“Esther!” Mac’s voice cracked like a whip behind them and Geoffrey quickly let go and stepped away.
Esther’s heart, already racing from Geoffrey’s touch, seemed to leap up into her throat and she turned around quickly, straightening her kameez tunic where it had slid it off her shoulder when Geoffrey had wrapped his arms around her. Shame burned through her, searingly hot as she looked from Mac to Geoffrey.
“Dr. Scott,” said Mac in a stern tone, “I think you should leave.”
Geoffrey nodded sharply, his face flushed, looking every bit as shamed as Esther felt. The shame hadn’t banished the longing she felt, however, and every step that Geoffrey took away from her towards the door to her great cabin was almost physically painful. She couldn’t help tears of loneliness and shame from welling up in her eyes. She closed them to avoid seeing the door close as Geoffrey left and the tears fell to the ground. She kept them closed because she didn’t want to see the look on Mac’s face.
“Esther, what were you thinking?” the older man said. “What if I had been Najafi?” She heard him step closer to her and he spoke in more hushed tones. “What if he had seen his King’s new Queen, and a foreign one at that, doing what you were doing?” His tone grew harsh, but remained hushed. “You do realize that could be interpreted as treason, don’t you? They could kill you for that.”
Esther could not do him the discourtesy of keeping her eyes closed, regardless of what she might see, so she opened them, tears flowing freely down her cheeks now, dripping from her chin to join the first drops that had fallen in small puddles on the floor. The shame she saw in his eyes cut her deeply and she felt intense nausea surface, but she swallowed and kept standing in place. She could not take the easy rode and turn away. Mac was right, and she needed to face him and receive this rebuke like a grown woman, not a child.
“I’m sorry Mac.”
His face softened at last and he walked over to her, taking her hands in his. “Esther, you are like a daughter to me, but one that has grown and become something more than I could ever be, and I love you, you know that by now, don’t you?”
She nodded and more tears dropped to the floor.
“And I’m not just talking about becoming a Queen. That’s something to describe you, but it’s not the sum of who you are.” He paused and she could sense his demeanor hardening. She braced herself for what he was about to say.
“That’s why I’m so upset…because you are more than I could ever be, and I expect more of you than I expect of myself and most anybody else. You didn’t have to choose Asserius, but you did,” he said, “Now you need to live up to those obligations.”
Esther nodded, wiping her cheeks and letting out a long, slow breath. “You’re wrong about me Mac…I’m no more than anybody else is. But you’re right about Asserius…and I’m sorry. I just… Now that Oluchi’s gone, I feel so alone and…it’s just that… I didn’t know that I was going to have to share my husband, especially with someone as beautiful as Yasmin. And Geoffrey and I…” Esther trailed off, not knowing how to finish what she was going to say.
“I know Esther. We never know what the future is going to bring when we make these commitments. And it’s not like Asserius had much of a choice about taking another wife. Besides, he asked permission, and you gave it. I know that you didn’t have many options and none of them were good, and it wasn’t fair, but that’s just the way things go sometimes.”
Esther nodded. “I know.”
Mac stepped forward and gave her a brief hug. “I know it’s not the same,” he said in her ear, “but anytime you feel lonely and need a hug, I’m here.”
Esther exhaled and a half laugh/half cry escaped from her lips involuntarily and she smiled up at him. “Thanks Mac.”
He was about to say something, then hesitated. Finally, he spoke. “I think you should consider sending Dr. Scott away.”
A panicked feeling swelled up within her. Geoffrey, gone forever? She understood Mac’s reasoning, but that didn’t make the feeling of panic go away. After a moment, she finally nodded.
“I think I should be there when you tell him,” he said.
Esther nodded again, wiping fresh tears from her eyes as they began to flow freely again. “We should do it now,” she said with a sniff.
Mac nodded and walked out the door. He returned a moment later. He stood next to her and they waited in silence. Esther took the time to compose herself as best she could, but the thought of sending Geoffrey away filled her with dread and a deep sadness. There was a knock at the door.
“Yes?” called Esther, her tone of voice not nearly as strong as she’d like it to be.
Corporal Dilshad, one of her marine sentries, opened the door. “Dr. Scott to see you as requested, Your Majesty,” he said, his eyes sliding away from her own when he saw the tears.
“Let him in.”
Geoffrey walked in, his face looking suddenly haggard. He walked over to them and started speaking. “I—”
Esther held up a hand, interrupting whatever he was going to say. He fell silent, his eyes dropping to the floor.
She didn’t say anything for a moment. She couldn’t say anything as she watched him struggle with his own emotions—not when all she wanted to do was reach out and comfort him. When he looked back up into her eyes, it seemed to give her a little strength and she took a deep breath, wiping her tears.
“I think it might be best,” she said, “If you…return to Ardmorr.”
“Please, no, Esther,” he said in a rush, “I’m sorry, I—”
Esther held up her hand again, the tears she had been trying so hard to hold back spilling over onto her cheeks at last. “We can’t Geoffrey. We can never be…” She couldn’t continue, her voice was too choked with emotion.
“I know,” he said resignedly, looking down. “I know we can never be together, and I am so, so sorry to have put you in this position. I just saw how much you were hurting and…” He looked back up and a determined resolve entered his eyes. “Please don’t send me away. If you let me stay, I will never do anything like that again.”
“Geoffrey—” Mac started to say.
“I know what I did was wrong, Mac,” Geoffrey interrupted, “I won’t do it again. In fact, I won’t enter your presence again, Your Majesty, ever…unless Mac is there to escort me.” Geoffrey turned to Mac. “Would that satisfy you Mac?” His voice was pleading.
Mac sighed and Esther turned to him, a feeling of hope bursting in her heart.
Maybe it was the look of hope in her eyes, or maybe it was Geoffrey’s sincere promise, Esther didn’t know, but when Mac nodded wordlessly, the sudden feeling of relief and happiness was so strong that she couldn’t help but turn and wrap her arms tightly around the old man’s neck and cry with joy.
“Thank you, Mac. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she said. She turned to Geoffrey and could see his relief as well, but his eyes were also filled with sadness and she sobered, her sudden joy diminishing.
He nodded to her, then turned and walked out the door. It took every ounce of strength she had to not call out to him, but she knew she couldn’t do that.
She looked over at Mac and could see that it pained him to see her in distress. She sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. It was decided then—she would return Oluchi’s remains to his family and try to broker an impossible treaty with the Easterners. And she’d have to do it with a newly erected barrier between her and Geoffrey. Obtaining this treaty may be a hopeless task, but it was her duty to see it done.
“Mac,” she said at last, her voice still shaky with emotion, “Please let Mr. Najafi know to make preparations to get underway. We sail for the Eastern Isles first thing in the morning.”
THE END
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’d also like acknowledge Dave and Scott for their help polishing it up, and for Laurie’s excellent customized cover, which captured an amazing moment from the book.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Benjami
n J. Boswell is a science fiction, fantasy, and mystery author originally from Utah. At the time of this writing, he and his wife Amy reside in Colorado, where they live with their six children and a their dog Mya (who his wife rescued and Ben has grudgingly come to love).
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: www.facebook.com/benjaminjboswell
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