“You didn’t have anything to do with it,” Leanne said, shaking her head sorrowfully. “He was upset about his ride is all. And all I got is a few bruises. I’ve had worse horse wrecks.”
Then she shifted her eyes to Rainey, and suddenly great tears welled up and spilled over in silver streaks. “I wouldn’t let him hit me in the stomach, Rainey. I protected my baby.”
“Oh, honey…” She sank down and took Leanne in her arms. “You did real good, honey.” Then both of them went to bawling, while Harry and Pete Lucas looked on.
After a minute of all this, Harry brought more wet towels and began wiping both women.
The police came, but Leanne wouldn’t press charges, so they didn’t waste much time on any of it.
“He didn’t mean anything by it,” Leanne said. She had recovered her normal coolness. “Clay gets down sometimes, is all, and if I had kept quiet, he’d have been all right.”
“Has he done this before?” Rainey asked, alarmed.
“It isn’t somethin’ that goes on all the time, Rainey.” Leanne was examining her face in the mirror.
Rainey sent a questioning eye to Pete Lucas, who was sitting beside Harry on the little couch, both men leaning forward, forearms resting on their thighs. Pete returned a look that said Leanne wasn’t exactly telling the truth.
“There’s no excuse for anyone losin’ their temper like that, Leanne,” she said.
“No one is perfect, Rainey. Clay is goin’ through a rough time right now. His ex-wife won’t let him near his kids, and she’s taken just about everything from him. He’s doin’ the best he can. Tomorrow, when he’s calmed down and realizes what he did, he’ll be really sorry.”
While she spoke, Leanne studied the blue bruise beneath her eyes. Rainey was fairly certain Leanne’s right eye was going to be downright black.
“I think I’ll go take a shower,” Leanne said and laid down the mirror. She got up and went to the small bathroom. As she started to close the door, she paused and said, “Rainey, you’ll be here for a while, won’t you?”
Her face was pinched. She looked so small there in the door, spatters of blood on her shirt.
“Sure. I’m going to make some coffee.”
The minute she heard the water start in the shower, Rainey turned on Pete Lucas for the entire story.
“I understand you’re a friend of his. What kind of man is he? Does he do this sort of thing on a regular basis?”
He looked startled to be so questioned, and she watched him, trying to figure him out, how he could be friends with the type of man who would beat a woman.
He wet his lips and said, “He’s shook her up pretty good a bunch of times, but this is the first time he ever hit her like that.” Then he added, “That I know of, anyway. His ex-wife, she got a restraining order against him. That last split up they had, Clay tore up their house. I’ve known him a long time, and he’s always had a temper, but this past year he’s been gettin’ a little crazy.”
Harry was regarding her; he didn’t look surprised at all. It occurred to her that he must see a lot of this, being a physician.
Pete asked Harry, “She’s really okay, isn’t she? The baby…”
“As far as I can see, she and the baby are fine,” Harry told him. “She needs to take care, of course, but a healthy fetus is actually pretty tough to dislodge. He really didn’t beat her, just slapped her around.”
“He gave her a black eye,” Rainey said, surprised at Harry’s attitude.
“I’ve seen women who couldn’t be recognized.”
At that, she had to turn from him. She went to get cups from the cabinet, and a weakness, a great sorrow, washed over her. For an instant she was swept back in time to when her baby died inside her. Mama had said it was meant to be, and even the doctors had said they had suspected a problem with the baby’s heart. None of that had been a consolation to her.
She leaned against the cabinet, and then Harry was there, his arms enveloping her from behind and his warm lips pressing the cool bare skin of her shoulder.
She felt obligated to stay with Leanne through the night. She had the belief that if she stayed, Clay would not return. He was in all likelihood passed out in the room of another one of his friends—Pete and Leanne both assumed this was the case—but she still felt responsible for being with her cousin. Pete felt the need to stay, too, and as she was there, Harry and the puppy—which Leanne started calling Buddy—stayed, too.
In the early hours of the morning, Rainey’s and Leanne’s womanly talk about pregnancy and how it felt to have babies moving over the bladder and the breasts getting tender drove Harry and Pete Lucas outside. Both men had seemed a little cramped in the small camper anyway. Harry kept having to keep his tall frame ducked down, and Pete just seemed too thick, his shoulders bumping into something every time he turned around. With the puppy’s presence, it seemed each time one person moved, another had to move, too.
Harry went to get the truck from in front of the barn, and Pete went with him. The two of them sat in it, parked in front of Leanne’s trailer, rather like sentries on guard, slouched down in the seat, dozing, while the puppy, unable to understand human female conversation, lay happily on Rainey’s foot.
Peering out the window at the shadows in the truck, Rainey thought to go out and tell Harry to go on to the motel to sleep in his bed. But she didn’t want him to go. She liked knowing he was right within calling distance.
When she pointed out to Leanne that Pete had remained out there, too, Leanne nodded and said, “He’s really sweet.”
“It is obvious he is in love with you.”
Leanne shrugged, averting her eyes. “I guess.”
They were sitting across from each other at the little table, doing their fingernails. It was something to do in the early hours to keep their hands busy, and apparently Leanne was as particular about her nails as Rainey. She had a very extensive manicure kit, containing a dozen different nail colors.
“Why do you prefer Clay to a guy like Pete?” she asked.
Leanne looked at her and blinked. “Pete is nice, and I like him a lot, but it wouldn’t work between us. And I don’t appreciate you bad-mouthin’ Clay.”
“I’m not particularly bad-mouthing Clay, but I do wonder why you think it works with a man who beats you around, and say it wouldn’t work with a man who comes with his heart in his hand to see if you are okay.” Leanne’s continual defense of Clay provoked her.
“There’s a lot you just don’t know, Rainey.” Leanne shot her a frown, then focused on painting her fingernails. After long seconds, she said, “Pete is nice. Too nice. I’d drive him crazy in no time. And nice can get a little wearing, tryin’ to live up to it day after day.”
“I might rather try that than gettin’ beat up day after day.” Rainey wondered if Leanne meant that Pete was boring, or maybe that she didn’t feel nice enough to match him.
“That may be how you see it, Rainey, but that doesn’t make you right.” Then she said, “There’s just somethin’ about Clay. We are a lot alike, he and I. He takes me just like I am…and he needs me.”
Rainey understood such logic. Need spoke to a woman. Right then Rainey felt that even if she didn’t like Leanne very much—and she suspected Leanne knew that—she needed to help her somehow.
She said, “Women get burned up by men like Clay. Men like Pete keep a woman going.”
Leanne tilted her head. “Maybe…but Clay won’t let me go off with another man while I have his baby.”
“But he wants you to abort it?”
Leanne gave her a look that clearly said she would not understand. “He’s afraid of losin’ me. When his wife had their two kids, she didn’t pay him any attention anymore. And we do have our careers. A baby is a big consideration. Very soon I’m not goin’ to be able to ride.”
“Are you still thinkin’ about gettin’ an abortion?” She had thought that surely Leanne had changed her mind, considering her efforts against Clay.
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br /> “I don’t know,” Leanne said, a little vaguely. Then she threw down the tissue she had been using. “I just don’t know, okay?”
Rainey did not know what possessed her, either, but the next moment she was saying, “Leanne, I’ll take the baby.”
Immediately she thought of her little cottage, not much bigger than this camper. Precious little room for a crib. Maybe Daddy wouldn’t mind if she moved back home.
Leanne’s eyes came up, shocked at first, and then defensive. “I don’t know as I want to give up my baby, Rainey. And I’m just as capable as you to be a mother.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t. You are the one sayin’ you aren’t sure you want this baby, and I’m telling you I do want her.”
“We don’t know if it is a her.”
“Her or him, I don’t care. I’m offerin’ you an option, Leanne.”
She was a little surprised at herself. But she figured she had surprised herself before.
And then suddenly she thought of Harry. What would he say? Well, it probably wouldn’t work out with him, anyway, and the baby would be a comfort. Someone to love, to care for. Good for Daddy, too. She saw him holding the baby. Maybe caring for a baby would bring them closer, and he wouldn’t need That Mildred.
“It is a good solution, Leanne. You could still see her and everything.”
“Don’t go makin’ plans for me, Rainey. Don’t push me. I get enough of that from Clay and Mama. And if you want a baby so much, go have your own.”
Rainey could not think of anything to say to that, at least, not anything nice.
After a minute Leanne said, “If I have this baby, I’m goin’ to be unable to ride for months. There’s nothin’ good about that.
“And nothin’ good about havin’ to go to the toilet every ten minutes, either,” she added, getting up and going into the little bathroom.
Slowly Rainey replaced the cap on the bottle of polish. She had only put one coat on her nails, and they looked streaked, but she felt deflated and had no heart for pretty fingernails. In the face of Leanne’s predicament with Clay and the fate of a baby, painted nails seemed a little inane.
The night had turned out to be awfully confusing.
She moved the curtains and looked out to see the two shadows on either side of the truck cab. There was such a lonely aura about that.
Just then movement caught her eye. A man. He came out from between two horse trailers and stood looking their way. She couldn’t be certain if it was Clay, but she thought it was. She froze, hoping he couldn’t see her, but of course he could, there in the light.
A few moments, and he turned and went back into the shadows, leaving her thinking about him. No doubt Clay had a lot of internal demons. He certainly didn’t need another child. He was too big a child himself.
Somehow, when dark night lifts, so do human fears. It was as if, when dawn came, they were all safely assured that Clay was not going to return drunk and go wild some more. This was Rainey’s and Leanne’s reaction, although the guys had no doubt come to that conclusion long before.
Leanne, who had curled up in her bed in the gooseneck, fell into a deep sleep. Rainey got up from where she had been dozing with her head on the table, slipped into Harry’s sport jacket and nudged the puppy awake with her foot.
“Come on, Buddy.”
The puppy and she stepped out into the gray dawn of a crisp morning. There was no frost, but she could see her breath.
Pete Lucas’s head was against the passenger window of her truck. She walked around to the driver’s side, where Harry sat with his head back on the seat. Gently she opened the door.
“Everything all right?” he said, coming awake immediately, his eyes opening clear and focused, although he moved slowly.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I need to feed Lulu, and then we can go to the motel.” She felt herself sinking into exhaustion.
Harry reached over to shake Pete Lucas; he had to shake him robustly to get a reaction. At last Pete came semiawake.
“Do you want us to drive you somewhere?” Harry asked him.
Pete shook his head and pointed and mumbled that he would just go into Leanne’s. He stumbled inside her trailer, probably taking advantage of Clay’s absence to simply be with her and look upon her. Rainey thought that maybe he would be lucky and Clay would be gone forever, although she sincerely doubted this happening.
Harry got out, and she scooted into the seat. The puppy came bounding up beside her. Then Harry got behind the wheel again and drove over to her trailer to get the grain and hay for Lulu.
“I’ll take care of feeding her. You two stay here,” he said, leaving Rainey with the puppy’s head in her lap, the engine running and gradually heating the cab.
That she let him feed Lulu was testimony to her exhaustion. And to her trust in him, she supposed. She leaned back against the seat and watched him through the window. Bucket of grain in one hand, flake of alfalfa in the other, he disappeared into the barn.
He did not look at all like the man she had picked up along the side of the road all those days ago, the one who had worn loafers and slacks and a silk shirt. The one who had professed to be afraid of horses. Since she had not known him before, she could not be certain of her assessment, but he seemed changed from that man. He remained slender and handsome, and sarcastic, too, but he was no longer the lost man she had first found. There was a certainty about him now, a peace about him. Of course, he could have had that all along, and she might not have seen it, being preoccupied as she was with her own concerns.
She had met him in midchange, she thought. The change had begun before she met him, at the moment he had dared to face his father and follow his own desires.
Suddenly came the whisper of a thought, like a breath on her heart. Maybe the somewhere Rainey herself had been looking for was as simple as finding the courage to accept herself and go for what she really wanted.
She knew then, with that particular knowing the spirit has, that all of it, Robert and Monte, and all the mistakes she had ever made and all of the good choices, too—such as picking up Harry—were a part of her life and to be valued. Yes, even the mistakes were to be valued, because they were each valuable pieces of what made her.
Thinking of this, she drifted into sleep and roused only slightly when Harry slipped again into the seat. He put his arm around her and drew her close, and she snuggled gladly into his warmth. She felt the truck rumbling over the road.
The next thing she became aware of was Harry’s voice saying, “Rainey. We’re here.”
He shook her gently, and then he was helping her out of the truck. He had already opened the door to her room. They stopped there in the opening, and he handed her her purse.
“Get some sleep,” he said and kissed her quickly, before going on to his own door.
She went inside, closed the door and leaned against it, listening to his door close.
CHAPTER 24
Heart with a Past
The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was the bouquet of flowers Harry had brought her the day before.
The light-blocking drapes were parted, letting in a stream of ethereal sunlight that illuminated the flowers from behind, and she lay there looking at them, dragging up from sleep like she always did.
She thought that maybe waking would not be so difficult for her if she always had flowers to gaze at first thing upon opening her eyes.
She reflected that it had been just yesterday evening when Harry had showed up with the flowers. Not even twenty-four hours.
It seemed at least a week ago, because enough had happened in the hours since to fill a week. Her mind skimmed over all those events, going back to seeing Harry standing at the door with the bouquet.
This was the first gift of flowers she had received from a man since…since Monte had wrecked her Mustang and tried to apologize with a bouquet, flowers which she had suspected he might have swiped from the cemetery, as they had been definitely greenhouse cut
flowers clutched bare in his hand.
She recalled how Harry had looked when he handed her the bouquet, so pleased and hoping for her pleasure. She worried that she had not thanked him enough. She had been so surprised at the time. And afraid to let her feelings show when they really did come over her.
Various images of Harry, like snapshots, streamed across her mind and filled her with wonder. She saw a quiet man whose gentleness masked a steely strength. He was a man who continually turned his face fearlessly—or foolishly, as the case might be—to the wind. He did not laugh easily, but he was easily amused. And almost nothing shocked Harry, she supposed from all he had seen as a doctor. This was a very comforting quality.
This singular man, Harry, had said he thought he was falling in love with her.
She grabbed a pillow and clutched it to her chest, feeling all manner of desires and fears. They overwhelmed her to such a point that she rolled over to reach for the phone and call Charlene, moving so quickly that she startled the puppy, who looked up from where he lay on a pair of her jeans, ready to jump to his feet, should that be required.
Three rings, and Charlene’s answering machine picked up.
“If you get this in the next hour, call me at the motel,” Rainey said into the receiver.
She hung up, feeling sharply disappointed at not being allowed to discuss her thoughts with her sister. Sometimes thoughts not given voice tended to get jumbled up again. In fact, her thoughts already seemed to be crumbling. Where she had for a split second experienced clarity and a rising hope, she now had doubts trying to crowd in as fast as ponies crowding around the feed trough.
She took hold of the prospect that Charlene could return her call any minute. Flinging back the bedcovers, she went to shower, leaving the bathroom door open so she could hear the phone if it rang.
It occurred to her that she was at last becoming closer to Charlene, from a distance. She wondered if their newfound relationship would continue when she went home. Maybe whenever she wanted to talk over anything deep with Charlene, she would have to telephone her.
Lost Highways (A Valentine Novel) Page 22
