She didn’t hear it that way. Instead, she smiled and nodded. “Exactly. That’s what I think. A good governess or two and a nurse can take care of the children. Of course, I’ll still have to compromise in bearing them.”
“You can have that compromise without me. I want to be a father, and when I have children, I want them to be with me.”
“You are so difficult.” Jessica’s words echoed a bit from the interior of the springhouse. She pointed to the large tub of lard. “Take it and go. I hardly think we need to belabor this subject further. You’ll understand my point of view in time.”
“I don’t think time will help me one bit.” He hoisted up the lard. “I think you should probably just look to workin’ over some other fella. There’s bound to be one out there who wants to wear a fancy top hat and cavort with you all over the world—without children. But it ain’t me.”
She turned and beamed him a smile that he completely did not expect. “Oh, Robert. You do say the funniest things. You know I couldn’t be untrue to you.”
Robert stopped and put the tub down momentarily. “Jessica, I’m serious. I don’t want to lead you on. I’m not the man you want me to be.”
She put her hand on his arm once again and leaned close. “But you could be . . . if you wanted to be.”
He shook his head. “But that’s just it. I don’t want to change. We’ve been good friends since we were little. You followed me around like some kind of lost puppy. I thought you were a sweet little girl, like my sisters. But I wouldn’t marry my sister.”
Jessica frowned. “So you don’t care for me?”
“You know that’s not true. I do care for you. That’s why I’m not sure—”
She put her finger to his lips. “I’m sorry, Robert. I was too pushy and too insensitive to your feelings. Forgive me.” She stepped back and pulled her shawl close. “Now, we’d better get back before our mothers believe us to be up to no good.”
Robert felt the muscles in his face tighten. He wanted to say something more. He wanted to tell Jessica that they needed to just forget about marrying and let everyone know they weren’t suited to a life together. So why couldn’t he seem to get the words out?
He lifted the tub again and followed after her, trying to figure out how he could make Jessica understand without crushing her spirit and causing problems between the families. He didn’t want to hurt or disappoint anyone.
Back at the buggy Robert could see that his mother had already settled in for the ride home. He put the tub at the back and strapped it down.
“You be careful now,” Mrs. Atherton said. “Looks like we could get a good rain out of those clouds to the west.”
Robert gave the sky a glance. “I’m sure we’ll be home before then.” He tipped his hat at Mrs. Atherton and Jessica before releasing the brake.
They were well down the road for home before Robert’s mother questioned him. “What’s wrong? Did you and Jessica have a spat?”
He gave his mother a side glance. “Why did you marry Pa?”
She laughed. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that question, but the answer is simple. I was crazy with love for him. I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.”
Shaking his head, Robert sighed. “I don’t feel that way about Jess, and I don’t think I ever will.”
“What do you mean? I know you care about her. You’ve been her hero since she was a little girl.”
“Maybe so, but Ma, I don’t love her like that. It’s really startin’ to bother me, too. Everyone figures we’ll marry. Everyone calls us engaged, and God knows I’ve never done anything to change their minds.”
“Of course not. Why should you? Goodness, Robert, I think sometimes young folks expect some sort of freight train to run them over when they fall in love. But sometimes love just comes along in a quiet and gentle fashion. Sometimes love is born from a lifetime of knowin’ each other, and other times from just a few hours. Pray about it, son. You might just be feelin’ the pressures of the season. We’ve got a lot of work to do, and I know you’ve had a lot on your mind. Don’t make rash decisions.”
Robert blew out an exasperated breath. I doubt anyone’s gonna let me make any of my own decisions—rash or otherwise.
Marty checked her reflection in the small mirror one more time before deciding there was no way to improve her tired-looking face. She felt exhausted from the long hours on the train. She frankly didn’t care to ever set foot on another—at least not for a very long time.
Her stomach growled in hunger, reminding her that it had been over twelve hours since they’d eaten anything. All the food they’d brought with them was gone, and with no money to spare, buying more was out of the question. Jake and the others would probably be there to greet them. Perhaps they would bring sandwiches. Marty certainly hoped so.
“Are you eager to see everyone again?” Alice asked. “I have to say I’m excited to be a part of this adventure.”
Marty smiled. “I have to admit I am looking forward to seeing my husband and my family. I’m nervous, too. I want very much for everything to be good. There’s no telling how things have gone for Jake since he wrote. He might not get along with my family. They may have even had a falling-out by now.”
“Oh, that’s silly.” Alice shook her head. “I don’t think that would ever happen. Jake is a good-natured man. And from what you’ve told me about your family, well, I think we will all get along just fine. It was so kind of them to include bringing me here.”
“My sister is especially fond of helping those in need. She’s a good Christian woman. I sometimes wish I could be more like her. I’m afraid I don’t have her sensitivity to the needs of people around me. I figure it’s because I’m far too self-centered.” Marty sighed. “I’ve tried to be a good person. I really have.”
“You have a good heart,” Alice said, taking hold of Marty’s gloved hand. “You need to stop fretting. No one is perfect, nor will they ever be. The only good thing about us is Jesus. Don’t you think He will forgive you for whatever flaws you have?”
“Of course,” Marty agreed. “But I know He also wants us to become more like Him. I want that, too, but sometimes I fail so miserably. I can’t help but worry about things that seem important to me and don’t know how to stop being like that. You’d think for a woman who just turned thirty-six, I would be making some progress.”
Alice chuckled and patted Marty’s hand. Just then the conductor swung through the car. “We’ll be in the station in less than five minutes. Remember, this is just a brief stop, so be ready to disembark. We have a schedule to keep.”
The women nodded and Marty could feel the train begin to slow. The grinding sound of metal on metal, coupled with the blasts of the train’s whistle, permeated her ears. Her heart began to beat faster. Jake would be there waiting for her. If the rest of the world forgot all about her or was otherwise occupied, Marty knew without a doubt that Jake would still be there. The thought made her smile, and she lovingly put her hand to her waist.
I know he’ll be happy about you, too. She bit her lower lip. But we’ll wait just a little longer before we tell him the news. Just in case . . . just on the chance that . . . that you can’t stay.
The train came to a halt and Marty noticed the depot sign. Cedar Springs. Back where I started. Back in Texas, where I’d hoped never to return. She grimaced and got to her feet as Alice moved to collect their smaller bags. Her back ached from the long hours of travel. She prayed that was all it was. She’d had a backache the last time she’d lost a baby. She frowned. What if . . .
Marty knew she had to get her heart and mind under control. They seemed to be warring with each other at the moment, and that would never do. She needed to put aside her fears and be strong.
I’m being fretful and silly. I’m just sore from travel, and I needn’t create a problem where there isn’t one. I’m going to be happy. I want to see Jake, and that’s the most important reason for being here.
Jake wou
ld know how hard this was on her. Of that Marty had no doubt. But he wouldn’t know the full reason for her fears.
“Careful now, ma’am,” the porter said as he helped Marty down the train steps.
She glanced for some sign of her family. No one seemed to be around. The entire platform was nearly deserted.
Alice looked toward the baggage car. “I’ll see to our things.” She smiled at the baggage man, who stood not far from his cart. “Would you assist me, please?”
“Yes’m,” the man said, giving her a brief nod. “Pleasure be mine.”
Marty tried not to fret at the absence of her family. She knew that any number of things could have happened to delay their arrival. Her stomach growled again.
“Well, whether they get here or not, I’m going to have something to eat.”
“Talking to yourself, Mrs. Wythe?”
She turned to find Jake standing only a few feet behind her. Without giving any thought to the public display, Marty threw herself into his arms. “I’m so sorry,” she said, breaking into tears. “I’m so sorry for the way I acted. I’ve missed you so much.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “There now, don’t cry, Marty. You’re here and that’s all that matters.” He lifted her chin and kissed her tenderly. “I missed you, too.”
“I know I’m making a spectacle of myself,” she said, meeting his gaze, “but I don’t care. I don’t like the idea of living in Texas, but I hate the idea of living without you even more. I don’t want to ever be apart again.”
He grinned. “Me either.” He hugged her close and Marty felt her fears give way. Surely God would keep Jake safe. Surely He wouldn’t demand another husband from her—or another child.
Robert had heard a great deal about Alice Chesterfield. He knew about the attack that had taken the life of her father and left her scarred. Jake had told them about the situation and of the man who tormented Alice for property she no longer had in her possession. But now sitting across the table from the blond-haired woman, Robert felt completely captivated by her.
Alice smiled and answered all the questions his mother had for her. She seemed as patient and relaxed as if they’d all been old friends reunited after a brief separation.
“And is the room to your liking?” Mother asked.
“Oh, it’s beautiful and so big. You really didn’t need to give me such a large room,” Alice answered.
Robert’s mother smiled and passed a plate of corn bread in Alice’s direction. “Nonsense. It was one of our daughters’ rooms, and it wants for someone to enjoy it. This house seems so empty sometimes. I’d love to fill it with people again.”
“Well, we’re off to a good start with Jake and Marty and Alice,” Robert’s father interjected. “Marty, I can’t tell you how good it is to see you again. And you look quite fit. Colorado must have agreed with you.”
“It did,” Marty said. “It’s very beautiful there, and the air is dry and fresh.”
“And it snows . . . a lot,” Jake added.
“That’s true,” Marty agreed. “I have to admit I’m no lover of the cold.”
“I’m so amazed at how things are already greening up down here,” Alice commented. “February in Denver is never anything but cold, snow, and ice.”
“Well, we’ve had a mild winter—drier than most, but before you came we had a couple of rains. It did wonders for the land,” Pa told her. “But you wait. In another few weeks we’ll be full of blossoms and greenery.”
“And we’ll be very busy planting gardens,” Robert’s mother announced. “I’m so glad you’ll both be here to help.”
Alice nodded. “I don’t know much about gardening, but I’m happy to learn.”
“Then we’ll have you ridin’ and ropin’ before you know it,” Pa said with a smile.
“I think I’d like that, too,” Alice replied, giggling.
Her amusement only served to make Robert all the more fond of her. She was lighthearted, yet there was something very serious about her spirit.
“Don’t do it,” Marty whispered in his ear.
Robert startled and looked to his aunt for an explanation. She smiled in her knowing way. At the other end of the table the family was already busy chatting about teaching Alice to brand calves, so Robert leaned close to ask. “Do what?”
“Don’t make her your new project. She might bear life’s wounds, but she’s not one of your injured animals, and I don’t want to see her hurt.”
“Aunt Marty, I have no idea of hurting anyone,” Robert replied quietly and leaned back in his chair with a smile. “You should know me better than that.”
“I do know you,” Marty whispered. “And I recognize that smile on your face. You think you’ve got me fooled, but I can see in your eyes that you’re already making plans.”
Robert said nothing but turned his attention back on the meal. He was making plans, but Aunt Marty didn’t need to know anything about them.
Chapter 13
“I usually plant corn over here,” Hannah told Alice as she and Marty followed her from one plot of ground to another. “I’ve had some of the orphan boys you sent us last year work on turning up the dirt for me and getting it ready for planting.”
“I can’t wait to see them again,” Marty said, glancing around. “Where are they?”
“Out on the range. We only have two of them with us now. The rest have found homes elsewhere. Hiram and Nate are working with the cattle. They ride like they were born to it and have taken to their duties with ease. They remind me of Andy when he was first learning to rope and ride.”
“I’m so glad,” Marty replied. She barely remembered the older boys. Her mind however went to thoughts of Wyatt, Sam, and Benjamin. “Those children are so precious. They deserve much more than what they’ve been given.”
“We very much enjoyed working with the orphans in Denver,” Alice added. “And the children were quite fond of Marty.”
“They just loved me for my cookies,” Marty said and laughed. She pulled at the cuff of her sleeve. “I think they’d be glad for anyone who would give them some attention. After all, they’re hardly more than babies. They are frightened and so alone. The folks who should be in their lives are either dead or gone. I just wanted to show love to each of them.”
“It must have been hard to leave,” Hannah said, looking at her sister with great compassion. “I know how attached a person can get to children. Had anyone tried to take you or Andy from my care, I would have protested loudly.”
“As I recall, there was that horrible Mr. Lockhart who wanted to send me and Andy to the far reaches so he could have you to himself.”
Hannah shuddered. “I try to forget about that man.” She turned to Alice. “You aren’t the only one to have tragedy and evil men in your past. Mr. Lockhart was the one responsible for killing our father. He caused this family a great deal of harm.”
“That’s terrible,” Alice said. “I hate to hear that anyone else should have to endure the things I’ve gone through.” The look on her face betrayed her fears.
Hannah reached out and touched the younger woman’s shoulder. “You are among friends here, and those people can’t hurt you anymore. We’ll see to that.”
Alice looked into Hannah’s eyes, and Marty could see that she very much wanted to believe those words. “I feel as if I’m on the run and always will be.”
Hannah hugged her close and then stepped back. “You can let that thought go. You are home now. At least for as long as you want to call it home.”
Home. Marty looked around her. There wasn’t an inch of this place that she didn’t know like the back of her hand. She’d had a wonderful childhood on this ranch. Oh, it hadn’t been without its problems and lean years, but they’d had one another, and that had made it all bearable.
Can I learn to be happy here? Can I call this home and know in my heart the kind of contentment that should come from such a place?
She thought of the ranch
she’d shared with Thomas. She’d loved her little house. Maybe it would be wise to talk to Will about taking the ranch back. He’d bought it from her—well, he’d agreed to. The paper work hadn’t been finalized, though he had sent her a down payment on the purchase. Perhaps she could work something out with him. She knew that Jake would find the spread she and Thomas had worked ideal—just as Thomas had.
“I don’t think you’ve heard a word we said.”
Marty looked up to find Hannah and Alice watching her. “I’m sorry. I was off in my own thoughts.”
Hannah smiled. “I’m sure it’s a challenge to be back and take it all in at once. Jake seems like a very good man. I’ve enjoyed getting to know him. I was just telling Alice that although you have your own place, I selfishly would like you to stick around for a while.”
Marty was surprised by this turn of events. “Stay here? With you and Will?”
“Yes. What’s so strange about that?”
“Nothing, Hannah. I suppose I hadn’t really thought about it.”
“You should. It’s been over a year since anyone lived at your place. It’s gonna need some attention before anyone lives there again.”
Alice gave her a knowing look. “Maybe it would be a good idea, considering.”
Marty realized what Alice was getting at. She supposed she should come clean and admit her condition to Hannah. After all, her sister had borne three children and had also acted as midwife for a great many women.
“Considering what?” Hannah asked. She looked from Alice to Marty. “What should be considered?”
“I’m going to have a baby,” Marty replied, watching for her sister’s reaction.
Hannah’s face lit up and her smile stretched from ear to ear. She rushed to take hold of Marty and all but gave a yell of approval. “That’s wonderful news! When?”
“Shh,” Marty said with her finger to her lips. “Jake doesn’t know yet.”
“What? But why not?”
Marty shrugged. “I haven’t had a chance to tell him. I was too tired last night. Right after supper I fell asleep. I don’t even remember getting into bed. I think I fell asleep in the wing-backed chair by our fireplace. Jake must have carried me to bed. When I finally woke up this morning, he was already gone.”
Moment in Time, A (Lone Star Brides Book #2) Page 12
