by Sylvia Banks
“At the cost of something special.” Mom wasn’t pulling any punches. She knows me well, but she was backing me in a corner.
“Who cares? I have my bakery,” I said.
Mother’s face dropped and her gaze seemed troubled. “Dreams are meant to be shared.”
I didn’t have time to think about what she said, the lunch crowd was starting to come in. Thank goodness my days were busy until closing, otherwise I might have been able to dwell on that statement more.
But it wasn’t during the day where thoughts of Warren invaded, it was at night after I closed the shop. On the walk to the convenience store or picking up something for dinner I’d think about him. Baked goods for breakfast and lunch were a perk when living alone, but I’d always wanted something different for dinner. Something like Roy’s on the night Warren took me out. It was always like this coming home from picking up supper. I wish he’d hurry up and leave my mind. Wasn’t six months enough time to forget?
Chapter 14
I didn’t know if it was businesses in general or just businesses in Boston where you needed a specialty to be known for if you were going to be a success. My specialty were marshmallow like puffs in the shape of animals. One teddy-bear puff was enough to sweeten and cream your coffee while the steaming hot cup of joe cooled.
There were a lot of customers who came in early and bought pastries just to play with Fabiola’s fantastic animal creamers in their morning coffee. One of them was a sixteen year old with a crooked smile and messy hair I served since the day I opened.
But, so far, I was the only one who knew the recipe and if I wanted to keep up with demand I had to train someone else to help make them. Which was why Wanda was in the back practicing and I was on the register during the morning rush.
One customer in line turned to three and before I knew it I was running around preparing the regulars orders as soon as they came in and greeting the next person in line. It was such a smooth flow I didn’t even stop to call Wanda to the front. Big mistake.
Everything came to a halt when a foreboding figure stood in front of me. My jaw dropped at the man standing before me. His intense green eyes and the superiority in his stance brought a flush to my cheeks. My mind went blank. The groove I’d had all morning came to a screaming halt.
“Ms. Renzi,” Warren said. “You’re in the front today. Why are you not in back doing accounting?” One corner of his mouth lifted slowly until it broke into a full smirk. He looked beautiful. Better than my memory.
No words came out. At first I thought I was in deep crap. I wanted to plunge head first in the gallon sized dough mixer spinning behind me. I’d drown in flour, water and sugar but it’d be better than facing Warren. I expected wrath, condemnation and contempt in his demands for an explanation, but none of that came. Warren gazed at me with sexual heat in his eyes but he kept his hands in his pockets and shined that beautiful smile down on me.
“Uh, why are you here?” I said.
“There should be an order for Warren?” His eyes twinkled in mischief.
No way! So that order from yesterday really was Warren Trost? “Um, let me check.” Come to think of it, there have been a few orders for Warren the past few weeks. Those were all him? Why is he here? Is this a coincidence or was he looking for me? If so, why? So many questions rambled in my brain as I looked for the pre-orders.
After finding the box I mechanically smiled and rang him up. I gave him change, he thanked me and walked out. That was it? Hi, thank you very much, and bye? What the hell? My heart pounded. I wanted to run and hide. But the pure and simple fact that he treated me like some…ordinary baker boiled my blood. He should have at least asked me how I was doing, or thrown a fit, or made a scene.
But that wasn’t Warren, was it? The master of the cool, calm togetherness of a loan shark wouldn’t create problems for my business. He’d wait till after hours. His deep voice resonated and his words just now registered, Why are you not in the back doing accounting?
He knew I was here. But why hadn’t he come to me? Why not ask for me those other times he ordered? Was he avoiding me? No, that was stupid, he wouldn’t come to my bakery if he were avoiding me. Now that I knew he was here would he come see me?
I put my scattered questions aside and helped the next customer. After the second face I was back in the zone, helping my regulars. But in the back of my head, my noodle was doing loops and my heart was twisting around like the pretzel maker after seeing Warren.
When the day slowed I turned to my assistant and said, “Do you remember the order for Warren you took over the phone?”
Wanda bobbed her head. “Yeah, strong, silent type.”
More like overbearing type. “Yeah, that guy.”
“What about him?”
“Does he come in often?” I grabbed some dough for the lunch hour and started kneading.
“Every Friday.”
Interesting. I hadn’t seen him because my role with Wanda was always reverse from the unusual situation today. I was always in the back and came out during the nine o’clock rush. Giving Wanda a break from the seven-thirty rush. I’d never answered the phone so how could I catch that deep rich voice when he placed his order. Maybe I’d switch with her on Friday’s.
I felt a twinge of jealousy at her happy response. “I guess he is good enough to remember even if he’s not an everyday customer.”
“Do you know him?” Wanda glanced over at me.
“Maybe,” I teased.
“Is he the one your mama was talking about?”
My jaw dropped. “What?”
“Your mama was saying you are in love.”
I punched the dough on the counter before me. “She sure does spout some amusing stuff.”
“Uh-huh,” Wanda giggled. “That’s why I said to her you were married to work. No doubt about it.”
“Thanks Wanda,” I said. I was half serious about the gratitude. In love? Sure I really liked Warren, but love? I mean, I hardly knew him. A smart, career minded woman like me didn’t just fall in love with a guy. No way could I afford that right now.
After scolding myself about how impossible it was to be in love I finally got back to work. The day passed and I found myself locking up the shop and ready for dinner. If this were a romantic comedy Warren would be waiting for me beyond the sidewalk’s maple trees. No one was there. I checked.
Still, as always he occupied my mind. I had so many questions. Now that I’d seen him here I couldn’t stop thinking about him, even more so than before. I kept looking for him while buying dinner, walking home, even out the window of my dinky little apartment. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting. Maybe he’d walk by? Perhaps he’d throw rocks at my window? That made me laugh. A picture of Warren tapping the glass on my bedroom window just didn’t seem like him. He’d be more the type to get ahold of my landlord and have my door opened for him.
As I fell asleep the same questions flittered in my head. But two most annoying ones were, why was Warren in Boston? And why was he acting like nothing happened?
Chapter 15
“Wanda, does Warren come in any other days?” I asked. I was going for nonchalant.
“Nope.” Wanda concentrated on putting ingredients into a mixer. “Just Friday’s.”
I’d waited for Warren to come in since Saturday, but he hadn’t come in for the past six days. Now that Thursday rolled around I was getting anxious.
“But,” Wanda said, flipping a switch on the mixer for the next batch of dough. “He always calls the day before and places an order.”
Damn. So I could talk with him if I answered the phone. With my luck, mom would call every fifteen minutes once she knew I started answering. No way. But there was another way to get ahold of him. During the week I’d done some homework. I learned there was a BankTrost branch here in Boston. Warren had to be here for training or some deal.
“How long has he been coming in?” I asked.
Wanda thought for a moment and said, “
Past two months.”
Okay. So he was here for a deal that took a while. When I worked for BankTrost it was common for Warren to be out for a few weeks for a contract. But this was a bit longer than usual.
I seriously thought about how I felt about Warren. I wouldn’t say it was love. More like I wanted to get to know him more. He was fascinating. Maybe my interest would wane. Not having him around wasn’t making him leave my mind so maybe having him around would help me decide what to do. Until tomorrow I would do everything as usual.
~ ~ ~
Friday morning rush came and I stayed up front with Wanda. Our foot traffic had gotten too much to practice anything in the back. If we sold out, we sold out. The important thing was to keep the line moving and customers happy.
My mantra was always, he’ll be here so act natural. As natural as a crazy redhead can. I’d prepared myself all morning for the time when he’d come in. My stomach could be the dough mixer with the way it turned over on itself. Then I came face-to-face with those green eyes I caught my breath. Everything I’d told myself all morning, all the preparation turned to ash. Here I was staring at Warren while behind the register standing like I had nothing better to do with a line full of people. Shit what do I say?
“Why are you here?” I blurted out.
Warren lifted a sculpted eyebrow. “Because I ordered breakfast for my staff and I’m here to pick it up.”
I shook my head. “No, why are you here in Boston?”
My assistant handed him a bag with his box of baked goods. He smiled and handed me cash. “I work in Boston, Ms. Renzi.”
Before I could say anymore he turned and left, presenting me with my next customer. The sly devil hadn’t even waited for his change. Whatever. A five dollar tip was fine by me. Show off.
He’d come and gone so fast his arrival was just a blip in my memory. Only after the day passed could I reflect on Warren. Being busy was good. I didn’t have time to think about him all day. But as always, the loneliness crept in after dark. I wondered where he was, what he was doing and if he was still in the office. He probably was still working. It was only six o’clock. What puzzled me the most was his I work in Boston…
Did that mean permanently?
I grabbed a cart hot dog for dinner and found myself walking a different route. It was the opposite direction of my apartment to an upscale high rise along Huntington Avenue. Several windows were lit up on the building and I stood there counting levels to the sixth floor and spotting one office with its lights on. A corner office just like the one in Illinois.
Without much thought I walked the path to the glass doors and went into the building’s main lobby. My tennis shoes squeaked on the marble floor and the sound echoed off the smooth white walls. The reception desk was empty so I went towards the elevators and scanned the directory. BankTrost was up on the board as the sixth and seventh floors.
I pushed the elevator button and waited for the doors to open. A ding and then I walked inside the elevator and pushed button number six. It wasn’t until the doors closed and I felt the inertia of being lifted that my logic and reason came flooding into my mind. My heart palpitated, my mind went blank and my breathing cut short. What was I doing? What would I say if I saw him? What if I saw him? Holy crap, what if I saw him?
My emotions went from mindless courage to piss-my-pants fear and despair. No. Not doing this now. I’ll take the elevator ride down and go home. This was a bad idea. The elevator chimed the arrival of its destination and the doors opened.
The man I wasn’t going to see halt just before he stepped in the elevator. Warren stood staring at me in dismay. I stood gawking at man who could set my panties on fire just from thinking about him. Ten seconds went by and we just stared at each other. There was no movement, no world outside, just us. Then the elevator doors started closing. The manly silhouette of my dreams was being slowly hindered by metal.
Warren threw his arm out and caught the elevator before it closed. I jumped back and he stepped in letting the elevator doors close behind his back. Again we stared at each other, him with his intense soul-crushing scowl and me feeling dumbfounded. I was both happy and petrified seeing him again. But when the elevator didn’t move the spell I was under turned into uncomfortable silence.
“Good evening, Ms. Renzi,” Warren said. He stabbed at the panel behind him and the lobby floor button lit up. “What floor were you going to?”
The downward inertia of the elevator made me have to pee. “Uhhh…”
“Where you looking for someone?” He said.
I didn’t answer because I couldn’t.
Warren landed his palm against the wall behind me and leaned in closer to my face. He stopped short of kissing me—or maybe that was my wishful thinking. Those intense soul-searching green lasers that pierced my heart filled my vision. A flurry of pain, confusion and longing danced behind his wall of indifference. He was not unaffected by me as he pretended when he came to my shop. The knowledge gave me a little courage. That and I couldn’t run away while I was stuck in this box with him.
The ride down seemed to have stopped time and quicken every nerve in my body. My heart raced, my hands shook and I couldn’t look away from Warren. He was a beautiful, fierce predator. But something my mom told me came to me. She’d said men carry one heart and once it’s broken those pieces don’t fit back together. Sometimes they have to throw some of those broken parts away to keep their sanity. Those parts will never grow back and never return so all the feelings they have must go back in an even smaller place. Kind of like shoving ten pounds of sugar in a five pound bag. I’d always wondered what happened to the overflowing sugar in that case.
I now fully understood what mom was trying to say. I couldn’t put it in to words but if I had to it meant that you could never go back.
The elevator doors opened and for a moment he didn’t move. Then he took two strides backwards and said, “Goodbye, Ms. Renzi.”
He then turned and walked away. There was something in the way he backed-up and those eyes that spoke to my soul that told me his goodbye was final. I put my hand to my chest to stop the crushing pain when I thought I’d never see him again. That outcome was not acceptable. Maybe this was love, maybe it wasn’t but I mustered all the crazy redhead I possessed and stomped out of the elevator, down the corridor towards him. “Why are you here?”
He didn’t stop when he answered. “I believe I said before, I work here.”
“You use to work in Illinois. Did you come here to follow me?”
His lips tightened. “I came here because the Boston office needed me here.”
“Did Ellis approve of your move?”
Warren stopped and turned. “If you follow me I’m going to put you in my car and take you home.”
“I’m fine with that.” I gave him a stiff upper lip to go with my attitude.
He tsked at me and continued walking.
I remained silent and walked beside him. Shame filled me. I’d left without saying goodbye. He had every right to shout at me, tell me what a horrible person I was, or say he wanted nothing to do with me. But even though he walked with his usual prowl he didn’t seem angry with me.
“Warren, I didn’t run away from you, I ran towards my goal.”
“And I admire you for it.”
My head snapped up. He wasn’t angry. “So you don’t hate me?”
He glared down at me. Ouch. That look hurt. He worked his jaw as we entered a parking lot. Okay, maybe he was angry. But I couldn’t blame him. I did just up and leave.
“It would have been courteous to say some sort of farewell, however, under the circumstances I guess it wasn’t possible.” Warren spoke as if it took great strength not to unload his pain onto me.
I swallowed the lump of anxiety in my throat. “Well, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.”
Warren smirked. Keys jingled and his green Aston Martin chirped. In the distance I could see his vehicle across the way.
“I do
n’t bluff,” Warren said.
“What?”
“I told you if you followed me I’d take you home.” Warren edged closer to me and put a hand around my waist.
“And I believe I told you that I’m fine with that.”
“Really?” He said. He shortened his stride to match mine. “Then why don’t you come with me and explain why you couldn’t give me a simple phone call telling me why you’d left.”
Shit. I’d thought a clean break would be best for both of us, but I guess it wasn’t that simple. “Well I didn’t think you’d chase after me for trying to make is easier on you.”
Warren broke away from me and opened the door. He acted gentlemanly while at the same time he snubbed his nose at me. “I didn’t come here for you. I came here for work.”
I climbed in the passenger seat and he shut the door. When he slipped in the driver’s side I said, “Really? You just happened to come here to Boston for work?”
“Yes, Ms. Renzi, we have offices all over the United States.”
That was almost as good as saying wherever you go, I’ll follow. Or maybe that was just redhead logic. But that evil smirk of his made me consider the possibility that he might be thinking redhead logic.
“Warren, I left like that because I didn’t want to cause you any problems.” It sounded like an excuse and maybe it was, but at the time I really did think I was doing the right thing. Truthfully, I don’t think I would have done anything different.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’d rather you bother me more.”
“Huh?” That made no sense.
Warren twisted in his seat, turning towards me. “What I mean is, how can you be so heartless as to just walk away? Did you think about how I would react after what you’d said?”
Whoa. A more than two word sentence. “Says the man who taped me and then told me to sleep with him.”
“I would never…” He righted himself and grit his teeth. “You’re always so sensible. How else was I supposed to get your attention?”
