by Tiana Cole
She watched the mother deer with her two babies and the idea that had popped into her head just moments ago refused to let go. Madison slid a trembling hand over her flat belly, watching the fawns frolic and play in the early morning mist as the nausea slowly left her.
By the time Christopher was back with her glass of water it had gone away completely. She smiled at him, trying to hide the uncertainty running through her like a river of ice freezing her veins. What would it mean? What would it change?
But Madison already knew the answer to that question. Everything.
They spent the next couple of days walking through the expansive grounds surrounding the big house and they explored the small forest beyond those areas. Madison was glad to be out in the fresh air because the house, as grand as it was, was very dusty, and each of the next two mornings, she had that feeling of nausea in her stomach, although she had not thrown up again.
Christopher dropped Madison off at her apartment late at night. But once he had driven off, she popped over to an all-night convenience store and bought a pregnancy test.
Chapter 9
Madison had just accompanied her patient up to the OR after her delivery of a large baby boy was causing complications. The woman needed a c-section, and she wanted Madison to hold her hand as she was taken up two floors to the operating suite.
“I'm going to leave you in daddy's capable hands,” Madison said, as she tried to pry the woman's fingers out of hers and hand her over to her husband. “These are the best surgeons in the world, and in a few minutes, you'll be holding your baby in your arms.”
“Thank you for everything,” the woman said. Her husband was almost in tears, and Madison watched the doors to the OR close as she waved her patient off.
As she was coming back to the maternity wing and before she could get back to the delivery room, Madison noticed another commotion going on.
“What is it?” Madison asked the nurse on reception.
“Ailsa Knight – she's just been rushed in with labor pains.”
“No, that's too soon,” Madison said as her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach, desperately looking along the corridor where a doctor was rushing to one of the private rooms. “She's only six months along.”
Madison found her feet walking in the same direction as the doctor and she'd opened the door before she could stop herself. She saw Ailsa, her face contorted in pain, as the doctor examined her stomach. Christopher was right beside her, squeezing her hand.
“It's all right A, you'll be all right,” he kept saying to her in a gentle voice.
Just as Madison backed out of the room, Christopher looked up at her. He looked drained and sad as he blinked deeply and turned his eyes back to Ailsa.
Madison walked slowly back to the delivery suite, secretly praying that Ailsa and her baby would be all right. By the time she had returned back, Madison had thought about how Christopher and Ailsa looked together. So close and very much like a couple. Visually they suited each other and, anyone could see, just by meeting them once, that they had a special bond.
Madison tried not to think about it as she went back to her work. But when she got to the end of her shift, she was feeling jealous that Ailsa had Christopher to hold her hand, to comfort her in that gentle way of his. She knew that tender voice well. She felt ashamed that she was envious, especially as Ailsa was obviously frightened by what might be happening to her but she could feel that emotion trying to grab a hold of her. Viciously, she pushed it down as she tried to focus her mind back on the long night still ahead of her.
The rest of her shift was blessedly calm. A mother came in to deliver her baby about midway and everything went by the book. Madison was grateful there weren’t many more complications that she would have to face that night, and she was tired but satisfied by the time she was ready to leave for the night.
Before leaving for home, Madison could not resist going back to Ailsa's room just to check on her and to reassure herself that everything was, in fact, still alright, but she was stopped as soon as she got to the reception desk to grab her things and clock out for the night.
“Madison!” The nurse she'd spoken to earlier about Ailsa's condition was leaving too. “Did you hear about Ailsa Knight?”
“No,” she said. “I've been too busy... Why? What happened?”
“Don't look so worried,” the nurse said. “She's fine. It was something she'd eaten earlier. That's all.” Both she and the nurse had walked out of the hospital, but Madison kept looking over her shoulder at the private room Ailsa was in.
“Yes,” the nurse went on. “Apparently Mrs. Knight is a vegetarian and took to craving a hamburger of all things. Hubby obliged, and hours later, her stomach was objecting to all that red meat.”
“So, it was nothing to do with the baby?” Madison was relieved.
“No, the baby was fine. I saw the scan myself. Her husband was destroyed at first. The whole family came. Ailsa's mom and pops. Money dripping off all of them, you know? And that husband of hers is drop-dead gorgeous. The father was making a big fuss outside when they left, and the press were out in full, taking pictures while Ailsa was leaving.”
“Christopher took her home?” Madison said, trying to sound like she was making small talk, but she really wanted to know all the details.
“I believe they all went back to the Baverstock Mansion – the mother insisted.”
“I should get home myself, it’s been a long night,” Madison said with a backwards wave as she headed for the exit. “See ya!”
Madison rushed away, but caught sight of Christopher's car parked a little way down the street. She looked over her shoulder to see where the other nurse had gone, and spotted her getting into a waiting car not too far from the entrance. Madison waited until she was sure that her coworker was well away before approaching the familiar dark car.
“Christopher? Why are you still here? You should be with Ailsa, I’m sure she’s still terrified by that scare earlier.” Madison bent down and looked into the passenger seat window. As always, seeing him sent a secret thrill all the way through her, as if it had been years rather than a few hours since the last time she had seen him. She couldn’t help the small smile that tried to curl her lips despite the hectic night.
“Get in,” he said hurriedly.
She took one last look around the parking lot before grabbing the passenger door handle. She threw it open and got in, looking Christopher as if he were crazy. “You really should be with Ailsa, you know?”
“Ailsa is perfectly fine. She and her mother are having a long girly chat and they sent me away. I said I was worn out by the stress of this evening, and they told me I should get some air or go for a drive.” He started the engine.
“So why come back here?” Madison asked, as they pulled away.
“I saw you earlier. I don't know, I needed to see you. To talk to you. I just couldn't stop thinking about you.”
“You were all I thought about all evening,” she whispered softly back to him. “You and Ailsa.”
Christopher stopped the car. They had driven as far as the diner Madison had taken him to the first time they'd met for breakfast. They sat in the parking lot with the engine still idling, the warm air from the heater keeping away the chill of the cool night. Christopher must have heard the hidden edge to Madison’s words because he was turning in his seat so he could look at her face to face. “What do you mean?” he said.
“It was just the way you were together.” Madison paused, struggling to find the right words to explain her feelings to him, when she wasn’t even completely sure of what they were herself. “I just felt a little shut out.”
“Don't say that, Madison. Ailsa was terrified. We didn't know what was wrong. We thought it was the baby.”
“I know, I know. And it was right, you were right to be there. I know that she needs you,” she said slowly. “It's just that...”
“What?”
“You two together. Seeing you
both. You looked so much like a real couple, I got...well, I felt like I was just someone on the outside looking in.”
“Never, Madison. That's just not the way it is.” Christopher reached out and grabbed her hand, enveloping it in both of his. They sat like that for a moment, just holding hands. Madison was touched at the simple sweetness that flowed through her at the tender look in his eyes.
Christopher looked over at the diner and then back at Madison. “They're open. I could do with a coffee right now. Should we?”
“Okay. Coffee sounds good.” She pulled her lips into a half smile.
They were the only people in the diner. The waitress poured coffee without a smile. Christopher put his hands onto Madison's. They sat staring into each other's eyes across the small table.
“You know Ailsa and I are close, Madison,” Christopher eventually said, still trying to put her worries and fears to rest. “We're like brother and sister. I'm all she has now.”
Madison put her head down, but Christopher lifted her chin up. “Don't be sad. We knew it was never going to be easy. Do you think you can hang in there for me? We'll ride this out, and one day, we'll be together forever.”
At last, Madison smiled. “I just can't wait. I miss you so much when I go home on my own.”
The waitress came back and asked if they wanted to order anything, interrupting the conversation, and they both declined. Christopher reached back over the table and grabbed her hands in both of his, staring at them.
He couldn’t help but notice the differences between them, how small and delicate hers were compared to his large ones. The darkness of her skin a vibrant contrast to his own paler skin. They looked so right there, entwined together. Everything just felt so right, so much better, when Madison was in his world.
It was like he knew that they were meant to be and the thought tightened his chest as he looked up, his gaze colliding with hers and he could read every thought, every emotion that flitted across her face. She was so honest with how she was feeling, and every time he was with her he felt blessed that they had met.
They drank their coffee in silence, not needing any more words to be spoken between them, and left, still holding hands.
Chapter 10
When Madison walked into the hospital two days later, it was late afternoon and she noticed that everyone on the staff were looking at her and they all seemed to be whispering something. She thought it strange that no one actually said, 'Hello', or 'Hi, Madison.' They all gave her embarrassed grins and backed away.
She saw her supervisor, Amanda, who beckoned with the crook of her finger for Madison to follow her into her office.
“What's the matter with everyone today?” Madison asked with a nervous smile, the looks and whispers making her feel uneasy as she walked closer to Amanda’s desk. “Is it just me, or is everyone acting weird?”
“Sit down, Madison,” Amanda said, and the serious tone of her turned Madison’s blood cold. She reached to her side and picked up a newspaper which she placed onto her desk. Madison looked down at it and then up at Amanda, puzzled.
“Wait,” Madison exclaimed. “They're not shutting down the maternity wing, are they? Am I out of a job? Is that what all the whispering is about, Amanda?”
“No, that's not it,” said Amanda, opening the newspaper to a particular page. “Everyone has seen this morning's Post. There are pictures of you in here, Madison.”
Madison rose quickly from her chair and leaned across her supervisor's desk. From the upside-down position, she could make out shadowy shots of herself and Christopher. She went around to the side to get a better view, not even sure where the pictures were taken. She saw they were from that night that Ailsa had been rushed to the hospital, that night they had had coffee together at the diner.
The first was of her leaning into Christopher's car outside the hospital; there was one of her and Christopher walking into the diner side by side; another two of them inside, holding hands and smiling; and one of them leaving the diner, holding hands.
“My God,” Madison said, stepping backwards and sitting back down hard on the chair. “How did they...?”
“Do you want to explain to me why you're out with one of our patient's husbands, Madison?” Amanda asked. “And how on Earth do they know your name, where you live – everything?”
“I don't know how they know all that.” Madison snatched the paper from Amanda's desk and hurriedly read a few of the lines, her heart sinking with every word.
“I remember seeing a man at the diner,” Madison said, her voice dazed and distant. She couldn’t believe this had happened. “I had no idea he had a camera. I don't get why they know so much about me. Why would they even follow us?”
“For a story. There were tons of cameras here yesterday. Baverstock is big business. His daughter is well-known. You should choose your boyfriends better, Madison. I'm surprised at you.”
Madison lowered her head at the censor in her supervisor’s voice, and returned the paper to the desk.
“And everyone knows?” Madison said softly, not looking up. Embarrassment flooded through in a hot, uncomfortable wave, as if her skin were too tight. How was she going to face everyone, her patient’s, her coworkers, especially Cassie?
“You know what this place is like. You can't hide a thing.”
“This isn't how it looks, Amanda. I'm not some kind of home wrecker.” There was more the story, but she had promised not to tell Christopher’s secrets, or Ailsa’s. Now that she knew what was at stake, she couldn’t take that risk. She couldn’t tell anyone. She would just have live with every one thinking she was Christopher Knight’s mistress.
“Well, how do you think it looks, Madison? Did you know this Christopher Knight before he got married or something?” she said, not unkindly, but Madison could hear the stern disapproval in her normally temperate voice.
“No.” Madison looked down at the floor and slowly back up at Amanda. “I just met him when they first came to the hospital.”
“But, Madison, you were the one with all the morals. How could you let it happen?” Amanda sounded like a mother disappointed in her daughter.
“We fell in love, Amanda.” She looked at her supervisor, blinking, trying hard not to cry as the reality of the situation crashed down on her, her heart pounding in her chest. “I have to leave, I have to get out of here. This is going to cause a whole lot of repercussions.”
“I'm not surprised. What will his wife say? Worse. What will her father do?”
“I have no idea,” Madison said, and bit her lip. “One thing for certain is I have to get out of this hospital. I can't stay here to work. That would be impossible.”
“Don't be over dramatic, Madison. I'm sure it will blow over. But you have to stop seeing him. You know that, don't you?”
“I know. But this is their hospital. This is where Ailsa is having her baby. I need to get out. I give you my notice, Amanda.” The words came out all in a stream but even as she said it, Madison knew it was true. She couldn’t stay there. It would be torture, not just for her, but for Christopher and Ailsa too. Even though Madison knew that Ailsa knew and understood, and eve approved of her and Christopher’s relationship, she also knew that no else would understand that. And she couldn’t explain.
No, the only answer was to leave, and right away.
Amanda shook her head and stared at Madison a long time as the thoughts swirled around madly in her head. What would she do next? The truth was that she loved her job, and loved working at City Hospital. Her heart was breaking at the thought of having to leave. But it was the right thing. The only thing.
“Look,” Amanda eventually said, her words soft, and this time kinder as she reached out and patted Madison on the shoulder. “I'll make some calls. A friend of mine works at St. James's, across town.”
Madison’s head immediately came up at the other woman’s generous offer.
“The private maternity hospital?”
“Yes. Why the Knigh
t's didn't go there in the first place, I don't know.” Amanda commented and her voice echoed in the room. “Would have saved a lot of heartache. None of this would have happened.”
Madison's shoulders sagged as she leaned forward in her seat. She knew Amanda was right, but she didn't know how her life would be without ever having loved Christopher. As much as it hurt right now, they would get through this, and she couldn’t regret having met him, fallen in love with him. She wouldn’t change that for anything, even if it would have saved her the heartbreak and embarrassment that this situation had caused.
“I'll make a call,” Amanda said. “I spoke to my friend a few days ago, and they are looking for a few nurses now that the place has expanded.”
“You really think you could get me a job there?” Madison looked as though she had been pulled from a stormy sea. She was drowning in fear of the consequences of this story getting out. The headlines were full of accusations of an affair, of secret rendezvous, and of the poor pregnant wife.
“I'll see what I can do,” Amanda said. “In the meantime, I think you should make yourself scarce today. Go home. I'll call you when I know something.”
Madison stood, slowly.
“You're saving my life, Amanda, you know that?”
“I haven't gotten you the job yet. Sit tight at home and I'll be in touch.”
Madison took a deep, calming breath before she ducked out of Amanda’s cramped office. Luckily, the hallway was empty as she quickly made her way to the nurse’s station to gather her things for the last time.
Tears of sadness pricked at the corner of each eye. Madison had worked at that hospital for years, had come to know and be friends with so many of her coworkers, she had so many great memories. Sadness washed over her at the thought that it was all over.
After she was finished clearing up the last of her things, she tried to leave the hospital quickly and with her head down. She didn’t think she could face anyone right now. In the corridor, she bumped into someone, and hastily turned to apologize before hurrying on, but was stopped when she saw two familiar faces, Cassie and Rosario.
