“What happened? Did you do somethin’ to her?” It pisses me off that he would even ask me that, but a part of me is glad to know she has someone like him watching her back to make sure no one hurts her. Yet I’m in no mood to deal with this shit; to be accused of hurting any woman, let alone my Angel.
“What the fuck, brother? No, I didn’t do anything. She’s the one who lied to me and fucked everything up,” I yell, knowing I’m the one who’s lying.
Angel…or Angelica…whatever the fuck she’s going by, has done nothing wrong. So what if she moved hundreds of miles away from home and is making a living by removing her clothes for perverted men? Thinking of one of them touching her, or her allowing them to touch her makes me shake with rage. I don’t even want to know how many men she’s taken into a back room like she did with me, but instead of delivering a low blow like she just gave me, giving them something a little more pleasurable.
She shouldn’t be working in a place like this. She’s angelic, like her name, and doesn’t need to lower herself to these standards. I don’t care that it’s my club. Maybe it’s because I know it’s my club and what type of men we are that makes me want to shield her from it all. She needs to be in a nice town where there’s no violence, working as a school teacher or some shit, married to some square asswipe who only fucks her missionary style.
Thinking that, of her living that life, has me grinding my teeth so hard, I can almost feel them chipping.
Leroy crosses his arms and stares at me hard, bringing me back to what it is I need to do now. “What do you mean she lied and fucked shit up? What the hell’s goin’ on?” he demands, pissed that he has no clue what just went down behind closed doors.
He’s the type of man who’s precise and always in the know. Always one step ahead of the game and everyone playing it. This must be driving him up the wall. Well, welcome to the club, brother.
“I don’t have time to explain right now. Just tell me where she is,” I demand, needing to see her.
Sighing heavily, he says, “She took a cab home. I don’t know what the fuck happened, but I do know that it sent her hightailin’ it outta here like her ass was on fire. She didn’t even wait for her friend, Amy, to be done.”
Upset that she left and I missed my chance to talk this out with her, have her explain what she’s doing here and not back home in Illinois, the adrenalin I was feeling moments ago deflates my body. I feel tired. The past month is catching up with me it seems, and her shock to my system sent my flying into a downward spiral.
But something he said piques my interest. “Amy?” Maybe I could talk to her, figure out what she knows. Or fuck, maybe get her to tell me where Angel lives so I can show up on her doorstep. I wouldn’t leave until she told me everything I want to know.
“Yeah, brother. They’re friends. Came in one night, curious I suppose, and the next day they were back asking for a job. I think they live together.”
Interesting. I don’t know how long she’s been here, but even if it was right after I met her, the fact that she already has a friend and roommate is surprising. I’m not saying that it’s impossible, but around here, I would’ve guessed she’d shy away from people, found an apartment on the quieter side of town and worked as a hostess in a small restaurant.
I’m glad she has someone here that she can trust. It makes me feel better, knowing that someone other than my brothers here support her.
I’m eager to meet this girl, not only to make sure she’s good enough to be friends with my Angel, but to see if I can pump her for information. Maybe I can sweet talk her into taking me home with her so I can corner Angel, force her to talk to me.
“She still here?” I ask. I don’t want to, but if I have to, I’ll go right to Bear and get her address. I’ll tell him it’s important or something. He may force me to tell him what’s going on, but he’ll give me the information I want sooner or later.
“Uh, yeah. I think. I haven’t seen her leave yet.” If I want to catch Amy, I need to make my move now.
Heading in the direction of the girls’ dressing room, I debate if I should just walk in or knock. I know Leroy has no problem walking in there without announcement, but since I don’t really work here as much as the others do, I feel like I should wait until I know they’re all decent.
Deciding to forego knocking, I go with walking in, but hold my head down so I’m not looking. I figure that’s a compromise on either of my options.
“Amy? I’m lookin’ for Amy. Is she here?” I ask to no one in particular. I didn’t even think to ask Leroy if he knew her last name.
“I’m Amy,” I hear a girl say with attitude.
Looking up, I see a woman with bright red hair and a fiery expression on her face. It’s almost like she hates me already, without even knowing who I am.
Well, that’s probably not true. If she’s friends with Angel, she probably does know me, or about me at least. I’m not sure that’s good.
“You’re Amy, friend and roommate to Angel?” I ask, needing to be positive I have the right girl.
“What’s it to you?” she asks, crossing her arms and cocking her hip out like women do when they’re getting ready to thrown-down.
If it was any other day, or if I wasn’t so caught up in another girl, I’d find her attitude sexy. She’s smokin’ hot, and has a mouth that would make a man’s head spin. I bet she gives good head.
Shaking my head from that thought, I match her stance, minus cocking my hip. Only women do that shit. But I’m not going to let some girl keep me from what I want, and right now, that’s finding my Angel.
“I need to speak to her, and Leroy told me she left already.” I can see the surprise on her face, but it’s only for a split second before she covers it up. I guess Leroy hadn’t gotten a chance to tell her that tidbit yet.
“Yeah, well, if she left, it was because of you. What’d you do to her?” If looks could kill, I’d be six feet under. But she’s not the only one getting pissed off. That’s the second person to ask me what I did and insinuated that I hurt Angel, and I’ve had about enough. Leroy knew better, and this bitch doesn’t know me from Joe Fucknut sitting out in the bar, drooling over these girls. With one look at my cut, she should know that’s not what I’m about. It’s not what any of us are about.
Gritting my teeth and closing my eyes, I take a moment to calm down. I don’t need to get into a bitch fight with this chick. I need her to tell me what I need to know.
When I feel like I’m not going to blow my lid on her, I open my eyes and glare at her. Probably not the best way to get on her good side, but at this point, I can’t control my frustration.
“I didn’t do anything to her. She gave me some information that took me by surprise, then left without giving me time to recover and talk to her about it. I just need to speak to her. Can you help me or not?”
Amy stands there and stares me down for a long time. Long enough that I’m almost ready to say fuck this shit and go talk to Bear. Before I can do that, her stance deflates and I know I have her.
“Yeah, I was afraid she’d chicken out and do something like that. I’m just happy she finally told you,” she says. It tells me she knows who I am and my history with Angel. I want to feel pissed that she knew everything before I did, but I just don’t have it in me right now.
“Will you please tell me where y’all live so I can go talk to her? You could even get her to meet me if you aren’t comfortable with me knowin’ where you live.” I’d be willing to do just about anything if it meant seeing Angel again. I wouldn’t be happy about the long way around it, but I’d be okay with it. For the time being, at least.
“Oh, we don’t live together. Well, not in the same apartment, but she’s my neighbor. If you can wait while I grab my things, I’ll take you there. I’ll even act as a referee if needed, to make sure she doesn’t shove out on you again.” She laughs at
her own comment, then turns around to grab her things.
Not even a minute passes and she’s ready to go.
On the way out, she whispers, “Fuck.”
I groan, thinking she probably forgot something, which means I’ll have to wait even longer. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I forgot to call a cab to be ready for me. Do you mind waiting while I get one over here? It shouldn’t take but a few minutes.”
I don’t usually allow chicks to ride on my bike, but I’ll make an exception since she’s helping me out. It’s only right I do the same for her.
“Why don’t you hop on the back of my bike. It’ll be faster and save you some money.” I have no idea how much a cab is these days, but it can’t be cheap.
“If you’re sure?” She phrases it like a question, not a statement.
“Yeah. Come on, I’m parked over here.”
The ride is a little awkward because I’m not used to anyone riding behind me. Also, because I have to drive a little slower than usual so she can yell directions over my shoulder until we finally make it to their apartment building. At least it’s in a good part of town. Not the best, but definitely not the worst.
Dismounting from my bike as soon as I park and shut the ignition off, I wait for her to follow suit.
“Thanks for the ride.” She heads toward the front door. “Come on. It’s this way.”
Following her up the stairs, I look at each door, wondering which one is hers.
When she stops right before we reach the end of the hall with the last two doors, she turns to me. “Why don’t you wait out here for a minute. Let me talk to her and warm her up to talking to you. Otherwise, she’ll freeze you out.”
Nodding, since she’s probably right, I lean against the wall and prop my foot on the wall behind me. I wish I could light a cigarette, but I’m sure it’s not allowed in here.
Fuck it.
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my smokes and light one up. It’s late, so hopefully no one will notice or complain. If they do, they can kiss my ass.
While I stand out here and wait for Amy to talk to Angel, I check my phone a million times, looking at the time. I smoke three cigarettes and download a stupid ass game to play to keep myself from kicking the door in and saying, “Ready or not, here I come.”
I don’t know what they’re talking about, but I can hear their loud voices through the door. They are yelling at each other, probably about me being here. But I’m about at my breaking point. I’m not going to stand out here all night. I didn’t come here to be turned away. She’s going to talk to me tonight and explain, whether she likes it or not.
The game I downloaded is only pissing me off, and just as I’m about ready to throw the damn thing—phone and all—at the wall across from me, the door to my right opens and out walks Amy, looking drained from their fight, but pleased.
Standing up straight, I meet her by the door and try to hide my nervousness.
I don’t know where the feeling came from, as I’m not one to get nervous easily, or at all, but I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. It’s foreign to me, but I know what it is.
“She’s ready for you,” she says before stepping aside, allowing me entrance.
Before I even take a step over the threshold, Amy grabs my arm. If she was a man, we’d have a problem, but I give her a get-out-of-jail free card since she’s helping me.
“Just be patient with her. You showing up surprised her just as much as finding out who she is surprised you. You have no reason to be upset with her, in all honesty. She only saw you last night, and it’s not like you “know” each other. She told you so you’d know, that’s it. Not to get at you or anything like that, okay?” She turns and walks the few feet to the door across from Angel’s and goes inside, closing the door quietly behind her.
Walking inside Angel’s apartment, I close the door behind me and take a look at my surroundings. The apartment is small and in need of some major updates, but it looks homey. Just the type of place I imagined Angel living in. It suits her.
Speaking of Angel, I find her standing against the wall farthest from me, in what I think is the living room. It’s hard to tell since the floor plan is open, but a small couch is right beside her, so I think I’m safe with my guess.
She’s glaring at me and is completely closed off, which doesn’t surprise me. I knew she wouldn’t make this easy, but at least she allowed me to come in. I wonder what Amy said to her, and if she had to bribe or threaten her to get her to see me. Not like it matters either way, but I am curious.
“What made you think it was okay to drop that bomb on me and walk out like that? Would it have killed you to stay and let me apologize?”
Her nostrils flare as she takes a step toward me. I’m sure she means it as a threatening move, but she’s like a small pussycat compared to me. “Actually, I thought you’d shrug it off and thank your lucky stars that you didn’t waste too much of your time on me. You know, since I’m just the “Preacher’s Daughter,” she spits out. “I figured you’d go out and pick up another girl. One more your type,” she says bitterly.
It stings a little that this is what she thinks of me, but I suppose I didn’t give her anything to show her otherwise. I was a complete asshole to her, even after what she did for me, covering for me with the cops. As I told her that night, it was unnecessary, but even as I did for her, I need to recognize that she did for me as well when she didn’t have to.
“Besides, it’s not like you tried to stop me from leaving that room,” she adds a few seconds later. Do I sense a little sadness in her voice about not chasing after her?
Laughing harshly, I say, “You didn’t give me time to! You can’t just say somethin’ like that and expect me to string together a coherent thought. You blew my mind, and not just with what you said. You’re fuckin’ amazing, and I can’t help but get worked up after seeing you dance for me.”
I’m not fucking made of steel, at least not in a situation like that. She could’ve cut me some slack. I would never have guessed she was going to tell me what she did tonight. Sure, I probably would have figured it out eventually, but I’m not a mind reader. I’ve been through a lot of shit these past few months, but I’m a fucking idiot for not recognizing who she was. She’s been the star of my fantasies since I first saw her. How could I look at her and not know it?
“Whatever,” she scoffs, then says, “But it’s not like it really matters anyway. You made yourself perfectly clear and had your mind made up about me when we first met. I appreciate you saving me then, as well as last night too. But you took one look at me and figured you had me made. You didn’t care to find out who I was as a person, or thank me for what I did for you. I could have gone to jail for helping you!” By the time she finishes, she’s screaming mad. I am too.
“Thank you? Are you insane? You never should’ve done it. I didn’t need your help. They didn’t have jack shit on me, and would’ve released me when I didn’t give them anything.”
“Yeah, well, what’s done is done. But that doesn’t change the fact that you judged me before you even knew my name. You assumed that I wanted you, when that’s not what was going on at all. I only wanted to thank you for saving me, and you threw the fact that my father is a preacher in my face and made up your mind that I’m some spoiled little goodie two-shoes brat.”
The volume of her voice has gone down a bit, and I can just barely hear a hint of sadness. It’s faint, but it’s there, and it has me wanting to kick my own ass from here to next month.
She’s right. I did judge her because of who I knew her daddy to be. But that doesn’t change the fact that she is the preacher’s daughter. I walked away that night for her, not because she wasn’t good enough for me. I’m the one not good enough for her. She shouldn’t even be in the same state as me, let alone in the same city.
I’m a bad man. I break the law daily and
I enjoy it. I’ve killed more people than I can even remember, let alone count with ten sets of hands. I’ve done drugs and still do from time to time, and I enjoy it all. I could never be what she needs me to be, even if I wanted to change.
Knowing this isn’t going how I wanted it to, and that there’s no way out of this mess, I turn around to leave. But before I walk out the door, I leave her to think about this.
“You’re the definition of innocent. You’re pure and good, beautiful, and so full of passion. You’re one of the few things that God got right, if there is a God.” Turning around to look at her one more time before leaving her, I add, “I may not have known everything there is to know about you, but preacher’s daughter aside, you need to stay away from me.”
I don’t know when I became a martyr or sentimental, but everything I said is the truth. She’s too good for someone like me, and if I do what I’ve been fantasizing about, I’ll ruin her. The demons inside me would be too much for her.
Chapter Eleven
Angel
After he leaves, I stand there and stare at the closed door. A voice is screaming inside my head for me to run after him, to say something—anything to him, but I stay rooted to my spot, unable to move.
I’m still pissed at him for what he’s done, calling me what everyone else has called me my whole life. It hurt. It cut me deep, and I’m not sure I can forgive him for that.
When you see a person, whether you’ve spent copious amounts of time with them or didn’t even say one word to them, you shouldn’t label them. You shouldn’t write them off and assume you know everything there is to know about them. Chances are, the things you think you see may be wrong. People sure as heck shouldn’t be denied or punished for things that are outside of their control.
Tired of thinking about it, I strip off my clothes. Well, undergarments, since I didn’t change before I got in the cab. I bet the cab driver enjoyed his free show, but I didn’t care. I only wanted to get home so I could digest the events of the night.
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