When she returned to the house, she found the children drawing at the kitchen table. “Where’s Jake, do you know?” she asked Angela. She had sorted out her thoughts on the drive home.
Angela beckoned her outside. They stood at the backdoor, out of the earshot of the children.
“I saw him go up to the graveyard,” she said.
“I’ve never seen it, where is it?”
“Halfway up to the dam,” she said pointing. “Follow the track—you can’t miss it.”
“He wouldn’t want me there, I’d be intruding.”
“It’s time he put the past behind him.” Angela said pursing her lips. “Life is for living not mourning the dead.”
“I’ll wait until he comes back, Angela,” Caitlin said.
“As you wish.” Angela opened the screen door and disappeared inside.
Caitlin walked a little way up the hill. In the distance, she saw a copse of trees surrounded by an old iron fence. She could just make Jake out, bending down. She turned and walked back to the house.
That night after dinner, she joined him in the sitting room for a drink, the first time in weeks.
She watched him at the drink’s tray, he had a sorrowful air about him. Too little time had passed for him to be over his own personal tragedy, and now another death had come to Tall Trees. It didn’t matter that it was a man he never knew and would never have liked or understood.
“I have to go home, Jake,” she said, as he handed her the glass. “Back to Ireland. I have unfinished business there.”
She had thought about it long and hard. Running away from Dublin hadn’t solved anything. She had to go back to see Detective Cummins. She owed it to Blaine, and to Mary, if her death had been at Max’s hands. She needed to go home and see how she felt about being there, now that the threat that had poisoned her life was no longer present. And she needed to overcome her feelings for Jake.
Jake was watching her as if trying to read her thoughts. “You mustn’t blame yourself for anything that happened here.”
She didn’t answer—didn’t know what to say.
“No one was badly hurt, Caitlin. Except Max. And maybe his death saved more lives.”
“Yes. Thank you. I see that.”
“Do you really have to go?”
“I think it’s best, Jake.”
“And it won’t help to tell you again how much you’ll be missed?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “It helps, but it won’t change anything.”
He took her glass. “Another?”
“Yes, please.” Tonight, she needed it.
“I plan to take the children to my mother’s for a few weeks.” He sighed, looking terribly tired. “While I’m there I’ll look for someone to take your place.”
“I’ll leave as soon as practicable.”
“You can come with us to Darwin and catch an International flight from there.”
“Thank you.” She felt there was much that both of them weren’t saying. Max’s death seemed to hang over them like a pall. She took a large gulp of Scotch, feeling the fiery liquid burn through her cold stomach, but it didn’t help her heart.
* * * *
Caitlin went to say goodbye to Harry and the boys.
“We’ll miss you, Caitlin,” said Wiley. “We need an Annie Oakley around these parts.”
“The more the merrier,” Mick said grinning.
As they went back to their work, Harry put his arms around her and kissed her on both cheeks. “I’m sorry to see you go,” he said drawing away, “but not near as sorry as Jake will be, I reckin.”
“He’s fine with it,” Caitlin said. “He’ll find another governess. Or maybe he won’t need one when he and Vanessa marry.”
Harry winked. “He’s coming out of that shell he’s been hiding in since his wife died. Vanessa will be the first casualty.”
“What makes you think so?”
“I’ve got eyes in my head.” He grinned. “We’ll take a bet on it.”
“How will I pay you?”
“When we meet next will be just fine. Twenty bucks. Shake.”
Caitlin laughed and shook his hand.
* * * *
Saying goodbye to Elizabeth and William was the hardest. It tore at Caitlin’s heart. Elizabeth wouldn’t let go until she’d extracted a promise that she would come back some time to see them.
Jake’s blue eyes searched hers. “Don’t forget us,” he said. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. “I’ll miss you.”
“I will miss all of you,” Caitlin said, drawing away reluctantly, fighting tears. “The children promised to write to me.”
She handed her boarding pass to the flight attendant. Jake was still standing there. He said something to the children and they all waved her out of sight.
The jet rose over the turquoise sea with its hidden depths of ultramarine and violet. It banked and the sea disappeared, and with it, the end of her life at Tall Trees. She began to cry and suspected she would cry for most of the trip back to Ireland. She shrugged an apology at the gray-haired woman sitting next to her.
“Goodbye’s are hard,” the woman said.
Caitlin nodded. “Oh!”
“Is something wrong?”
“He said, I will miss you.”
The woman smiled. “That’s nice to know.”
Caitlin shook her head. “He used to say, we will miss you.”
“Ah.” The woman nodded sagely. “You’ll be coming back then.”
“He’ll have to come and get me.”
“That’s the way,” the woman said, giving her shoulder a pat.
Caitlin blew her nose. She glanced out the plane’s window at the thick bank of clouds. Land and water had disappeared. She wished she felt confident that he would.
[Back to Table of Contents]
* * *
Chapter Eighteen
Every day of the following month seemed to drag, despite Caitlin keeping herself very busy. The flat needed a thorough clean, the pantry and the refrigerator stocked. She took her winter clothes out of storage. She seemed to feel the cold more than she used to, and her winter wardrobe was sadly lacking, so she went shopping for a new overcoat, jumpers, pants and boots. The faulty heating in the flat needed to be fixed. She’d been to the work center to enquire about a teaching position, and had set up an interview for the following week. A phone call informed her that Detective Cummins had returned to work.
In the Guardia station, Detective Cummins pulled out a chair for her and offered her coffee.
When Caitlin declined, he sat down and opened a file. “I received your letter. I must thank you for your assistance. We have impounded and examined a silver sedan owned by the Haughton family. The results are conclusive.” He looked up at her. “There’s no doubt it was the car that ran Blaine Tremlow down and killed him.”
Caitlin took a deep breath as mixed emotions ran through her. “What about Mary Delaney?”
“The case has been reopened.”
“You’ll let me know if you learn anything new, Detective Cummins?”
“Indeed, I will.”
She left the Garda station thinking she must take Angela’s advice and get on with living, but her heart didn’t seem to be listening. It had begun to rain and she struggled to open her umbrella, remembering sunny skies, two children with sweet faces, and Jake.
* * * *
Caitlin left the bus and crossed the street to her apartment. She’d been at her new school for almost a month. She liked her class and began to make friends with some of the staff, but it was taking far longer to feel at home than she expected. She felt unaccountably lonely.
She faltered, at the sight of a tall figure waiting at the gate of her apartment building. Before he turned her way, she knew it was he. She found herself gasping, as if she’d been running. Was Vanessa here too? She steadied herself and continued to walk towards him.
Blue eyes smiled down at her. “Hello, Caitlin.�
��
“Hello. I’ve never seen you wear a suit,” she said, fighting to stay calm.
“Do you approve?”
He looked so good. Her gaze took in every loved detail, as if regaining her sight after a period of blindness. “What are you doing here in Dublin?”
“You promised to help me when I came to Dublin, remember? Aren’t you going to ask me in?”
“Of course.” Feeling herself blush, she took out her key.
He stood in her living room making the flat appear much smaller. “It’s good to see you,” he said, pulling off his black leather gloves.
“It’s good to see you, too.” She found she was still clutching her briefcase in her hand.
He laughed. “May I take off my coat?”
“Of course,” she said again. She took a steadying breath. “Let me take it for you.”
She resisted the urge to hold it to her nose before she hung it in the coat cupboard along with hers. She turned back to him nervously pushing back her hair.
She found him sitting on her sofa, his long legs stretched out over the rug. “Can I get you anything? she asked. “Tea? Coffee? I don’t have any Scotch.”
“It’s a little early for Scotch.” He raised his eyebrows. “Have you turned into a drinker?” He grinned, patting the sofa. “Come and tell me how you are.”
“I’m fine.” She sank down beside him. “How are the children?”
“They’re well. They’ve been missing you, particularly Elizabeth.”
“I’ve missed them, too.”
He reached out and took her hand. “Just the children?”
“And Angela, and Harry and Riley?” She removed her hand. She had to know. “How’s Vanessa?”
“Angela is fine. Harry’s started dating Deb from Burrawong. She used to go out with young Jimmy, but she always had a crush on Harry.”
Caitlin smiled. “I remember her.”
“Riley’s completely recovered and back at work. I haven’t seen Vanessa for a couple of months. We ended our relationship. Just after you left, actually.”
“I’m sorry,” she lied.
“Don’t be.”
“Maybe, I’m not that sorry.”
“Do you know,” he said firmly taking her hand again and kissing it, “I’ve wanted to make love to you from the very first moment I saw you.” He laughed at her gasp. “It caused me some very uncomfortable moments, I can tell you.”
“I thought you disapproved of me.”
He shook his head. “I felt like a heel. A lust-filled heel, every time I looked at you. And that green costume just about did it!”
“I felt the same about you,” she confessed. She laughed as a feeling of joy spread through her. She longed to hug him, but felt if she did she’d wake up and he’d disappear.
“I thought you were keen on Harry for a while.”
“No. Only you.” She felt calm now, except for the hot need for him, gathering force in her stomach.
He looked down at their hands still entwined. “I haven’t behaved particularly well, Caitlin, I’m afraid. I realized that I was using Vanessa. She didn’t break through my protective shell because I didn’t love her. And she knew. It made her pretty darn mad in the end, and I don’t blame her.
“The day you flew out of Australia, I left the kids with my mother and went to a pub. I was intent on getting drunk.” He looked up at her and the honesty in his blue eyes made her gasp. “But I met an eccentric old guy drinking at the bar. A bit of a philosopher. After a couple of drinks, I talked my head off. How I blamed myself for the accident, then as time went on and my grief lessened, I felt even worse. As if I wasn’t honoring her enough.” He shook his head. “The old guy quoted me a lot of complex philosophy, which I had to stay sober to grasp, but it was really just that he listened. Somehow, I left that bar feeling lighter than I had for a long time.”
“You have to come to terms with it. And give yourself permission to enjoy the rest of your life.”
“I knew you’d understand.” He smiled. “Because you’ve dealt with loss yourself. Caroline would want me to have a good life, as I would her, if it had been me who died in that crash.”
He took a deep breath. “My God,” he said. “What have we been waiting for?” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “I have to know if you want to come back, Caitlin.” He shrugged. “I’m too old for one-night stands. I want us to be forever.”
“Oh, you can count on that,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. His kiss felt just the way she thought it would in her dreams.
His arms tightened around her and his kisses grew more urgent. He pushed her gently away. “I don’t intend to act like an oaf. I intend to take you to dinner.”
“I’m not hungry,” she said placing her arms back around his neck.
“See what you do to me,” he whispered, pressing her close.
She thrilled at the feeling of his hard body against hers. She always knew in her heart that this was how love should be.
“Can I show you my bedroom?”
“That won’t be hard to find. You can’t swing a cat in this place.” He laughed and picked her up in his arms, carrying her down the hall. Once inside the bedroom, he put her down and kissed her again, his tongue searching her mouth, stoking the fire raging within her.
He unbuttoned her sweater and she helped, unzipping her skirt and stepping out of it. She stood before him in her white bra, knickers and suspender belt, wishing fleetingly that she’d worn her good, black underwear and sheer black stockings instead of serviceable opaque ones. But those thoughts quickly left her. She felt a new confidence when she met his gaze, thrilling at the raw, animal desire she found there.
Jake undid her bra and kissed her breasts, nuzzling each nipple gently with his tongue. She felt a hot sensation surge through her stomach and her need for him grew. Sweeping her up, he laid her on the bed. He pulled off her knickers. She covered herself with her hands, suddenly embarrassed.
He moved away her hands. “Let me look at you.”
Rising, he began removing his clothes without taking his eyes from her. His body was beautiful, long-limbed and muscular. She longed to stroke his smooth, olive skin. When she saw his erection, she shivered. Joining her again on the bed, his hands trailed over her body, melting away her apprehension and making her feel powerful. Instinctively, she slid her hand from his chest down over the flat plane of his stomach and lower, he felt like velvet and steel.
He moaned softly.
“I want you inside me,” she whispered unable to wait.
“No. Not yet, I want this to last.” He kissed her breasts and trailed soft kisses down over her stomach, until his lips found the throbbing nub at the apex of her thighs.
Caitlin was shocked by the intimacy of it. She opened her mouth to tell him he was the first, but was lost as his tongue produced wave upon wave of delicious pleasure. Then he rolled over on top of her and entered her, pushing into the moistness between her thighs, and it was too late. After a brief, tearing pain, she felt an amazing sense of completeness.
But he had stopped.
She saw the surprise in his eyes. “Darling, I’m the first?”
“Just love me,” she begged.
He groaned and began to move.
She met his rhythmic thrusts, lifting her hips as her passion mounted to such an exquisite pitch.
He shuddered uncontrollably and she felt warmth spreading through her stomach.
As Jake rested his head on her breasts, Caitlin slid her fingers into his thick, dark hair and lifted his head, needing to confirm that it had been as good for him as it was for her. “I’ll get better,” she promised.
“You’re perfect, my darling” he said, moving to lie beside her, “but why didn’t you tell me?”
“There never seemed to be a right time,” she confessed, feeling her cheeks grow hot.
He kissed her. “I was so afraid I’d lost you. It wasn’t something that could be said
over the phone. I couldn’t get away until I found the right governess. I spent sleepless nights worrying that I’d left it too late and some other guy had snapped you up.”
“Never.”
“But at the same time I needed to get things straight in my head, and I knew you did too.”
Caitlin nodded and closed her eyes.
“Caitlin?” He shook her gently. I’m telling you how deeply in love with you I am.” He laughed. “I never thought I’d feel this way again.”
“I love you too, Jake, desperately.” She tucked her head into the hollow of his shoulder. “But I feel so lazy. Let’s have a rest and then make love again.”
Jake gathered her up in his arms. “Let’s go and have dinner. We need to make plans. And then,” he grinned, “we’ll come right back here where we belong, in your bed.”
Caitlin sat up. “I can’t wait to see the children. And Harry.”
Jake’s eyebrow rose. “Harry?”
“I owe him twenty dollars.” She laughed.
“You talk too much,” Jake said, pushing her back and kissing her, long and hard.
When she could, Caitlin gasped. “What about dinner?”
“We’ll have an early breakfast.”
“Mmm.”
The End
* * *
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