by Lee Piper
“You’ve got the wrong woman, Levi,” I murmured.
Since when did I have a husky voice?
“Really? Because I’m pretty sure it was you I was calling fucking beautiful. Do you see any other heinous bitches around?’
“No, I … It’s just—Look, I’m not Riley, okay?”
“Riley? What’s she got to do with it?”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
He stared at me, incomprehension written all over his flawless face.
Please, God. Don’t let him be stupid. I could never fall for someone who couldn’t tell the difference between his ass and his elbow. Fuck, what am I thinking? I could never fall for him period.
“Are you seriously telling me that you guys don’t like each other?”
“I don’t want Riley.”
“Maybe not, but she definitely wants you.”
He smiled at me like I was a student with severe auditory processing issues and I had to take a deep breath not to wipe it off his face. With a crowbar.
“Look, kitten, if there’s one thing I know, it’s how to read women. Trust me on this, I’ve had years of experience.”
I rolled my eyes.
He regarded me for a moment before continuing. “She’s not interested.”
It was now my turn to sport the latest rage in facial expressions. Complete incomprehension didn’t suit my skin tone but it sure as hell brought out the disbelief in my eyes. Not only was he acting like an arrogant jerk, but he was entirely wrong when it came to Riley’s interest in him. Surely, her thesis length recount of all his positive attributes last night was an obvious sign. I mean, the girl practically launched herself at him when he interrupted her rant too.
“Then why are you here?” I asked.
“I told you, to return Riley’s phone.”
“Bullshit.”
He cursed under his breath.
“Why are you here, Levi?”
“Fine. Because of you, Grace.”
“What?”
“Your body is fucking sensational and that smart mouth makes me want to do dirty things to it. Is that so hard to believe?”
I paused for a second, trying to take it all in. But then I exclaimed, “Hell yes, and saying all this shit just proves you’ve got horrible taste in women.”
“I’ve got excellent taste.”
His eyes were smiling but I continued on regardless. This was going to be like ripping off a Band-Aid—fucking painful but necessary.
“It doesn’t matter what you think, Levi.” Hear that? That was the sound of my stupid heart weeping pitifully into a Kleenex. What a pathetic organ. It would be wallowing in cookie dough and then complaining about the size of its hips soon enough.
“The fact is, Riley likes you and I’m her best friend, so I think I’d know. Plus, I would never do anything to hurt her.”
“She’s not interested, kitten.”
“Are you fucking blind as well as deaf?” I almost shouted at him. Levi’s obstinacy was really starting to piss me off. But instead of getting angry in return, an emotion I could easily deal with, he smiled. It was that slow, panty-sizzling, and quite frankly, infuriating one of his that I desperately wanted to both pummel and kiss, though not necessarily in that order.
“Look, the fact remains. Riley does like you,” I glared him into silence, “and I don’t.”
“Really?”
I tipped my chin up defiantly. “Really.”
“You haven’t once imagined me naked?”
I glared at him.
“It hasn’t crossed you mind how amazing my cock would feel inside you?”
“No.”
“Because I could pick you up by that sexy ass of yours and fuck you against the wall if you wanna find out?”
“Levi.”
“Bullshit.” He grinned wider, and then indicated downwards.
My eyes followed the direction of his gaze and to my utter horror, our fingers were still entwined. On closer inspection mine seemed to be frantically clinging to him, almost like his hand was my life raft and this conversation was the fucking Titanic.
I groaned.
“Levi, hey. I thought I heard voices.”
I quickly tore my hand away as Riley strolled into the kitchen, wrapping a pale silk robe around her lithe waist. Her blonde hair was disheveled and her face devoid of any makeup, but the genuine smile that lit up her eyes made her instantly gorgeous.
Riley continued, “In fact, I could have sworn I heard raised voices.” She looked pointedly in my direction and I feigned innocence in return. “So I figured that G had a visitor who needed rescuing.”
“Hey, Riley. Thanks but Grace here is nothing I can’t handle.” As he said this, Levi even had the audacity to turn and wink at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.
Riley quickly glanced from Levi’s humorous expression to my thunderous one and smiled. “Glad to hear it. Now, who wants a smoothie?”
“Christ.” I dropped my head into my arms on the countertop. Riley was what some might call a health and fitness enthusiast but I thought the term freak was much more apt. She was forever making bizarre food and beverage concoctions, jam packed full of ingredients with names I’d never even heard of. I mean, what the hell was Slippery Elm powder anyway? Apparently, it was an absolute dream for the digestion, but slippery anything couldn’t be trusted as far as I was concerned.
Levi laughed at my morose reaction while Riley simply ignored me. She was well aware of my thoughts on the subject.
“Levi, can I tempt you?” Riley asked.
I peeked my head up at those words and raised a mocking eyebrow at the man in question. “Yeah, Levi, are you tempted?”
Levi looked at me for a second but I couldn’t read his expression. He then turned to Riley. “Nah, thanks anyway. Grace was gonna make me a coffee.” He stared at me again. “That’s what I want.”
“Coffee? But it’s boiling in here. And that stuff is seriously dehydrating.” Riley leaned across the countertop, her blue eyes coy and her smile beguiling. “C’mon, Levi, let me make you something. It’ll be delicious, I promise. Won’t it, G?”
But I was beyond listening. Riley’s last action spoke volumes of her interest in the man and I was in the process of trying to negotiate my suicidal heart into not jumping off a rooftop. Glancing to my bereft fingers which only moments ago had been interwoven with Levi’s, they somehow looked pitiful on their own now.
God, this was an absolute joke. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. Riley’s happiness was much more important than my own desolate body parts. If I wasn’t careful, I’d make my feelings known to all and sundry which would essentially ruin everything.
So I put on the bravest face I had and said, “You know what guys? I’m not really that thirsty after all. In fact, I’m more tired than anything, so might just head on back to bed. Riley, you make Levi a smoothie, he won’t regret it. And Levi…” My gaze shifted to his fathomless eyes. If I didn’t stay strong now I’d lose myself in them right in front of my best friend. “See you around.”
I gave him the ghost of a smile as my heart plummeted down multiple stories to meet its grizzly death. Then I turned and slowly headed back to my bedroom where I could bawl my eyes out in peace.
Upon reentering my room, I immediately flopped face-first down onto my bed and prepared for the torrent of tears to come. Only they didn’t. So instead, I rolled over and stared up at the off-white ceiling plaster, which was in the process of slowly decaying before my very eyes.
I could still hear the faint murmur of voices coming from the kitchen—one was soft and melodic while the other was deep and somehow resonated directly with my groin. Ignoring this insatiable and quite frankly freakin’ annoying need within me, I instead decided to look at my current situation in an objective manner. Teacher Grace would be so proud.
So. Here I was again.
To be honest, I didn’t know which was worse. Waking up to a text message from Dylan, kindly st
ating that he was leaving for a shot at a relationship with Satan’s asshole or voluntarily foregoing the man I desperately wanted and instead handing him right on over to Riley. Either way, I was pretty sure my heart was beyond repair after all that stampeding.
I groaned.
This was completely fucked.
But then I sat up, cross-legged on my bed. Right, I can either sit here and host a one-woman pity party or I can do something productive with my self-enforced banishment. Option one sucked, hardcore, so option two it was. I had a shitload of papers to correct anyway.
I hopped off my bed and rummaged around under it for my laptop and headphones. Once successful, I jumped back into place, leaning back against the dark timber headboard with my laptop resting in front of me. I needed to get some essay drafts edited and back to my Year Tens by Monday and online submissions made life a heck of a lot easier. So with the sound of heavy guitar riffs blaring in my ears, which conveniently muffled out any external voices and consequently put a halt to any subsequent physical urges, I made a start on them.
After what felt like a couple of minutes I looked up to see Riley’s head poking through my partially open bedroom door and immediately took out my headphones.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” I gave her a small smile. “What’s up?”
“Am I interrupting?”
“Has that ever stopped you before?”
She grinned and opened the door wider before walking into my room and plopping herself down on the corner of my bed.
I shut my laptop but not before noticing that I had been drafting for over two hours. I wasn’t sure whether to be pleased with my successful distraction method or embarrassed by the fact that I actually enjoyed reading the essays. The kids had done an awesome job and it only took the very real threat of them never experiencing a lunchtime outside of detention again, to do it.
Riley’s fingers played with the frayed corner of my dark blue bedcover, pulling at the loose threads of the worn fabric. “You really need a decent coverlet, this one is beyond disgusting.”
“It’s all right.” I shrugged my shoulders dispassionately. Shopping wasn’t exactly my favorite pastime.
“It’s really not.”
I sighed. “As much as I love discussing the intricacies of bedding with you Riley, is there a point to this conversation?”
“You’re right.” She turned and faced me squarely, her eyes staring into mine.
I gulped, this wasn’t going to be pretty.
“What have you got against Levi, G?”
“What?”
“Levi. Why don’t you like him?”
I desperately tried to remain nonchalant. Though the cogs in my brain were whirling at the speed of light, trying to figure out where this was all heading. They were also frantically trying to camouflage the intense heat about to flush my cheeks at any given moment. It seemed to be an unfortunate side effect of the medical condition that was anyone mentioning the name Levi in my presence.
God, I really didn’t want to talk about him with Riley. After all, she knew me better than anyone and would instantly pick up on my true feelings for the brash Adonis if I wasn’t careful.
So I resorted back to meditation and took a deep breath before saying, “I’ve got nothing against him.”
“Well, it’s just that you were heaps rude to him last night at The Hole and this morning I’m pretty sure I could hear you yelling at him. Not to mention the fact that you completely bailed on him in the kitchen earlier. I mean, the guy wanted a cup of coffee and you didn’t even make him one.”
I looked down at my laptop, wishing that it would miraculously come up with a method of teleporting me the hell out of there so I didn’t have to listen to all of my terrible social failings. I truly hated the person I had become in the last few years. It was like Dylan sucked all of the life out of me and left only the dregs behind. What happened to the woman who was able to hold open conversations with very attractive men? The one who rarely, if ever, verbally abused them multiple times within a twenty-four hour period?
I let out a long sigh.
“I know he might come off as a bit … self-assured.”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“But he’s a great guy, G.” Riley’s eyes were sincere and I felt even worse for it. “Can you please make an effort to be nicer to him? For me?”
This was going to tear me in two. How was I going to sit back and watch Riley grow close to the man I was harboring feelings for? I mean, granted they were under a ton of spite and aggression but were still there nonetheless. And how the hell was I going to do this with a fake smile plastered all over my face? Pretending I wasn’t slowly disintegrating from within was surely going to kill me.
I looked up in time to see a slither of paint flake away from the ceiling and slowly float down to the faded beige carpet in the corner of my room.
“Sure, Riley,” I murmured, mesmerized by the symbolism behind an otherwise mundane event. “I’ll make an effort if it means that much to you.”
Riley’s smile was wide as she launched herself at me, enveloping me in a bear hug of mammoth proportions. “Thanks, G,” she squealed, as I oomphed in return. “You’re the best.”
Odd, I thought to myself. Despite being smothered by the affections of my best friend, right now I just feel like a hypocrite instead.
Chapter Four
I don’t know what you’re meaning,
Can’t deal, you and me every day.
Don’t want this healing,
Cast off, dragging my heart away.
-MONDEZ, “Leaving”
When I raced into my office on Monday morning, a whirl of disorganization and flapping limbs, Carli was already seated. Hell, she even looked as calm and self-possessed as the Dalai Lama himself. You see, our desks were pushed against two of the four walls and Carli’s was always immaculately ordered, even down to color-coded Post-it notes and correlating paper clips. I honestly didn’t know how she did it. She was a freak of nature.
Mine on the other hand, looked like a teacher had wheeled in a cannon, stuffed it to the brim with random stationery and paper paraphernalia and then fired it in the general direction of my workspace.
It was a mountain of chaos.
Carli looked up and smiled. The highlights in her auburn curls looked glossy with the movement even under the artificial light. I had no idea how she got it that shiny, and if I ever decided to give a shit about my own tangled mess, I really should remember to ask her.
Shaking my head, I searched the confined space, frantically trying to find somewhere to put my laptop bag, subject folder, diary and pencil case. Cluttered bookshelves lined the two remaining walls, overflowing with textbooks and dusty resource folders from the last decade. Lame posters took up space on the walls with images of people on bikes reaching the top of a mountain and the word, Success written underneath, and the god-awful cat hanging by its claws and the phrase, Hang in There stamped across it. Previous teachers must have put them up. Probably in a deluded bid to distract themselves from the fact that there were no windows and the only light source was a moody iridescent globe that occasionally chose not to work.
I swear it had PMS.
Or was just some sort of electrified bitch.
I gave up trying to find an empty space on my desk. After all, there was something to be said for swiping a heap of crap onto the floor in one fluid arm motion. It was strangely satisfying. Once done, I dumped my laptop and other materials on top, and then began the arduous task of locating my Year Nine’s English folder.
Again.
I sighed. It’d be so much easier if all my stuff had GPS tracking devices installed on them. Luckily, I had the first lesson period free so wasn’t yet in full-blown panic mode.
“You’re looking even more frazzled than normal for a Monday morning, Grace. Everything okay?”
What could I say? That I was currently in the process of falling for the guy who my best friend f
ancied? That despite having yelled abuse at him, dousing him in fluids, groping him senseless and standing in front of him partially naked before refusing to make him a coffee, he still thought that I was sweet and beautiful? It was simply too ludicrous for words.
So instead I mumbled something entirely incomprehensible and hoped it passed off as being, “Yep, I’m fine.”
“Don’t tell me Riley talked you into a caffeine-free diet again. You know that experience didn’t end well last time and I’m pretty sure Lucas’s balls will never be the same again.”
I grimaced at the memory. Releasing a week’s worth of pent-up caffeine-free aggression on the now ex-history teacher who deemed it appropriate to grope me at the staff dinner six months ago wasn’t one of my finest moments.
“I’m okay, it’s just been a strange weekend.”
“Yeah?” Carli turned and looked quizzically up at me from her office chair. That girl looked hot. She seriously rocked fitted sports pants. I stopped, looked down and then realized I was completely lost in a sea of stationery.
It was lucky she could find me at all.
I shook my head again, I really needed to focus. After all, I had a heap of work to do today. There was new content I needed to deliver to the students and exams to prepare them for. I was even going to encourage our current English coordinator to actually do her damn job for once and allocate sufficient funding to cover our textbooks for next year. Hell, while I was at it, I might even prove to everyone that I could do a much better job of it than her.
After taking a deep breath, I crouched down and began piling random pieces of paper into towering mounds at my feet. Well, that’s what people who had their shit together did, right? They organized their surroundings and this had a knock-on effect to their headspace and therefore their life in general. They so didn’t spend the entire weekend fantasizing about the touch of a musician’s fingers against their skin or replaying certain panty-scorching conversations over and over again in their heads until they knew the words by heart. Right?
