There were no nearby trash cans, so he shoved the last of the bacon into his mouth and set the box aside for now. Then he leaned back in his seat, tilting his chin up. It was another clear, beautiful day. The sky above him was deep blue and unobscured by clouds or birds. It was hotter than it’d been yesterday, but he knew from experience that wouldn’t last for long. Wind that bore the jasmine perfume and the indescribable smell of a new school year ruffled his hair.
Students ambled through the quad in groups of twos and threes. Tempted as Nick was to people-watch until it was time for class, he decided against it. After what had happened yesterday, he’d learned a valuable lesson about making eye contact with strangers.
Digging in his bag again, Nick pulled out one of the few possessions he’d brought with him from Chicago: his sketchbook. He was a complete and utter amateur who was convinced of his own mediocrity, but it was a fun hobby. It helped to clear his head when he had something troubling on his mind.
He flipped to a new page—one of few left in the worn book—and pulled a mechanical pencil out of his bag. For a moment, he paused with the lead suspended an inch above the surface of the page. Then, a subject popped into his brain as if planted there. He began to sketch, and within a minute, he had the rough outline of a pair of eyes.
Hard as he tried to tell himself they weren’t any eyes in particular, he knew who they belonged to. The gray pencil lead made it even harder to deny.
You’re forbidden to think about him. Come up with something else. Class. Deen. The town.
The latter subject inspired a sigh. Between classes yesterday, Nick had ventured off campus to scope out what was nearby. The heart of Evanston was too far away to walk, but his trip around the neighboring area had confirmed his worst fear. There was nothing fun to do. Evanston might technically be a city, but it was nothing compared to Chicago. To Nick, it was like a scale model of what a city should be.
There were no twenty-four-hour coffee places, no skyscrapers, and hardly any public transportation. Nick didn’t hate it, but it was going to take some getting used to. There was nothing quite like the frenetic energy of Chicago in the summer, whereas this place was more like an old cat napping on a hot front porch.
When he’d first decided to transfer to the Academy, he’d thought a change of scenery would be good for him, but now it was making him homesick. He never thought he’d miss the noise of the city, or the smell of car exhaust, and pavement so molten he could feel it through the soles of his shoes.
It was too clean here. Too quiet. It gave him far too much time to think.
Which was how his thoughts ended up cycling right back to Sebastian, their strange encounter, and the new “friends” he’d made yesterday. It still weirded him out that people had spotted Sebastian and him talking. Like they were paparazzi hunting for celebrities. He was used to being invisible: one more face in an overpopulated urban sprawl. But here, it seemed someone was always watching.
Luckily, it didn’t seem as though Angela and Minho had seen Sebastian get up close and personal with him. If they had, how would Nick have explained that? For once, he knew the answer: he wouldn’t have been able to. Sebastian was a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, and a giant pain in Nick’s ass.
“Stop fixating,” he muttered to himself. “You need to get over it. A weirdo acted weird. That’s what they do. Move on.”
Easier said than done. The more he thought about Sebastian, the more he wondered how he’d thought Sebastian wasn’t all that cute at first. Sebastian’s look was classic, and he had this muted energy that buzzed all around him. It’d intensified when he locked eyes with Nick, and spiked when they touched.
There was a good chance he’d never know why Sebastian had “welcomed” him. Hell, he might never see Sebastian again. It wasn’t as if they ran in the same circle. From the sound of things, Sebastian was a popular guy, and Nick was a nobody. Honestly, if he had his way, he’d stay that way. He didn’t want to make a splash. Just get a few good friends, make some memories, and survive until graduation.
He got the feeling the Academy was like a fishbowl. Everyone within it thought it was the entire world. They had no concept of the big ocean that was out there, or the hardships that awaited once adulthood forced you to swim into it. Anyone who knew what it was like to take care of themself wouldn’t waste time gossiping.
You’re being a little harsh. It’s been two days. Give the Academy a chance. Besides, Deen goes here, and you like him. It can’t be all bad.
Nick heard footsteps nearby—probably someone walking past on their way to class. He didn’t look up from his sketch as he added fine, individual eyelashes to one of the gray eyes.
A second later, the footsteps stopped, and a shadow was cast across his sketch.
Without thinking, Nick said, “You’re blocking my light.”
There was a pause. Then, a familiar voice made the hair on Nick’s nape stand up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
Nick jerked his head up. Sebastian Prinsen was standing next to the picnic table. He was dressed in a simple black T-shirt and jeans, and yet the clothing fit him so well, it seemed like a fashion statement. Nick had always been attracted to men who were muscular, but looking at Sebastian now, in all his tall, wiry glory, he had to rethink his preferences.
While Nick struggled to remember what words were, Sebastian flashed an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean to block your light. I’m an artist as well, so I understand how important it is. What are you sketching?”
He leaned over, as if to look at Nick’s drawing. Nick quickly covered it with his hands and stared at him with wide eyes. “It’s not finished.”
If Sebastian thought his evasiveness was odd, he didn’t comment. “Fair enough. I’m Sebastian, by the way. We met yesterday.”
Nick’s blood throbbed in his ears. All the times he’d imagined running into Sebastian again, he’d never thought it would be so . . . casual. Tame.
He blurted out, “I know who you are.”
The second he said it, he wanted to bite his tongue, but Sebastian looked inexplicably pleased. “Oh? Did you ask around about me?”
Nick stepped right over that. “What are you doing here?”
“I go to school here.” Sebastian looked Nick over, as if he were checking him for signs of trauma. “Remember?”
“I know that. I mean, what are you doing here”—he indicated the picnic table—“talking to me?”
“Am I not allowed to?”
Much as his insides warmed at the mere sight of Sebastian, he was loath to let his excitement show. He shrugged. “Free country, I guess.”
For the past day, Nick had been asking himself a question without really asking it: Did he want to run into Sebastian again? The rational side of him had said no, especially now that he knew Sebastian’s reputation for partying and playing with people’s feelings. But now that the man himself was standing in front of Nick, his rational side had fallen silent.
Didn’t mean he was going to make things easy for Sebastian though. Nick was not going to fall for the whole handsome, charming, rich thing.
Easier said than done.
Instead of being deterred by Nick’s brush-off, Sebastian’s smile came back full force. It looked good on him. He eyed the empty seat next to Nick as if he was contemplating taking it, but mercifully, he didn’t. “How was your first day at the Academy?”
It was an innocent enough question, but Nick answered with caution. “It was fine.”
“Do you like it here so far?”
“It’s nice enough.”
“Hm.” Sebastian wet his lips. “Not very talkative, huh? I thought as much yesterday, but then I wondered if I scared you off by coming on so strong. You’re not shy, are you?”
Ah. So, he was flirting with me. There’s one mystery solved.
Nick was tempted to be blunt and address the elephant in the room by name. But then, he didn’t really know what Sebastian’s intentions were. If Sebastian wa
s just making conversation, then Nick might ruin a potential friendship with a well-liked student before it began. That wouldn’t be a stellar way to start off the year.
On the other hand, he couldn’t picture himself being friends with Sebastian. Something about him—his mannerisms, or the sharp glint in his eyes—both put Nick off and pulled him in. Like a moth who knew he was flying toward fire.
In the end, Nick headed for the middle ground. “I’m not shy. But I think a fruit basket would have been a more appropriate way to welcome me, you know?”
Sebastian chuckled. “You’re funny. I like people with quick tongues.” His smile grew downright wicked. “Is yours good with more than just words?”
Wow, this guy really is a flirt.
“I’m told I can whistle pretty well,” Nick said flatly. “Do you need something? I have class soon. I can’t sit around and chat all day.”
To his surprise, Sebastian rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “That was too much, wasn’t it?”
Nick blinked at him. “Well . . . yeah, to be honest. Unless being tactless was your goal.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so forward, today or earlier. I saw you staring at me yesterday, and then when you did it again in the dining hall, I thought . . .” His gaze dropped down to his shoes. “Well, I wanted to introduce myself and see if maybe there was something here? I’m sorry if I misread things. You’re really cute, and it’s making me flustered.”
Once again, Nick was speechless. His pulse went haywire as he stared at Sebastian, who was now acting nervous and adorably vulnerable, as opposed to the confident, coy man he’d been yesterday.
It was an act. Nick wasn’t certain how he knew, but sheepishness looked all wrong on Sebastian, as if he’d pulled on a costume that was two sizes too big. Red flags popped up all over Nick’s thoughts.
The apology gave him pause, however. He hadn’t expected that, and he wasn’t so prideful he couldn’t admit that he wanted to talk about yesterday. Closure was what he needed to put this whole thing behind him.
“All right, I’m down to talk about this.” Nick abandoned his sketch and fixed his full attention on Sebastian. “Yesterday, when you lured me behind the dining hall and . . . did what you did, you were seeing if I liked you? Because you could have asked me to get coffee or something. Why the whole mysterious act?”
Color appeared in Sebastian’s fair cheeks. “In retrospect, I realize I was a bit brash. Like I said, I was flustered. I guess I was trying to act cooler than I felt. Before, you said you already knew who I was. What have you heard about me?”
Ouch. There’s a question I don’t want to answer.
“Not much.” Nick coughed.
“Ah. I take it you’ve heard about my not-so-pleasant reputation. I was afraid of that.” His flush intensified. “I’m not proud of it. And I’m less proud to admit that sometimes I try to live up to the legend. It’s not the real me, though.”
Nick was intrigued despite himself. “Why?”
“Because everyone thinks I’m some kind of Casanova.” Sebastian shrugged. “Confident and charming and sexy. Who wouldn’t want to be those things? Yesterday, I saw a cute boy on campus who I wanted to talk to. So, I tried to be that guy. It was the only way I was able to work up the nerve to approach you.”
“Huh.” Nick twiddled his pencil. “I guess I can understand that.”
“I’m relieved.” Sebastian’s smile was back. “So, how about that coffee?”
Nick hesitated. “I don’t know.”
Sebastian’s shy expression fell off his face and was replaced with what seemed like genuine confusion. “Why not? I know you’re into me.”
The bluntness—and truth—of the statement made Nick’s brain go blank. It rebooted, but not fast enough for him to come up with a witty response. He blurted out the first thing that came to him. “Dude, I don’t know you. How can I be into you?”
At that, Sebastian chuckled. “There’s this thing called ‘physical attraction’ that people sometimes use to gauge their interest in others.”
“I know that.” Nick glanced away to hide his embarrassment, and his eyes ended up landing on a group of students sitting in the grass not far from the table. They were watching him and Sebastian and whispering to each other. The second Nick looked over, they pretended to check their phones. They couldn’t have been more obviously eavesdropping if they’d tried.
Jesus. I hope they can’t hear what we’re saying.
In Chicago, he’d always been surrounded by people, and yet it hadn’t felt anywhere near this invasive. There, he was one person in a sea of people who were all living their own lives. In this tiny place, it seemed as though the very trees around them were leaning down to hear the conversation.
Irritation prickled up Nick’s spine. He glared at Sebastian. “Look, pal, I don’t know if this is a game to you or some weird hazing ritual, but I’m not into it.”
Sebastian’s eyes went wide, but Nick couldn’t tell if it was from the accusation or the rebuff. “Why would I haze you? The Academy doesn’t have Greek life, and this sure as hell doesn’t seem like a frat house to me.”
“I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care, because I’m ninety percent sure I can’t give you what you want.”
“What I want?” Sebastian raised a dark eyebrow at him. “Nick, I came over here to say hi and to apologize for being so forward. Nothing more. Clearly, I rubbed you the wrong way, but I promise I have no sinister ulterior motives.”
“Why should I believe you?” A combination of uncertainty and mortification made Nick defensive. “You could be lying for all I know.”
“Why would I lie to you? As you pointed out, we don’t know each other.”
Hell if Nick knew, but something was up. He could smell it. You didn’t grow up in a big city without learning some street smarts. “I’m going to make this simple, Sebastian. Whatever game you’re playing, I’m not falling for it. If you want a hookup, you picked the wrong guy.”
Sebastian was silent for a long moment as he studied Nick’s face. Finally, he shrugged. “That’s a shame.”
“What, that I don’t want to hook up?”
“No, that you listened to the gossip about me. Why else would you think I want to hook up?”
Nick’s tongue tied itself into several complicated knots. “Well . . . you said—”
Sebastian shook his head, and his dark hair fell over his eyes like a shadow. “Don’t deny it. I have a past, and I’m not ashamed to admit it, but most of the shit in the rumor mill comes from people who have too much time on their hands. Since you weren’t from here, I thought . . .”
“You thought what?”
Sebastian sighed. “I thought you might be different. I thought maybe I had a shot with someone who didn’t have a preconceived notion of me. But you’re right. We really don’t know each other, do we?”
His words stabbed Nick in the gut. Sebastian moved to turn away.
Before he could think it through, Nick said, “Wait.”
Sebastian glanced at him, face wary. “What?”
Nick hesitated for a fraction of a second before he looked down at the grass and quietly asked, “Why did you—” Nick swallowed “—do, um, that? Brush your thumb against my lip, or whatever. It was so . . .” Intimate. He couldn’t make himself finish that sentence out loud.
There was a stark silence. Nick peeked up.
Sebastian’s face was unreadable, but his gray eyes sparked like flint. “Because I wanted to.”
Nick’s face heated. That was the first thing Sebastian had said to him that seemed like the absolute truth. Sebastian was stating a fact, and the knowledge made Nick tingle. Like it or not, he was definitely attracted to Sebastian.
“Oh. Okay.” Nick fished around for something else to say but came up blank.
Sebastian mercifully changed the subject. “I’m curious what exactly you heard about me. It must’ve been pretty terrible if it led you to reject me before you
’d had a real conversation with me.”
Nick flinched. “I suppose I owe you an apology for that. I did my best not to listen to what people said, but after what you did yesterday, it all added up. As for what I heard, they said you like to party, and, um, that you break hearts, and you, uh, sleep around.”
Sebastian’s expression was once again unreadable. “Ah, I see.”
“I don’t have an issue with that,” Nick babbled, suddenly nervous. “The sex part, I mean. Consenting adults can do what they want, and all that. I mean, it’s not something I would do, but to each their own, and, um—”
“Yeah, I get it. You’re Kelly Clarkson, and you don’t hook up. You like to make sweet love next to a roaring fire while soft music plays in the background. To each their own indeed.” Sebastian’s tone was wry. “For the record, my sex life isn’t as exciting as everyone thinks. People like to act like I’ve slept with everyone on the planet, when in fact, there’s a whole gender I won’t sleep with.”
Gears turned in Nick’s head. If Sebastian was telling the truth about his sex life—and that was admittedly a big if—then what Angela had said wasn’t true. That meant everything else Nick had heard could be false as well. Nothing but rumors. That put a whole new spin on this conversation.
“I see.” Nick glanced at the eavesdroppers, who were still buried in their phones. “I heard that you’re out, but is it a good idea to shout that you’re gay on a religious campus?”
“Trust me, honey, the administration can’t touch me. I’m the son of two pillars of the community and a prominent alumna. Hell, my mom’s the state attorney. The university can’t discriminate against me without bringing a legal and media shit-storm down on itself.”
That rubbed against grains Nick hadn’t realized he had. “Well, lucky you, I guess. Must be nice to have influential parents.” Or parents at all.
Sebastian looked at him askance. “You don’t have to worry either, you know. The administration doesn’t care, even if they have to keep up the pretense. So long as you’re discreet, you’ll be fine.”
The Academy Page 6
