Miss Mary Pennynickle’s
©
Fairytales of Foreboding
copyright 2011
Doozie Press
Fishkill, NY 12524
Edited by James DeSalvo
All rights reserved: This book may not be copied or reproduced without the express written consent of the author and/or publisher.
Hansel und Gretel
by Miss Mary Pennynickle
…Then Hansel and Gretel
Pushed the witch in the oven
For never more
Would she join her black coven
Hansel and Gretel were hungry
And in a bad mood.
“You’ve been fattened up,” said Gretel
“But I still need some food.”
“This house is too barren
This house is too sweet!
What I really want
Is a big slab of meat!”
Hansel looked through the house
Then he got a big grin.
He opened the oven
And said, “Now, let’s dig in.”
“What horror!” she shrieked
Still her stomach was hollow
Hansel gave her a slice
“Just have one swallow.”
The flesh tasted fine
The witch made a great meal.
It was great revenge
No remorse would they feel.
They rested awhile
And closed their tired eyes
When they woke up
They had quite a surprise
Their bodies did tingle
Their hearts went hither and ‘fro
Their heads became dizzy
Then did they know
The dark arts the witch played
The secrets she knew
Filled Hansel and Gretel
Black thoughts her flesh did imbue
Their horrible parents
Left them to die.
She said, “I bet they are tasty.
Let’s give them a try.”
They walked from the cottage
Hand over hand
Still licking their lips
From the flesh that was grand.
They wanted desert
They wanted something sweet.
They turned to the house
A different sight did they greet
The house wasn’t candy
It was made of old skin
Of all of the children
Who always went in.
Three bunnies hopped by
They look quite delicious
Hansel saw the look in their eyes
And grew very suspicious
“Come, my dear sister,
Let’s find our way home.”
Gretel thought of recipes
As her mouth started to foam.
“Do you think they still love us?”
Asked Gretel with a smile.
“I can’t wait to find out,”
Said he, “It’s only a mile.”
Within a half hour
At the crack of day
They came to their home
Hoping to stay.
They knocked on the door
They snuck into the house
“Be very quiet,” whispered Hansel
“Be as still as a mouse.”
Hansel and Gretel climbed the stairs
To their parents’ room
Their folks didn’t know
That they’d soon meet their doom.
“Mother and Father,” the kids whispered.
“Oh please, do wake up.”
Hansel and Gretel licked their lips
They could not wait to sup.
Mother and Father did wake up
To an unwelcome surprise
They both felt the fear
But continued their guise.
“Oh, children,” cried Mother,
“Thank God, you’re alive!”
Gretel cut off mom’s finger.
“Now you’ve got less than five.”
Mother screamed in pain
Father yelled, “I’m not at fault!”
Hansel decided to kill them
And cure their flesh with some salt.
Hansel and Gretel enjoyed
Their good morning meal.
“This meat,” said Gretel
“Is softer than veal.”
Parents don’t leave your children
To die. It’s not nice.
Because one day they’ll cook you
And serve you with cabbage and rice.
The End
Cinderella
By Miss Mary Pennynickle
…Cinderella did wish
She could go to the dance
But she was chained to the stove
And had nary a chance
She clawed and she pried
At her cast iron shackles
Her cries heard by naught
Then up went her hackles
The air grew quite still
It was frigid and stale
Then rose up from the floorboards
A figure obese and pale
Cinderella stammered and gasped
At the woman so round
Said the rotund figure
“Cinderella, up from the ground!”
Cinderella did stand
As she was advised
“Now,” said the woman
“Here’s the plan I’ve devised.”
“Who are you?” gasped Cinderella
“I’m your fairy godmother. We haven’t much time.”
The fairy godmother released the fair maiden
“Let’s clean off your grime.”
The fairy godmother told
Her plan for the night
“A princess you’ll be
To all others in sight.”
With a wave of her wand
Fair maid no longer a mess
In a gown and glass slippers
Godmother said “I have to confess.”
“Child, you listen. Leave
At twelve of the clock
Or you’ll be stuck with this family
Forever you they will mock.”
With wave of the wand
Cinderella was at the ball
She saw her stepfamily
As her flesh started to crawl
A touch on her hand
The prince stood at her side
“I’ve not had the honor,”
Said he as her smile grew wide
“Would you dance with me, please?”
They took to the floor
They whirled and they twirled
Until they could move no more
“You’re name, pray I ask you.”
He asked at the clock it did chime
She wanted to tell him
But was lacking in time
She ran into the night
But lost one glass shoe
The prince picked it up
“I will find you and woo.”
The days turned to weeks
His great love he’d not found
He almost gave up
But gave one last round
He found the right home
And told of his plan
The stepdaughters preened and they prepped
Then over they ran
“Let me try it on,”
Said the ugliest one
Her feet were too small
The prince did she shun
He tried the next daughter
Her feet large as a carriage
But she cut o
ff her toes
The shoe guaranteed marriage
The shoe fit her foot
The prince left with his bride
She moved into the castle
Her clan at her side
Cinderella came, too
To be but a maid
She was mad at this life
As her eyes grew dark by a shade
She picked up a knife
To hunt down her stepsister
Cinderella found her at last
And stabbed, but just missed her
“He was to be mine
But I still clean and I toil.”
Her sister had Cinderella carried away
And cooked in hot oil
Now my dear students
Pay close attention
You can hope for the best
But you won’t leave your station.
The End
Stone Soup
by Miss Mary Pennynickle
With only a cauldron the visitor came
He wanted shelter from the oncoming storm
His hopes sank in this poor little town
Windows broken and tattered streets were not the norm
The villagers peered from their tiny dark homes
To get a glimpse of their disheveled intruder.
They stood in their doorways not giving their names
Thought the visitor, “They couldn’t be ruder.”
He wanted some friends and somewhere to sleep
He needed to entice the dirty poor group
A flash struck his thoughts to get his wish
“Ah,” he said aloud. “I’ll make some very good soup.”
He dropped his very large pot
On the dark dusty ground.
He tossed a large rock onto the ironcast bottom
It rang out as the crowd gathered ‘round.
“What are you doing?” asked a slender tall man.
“I’m making my soup. Delicious with stone!”
Gasped a silly young girl
“You can’t serve that alone.”
“That pot is too dry to make a good meal.
I’ll run to gather some water.”
The visitor chuckled at his very good plan
Easier than thought. He proved himself smarter.
The villagers built fire for heat
The cauldron needed a lot
Water was poured into the soup
“Is that all you’ve got?”
The villagers ran hither and ‘fro
To get good things for a wonderful feast
They spared whatever they could
It bothered them not in the least
“I’ve got some stale bread,” said an old crone.
She tossed it in as it boiled and churned
“These are greens from my garden here in my hand
I’ll throw the right in. This soup it has earned.”
The townspeople tossed in whatever they had
Be it too salty or quite sweet
The visitor tasted the soup.
“Ah, it is good. But it still needs some meat.”
“But good sir,” cried out one
“We have naught but these goods.”
The visitor had asked far too much
He now understood.
“Well, good friends, gather your bowls and let’s dig in.”
Yet the villagers would not take a seat.
“You’ve asked for more food.
We will give you your meat.”
Shovels were brought forth
“To the graves we shall go.
Let’s dig up the freshest.”
The visitor cried out “Oh, no!”
“It’s what we do to serve guests.
The dead do not mind.
Now poke the ground with your shovel.
They’re easy to find.”
The visitor gasped into his hand
He started to run.
The slender tall man took back his shovel
“But it’s all just in fun.”
From the grave they dragged Grandpa
Freshly dead but two weeks
The townspeople tossed him in
With some garlic and leeks.
A young girl with a cup filled to the brim
Walked over. “Please, do dig in.
That’s my Granddaddy Pete,”
She said with a grin.
The visitor heaved at the sight
Of the flesh falling from skull
“I cannot eat this vile thing!”
Then there was a lull
“Good sir, we have given you food
From our hearts and our homes.
What more can be given to one
Who on the road always roams?”
“But I taught the secret of sharing
Yet you dig your food from a hole!”
“We’ve always had meat.
Just not a stone and a very large bowl.”
The visitor went mad
Buried alive he did rot
One day he’ll be cooked
In the lesson he taught.
The End
Snow White
by Miss Mary Pennynickle
On the floor did they find her
Their lovely Snow White
An apple she clutched
Her breathing not right
The dwarves lifted her body
Miss Mary Pennynickle's Fairytales of Foreboding Page 1
