by Tiana Cole
Christopher sped onto the freeway. Every few seconds he would look over at Madison, her face worn and sad, and she had yet to make eye contact with him.
“I know I…well, I took advantage of the situation. I knew you had probably a few drinks too many and I should have been a gentleman and taken you home and left, but I…I just couldn’t. I couldn’t resist you anymore.”
“Well, it does take two, Christopher, as they say.” Madison's words were barely audible as they sped along on the fast road. They passed several cars, but traffic was moving steadily and Madison was grateful that Christopher had to keep his penetrating eyes on the road instead of on her. She wasn’t sure she would be able to say what she needed to under his all-seeing stare.
“I wanted to have sex with you just as much as you did. I'm not putting all the blame on you. I feel too guilty for my part in cheating on Ailsa.” The words came out all in a rush and it took a moment for Christopher to process it. He drove on in silence for a moment.
“It doesn’t make what I did right, but I can’t say that I’m sorry. But I am glad to hear that.” He cast her another small, half smile that was a tinge bittersweet, but when he covered her hand in his all she could do was sigh in contentment.
Christopher said nothing but continued to drive; he was heading towards his beach house in the Hamptons. Madison's eyes were swollen and puffy after the hours spent crying with the shame of breaking her own rules, and she kept them on the road ahead.
If she wasn't curious to hear what it was Christopher had so desperately to say to her, this secret he'd been harboring, Madison would have refused to see him. But he was persuasive and she thought she'd owed him that one last word.
Whatever he had to say, though, it didn't take away the fact that they had had a passionate night of sex. Yes, she felt guilty, overwhelmingly so, but she had enjoyed every second, and could not get the images of Christopher making love to her out of her mind. As they drove down the sunny highway, the scorching images played over and over in a loop through her mind. She couldn’t help herself, she still wanted him. Desperately. With a need that she wasn’t sure would ever go away.
But that doesn’t mean I have to act on it, she reminded herself sternly, trying to banish the memories, but it was impossible. She didn’t think she ever would be able to get him out of her system now.
Before too much longer, they were pulling onto an exit, off the freeway, and onto several back roads that became progressively less busy the farther out they drove. Through breaks in the trees she caught glimpses of a wide, watery expanse that just kissed the sunlit sky, and signed at the beauty of it all.
They arrived at his beach house. Madison followed him to the large front door. It opened out to a wide hallway. A lot of the furniture was covered in dust cloths and the air inside was stuffy and thick. The living room was vast—an open floor plan with French doors that opened out onto a patio at the back. He wrenched them open so they could breathe.
“I don't suppose there's much here in the way of a drink or any food,” he said. “But I'll see what there is.” He walked confidently to the large kitchen and started opening the refrigerator and cupboards.
Suddenly, the magnitude of what had happened hit her hard, and she turned towards him, her arms outstretched and pleading as she implored him.
“Stop!” Madison said and he immediately did, turning to her with a look of concern at the hard edge lacing her voice. “How can you be so casual about all of this? First of all – look at what we did. Christopher, you're a married man, and you're about to be a father. How can you act so calmly? Driving me out to the Hamptons like I'm your mistress or something.” She turned around, away from him, covering her mouth with a hand.
“Oh my god, I am your mistress.” She whispered. “Wait, if we only sleep together one night does that still make me your…your…” Madison couldn’t even force the terrible word out of her still open mouth and she turned back to him with wide, saddened eyes.
He rushed to her side, placing his strong hands on her arms. He looked deep into her troubled eyes, waiting to speak until she finally looked back up at him.
“No, Madison. That's not what this is about. You agreed to listen to what I have to say. I just thought being away from all the people involved, I'd find it easier to tell you and you might find it easier to hear.”
“Well, forget the refreshments and just tell me.” She tried hard to fight back another deluge of tears. Did she even want to hear what he had to say? Would it change anything? Of course not, she reminded that little bit of hope that refused to fade, that was still burning steadily inside her.
Silently, she gestured for him to continue, to explain what he had been so desperate to explain to her before.
He led her to the patio and they sat at the outdoor table that had been gathering dust and debris from the garden. It had not been cared for in a while, and the pool was covered over. Christopher leaned his elbows onto the table and looked down at his hands, suddenly avoiding her gaze and it made a flock of nerves explode inside her like a bunch of startled doves.
She was about to speak, to tell him to just forget them, to forget anything, when he finally spoke. Madison snapped her mouth shut with a click as she listened to his deep, rough voice and especially his softly spoken words as they washed over her.
“All of this has to do with Ailsa,” Christopher said. “Well, Ailsa and her father mainly, and the father of Ailsa's child.”
“You mean you, right?” Madison asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Wrong,” he said, finally looking her in the eye. “I'm not the father.”
Madison swallowed hard. “You're not? But...”
“I didn't get Ailsa pregnant. Her boyfriend did.”
“So you mean she cheated on you first? Is that what this has been about? You wanted revenge?”
“No, Madison,” He paused again, swiping a hand through his hair and leaving it mussed and curling wildly around his ears in the most distraction way. His words brought her attention back to his face. “Please listen to me. Let me explain.”
“I'm all ears.” Madison sat back in her chair, shaking her head. She couldn't understand what Christopher was saying. It wasn't making any sense.
“You see, Ailsa and I – we go way back. We've known each other since we were kids. We went to the same schools. By the time we got to college, we went our separate ways, but we still kept in touch one way or another.”
“But you must have gotten back together in a big way,” Madison said. “I mean, you're married for Christ's sake.”
“I know, I know, but that was…well, it’s complicated. Let’s just say it was me trying to do a favor for a friend. It’s not as gentlemanly as it sounds though, there was plenty in it for me. A lot in it for me, actually.”
“You mean you married Ailsa as a favor?” Madison's jaw dropped open in disbelief.
“Yes. Well, no. Yes and no,” he growled in frustration and Madison just waited for him to collect himself and continue with his story, hoping that he would answer her questions. She had a lot of them. “Ailsa came to me one night, and she was distraught. Crying, heartbroken. She found out she was pregnant and she was desperate.”
“The father ran off?”
“No, he didn't. Not exactly. More like Ailsa pushed him away.”
“So she didn't love him anymore?”
At this, Christopher just shrugged.
“She loved him, probably still does, but the only way she could get him out of her life was to tell him she'd stopped loving him. I know, sounds crazy, right? But that's where Ailsa's father comes into it. Have you heard of Baverstock Industries?”
“Of course. Who hasn't?” Madison said, shrugging her shoulders. “They own the largest pharmaceutical company in the U.S. and South America. That family must be worth...Christ, Ailsa is loaded.”
“Not only that,” said Christopher. “Her father has recently been trying to get into politics. You might have seen that he's
running for governor. He's got money and influence, and he'll probably make it. He's wanted to get into a position of power in the government for years. He tried once before, but had to pull out to settle some, shall we say, family business.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Madison looked at him with her dark eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he took a deep breath before continuing.
“I don't know if you know this, but Ailsa has a brother. He's older than her by a few years. And when Baverstock was running for governor back then, his son, Jack, got into all kinds of trouble. Drugs mainly. The thing was, he was using his father's company as a front to do his deals. When his father found out, Jack just disappeared.”
“You mean he's dead?”
“I don't think his father would have had him killed, he’s a mean old bastard, but he loves his kids. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but he did something to frighten him away. No one has seen or heard from Jack since. As you can imagine, his father took him out of his will. Now Ailsa stands to inherit everything. But...”
“But what?”
“It comes with a price.” Christopher swallowed hard and looked away briefly. “If she did anything to bring shame to the family, she'd probably end up going the same way as Jack,” Christopher paused again, looking out at the beach for a long moment before going on.
“Ailsa hasn't heard from her brother. She doesn't know where he is or if he's even alive. One of the people Jack worked with did end up dead – some freak accident. Somehow, Baverstock did away with anything pinning his son to drugs and money laundering. He just wiped it all out.”
“So,” Madison said, “what has any of this got to do with the father or Ailsa's child? Why would she make him leave her?”
Christopher shrugged again. He didn’t have an answer for that.
“Are you telling me that whoever the father of Ailsa's baby is, Mr. Baverstock didn't approve of him, and he'd want to get rid of him too?”
“You got it,” he said. “He was some biker dude Ailsa picked up on her travels. She'd been living her life like a virgin princess so she wouldn't disappoint her father, but after college she just went a little crazy and broke free. I think she met this guy in Rio. They had a fling, fell in love, and then the baby happened.”
“So why didn't she just stay away and have her baby?”
Christopher let out a deep sigh before answering. “It was Ailsa's mother. She begged Ailsa to come home. She didn't want her last remaining child to just drop off the face of the Earth like her son. Her mother drinks heavily, and it's only since Ailsa came back home that she's taken it easy with the booze.”
“My God. These people and all their money. You'd think they would be happy—they can get whatever they like. They never have to worry about anything.”
“That's not always the case. They say money can't buy you happiness, remember?”
“But what about you, Christopher? You're rich in your own right. Aren't you happy?”
Christopher stalled, thinking through his answer carefully before answering.
“There’s more to it. Like I said, I was doing a favor for a friend, but it was more than that. Several of the investments my company had made had turned south. We were going to lose a lot of money. Ailsa promised me a share of her inheritance, as well as a huge amount of stock in Baverstock Industries.” He shrugged again, this time a little embarrassed.
“I was happy enough, just getting on with my life. Then when Ailsa showed up, I said I'd help her out. It seemed like the perfect solution for both of us. We got married because she couldn't bring herself to get rid of the baby, and her father couldn't have an unmarried pregnant daughter around to ruin his reputation and his campaign for governor.”
“And you married her, not thinking about your own future or your own life?”
“Well, we had a deal, Ailsa and I. She signed over her share of the stocks to me, and we'd stay married for no more than a couple years. Just long enough for her father to get the job as governor and then we'd get the divorce. It seemed easy enough until...”
“You got cold feet?”
“No, silly. Until I saw you and I….” He stopped himself then, choking on the words and refusing to meet her questioning gaze.
Madison was sitting there, waiting to hear what he was going to say, but she thought she already knew, because she already felt the same way about him.
“Oh, Christopher. What are we going to do?” She whispered the question, not really expecting an answer.
“Ailsa knows, by the way,” Christopher said. “I told her weeks ago. She's actually quite happy for me.”
“But this is crazy. You said this would all make sense after you explained, but I have even more questions now than I did before.” Madison got up and walked towards the covered pool. She crossed her arms and stared out into the distance.
Christopher came and stood behind her, then wrapped his arms around her body. She sank back against him and closed her eyes, letting herself only feel him, trying desperately to shut off the continuous concerns voicing themselves over and over in her mind.
“I talked long and hard to Ailsa about this,” he said. “But I need to talk to you about what we discussed.”
“I can imagine, Christopher. You need to keep away from me, don't you? You need to let it look like the two of you are the real deal.” Madison turned away from him trying to avoid his dark, piercing gaze. It was like he could see all the way inside, see her heart breaking all over again. And still, there was that stupid little part of her that hoped. She should have known better.
“Yes that's true, but we also talked about finding a way for you and I to be together.”
Madison turned around, trying desperately to keep that small sliver of hope from growing too big at his words. How could they ever make something like this work without hurting one or both of them? Finally, she shook her head at him, hating the words that came out of her mouth but knowing that they had to be said.
“That's impossible, Christopher. How can you expect me to go around telling everyone my boyfriend is married for the next couple years, but his wife said it was okay to carry on screwing me until their divorce?”
Christopher turned her around fully until they were face to face, his strong arms warm were they snaked behind her back, holding her against his chest.
“Don't say it like that.”
“But that's exactly how it is.”
“What about…what about love, Madison?” His whispered softly over her cheek, as if he was afraid to say them with her looking at him, he said them like a secret spoken quietly in her ear. “What about the fact that I’m falling for you and I want you in my life?”
“But not at the cost of spoiling things for Ailsa.” Madison immediately shook her head, regretting the words that had just popped out. “Wait, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It can’t be an easy situation for either of you, but should I get in the middle of this?” She shook her head again, this time in despair. “Christopher, how could this possibly work?”
Christopher rubbed the back of his neck, struggling for an answer, then dropped his arms before answering. Madison felt the lack of his touch all the way to her toes and wrapped her arms around her waist. It was a poor replacement.
“I promised Ailsa. So much rides on this…her mother's health, Ailsa's future...I don’t want the same thing that happened to her brother to happen to her. He just…disappeared, Madison.”
“And what about us?” There was pain in Madison's voice as she forced the words out. “I think… I think I’m falling for you too, Christopher. I tried so hard not to, believe me, I really, really tried, but from the first time we met at that creepy diner I just couldn’t get you out of my head. And now you’re here too,” She took his hand and laid it gently over her chest, right above her racing heart. “I don’t think an affair would be enough for me, Christopher. I want something real with you.”
He stood there, staring down at her for a moment, a
nd then at his large hand still held over her heart. Slowly, he slid his hand up over her shoulder, up the side of her neck until he was framing her jaw with his warm fingers. He titled her head up making her meet his gaze.
“And I understand that. You're a good woman, Madison, and I don't want to take that away, but could you and I really keep our distance from each other for the next two years?” To emphasis his words, he pulled her closer until she was rising up on the tips of her toes, still staring up at him as his lips crashed into hers.
The kiss fired through her with all the force of a volcano erupting inside her, her head full of heat, and white noise, and him. Always him. Always Christopher. It was like he was a part of her now, and as his lips moved softly over hers she could feel her body melting bonelessly into his.
Gasping, she pulled back, her thoughts swirling back in a violent storm of doubts and wants, and above all, love. Like a shining, golden thing in her mind, she could almost see it. Taking a deep breath, she turned and cast her dark-eyed gaze out over the beach. She couldn’t think at all when she was looking at him.
Madison began to walk the length of the pool. It was her turn now to rub her hand over her neck. Christopher followed several steps behind her.
“It wasn't very fair,” she turned back to say to him. “I didn't know how big this secret was going to be. You should never have told me. You should have just stayed away. It would make things so much easier, so much simpler for both of us.”
“After last night!” He grabbed hold of Madison's elbows and pulled her to face him. “You think I could have a night like that with you and just walk away? It wasn’t…I’ve never.” He paused, taking a deep breath before he continued. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Madison. Nothing this strong, this intense. You’re all I can think about, I want to be near you all the time, I can’t…I don’t want to lose you.” He gave her a sad smile that ripped at her heart.
