Anything but Love

by Celya Bowers

  She knew she needed a breather from her schedule. Since her divorce four years ago, she’d worked hard to pack every minute of her spare time with something to do. It would be next to impossible to cut back now. She’d had a meeting with the accountant for her pet charity, InfaCare, a charity hospital for underprivileged children, and the meeting hadn’t been good. She needed to find some funding or the hospital was going to be in the red for the first time since opening its doors five years ago.

  Kendall prided herself on the fact that she never had to ask for funds. The equipment, as well as the doctors’ and nurses’ time, was donated. The only overhead she had was administration and medicine, two things she couldn’t control.

  Jordan growled, alerting Kendall that a stranger was approaching. The stranger was tall and walking at a brisk pace directly toward her. He was dressed in a dark running suit and she could feel her heart pumping hard and fast and trying to pop out of body as she recognized the stranger.

  “Hello, Kendall.” Cole stopped directly in front of her.

  Kendall stopped as well. “Hello, Cole. What are you doing here? Are you stalking me now? I told you I wasn’t interested in dating you.”

  A fine sheet of perspiration dotted his forehead. “How can you hold up your head? With that ego it must be huge. What are you doing in this subdivision?”

  “I asked you first,” Kendall said. “You’re not supposed to be able to wander the grounds. They have a public park a few blocks away.”

  “Why in God’s name would I go to a public park when I live here?”

  Kendall gasped. “You live here?”

  “Do you really think that poorly of me, Kendall? Okay, I might not have been the best teenager in town, but I don’t think I warrant this attitude from you.”

  Kendall felt like a fool. “It’s not that, Cole. I just didn’t know.”

  “Max didn’t tell you when he brought me home?” Cole started laughing. “That Max is a character. He was just over to my house the other day. You know he’ll do just about anything not to go home.”

  Kendall knew Max always stayed late at the hospital most nights, claiming he needed to catch up on paperwork. Although she didn’t question him, Kendall knew something wasn’t right in his marriage and was just waiting for Max to tell her. She knew all about male pride and didn’t want to hurt Max’s feelings.

  “Hey, are you at least listening to me?”

  “Of course. You were talking about Max.”

  “No, I wasn’t. I was asking you when you were going to drop the whole ‘man hater’ routine. You’re not the only woman to have had a cheating husband.”

  “I see Max has been talking,” Kendall whispered.

  “Have you ever just talked to Max as a friend?”

  She was outraged at the question. “Yes, he’s my best friend. How dare you imply I don’t know my friend?”

  “Because you don’t. You don’t know one thing about him, but he knows everything about you. He loves you.”

  Kendall’s mouth dropped open in shock and she reacted before she thought about it. She stepped toward him, expecting him to react like most men and step back, but Cole stood his ground. They stood body to body, but Kendall wasn’t about to back down. “Look, I know Max is going through something, but he’ll tell me when he’s darn good and ready. So why don’t you go finish your book or something?”

  Cole smiled at her, a definite challenge sparkling in his hazel eyes. His hands settled on her waist, halting her getaway. “How about the ‘or something’?”

  Kendall didn’t like the way her body was reacting to Cole’s nearness or his touch. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been near a man in her life. She’d had her share of intimacy and she was usually in control of her body. This time, however, her body had a mind of its own. She watched his face inch toward her and she was helpless to do anything but wait for his lips to touch hers.

  Cole hadn’t meant to kiss her, but what man could deny himself a taste of those lips? He lowered his head and let his lips graze hers as his arms drew her closer.

  She wasn’t fighting him, so he deepened the kiss. Her hands crept up to encircle his neck and she moaned. Cole took full advantage of her relaxed mouth, tentatively teasing her lips further apart and letting his tongue speak for him. The kiss was electric and swept him into a tidal wave he wasn’t quite ready for. He should release her, say something sharp and go back to his house, but something in his body wanted to pull this woman closer and lower her to the ground with his body on top of hers. He didn’t expect to get his wish.

  As they both fought for control of the kiss, Kendall lost her footing and they ended up on the ground with him sprawled on top of her. It wasn’t an unpleasant situation, but he didn’t want her to know how turned on he was. He quickly rolled off her as Jordan barked at him. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Got a little carried away.”

  “Apparently.” Kendall scrambled to her feet and stared at him. Then she squatted down beside him and began pulling up his pants leg.

  While this might have meant a green light for most men, Cole knew she was checking his ankle for injury. Her gentle caresses were playing havoc with his hormones. He was quickly on his way to having a full-blown erection, and there would be no way he could hide it. He pulled his leg away. “It’s fine, Doctor.”

  “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t re-injure your ankle. Actually, it looks pretty good.”

  “Yes, I was officially released today. Harry Connors said I should walk to get my strength back.”

  Kendall nodded and gracefully rose to stand. Unfortunately, since he was still on the ground, he caught a glimpse of a white sports bra under her short

  T-shirt. Why was something so functional turning him inside out?

  She reached out a hand to help him up. But Cole shook his head. “I’m too heavy for you.”

  She laughed. “You weren’t thinking that a few minutes ago. Give me your hand.” She held out her slender hand.

  Cole sighed and hoped for the best. The worst thing that could possibly happen would be that they both ended up on the ground again.

  He took her hand and stood. Kendall Stone Matthews was a lot stronger than she looked. They stood face to face, feeling the awkwardness of the moment.

  “Did you say you live here?”

  She asked it so innocently that Cole was a little confused. “Yes, I did.” The light finally went on in his thick skull. “You’re the friend.”

  “What?”

  He wanted to laugh at Max’s now-blatant attempts to push him toward Kendall. Max hadn’t bothered to tell either of them. “Max told me he had a friend who lived here. He just didn’t mention your name.”

  The expression on her face was priceless. It made her look softer, more vulnerable, and much more approachable. Until she opened her mouth.

  “I’m going to kill him. I’m going to give him a vasectomy the hard way.” As she skated away from him, mumbling to herself, her little dog jogged behind her.

  By all rights, Cole should warn Max of the trouble he was in, but he wasn’t going to. Max had played both him and Kendall and they’d fallen innocently into his trap.

  Cole walked toward his home and sighed. He was behind on his novel and that was where his attention should be, not on the woman who’d just skated away in a huff. The only thing Cole couldn’t decide was why. Was it that she hadn’t enjoyed the kiss as much as he did or that she was pissed at Max for not telling her where Cole lived?

  As he unlocked his front door he decided that only time would tell. And Kendall’s time was coming due in just a few days. She just didn’t know it yet.

  * * *

  Kendall walked into the hospital the next morning with one objective in mind and damn the consequences. She was definitely going to rip Max a new one for his latest stunt.

  It was a little past nine when she spotted Max in his usual position, perched on the edge of the desk of Jami Allen, her medical receptionist, annoying her while she att
empted to work. Jami was a chocolate-skinned sister with shoulder-length hair, which she always wore pulled back in a ponytail. She was giggling at something Max was saying.

  “Max Cork, I’m going to kill you!” Kendall announced as she approached Jami’s desk, which adjoined the nurses’ station.

  Max slid off the desk and faced her. A wide smile split his tanned face. “And why are you mad at me?”

  Kendall looked from Max to Jami. They both wore the silly high school grins of people in deep like, but they were both married to other people. Surely she was misreading the situation. Cole’s kiss from the night before still had her on edge, and it was showing.

  “Kee, why are you mad at me?”

  He knew she disapproved of him calling her by his pet name in front of the hospital personnel lest it undermine her authority with the staff. He was doing it to bait her, but she wasn’t losing her cool today. “My office.”

  Max saluted her in military fashion. “Yes, sir.” He winked at Jami and headed down the hall.

  Jami giggled at Max’s retreating figure. “He’s so funny.”

  Kendall cleared her throat, her usual signal for her staff to get back to work. “Do you have my agenda for today, Jami?”

  The laughter abruptly stopped. “Yes ma’am. Max pushed the Donovan sonogram back to two o’clock.”

  “Why is Max moving my appointments around without consulting me?”

  Jami looked flustered. “Max said he’d take care of it.”

  Kendall knew Max probably had a valid reason for changing the appointment times around, but he was on her bad list at the moment and should be taught a lesson. “Please remember that all changes should be authorized by me.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  At least someone treated her with respect, she thought. “Where’s Keerya?”

  Jami looked like a guilty child. She pretended great interest in the file on her desk. “I believe she’s running a little late this morning,” Jami offered in a low voice.

  And no doubt from partying all night, Kendall fumed silently. At twenty-eight, Keerya Sanchez was on her way to being a great OB nurse, but her night-time activities were playing havoc with her daytime job. Twice Kendall had had to reprimand Keerya for being late, and there wasn’t going to be a third. “Tell Keerya to see me when she gets in.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Kendall walked straight for her office without another word. It was starting out to be a devil of a day.

  She entered her office and found Max sitting in her chair behind her desk. Did the man not know how big a mess he’d created with his so-called matchmaking attempts? She closed her door with a thud, dropped her briefcase on the leather chair in the corner of her office. “Max, how many times do I have to remind you that I can find my own dates?”

  Max ignored her question. “I was merely trying to speed up the timetable. Admit it, Kee, you know you want Cole. I think you’ve met your match. He doesn’t back down from you like most men. He challenges you. It’s going to be interesting to see who falls first.”

  Kendall’s brain was on overload. Max wasn’t even denying his underhanded plan! “Max, listen to me,” Kendall started slowly. “I am not dating Cole. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. If I see his face again it might be harmful to your health.”

  Max rose from the chair and shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever. You’re still going out with Staci this weekend for girls’ night?”

  With all the drama with Cole the last few weeks, Kendall had completely forgotten about her monthly dinner date with one of her closest friends, Staci Diaz. “Thanks, Max, it had completely slipped my mind. Staci would kill me if I cancelled on her.”

  Max nodded and walked to her. “You know, I do all this for your own good. Kendall, you need some love in your life.”

  Kendall shook her head. “I tried love and it didn’t work. I’m settling for a little friendship, which I have with you.”

  Max looked at her with serious blue eyes. “You know I love you, but you need someone to do the things I can’t.”

  Kendall knew what Max meant. Yes, it would be nice to cuddle and watch a movie with someone, but she didn’t have that option. “Max, it would be nice, but I’m not looking for that. How about I just settle for Mr. Will Do? You know, someone that will do when I need a date and not much else.”

  “I think you’re selling yourself short.”

  “Maybe. But for now that has to be enough.”

  Max kissed her on the cheek.

  Kendall smiled at her friend of six years and laughed. “This is when you say, ‘If I wasn’t married, you’d be my woman.’”

  When Max didn’t answer, Kendall knew it was time for her to drop all pretense. “Okay, Max, I’ll tell you what.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “I’ll be nicer to Cole if you tell me what’s going on in your life. By life, I mean marriage.”

  “Why do I feel like I’ve just been escorted to the corner of the room and there’s no way out but yours?”

  Kendall batted her eyelashes, something she’d never do in front of anyone other than Max. “Because you’d be right.”

  “How about you come to Nurses’ Night Out, next Friday? If you do, then we have a deal.”

  Kendall knew this was another example of getting what she paid for, but decided to play along. She extended her hand to Max. “Deal.”

  Max smiled. “Pleasure doing business with you.” He headed for the door.

  “Wait just a minute. Spill it.”

  He stopped at the door and took a dramatic breath. “All right.” He turned around and walked back to her. “Remember, you wanted to know, so I’m telling you. And only you.”

  Kendall nodded.

  “For the last few years, Caitlin and I have been having problems. She didn’t like the idea of me returning to school after Carson was born. She says I spend too much time at the hospital. And I’m just tired of arguing with her. I know I tell you you deserve some happiness, but I think I deserve some, too. Do you know I’ve haven’t been intimate with Caitlin in almost three years? Carson is four.”

  Until recently, Kendall had always thought her friend was happy. “I’m sorry, Max.”

  “It’s not your fault. Caitlin and I have been married ten years, and I guess when it took her so long to get pregnant, the tension started to build between us. I’ve been trying to talk her into counseling, but to her that’s admitting failure.”

  Kendall sat down in her chair. She felt like a fool for berating him for playing matchmaker. “Why is getting help for something you believe in failure?”

  Max knelt in front of her and caressed her hand. “Why don’t you try online dating?”

  Kendall knew exactly why she didn’t try online dating. That was admitting failure, that she couldn’t find a man on her own. “Touché. What about you? How are you dealing with this? You can’t stay like this forever.”

  Max shrugged. “Right now, I’m more concerned about Carson. Caitlin keeps throwing him in my face. She knows how much I love my son. She says she might move to get a fresh start.”

  “Oh, that’s just awful. Women can be heartless sometimes.”

  “Spoken like the queen,” Max drawled.

  “I’m not heartless!”

  “No, you’re just focused on everything but a man.”

  * * *

  Several hours later, Max’s words still rang loudly in Kendall’s ears as she prepared for the Donovans’ monthly visit. Peri Donovan was one of her favorite patients. Although Peri’s pregnancy had been full of complications, Peri’s outlook had been outstanding. Most of the nurses looked forward to Peri’s visit, mostly because of her husband, Brendan.

  His Irish accent and intense blue eyes, plus the fact he didn’t notice all the nurses swooning over him, just made him sexier. But Brendan only saw his African-American wife.

  Kendall was washing her hands in the private bathroom adjoining her office when she heard a gentle tap on the do
or. She knew it was Keerya coming in for her reprimand. This time Kendall had a surprise for her.

  “Just a minute,” Kendall called.

  “Dr. Matthews, it’s Keerya.”

  “I know. I’ll be right out.”

  Kendall dried her hands and walked into her office. Keerya sat on the couch, her purse in her hand, obviously knowing the reason for this meeting.

  Kendall walked to her desk and sat down. “Keerya, we’ve had this discussion before. I understand what it’s like to be young, but you have a responsibility to this hospital. I pride myself on having the best of the best on my staff so I can give my patients the best care possible. You’re a dynamite nurse and I know you’ll get better with time, but this coming in late and reeking of alcohol is not going to cut it.”

  Keerya’s dark brown eyes filled with tears. “I understand, Dr. Matthews. I do love working here, even with…” She let the sentence drop.

  “Me being a bitch.”

  Keerya’s mouth hung open in shock. “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to. I know everyone in this hospital is afraid of me. I don’t want people to fear me.” Lie. “I want people to understand that my main concern is the integrity of the hospital. I don’t want to have to worry about my nurses smelling like a brewery while attending patients.”

  Keerya rose from her seat. “I know I messed up. It’s my fault. I know you’ve already given me more chances than I deserve.”

  “So why do you keep doing it? Do you want to be fired?”

  “No.”

  Kendall sat in the chair opposite Keerya and looked the young woman in her face. “Then tell me what’s going on with you.”

  Keerya reached for a Kleenex and blew her nose. “Well, Dr. Matthews, my parents have been married about thirty years. A couple of months ago my mother told me that she doesn’t love my dad and doesn’t love me and told us both to get out of her house. It threw my dad for a loop and didn’t do me much good, either. My dad moved in with my aunt until he can find a place, and I just moved into a new condo a few days ago. I had to go help my dad this morning. It took longer than usual.”