The MirrorWorld Anthology

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The MirrorWorld Anthology Page 6

by Cornelia Funke


  Soft pickle – Once thought by the ancient Lower Marsh witches to stave off fleas and witch hunters, this supple, fleshy pickle is now known to simply enhance charisma and conceal wickedness.

  Ether pickle – An airy, delicate pickle divined from the emotions and dreams of the child, these include giggle relishes, bitterkraut, and brined hopes. By far the most mystical, ethereal, and vague of all pickle varieties, this is the only type of child pickle that contains no actual tangible matter: it is just the brined essence of the child’s psyche.

  All child pickles require at least one year of brining, at dank cellar temperatures, and will only get better with time.

  Littles of Smirk

  Filch smirks. Boil them. When the peak comes, add wine and spirits from ochre and lore. Crush beetle shells, meent stems, and seeds underfoot of gelding stomp. Moisten by vinegar, garum, and dribbled triumph of Goyl. Plenty garum as desired but never more than presses the soul. Bind in oak.

  Pastel de Leonia

  As the mortals’ war fell upon Leonia, the resulting influx of orphans gave rise to this flaky delicacy. Pythoneses opened the first, and wickedly successful, pastelaria. Peasants and kings alike remained ignorant of the ingredients, that brought rage and war to a man’s mind, and passion to the hearts of women and priests.

  The puff pastry:

  One fork of wool flour

  One forearm of orphan’s grime

  Butter, to feel

  Juice of carrot

  Innards:

  Dark irises of orphan’s eye

  Horse’s foam

  Curdled milk of goat Cinnamon

  Tart stalk

  For baking:

  Moth cocoon silk

  Sweet gumption

  Squeeze the butter with the orphan sweat using the fist of only the left hand. Mix in the juice and flour and let harden. Beat the milk, irises, foam, stalk, and cinnamon with a wet cudgel. Stack the pastry, alternating layers of hardened dough with foamy innard paste. Cut into pieces the size of the child’s open palm. Wrap the individual pieces in moth cocoon silk, cast into the flames for 6 turns of a wineskin, then cool with the gumption.

  Child Suet Pudding

  2 hands of child’s suet, mashed rough

  2 cups of grapes, dried

  4 cups gristle

  Albumen of 1 egg of butchered quail

  Pinch of sleep crust from dozing tot

  1 fingernail of greened cream

  Stuff into a pudding bag and boil at midsun for three twists.

  Confuse sweetness with lingonberry.

  Holdover Bastard Hash

  3 bowls of chopped knee and ankle and knuckle meat from abandoned bastard child

  2 grabs of Heinzel hair

  2 bowls of currants

  2 drops of leper puss

  3 megs of nut

  Sour cream, turned good

  In this twilight, dare to provoke the dead with Heinzel hair in teeth. Buried is the forest’s heart with the puss and currants and meat and nuts and cream. Bring the aroma to dance in the willows and grasp nothing but the claws made to appear.

  A Modern Compendium of Mischievous & Miraculous Plants from Austry & Lotheraine

  A botanical guide, by F.G. Ozwalt, highlighting some of MirrorWorld’s most fiendish, but unassuming residents.

  ~ ~ ~

  For Marian,

  This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrow’s happiness grow.

  Bird Tree

  Arboreus Aviarium

  This diabolical deciduous has bark as spiny as the shell of a chestnut, and its conspicuously sparse canopy has the miraculous paradoxical effect of filtering sunlight into a gloomy brown haze. The tree’s roots lay on or just under the forest floor, extending much further out than the tree’s branches — as far as 50 feet — and often growing as thick as a man’s waist. The oldest roots, like the bark, are covered in spines.

  Victims of the Bird Tree are ensnared and strangled by its grasping roots, whereupon the tree’s feathery inhabitants descend from its branches to gorge on the prey. In return, the birds spread the tree’s seeds, and eat insects that threaten its bark and leaves. The birds’ plumage is white as virgin snow; they have long, sharp crimson beaks, and eyes like dark red berries.

  Bird Trees are usually surrounded by a mixture of rotting leaves and bones — the skeletons of unlucky animals and ignorant humans — creating a kind of self-generating mulch of death that both nourishes the soil and conceals its lurking roots.

  The Fairy Lily

  Lillium Nympha

  The Fairy Lily, renowned for imparting exceptional beauty, is one of the most sought-after plants in the world. Unfortunately, most extracts purveyed as Fairy Lily are in fact Moor Lily, and have no magical traits whatsoever. Genuine Fairy Lilies grow only on lakes inhabited by Fairies, and such lakes are nearly impossible to find unless under the spell of a Fairy, as they are invisible to the unenchanted eye, and are guarded by herds of deadly unicorns.

  The Lily’s bloom is white, and once fully opened is almost one foot wide. Its invigorating scent is said to cause feelings of bliss and timelessness. It is also rumored that the petals can conceal the bearer from the eyes of Fairies.

  The best preparation for beautification is achieved by drying the petals and then soaking them in rose water. After three days the essence must be applied to the skin. The transformational effect is almost immediate.

  Interestingly, the Mirror Flower has a beautifying effect very similar to the Fairy Lily, but its magic lasts for only a few hours.

  Gold Tree

  Arborieus Aureolus

  An exceptionally rare deciduous hardwood tree, whose delicate oval leaves shower whoever shakes its branches with either pollen or pure gold dust. The pollen carries a powerful, disgusting stench that permeates the clothes and skin, and won’t wash off for days. The gold dust, on the other hand, is of extremely high purity, and is much sought-after by goldsmiths and jewelers.

  The Gold Tree tends to be unpredictable when it comes to dispensing its favors, but it is said to release its precious metal only as a reward for a noble and unselfish deed, or to a person whose heart is filled with compassion and love. These claims cannot be verified.

  Moor Comfrey

  Symphytum Aequor

  Moor Comfrey is best known as a powerful pain reliever. Ironically, it only grows in dangerous territory such as swamps, bogs, and moors, marking places where people have been swallowed by the deadly environments. The plant’s flowers are dark purple bells, spotted with red. The leaves are velvety soft and are very sweet to eat. The most valuable medicinal part of the plant, however, is its deep reaching roots.

  When pulled from the ground, the plant releases a quiet, unsettling sigh, and the ground around it immediately gives way like quicksand. This collapsing of the ground can be deadly, and both Witches and herb collectors are careful to approach the plants only by first covering the ground around them with long wooden planks.

  Old Austry legends claim that Moor Comfreys are guarded by angry gnomes who dig their tunnels between the roots and drag intruders by their legs into the soft ground.

  Nightingale Flower

  Cerintha Ales Alitis

  These delightful flowers are found mostly in Lotheraine, enthralling travelers who venture into its beautiful countryside. When moonlight hits the flower, the petals open and release a hauntingly beautiful melody that resembles a nightingale’s song.

  Sadly, the Nightingale Flower loses its melodic magic when cut or pulled from the ground. Many kings of Lotheraine have tried in vain to introduce the flowers into their palace gardens, and many unfortunate gardeners have been executed for their failures in this respect. It is said that o
nly a completely innocent heart can induce a Nightingale Flower to grow in one’s garden — a trait rarely found in kings of Lotheraine.

  Goyl Rose

  Rosa Lapillus

  This fabled “flower made of stone” was long considered a myth — especially after the one on display in the Imperial Chambers of Miracles proved to have been a fake, crafted by a gifted jeweler. But Kam’ien, King of the Goyl, presented the first known aboveground Goyl Rose as a gift to the Dark Fairy at a royal ball in Vena.

  Goyl Roses can take up to 25 years to fully develop, and never wither or die, even after they are cut. The Goyl claim that the scent of the flower can heal any illness of body or mind; that the petals when put under the tongue allow one to see the dead; and that the fruit when consumed gives the strength of ten men. More credible evidence suggests its thorns carry a powerful poison that can turn enemies into willing slaves, but most Goyl sources deny this claim.

  There is also an old legend that the OnyxLords bred the plant successfully aboveground in their Secret Gardens. But this powerful plant grows only deep underground — so deep that every human who has set out to find it has perished on their quest.

  Choke Vine

  Labrusca Strangulo

  Though easily mistaken for a member of the bramble family, as the leaves and blossoms are so similar, the fruit of the Choke Vine is much smaller than a bramble's, and is covered with a coarse dark plumage. The vine and its berries are used by Witches for various intestinal ailments, and are often distilled into a delicious liquor that serves as a digestive.

  In early spring the vine spreads ferociously, crawling up trees, rock faces and fences, and strangling everything in its path. Choke Vines have been employed by armies at war to build dangerous barriers and traps for their enemies, and by highwaymen to catch unsuspecting travelers. Victims become tangled in the thorny vines and are slowly choked to death. A deft and calm victim, however, may be able to free himself if, and only if, the vine is still young. The thorns, however, invariably cause serious wounds that can easily become infected, and will often result in death within a few days.

  Only when the vine actually bears its fruit, in late summer, can it be safely approached.

  Shadow Daisy

  Bellis Umbra Scarabaeus

  This small booby-trapped flower has dark blue petals surrounding a golden seed capsule. When stepped on, the center capsule opens up and releases a swarm of beetles. The sting of the beetles is extremely painful, and more than three bites can be fatal.

  The Shadow Daisy grows under large solitary trees in otherwise open spaces — most commonly in forest clearings, fields, and meadows — precisely where travelers tend to stop for shade, rest, or lunch.

  Forgetyourself

  Amomum Bacchus

  The scent of this unassuming white flower, when inhaled deeply, causes a devastating loss of memory, self control, and scruples. Victims typically forget their name, their family, their past — their entire identity.

  While the flower is coveted by Witches and Harm Apothecaries alike, it owes its fame mostly to its use by Bluebeards, who enrapture maidens by attaching its flowers to their dresses or their hair. The Forgetyourself thrives in the labyrinths that guard the mansions of Bluebeards, and fills their murderous corridors with its sweet, innocent bouquet.

  Witch Birch

  Betula Flagellum

  Witch Birch grows almost exclusively around the gingerbread houses of Child Eating Witches. The trees with the white bark and slender trunks let children pass freely, but help guard the Witches from all other visitors. Their pointy, razor-tipped branches are drawn to the eyes of passersby, and they rarely miss.

  Tomb Cloves

  Trifolieae Mortis

  Interestingly, Tomb Cloves are actually members of the clover family. For reasons not entirely clear — though likely through colloquial evolution and laziness — their name has become shortened to "cloves." And as the name further suggests, these aromatic herbs are grown to accompany the dead. Planted in tombs to protect against grave robbers, they cover their corpses with a lush carpet of green blossoms. Their poisonous pollen can survive for centuries, and once inhaled will cause the skin to break out in a deadly mold that kills the intruder within minutes.

  Only the seeds of Dwarf Hemlock can stave off the lethal effect of Tomb Cloves — but one must be careful not to confuse these with the seeds of Dragon Hemlock, which are traditionally used for suicide.

  Journal of Ogres

  The tragically unfinished field journal of MirrorWorld naturalist Heinrich Eichholz.

  THE ONE-EYED OGRE

  Despite the fact that most Ogres have two eyes, and some even three, the One-Eyed is the breed most casual observers will picture when they think of Ogres — no doubt because of its powerful cyclopean connotation. The One-Eyed Ogre is often considered less dangerous than other breeds, as the single eye seems to make us believe that we will be able to more easily hide from its view. This is a very dangerous misconception, as the One-Eyed has a highly developed sense of smell and can detect human flesh from a distance of half a mile or more. Like all Ogres, both male and female, it prefers the flesh of male humans, but will prey on women and children for his offspring, as the meat is softer and easier for their developing teeth to masticate.

  The One-Eyed Ogre can be found in both blue-eyed and yellow-eyed subtypes. The latter hunts mostly at night, whereas the blue-eyed is very comfortable and functional in both daylight and moonlight.

  THE GREY SCALED OGRE

  The Grey Scaled Ogre is the only variety of Ogre, to my knowledge, that chooses not to wear clothes. Most other Ogres develop a sense for fashion, often even capturing tailors and seamstresses to make clothes out of their victims’ belongings; but the Grey Scaled clads itself only in dirt and clay, rolling in mud until it dries over its entire body.

  Another unique trait of the Grey Scaled: It prefers to eat its victims raw, unlike its blue skinned relatives who mostly cook their meat.

  THE WATER OGRE

  Whereas most other Ogres prefer — and seem to enjoy — clubbing their victims to death, the Water Ogre is known for drowning its prey. It hides submerged in ponds and swamps, whence it pounces and drags its victims into the water. Notably, its eyes, like that of a frog, are covered with a thin transparent skin — an aquatic adaptation, no doubt, that assists with its watery modus operandi.

  The Water Ogre favors dark clothing — preferably loosely tailored suits — the dripping wet fabric typically covered with algae, snails, and pond scum.

  The most striking characteristic of the Water Ogre is its raw, hideous, utterly disgusting appearance.

  THE SNOW OGRE

  The little known, but eminently ferocious Snow Ogre is of Norgian descent. It freezes its victim in ice blocks and keeps them in this state, sometimes for years. I have discovered Snow Ogre caves containing as many as 50 frozen corpses, apparently as winter provisions.

  THE NOSELESS OGRE

  A very interesting variety — this Ogre cannot smell its victims, as most Ogres can, but rather listens for them. Its ears are similar to the those of a cat, and, also like cats, it spends much of its time simply lying on the ground, listening for footsteps or hoof beats.

  THE DWARF OGRE

  Deceptively comical in appearance, one would be wise to resist the urge to laugh when confronting a Dwarf Ogre. For while they are much smaller than their human prey, they are incredibly fast and strong. They mostly hide in trees and pounce on their victims.

  THE OAK BARK OGRE

  Oak Bark Ogres are a subvariety of One-Eyed Ogres, with a distinctive defining gastronomic characteristic: They cook their victims in a rarefied soup prepared from oak bark and pheasant skin. Otherwise, see One-Eyed Ogre for description.

 

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