by LoRee Peery
Ted gasped and stumbled. Probably been holding his breath since the first time Sage said the name Katherine.
Sage caught his uncle by the arm. “Yes. Your Katherine. Lezlie’s probably already called home about finding you. If I know those women, they’re planning a romantic reunion between you and Katherine Rawlins.”
Uncle Ted shook his head repeatedly. He appeared too overcome to speak. Close to the rear of the condo now, Sage saw moisture pooling in his uncle’s eyes.
Finally, Sage said, “And I have the letter you wrote Grandma from Alaska.”
He couldn’t say what he had expected, but a monotone question from his uncle with no apparent emotion, wasn’t it.
“Didja tell anybody?”
“Only Lanae. Right before we came down here.”
“Well now, I’d say it’s about time I started living in the days I have left, and make a one-way trip to Nebraska. Way past time I face the music. Take lawful responsibility for my impassioned crime.”
Sage felt like he’d taken a left to the jaw. His uncle wasn’t the only one to live in the past. Sage had been sidetracked, locked in his head with Becca.
If a seventy-year-old man with murder in his background could take a chance on the future, so could he.
“If you can change the pattern of your life, dear uncle, I can, too. Something’s been wrong in the realm of my thinking. For too long I’ve listened to a mocking negative voice instead of the still small voice of the Holy Spirit nudging me to get on with my life.”
****
For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.—Philippians 4:11
Lanae lingered at the acreage. Sage would soon be home. She’d miss feeding the horses and walking through the rooms of his home. Coming to the acreage had been such a blessing. She’d left both letters she’d written to Sage with his mail. She couldn’t say exactly when it hit, but she had come to realize she could be content wherever God chose for her to be at any given moment.
With or without Sage and his home in the country, she’d given it her best shot.
Lanae felt giddy. Her heart soared within her and took flight on the imaginary score of a Hollywood musical. She knew the giddy emotion would pass. Love was played out over the years in actions that spoke so much louder than words or hormones.
As deep as her love for Sage, she knew where she stood at this particular stage of her life.
“I don’t have to miss the country. I can find a country connection within a few miles of Platteville. Surely there’s a horse or two I can visit near me there,” she announced to Snorty at feeding time.
She’d talked to the Lord often. She prayed for Sage and his family’s safe return. And above all, Lanae prayed that Sage would learn to be content and count his blessings, whether he stayed on the acreage or actually moved to a place similar to where he’d been vacationing in Florida.
****
On their last morning in Florida, Sage walked the shore, singing the same songs his uncle had reintroduced to him. He studied the horizon, wishing the expanse of the sea could lift the weight of unvoiced emotion. Who would have thought a man’s head could hold such heavy, unspoken thoughts?
He owed Lezlie.
He owed Jaxson.
He owed Lanae.
Sage sang praises to the Lord from the depths of his soul.
He couldn’t owe God for his inattention over the years, but he could let God meet him today, finally accept the gift of God’s sovereignty. Sage could no longer question. God is God. Period. He gives and He takes away. Amen.
But he did owe his Uncle Ted, to help make things right in both their lives.
Sage wanted to introduce Lanae to his uncle’s guitar and hear her join them in praise singing.
He hadn’t told Lanae he’d canceled the realtor appointments. He wanted to see her face, her open joy, when he told her he wasn’t about to move.
Nebraska was his home.
His family would return to Nebraska.
He vowed to use every resource he could to uncover what the law needed, to set the record straight as far as his grandfather’s death was concerned.
Eric and Rainn, tight in the community as respected firefighters, might be tight with the sheriff’s department as well.
Could he be charged with being an accessory after the fact for withholding the letter as evidence? He’d deal with whatever he had to face, going through it with God.
“Surely, You meet us where we are, Lord. Seems to me You’ve waited a long time for me to return to You. But time is as meaningless to you as a footprint of sand underneath my feet here on the beach. Well, I’m ready for a new beginning.”
Sage scanned the horizon once again. He couldn’t find descriptive names for all the colors of blue he saw. “Psalm 95 says the sea is Yours, You made it. What a mighty God you are.”
Sea sounds, sand, ocean smells, and shore air equaled a tranquil surrounding. It was a place for a soul to find peace. He packed it all away. The memory would bring him right back here where he laid his soul out before the Lord.
Sage bent to pick up a broken seashell. He drew a heart in the sand. Then he wrote “I love Lanae.” He lost his balance, laughed to find himself on his seat instead of his haunches.
It’s true. Somehow his subconscious heart had known the extent of his emotions before his conscious mind had.
“You are indeed an awesome God. Please forgive me for my anger. Thank You beyond measure for Lezlie and her search for Uncle Ted. Thank You for our reunion. Now, I ask that You give me the right words to pass on to Lanae. Thank You for bringing Lanae into our lives, and give me the ability to show her enough love to last the rest of our lives.” He ended his time with His Lord on the beach in song, this time, the Lord’s Prayer, remembering Lanae’s rich alto voice.
He had to tell Lanae. Now. He trotted back to the beach condo. But instead of picking up the phone, he drew a pen from his pocket. And Sage poured out his heart.
December 28
My dear lovely, lively, Lanae,
We’re still here on vacation on the beach. But there’s only one place in the world I want to be, and that’s next to you.
Thank you for putting up with my stubborn will. I wanted to continue through life as an observer, but I doubt that’s God’s plan for me. You helped me find myself again, to choose once more to let God direct my thoughts and my actions, to allow Him to be the steering wheel of my life.
Thank you for allowing yourself to feel Katherine’s pain and her passion.
Thank you for your relentless curiosity and determination to discover Uncle Ted’s identity, which helped me discover my own.
Thank you for showing me I needed to face my heritage and live today in order to face tomorrow instead of being lost in the past. By bringing the past into the present and then leaving it again, I have more to give my daughter and grandson.
And I should have more honesty to give you all.
Thank you for your affinity toward treasured practices of the past. One of my vows to you is that as long as I am of sound mind, I promise to write you a love letter on the anniversary of our marriage. (If you’ll have me.)
Since we met in late fall, I’m wondering if you bare your toes in warm weather. I’d like to polish your toes, enjoy a new experience, as a little something for the two of us to look forward to doing together.
I’ll love you as long as I draw breath.
You and our Lord are the choices I make for going through the rest of my tomorrows.
When I return, I’m bringing a grand surprise.
Sage
P.S. Cause I love you a bushel and a peck. You bet your pretty neck, I do.
****
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”— Jeremiah 29:11
Sage meditated on the Bible verse one last time before closing the Bible, courtesy of a worldwide ministry that placed the Goo
d Book in rented rooms, and turned to zip his carry-on.
“Sorry, Dad.” Lezlie giggled when Sage jumped and lost his grip.
“About what?”
“Well, I didn’t mean to snoop, but I saw the packet of letters in your carry-on after we got here. You didn’t zip it up and it was right there in the closet. Anyway, since the letters really belong to Uncle Ted, I put them in a scrapbook with plastic sleeves for him to look at during the flight. Or whenever he’s ready. He’ll probably want privacy.”
“It’s a beautiful gift,” Sage said, nodding at the book in Lezlie’s folded arms. “And so thoughtful. I’m proud of you.”
Lezlie shrugged off the compliment. “Thought it’d be a nice Christmas gift for him, even if it is many years late.”
“We’re never too old to appreciate gifts given with love. With God, you know, a future and a hope are ageless. This is a priceless gift, Lezlie. Thank you for putting it together for him.”
“What’d you do for me?” Jaxson entered the conversation as he slid into the room on an imaginary surfboard.
“Not you, carrot-top.” Lezlie handed the scrapbook to Sage before attempting to get her son in a headlock. He dodged and turned to crash right into Uncle Ted.
“Hold up there. What’s all the fuss?”
“Lezlie put this together for you,” Sage said, presenting the gift to Ted.
Ted peeked inside. Moisture pooled in his eyes. He hugged Lezlie. “I don’t know what to say, sweetheart. Glad my heart is strong. There are no words.”
Sage felt his throat thicken with his own tears.
“Hey, Unc, thank Lanae Petersen.” Lezlie patted Ted’s shoulder and winked at Sage. “She came into Dad’s life and shook up the whole family dynamics.”
Sage spoke for the first time since Ted had walked into the room. “It was my personal goal after reading the letter you wrote to Grandma from Alaska that I’d protect my family from our violent secrets.”
Ted smoothed a hand over the linen-like, handmade scrapbook cover. “I can relate to your empathy, son, and the reasons. Hypersensitivity can make us become callous. I’ve gone through years of avoiding people because of their problems, not wanting to get dragged down by their plights in life. I venture to guess that you got into spending time alone with your horses just so you didn’t have to face other people’s problems.”
“You’ve guessed right. But, by isolating myself, I sank deeper into my shell. Never letting go of Becca, for instance.”
But Lanae’s shown me what I’ve been missing.
“What’s this about Alaska?” Jaxson wanted to know.
“Let’s all get something cold to drink and I’ll tell you some stories,” Ted said, with his gaze locked on Sage.
19
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. —Hebrews 11:1-2
Conversation rose and fell at the Todd’s post-New Year’s party. The noise level climbed in such measurable decibels that Sage searched the room to spy the culprit responsible. Moselle had turned up the volume by something she said, making others laugh louder. Geneva and Rainn stood in the circle, arms around the other.
Sage had brought his family. They’d made it as far as the diningroom table heaped with food. He had yet to spy Lanae.
When Eric first invited Sage to a party, it was for his Bible study fellowship. Sage had declined. He viewed his renewed fellowship with the Lord as a precious chapter in his life, and he stayed home a few days to spend a lot of time on his knees.
He surveyed the room. Uncle Ted roared with laughter over something Mia Harris must have said. Sage’s heart hurt with pride over the way Jaxson had taken to the young girl. The teen had mumbled all the way to Platteville about being bored out of his skull. Just look at him now.
A collective “Ahhh” surrounded him, and he wondered out loud, “What—”
On a sharp indrawn breath, Sage shut off his wandering thoughts when he saw the answer. Everyone else was moaning over the appearance of a gigantic cheesecake smothered in dark red cherries and chocolate curls surrounded by mounds of whipped cream.
His vision filled with the woman holding the platter.
Sage had never seen Lanae in a dress. She wore a dusky rose that draped into a flirty skirt he guessed she made herself. Her knees played peekaboo with a lacy crocheted hem as she took careful steps. She wore wild cowboy boots in turquoise and dusty pink. Stunning. He guessed where she bought them.
Once she set the treasure on the serving table, he stepped to her side.
Leaning in close, he said, “I’m sure this is a cliché, but you take my breath away.”
“Ahhh. You’re a poet.”
Her eyes spoke volumes. But when the doorbell rang, they turned to watch an expected drama unfold.
Moselle greeted Kate but only had time to remove her coat before Ted threw his shoulders back and weaved his way across the room, oblivious of his audience.
Eric joined his wife Moselle near the door. Rainn pulled Geneva in closer to his side. Lezlie moved to stand near Jaxson and Mia.
Most adult eyes were glistening with moisture at the reunion taking place within their sight. God would help them recover, and overcome any obstacles to their remaining years on earth. Sage hoped to see many of them.
He swallowed a lump the size of a cow’s cud at the sight of Ted opening his muscular arms for Katherine to walk into.
“All these years I thought I was the reason you had disappeared,” Kate moaned with her voice muffled against Ted’s chest. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
Ted said, “I am. what there is of me. If it meets your approval, I’d like to spend the rest of our lives talking about important things. Like how’d you stay so pretty all this time?”
Kate blushed and giggled like a girl. Her eyes sparkled with tears and the light of love. Her cheeks turned pink enough to match the soft color of her lipstick.
Sage grinned, wondering if his uncle had the urge to kiss off that lip color.
Jaxson rolled his eyes and turned to Mia. “This is too mushy for me. I hear you’re learning to crochet. How about you tell me what you’ve been working on?”
“I would like that, Jaxson.” Mia looked up at her crochet teacher as if she needed reassurance. At Lanae’s nod, Mia told Jax all about the yarn stitches, the counting, the hook, and the scarf she was working on.
Jaxson made Sage proud, the way he listened to the little girl as if he was enthralled.
Moselle asked Kate and Ted if they’d like to go downstairs for privacy. Kate accepted spiced cider and Ted refilled his hot tea. They left the living room with their drinks and little space between them.
“Just because there’s snow on the mountain doesn’t mean the furnace went out,” Rainn said.
The men enjoyed the impact of the statement more, and laughed longer, than the women.
Sage surveyed the room to make sure Jax hadn’t overheard. He and Mia were now at the table eyeing Lanae’s cheesecake.
They weren’t the only ones with eyes glued to the table. Eric’s huge yellow dog, Dear, had been allowed inside for the occasion. Her golden brown eyes matched her owner’s, but were now drooping in a comical, begging pout. The St. Bernard/German shepherd drew Mia’s delightful laughter.
Sage figured it was a wise move, having the Pluto-look-alike inside to occupy the younger guests.
Eric ambled to the buffet table, stuffed a mini crab cake into his mouth, and filled a plate with finger foods. “Behave yourself,” he said as he scratched Dear behind the ears, “or you’ll find yourself back outdoors.”
Mia and Jaxson groaned their protests.
Lanae went back to the kitchen for a serving utensil, and he wondered if she was avoiding him. Except for the youngest in the group, the men and women were now segregated.
“So, Rainn, you need help with the drywall yet in your building?” Eric wanted to know.
“Eri
c’s referring to the three-story, hundred-year-old building on Main Street I’m transforming into an art studio as well as gallery,” Rainn explained for Sage. “I’ll showcase the work of other Nebraska artists as well as my own stained glass art.”
Sage said, “I hope it’s as successful as the women’s store.”
“Thanks. I’m calling it The Other One. Eric, ole pal, it just so happens, the twelve-foot sheets of drywall were delivered this morning. So, first chance we’re all free, you bet we can nail those babies up.” Rainn turned back to Sage. “Speaking of the building, I’ve been thinking about the rear entrance and plan to do something similar to what I did behind Frivolities. I hear you’ve made yourself a landscaped rock garden, according to Lanae. Mind if I take a look some time?”
“Give me a call, and I’ll show it to you. May and June are the best months for the flowers, but you come out and visit any time. I’ll see if neighboring farmers have rocks to spare. Speaking of your art, the first time I pulled up to the gals’ place off the alley, your stained-glass windmill caught my eye. You do fine work.”
“Appreciate it. I try to put a cross in my pieces, big or small. To me, the cross reaches out like the arms of Jesus, welcoming the whole world with His unconditional love. Since the cross tip extends up, I like to look to the sky so I don’t see the troubles of life around me.”
“Hmm. You guys spread your belief. Eric uses his gifts by teaching Bible study and you through your art. I’m going to have to figure out how Jesus fits into the way I work with horses.” His gaze landed on Mia and he wondered about children with special needs meeting his horses for therapy.
“You’ll find it.” Eric slapped him on the back.
“Speaking of finding,” Rainn said with a lift of his brows, “there’s someone in the kitchen I need to connect with.”
As Sage sauntered through the door after Rainn, Lezlie said, “Looks like Dad is after the other sister in the kitchen.”
Moselle joined Lezlie on the last three words. Their eyes met, and they said, “Jinx,” simultaneously. The women bumped hips as though they’d practiced the movement for years.
