My Perfect Drug (Reapers MC: Ellsberg Chapter Book 2)

by Bijou Hunter

  My orgasm refuses to be denied forever. When the heat rushes through me, I’m forced to cover my mouth with both hands to keep from crying out. Dash’s fingers play with my nipples, increasing the pleasure.

  “Now you,” I promise once I catch my breath. “Tell me if I’m hurting you.”

  A cocky Dash opens his mouth, ready to show off the bravado my orgasm offered him. He’s nearly glowing with male swagger. Then I reach around my rolling hips to caress his achingly sensitive testes.

  Poor Dash loses his voice, though his mouth remains open. I smile at the sight of his eyes rolling back before he turns to liquid under me. I’m surprised by how quickly my teasing fingers bring him to the finish line.

  Sighing at the feel of his hot seed flooding my body, I want to wake up every morning in this exact way. Will that happen with a baby on the way? No, life isn’t a perpetual vacation, but a girl can dream.

  “You are my Lily Bear,” he says, kissing my cheeks, forehead, and finally lips. “No one else will ever satisfy.”

  Grinning, I tighten my lady parts around his male one. “I own this.”

  Dash laughs at my comment or possibly the tone in which I say the words. He always finds my Johansson voice amusing, but he doesn’t disagree with my sentiment. Dash Mullen is mine—body, heart, and soul. It’s why I’ll give up everything to keep him with me, and I’m done pretending otherwise.

  THE CHAPTER WHERE THE KING GETS ANOTHER THORN IN HIS PAW

  THE LOSER

  Despite the constant throbbing pain in my back, I have a great first morning with the Johanssons. First Lily somehow gets me off without injuring either of us. Then she gives me a sponge bath, cleaning me up after a long, sweaty twenty-four hours. Finally, my painful trip down the stairs is rewarded by blueberry waffles courtesy of Farah Johansson. I eat at the large dining room table as if I’m part of the family.

  Whoa, is it weird.

  Sissy wanders around the kitchen, humming mindlessly, seeming confused about her current situation. Is she safe? What happens next? I think she’s mostly afraid of what she’s supposed to do when Lily goes to work in a few hours, and we’re left at the Johansson place alone.

  Before we get a chance to find out if Cooper will bury us in the backyard and tell Lily we ran away, the number of wild women to cranky men increases.

  “We’re here!” Audrey calls out from the front hall. “Where’s Lily and is she armed?” Lily rolls her eyes, realizes Audrey didn’t see it, and rolls them again. Her sister’s smiling face is bright pink from the cold. Before she warms up, Audrey continues with her teasing. “So I heard you blasted your old boyfriend to make room for the new guy. Badass, little lady.”

  “He was not my boyfriend,” Lily growls, going full Delta.

  When Lily moves too quickly in Audrey’s direction, the younger Johansson feigns horror. “Don’t you dare get all up in my face, Lily! I’m holding my baby!” she cries. “My baby!” she adds with more wild emphasis before finally grinning at her boy. “Isn’t he adorable?”

  “Gimme that boy,” Farah says, reaching for Keith. “I want to gobble him up.”

  “Is she high?” Audrey asks Lily. When Farah’s mouth pops open in reaction to the question, her daughter shrugs. “Hey, there’s a pot dealer in the house. It’s a fair question.”

  While the women eyeball each other, a giant man enters the house. He stands more than a foot over his tiny wife as he surveys the room. His gaze finally stops on me as I hobble closer to Lily.

  “Audrey gave me the 4-1-1 on your family’s history and its problems with the Johanssons and those fucking Roach people,” the monster-sized man tells me in a relaxed tone. “I can say wholeheartedly that I don’t give a fuck about any of that crap,” he says and thrusts out his massive hand. “I’m Cap Hayes from Tennessee. Feel free to talk shit about the Johanssons with me. I have no problem listening. Just ask Quaid.”

  Everyone turns to where Quaid and MJ were standing earlier. I never noticed them flee, but I’m sure a frowning Cooper wants a word with his newest son-in-law about what his first son-in-law claimed.

  “I’ve heard only good things about your family,” I tell Cap despite overhearing Cooper talk shit about Angus Hayes and the rest of the “weirdoes across the border.”

  “Pip said you took a blade for the old man here,” Cap says and gestures to Cooper. “A bit of a kiss-ass move, doncha think?”

  “See this?” I ask and lift Lily’s hand. “I’m wrapped around the tiny finger on the end. Getting stabbed to protect her pop seemed like the pussy-whipped move of a man in love.”

  “That it fucking did,” Cap says, grinning at me. “Good move getting her knocked up too. Makes it harder for Grumpy over there to accidentally fucking shoot you over a misunderstanding.”

  “Would you two shut the fuck up?” Cooper growls.

  Audrey walks over to her father and hugs him. “Tsk, Pop, watch your language in front of the children.”

  “What fucking children?” Cooper says. “The baby doesn’t know, and he hears shit from you two every day.”

  “Those children,” Audrey says, gesturing toward Hart and Haydee on the floor. “Also, why are you so angry?”

  “Your sister had to kill Rudy Roche.”

  “He's dead?” Lily asks, backing into me.

  “No, but it won’t be long. Word is the whole fucking Roche family is at the hospital saying goodbye to the creep.”

  “Poor bastards,” Cap mutters. “Well, I’m hungry.”

  “We finished breakfast, but leftovers are in the kitchen,” Farah says before handing Keith to Audrey. “I need to get to work. I’ll drive Hart and Haydee to school with me.”

  Sissy looks at Lily and me for reassurance. We smile in unison, and she exhales deeply. I swear my sister’s aged ten years in the last few days. On the upside, her right eye’s no longer swollen shut.

  Lily lets me make out with her a little before she leaves for work. I want to keep her where I know she’s safe, but she swears no one will mess with her at the pharmacy. I know Cooper will have people nearby. He tended to have a guy or two around when life was rolling smoothly. Now with him on edge, I’m sure he’ll have the entire club keeping a close eye on Lily.

  “Don’t do anything today,” she says. Once her jacket is on, she cups my face. “I’m not kidding. I’ll be checking with MJ to make sure you don’t overdo it. I need you better.”

  “Understood,” I say, feeling like a well-cared-for child.

  Lily swallows hard and then reaches for the door. I start to walk out with her, but she gives me a stern mama-bear look. “Goodness gracious, what did I just say?” she growls.

  Laughing, I step back. “Sorry. Just habit is all. Where you go, I follow like a puppy. It’s my thing, baby, but you’re the one at fault for carrying those sweet treats in your panties.”

  Lily’s scowl softens. “Heal up so you can regain free access to my sweet treats. Understand?”

  “Arr, baby, you know I do.”

  Lily backs out of the door, grinning from ear to pretty ear. Her father appears suddenly and walks with her to her SUV. Farah and the kids pass me next with Sissy soon at my side.

  “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do all day,” she whispers.

  “Just take care of me so I can get better and take care of you.”

  Sissy wraps her arms around me, hides her face against my arm, and cries. She really is lost without her kids around to distract her. If she weren’t so dumb, she would homeschool just so they’d be with her all day.

  I shut the door as a line of cars pulls away from the house. Walking with my arm around a depressed Sissy, I wobble my painful ass back to the living room where I grab my stash. Audrey and Cap stand in the kitchen talking to MJ who has returned from wherever she’d been hiding. Quaid likely left with the convoy.

  Sissy and I end up outside alone where we enjoy a joint in the cold. My sister has nothing to say about anything. The few times I try to get a conversat
ion going, she begins to cry.

  “The kids need to be normal, Sissy,” I say while she sniffles.

  “They can’t be. They got a stupid mama and nothing daddies. Best thing that could happen is they turn out like me. Baddest thing that could happen is they turn out like Topher.”

  “Hey, what about me? I’m not so bad, so maybe they can turn out like me.”

  Sissy’s face is mostly hidden behind a scarf Lily knit her years ago, but I catch her smiling anyway. Yet she falls into silence, thinking about what she wishes was true but can’t be.

  All her life, Sissy dreamed of being like Lily Johansson, but living in her house or wearing her clothes won’t change how her blood runs Mullen. In a way, being here just makes more obvious how different they are.

  This place feels like home while our house felt like a prison. Lily’s parents love her so much it makes them crazy. Our parents hate us so much they’ve made us crazy.

  We can’t be these people. I don’t really want to as long as I have Lily. If I’m good enough for my beautiful baby, then I have no fucks to give about what the rest of the world thinks.

  THE PRINCESS

  Work doesn’t distract me in the way I hoped. Throughout the day, people give me the stink-eye. My Lily-side prefers to keep my head down and ignore them. My Delta-side loses her patience with their dirty looks during my lunch break in a coffee shop a block from work. I stare hard at the people watching me until they back down. If they look back, I stand up and watch them more intently. Most people learn to mind their own business except for one particular broad who hated me in high school and apparently still has a gripe.

  “What?” I ask, giving her my best bug-eyed look.

  Davonia holds my gaze and growls, “Murderer.”

  “Well bless your heart, Devi, but you can’t possibly believe all the cream corn spewing from your thin lips,” I reply with an amused smile. “If you truly imagined me a stone-cold killer, would you go drawing so many circles on your face?”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “I’m talking about a target, you wet sock. You’d have to be a serious kind of foolish to put a bull’s-eye on yourself, knowing how your man suffers from that crushing drinking problem and would never stick around for your kiddos if you went missing.”

  “Don’t you talk about my man, you Mullen-fucking slut bag.”

  With one hand resting on my stomach and the other lovingly tapping my purse, I smile at her. “Every time I see your man, he looks as if he’s already got one foot squarely in a pine box. I can imagine him wanting to end his pathetic life to get away from the pain. Of course, it’d be a real shame to do such a bloody thing during the holidays, but you know how this time of the year is tough on people.”

  Davonia glares at me, but her friends are ready to skedaddle. In their minds, I’m a trigger-happy biker princess with lousy taste in men and a trail of blood in my wake. Plus, I’ve got a bun in the oven, making me considerably wackier—and more immune to punishment—than usual.

  “Don’t leave,” I say when the sidekick hags force their queen to leave. “I wanted to discuss your possible future as a bitter widow with three rotten kids.”

  The door to the shop closes, and the rest of the customers pretend to busy themselves with their phones. I only smile since I have fifteen more minutes on my lunch break which will give me plenty of time to share the big news with my sisters.

  Back in school, Davonia’s little sister used to pick on Audrey, so my little sister is particularly amused to hear the outcome of my lunch break. Today, my tough girl persona went public, reminding the locals how the Johansson family didn’t make our money from rainbows and butterflies.

  Unfortunately, my initial excitement at putting a hag in her place doesn’t last. By the afternoon, I’m exhausted both physically and emotionally. As the boring Johansson, I’m invisible most days, but now I can’t get a moment’s peace without catching someone—from coworkers to customers—giving me the side-eye.

  “You’re the bee’s knees,” I tell myself in the mirror. “The worth of the entire universe comes down to only those you love. Forget the rest.”

  The pep talk gets me through the rest of the workday. I’m still on the prickly side when Colton arrives to escort me home.

  “Change of plans,” he says, and I immediately shake my head. “We’re picking out a Christmas tree. Trees, actually. One for Mom and one for your horror movie house.”

  “Why?”

  “Because even a horror movie house needs a Christmas tree,” my brother says while tugging a black cap over his head.

  “Why tonight?”

  “Mom thought Sissy’s kids would enjoy a Christmas tree. Did you know they never get one?”

  “Yeah,” I say and sigh. “Topher claims Christmas is stupid.”

  “He’s a white trash Grinch,” Colton says while I button my jacket. “You’re not going to fit in that much longer.”

  I smile at his comment even if I suspect he didn’t mean it as praise. “Are you excited to be a three-time uncle?”

  “No.”

  Colton opens the door for me, and we exit the pharmacy. The wind bites at my flesh, forcing me to wrap my head and face with a scarf until only my eyes remain uncovered. Less fazed by the cold, Colton explains we’re meeting Quaid at the tree place.

  “I’ll take one tree to your horror house, and he’ll take the other one to our normal people house.”

  “I don’t want you in my house,” I mutter, imagining him stinking up the place.

  “Quit your bitching. All your secrets are in the open now, and I’m super fucking aware you’re a pothead whore,” he says, and I slap his arm. Laughing now, he sighs. “I always assumed Audrey would be the hippie in the family.”

  With him following in one of the family’s trucks, I drive my SUV to the tree lot located next door to the Rogers’ farm. Raven and Vaughn wave from their screened side porch, but neither are willing to brave the cold long enough to join us.

  “MJ requested a squirrel-free tree,” Quaid says behind his half face mask. “I wasn’t aware that was a real concern.”

  Colton laughs nearby. “A few years ago, there was a squirrel in one, and the furry rat refused to leave the house quietly.”

  I shiver at the memory of Tucker sending our large dogs charging through the house after the squirrel. We lost several lamps and the flat screen TV in the madness.

  “Let’s make sure to shake out the trees before we take them into the houses,” I say and add, “Just in case.”

  Quaid nods, walking through the lines of trees until he gestures toward one.

  “Seems a good size, but I don’t know trees.”

  “As long as they’re animal-free and not barren, who cares?” Colton grumbles, shaking from the cold. “We’re going to wrap the trees in lights and tinsel. Not much tree will even be visible.”

  “They’ll be beautiful,” I whisper, fighting against tears. My heart hurts when I imagine how excited the kiddos will be. Sissy too since she’s like a kid in a million little ways. They’ve gone so long living under Topher’s boot. Now they’ll enjoy a taste of freedom. I bet even Dash’s inner kid will get a kick out of a Christmas tree.

  And he does!

  I notice a chink in his Cool Hand Luke armor when we decorate the tree at Mom and Pop’s house. Dash pretends as if he isn’t overly attached to his niece and nephew because, after all, they’re Mullens and Mullens suck. He always claims they’ll grow up to be as horrible as the rest of the family. Still, when they jump up and down at the sight of that tree entering the house, he can’t help cracking a smile.

  Sissy is a mess of emotions. She’s so happy to see her kiddos happy that she can’t stop crying. MJ makes sure to record everything since Sissy can’t see anything through her tears. Mom soon hugs Sissy, telling her that she’s a good mom and doing right by her babies. This kind of tender encouragement, of course, makes Sissy sob wildly.

  I jump on the c
rying bandwagon as soon as Pop picks up Hart to help the boy get ornaments on the top of the tree. With Audrey egging him on, Cap gets into the action by lifting Haydee so she can reach the top of the eight-footer. Challenged, Pop raises Hart higher. A competition ensues where the men fight to boost their respective kid to decorate the top the fastest. I’m laughing and crying like a simpering fool so badly that Dash gets worried and wraps me in his arms.

  Moments like these are what I’ve craved for years—enjoying my family with my love and best friend under one roof. All the moves I’ve made during the last week were the antithesis of smooth, but I can’t find fault with the end result.

  THE CHAPTER WHERE TIME PASSES, WOUNDS HEAL, AND BUMPS GROW

  THE LOSER

  Sissy falls stupid in love with the bunk beds Farah found for Haydee and Hart. I swear my sister is ready to sleep in them too. As kids, our mattresses sat on the floor, and we certainly didn’t have decorations in our room. Cy tried coloring the walls with crayons, but a beating made clear how Topher wasn’t a fan.

  Now Sissy smiles like a little kid while Hart and Haydee get comfy in their new room.

  “It’s beautiful,” she tells Lily. “You’re the bee’s knees.”

  Lily and Sissy end up crying because they’re emotional chicks and that’s what they do when they’re happy or sad. Sometimes, they tear up when angry too. I’m okay with their crying. It’s my job to keep my mouth shut and supply tissues.

  Haydee and Hart effortlessly ease into their new life. Their last weeks of school before Christmas break are festive, and they don’t complain once about going to bed or getting on a schedule.

  A week after I get shanked by our dumb-ass dad, Sissy and I return to work. He never comes around to raze us since he’s home nursing his bruised ego. Too bad a neutered Topher is a temporary enjoyment. His pain and embarrassment will fester until he’s recharged and ready to cause trouble again. Until then, I’m in charge of the family business without his meddling.