount of money she was losing as time went by, perhaps cards weren’t her forte. She had never been very good at bluffing. At least the others were loosening up a bit more and their jovial mood returned, if somewhat muted. Even Adeline smiled. There was more to the young woman than Esther had previously perceived.
“Well gentlemen…and ladies,” said Ben-Ezra finally, nodding to Adeline and Esther. “I’ve stayed up way too late and think I will retire now. It was a pleasure, Your Majesty…Lady Adeline.” He stood with a bow. With that, the game was over and the other officers stood and bowed as well, except for Mr. Zaid, who began cleaning up the cards. Esther stood, pulling the chair back over to where she had gotten it from. She was about to turn and leave when she noticed Adeline glance her way. She seemed like she wanted to say something, but was hesitant to do so. Not really wanting to talk to her, but seeing that she obviously had somethi
ng on her mind, Esther met her gaze. “Lady Adeline, would you walk with me a moment?”
“Of course,” Adeline replied. Esther turned and they walked down the short hall and out the door from the officer’s area. Oluchi, her ever present watchman, trailed behind. Esther looked over at Adeline as they walked, not quite sure what to say.
“You don’t need to say anything,” Adeline said suddenly. “I know how awkward this must be, given our previous interactions.” She paused. “Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” They had reached the companionway and Adeline paused again as Esther climbed up onto the main deck. The cold night air blew Esther’s loose hair across her face and she brushed it back as Adeline came up on deck.
“I wanted to apologize, Your Majesty,” continued Adeline, “I—”
“Please don’t call me that,” said Esther with a grimace. For some reason, it seemed so awkward when Adeline called her that.
“Um…how would you like me to address you?” Adeline asked, confused.
“When we’re not in a formal setting, please—just call me Esther.”
“Alright…Esther,” said Adeline, seeming uncharacteristically flustered, “I, uh…well, I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you before.” They had reached the marine sentry guarding the door leading back to her anteroom/dining compartment. The sentry pulled the door open and held it as they walked into the anteroom and continued on into the great cabin.
Esther turned to Oluchi. “Oluchi, why don’t you go get some sleep?” she said, “I’m going to head back to bed soon and Corporal Naudar is ample protection at the moment.”
“I’m fine,” he said, his eyes flicking to Adeline. He knew how much she had antagonized Esther during the negotiations in Ardmorr and obviously wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone with the young noblewoman. “It is my job to stay wit’ you. It is my turn on watch.”
“I know, and thank you, but I think Lady Adeline and I need to speak privately for a few moments. You can wait in the anteroom if you’d like.” He hesitated another moment, glancing unhappily at Adeline again, but then nodded and walked out, closing the door.
Lit only by the single lantern that had been lit when she left, the great cabin seemed too dark to meet with Adeline alone. The lantern’s dim light flickered eerily off the furnishings and the newly installed, thick wooden shutters covering the large windows along the aft wall. Esther walked over and lit a few more lanterns, brightening the interior of the room enough to banish the eerie shadows. The comfortable warmth of the great cabin—provided by the stove that Mac kept stoked to a pleasant temperature—made Esther realize how cold her bare feet had become, so she walked over to be nearer the furnace where its heat radiated into the wooden deck, keeping it warm. Adeline walked over to stand next to her. Esther didn’t speak, letting the noblewoman gather her thoughts. Finally, she turned to Esther.
“After that first day of negotiations, my father took me to task for the way I had treated you. He also accused me of something shameful.” Adeline dropped her eyes to the floor briefly. Then she seemed to force herself to pull them back up and look Esther in the eye. “He accused me of being jealous,” she continued, her cheeks flushing. “I was quite embarrassed to realize that he was right. I had succumbed to jealousy—something so anciently base that I couldn’t even recognize it for what it was.” Adeline paused a moment, looking down at her hands. “I thought I was above experiencing that type of emotion…and so I blamed you and convinced myself that the fault must have been yours for trying to undermine me politically. I thought you were trying to drive a wedge between me and Prince Frederick.”
Esther was shocked. She had guessed that Adeline’s antagonism stemmed from Esther’s interactions with Crown Prince Hektor’s son Frederick, but she had attributed it to simple resentment, not jealousy. Why would Adeline be jealous of me? Adeline’s beauty far surpassed her own. She was talented, educated, and well positioned in the Ardmorran aristocracy. And from what Esther could tell, though her betrothal to Frederick was politically motivated, both Adeline and Frederick were very comfortable with the arrangement.
Adeline smiled at the look on Esther’s face. “I felt the same way when my father said it. What did you have for me to be jealous of, I asked myself? I come from a long line of nobles and am considered a rising star within Ardmorran politics and the diplomatic corp. I’ve received a great education and am the foremost swordswoman in all of Ardmorr, and I am betrothed to Prince Frederick,” she said with a smile. Adeline paused a moment looking around the cabin, the smile fading from her face. Her eyes stopped on the shuttered windows and she stared as if she could see through them out into the night sky. “Almost as soon as I thought those things I realized that I was jealous of you and it shamed me to realize it. You, who are two years younger than me, a farm girl with little formal education, just happened to be in the right place at the right time and you are now Queen of all Hadiq with more direct power than any Ardmorran noble, King, or Queen…”
Esther huffed. If only Adeline knew how the internal political dynamic and power of the Hadiqan nobility hamstrung her, she might think differently. However, Esther knew what Adeline meant because, on paper, the Hadiqan King and Queen had more direct power as there was no Parliament in the Hadiqan Empire.
“…but then,” continued Adeline, focusing Esther’s thoughts once again, “I was ashamed of those thoughts as well because I had read the accounts of the Nautilus’ crew, and how you influenced them to such a degree that they followed you across desert and storm, and even now serve you aboard the Retribution, and intellectually I knew that it wasn’t that you were just in the right place and time. It was your resolve, talent, and skill that enabled you to succeed where others would fail. You, a self-educated farm girl, the daughter of an immigrant—with a grace, talent, and skill in dancing and with the sword that I envied. And you have the makings of a fine diplomat—even if your style is a bit abrupt.” She smiled. “And I hated you for that. You had brought me to a place that I had never been before.” Adeline stopped, looking away, wiping a tear from her eye and smudging her perfectly applied makeup.
“I’m sorry,” said Esther, feeling the other woman’s pain and not knowing what else to say.
Adeline shook her head and looked back at Esther. “Don’t be,” she said. “I actually want to thank you.”
Esther’s eyebrows rose in shocked surprise once more. “Thank me?” she asked, not quite believing what she was hearing.
Adeline laughed. “Yes. I wanted to thank you…and apologize. You taught me something incredibly valuable. A lesson I had never fully learned. You taught me humility—or the beginnings of it at least. I have a feeling that humility is a lifelong lesson.”
Esther laughed and nodded. “I don’t think I am all of those things that you described, but I would be more than happy to set our past differences aside and start over.”
“Thank you,” said Adeline with a grateful smile.
“Although I’m never playing cards with you again,” she said, pointing at the young Ardmorran noblewoman.
Adeline laughed. “That’s probably a good idea,” she said. “In fact, you probably shouldn’t play cards with anyone again. I don’t know how someone who is as difficult to read at the negotiating table as you are could be so bad at bluffing in cards!”
Book II – The North
Chapter 22
Valsgärd
Dearest Asserius,
I know that you will have heard about the attempt on my life prior to you receiving this letter, but I wanted to let you know that I am alright and undeterred, and that our babes are alright too. Yes, you read correctly, my physician tells me that there are two and I’m very excited to get to know them.
We are approaching the Northern Kingdoms and will arrive in Valsgärd today...
Esther stood at the fore railing of the quarterdeck, looking out over the majesty of the great mountain fjords of the north. The Retribution sailed some thousand fe
et above the ocean waves, but the broad face of the mountain cliffs jutting up from the sea-filled fjords rose above them still, dwarfing her ship.
The cold wind penetrated her thick cloak, causing goosebumps to form along her arms. Esther barely noticed. The beauty of the mountains distracted from the cold and—what some might say—forbidding atmosphere. To Esther, it just seemed too grand to be forbidding, as if the snow and cold were somehow a ruse—a scarecrow to drive the un-adventuresome away. She barely noticed the dull pain from the wound in her side as she took in the majesty of it all. She’d have to remove the stitches soon and she wasn’t looking forward to it.
Except for the morning after the card game and her conversation with Adeline, the rest of the journey north had been uneventful. Mac had found out about her little excursion to the gun room. “Did you really walk down and play cards with some of your officers and the Duke of Manchester’s daughter, in the middle of the night, wearing only a nightgown and a robe?” he had asked. He had been practically apoplectic by the time he had finished asking the question. The memory of the look on his face when she had answered affirmatively still brought a smile to her face.
In fact, other than the limitations imposed upon her by her recovery, it had actually been an enjoyable few days. She had spent quite a few hours talking with Lady Adeline, and their relationship had blossomed into a friendship that Esther would never have previously thought possible. She had come to really enjoy the other woman’s company.
She would have loved to practice with her sword and be able to spar with Adeline, but there was no way Geoffrey would have even let her try—and rightfully so. It was going to take some time for her injury to heal fully and if she didn’t take it easy, it would take even longer. She looked down and noticed that she had unconsciously started rubbing her belly where her babes grew. She really had come close to losing them. She hoped Asserius reacted to the news of the attack alright. Of course, he has Yasmin to comfort him now. Esther frowned as she felt a sudden burst of jealousy. She had gone through so much…had thrust aside her own emotional well-being and desires so soon after being assaulted by Ikenna, to be a Queen and wife to Asserius so that he could give her these precious babes, and now she was being replaced. The cold, gray mountains now seemed suddenly forbidding and unwelcoming. She was here—and beautiful, curvaceous Yasmin was with Asserius.
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