by E. Nesbit
“How perfectly lovely!” Alice said; “he must have sat up all night to do it. He is good. I expect he’s trying to live the higher life, too—just going about doing secretly, and spending his time making other people’s houses pretty.”
“I wonder what he’d have done if the room had had a large pattern of brown roses on it, like Mrs. Beale’s,” said Noël. “I say, look at that angel! Isn’t it poetical? It makes me feel I must write something about it.”
It was a good angel—all drawn in grey, that was—with very wide wings going right across the room, and a whole bundle of lilies in his arms. Then there were seagulls and ravens, and butterflies, and ballet girls with butterflies’ wings, and a man with artificial wings being fastened on, and you could see he was just going to jump off a rock. And there were fairies, and bats, and flying-foxes, and flying-fish. And one glorious winged horse done in red chalk—and his wings went from one side of the room to the other, and crossed the angel’s. There were dozens and dozens of birds—all done in just a few lines—but exactly right. You couldn’t make any mistake about what anything was meant for.
And all the things, whatever they were, had wings to them. How Oswald wishes that those pictures had been done in his house!
While we stood gazing, the door of the other room opened, and the gentleman stood before us, more covered with different-coloured chalks than I should have thought he could have got, even with all those drawings, and he had a thing made of wire and paper in his hand, and he said—
“Wouldn’t you like to fly?”
“Yes,” said every one.
“Well then,” he said, “I’ve got a nice little flying-machine here. I’ll fit it on to one of you, and then you jump out of the attic window. You don’t know what it’s like to fly.”
We said we would rather not.
“But I insist,” said the gentleman. “I have your real interest at heart, my children—I can’t allow you in your ignorance to reject the chance of a lifetime.”
We still said “No, thank you,” and we began to feel very uncomfy, for the gentleman’s eyes were now rolling wildly.
“Then I’ll make you!” he said, catching hold of Oswald.
“You jolly well won’t,” cried Dicky, catching hold of the arm of the gentleman.
Then Dora said very primly and speaking rather slowly, and she was very pale—
“I think it would be lovely to fly. Will you just show me how the flying-machine looks when it is unfolded?”
The gentleman dropped Oswald, and Dora made “Go! go” with her lips without speaking, while he began to unfold the flying-machine. We others went, Oswald lingering last, and then in an instant Dora had nipped out of the room and banged the door and locked it.
“To the Mill!” she cried, and we ran like mad, and got in and barred the big door, and went up to the first floor, and looked out of the big window to warn off Mrs. Beale.
And we thumped Dora on the back, and Dicky called her a Sherlock Holmes, and Noël said she was a heroine.
“It wasn’t anything,” Dora said, just before she began to cry, “only I remember reading that you must pretend to humour them, and then get away, for of course I saw at once he was a lunatic. Oh, how awful it might have been! He could have made us all jump out of the attic window, and there would have been no one left to tell Father. Oh! oh!” and then the crying began.
But we were proud of Dora, and I am sorry we make fun of her sometimes, but it is difficult not to.
We decided to signal the first person that passed, and we got Alice to take off her red flannel petticoat for a signal.
The first people who came were two men in a dog-cart. We waved the signalising petticoat and they pulled up, and one got out and came up to the Mill.
We explained about the lunatic and the wanting us to jump out of the windows.
“Right oh!” cried the man to the one still in the cart; “got him.” And the other hitched the horse to the gate and came over, and the other went to the house.
“Come along down, young ladies and gentlemen,” said the second man when he had been told. “He’s as gentle as a lamb. He does not think it hurts to jump out of windows. He thinks it really is flying. He’ll be like an angel when he sees the doctor.”
We asked if he had been mad before, because we had thought he might have suddenly gone so.
“Certainly he has!” replied the man; “he has never been, so to say, himself since tumbling out of a flying-machine he went up in with a friend. He was an artist previous to that—an excellent one, I believe. But now he only draws objects with wings—and now and then he wants to make people fly—perfect strangers sometimes, like yourselves. Yes, miss, I am his attendant, and his pictures often amuse me by the half-hours together, poor gentleman.”
“How did he get away?” Alice asked.
“Well, miss, the poor gentleman’s brother got hurt and Mr. Sidney—that’s him inside—seemed wonderfully put out and hung over the body in a way pitiful to see. But really he was extracting the cash from the sufferer’s pockets. Then, while all of us were occupied with Mr. Eustace, Mr. Sidney just packs his portmanteau and out he goes by the back door. When we missed him we sent for Dr. Baker, but by the time he came it was too late to get here. Dr. Baker said at once he’d revert to his boyhood’s home. And the doctor has proved correct.”
We had all come out of the Mill, and with this polite person we went to the gate, and saw the lunatic get into the carriage, very gentle and gay.
“But, Doctor,” Oswald said, “he did say he’d give nine pounds a week for the rooms. Oughtn’t he to pay?”
“You might have known he was mad to say that,” said the doctor. “No. Why should he, when it’s his own sister’s house? Gee up!”
And he left us.
It was sad to find the gentleman was not a Higher Life after all, but only mad. And I was more sorry than ever for poor Miss Sandal. As Oswald pointed out to the girls they are much more blessed in their brothers than Miss Sandal is, and they ought to be more grateful than they are.
THE SMUGGLER’S REVENGE
The days went on and Miss Sandal did not return. We went on being very sorry about Miss Sandal being so poor, and it was not our fault that when we tried to let the house in lodgings, the first lodger proved to be a lunatic of the deepest dye. Miss Sandal must have been a fairly decent sort, because she seems not to have written to Father about it. At any rate he didn’t give it us in any of our letters, about our good intentions and their ending in a maniac.
Oswald does not like giving up a thing just because it has once been muffed. The muffage of a plan is a thing that often happens at first to heroes—like Bruce and the spider, and other great characters. Beside, grown-ups always say—
“If at first you don’t succeed,
Try, try, try again!”
And if this is the rule for Euclid and rule-of-three and all the things you would rather not do, think how much more it must be the rule when what you are after is your own idea, and not just the rotten notion of that beast Euclid, or the unknown but equally unnecessary author who composed the multiplication table. So we often talked about what we could do to make Miss Sandal rich. It gave us something to jaw about when we happened to want to sit down for a bit, in between all the glorious wet sandy games that happen by the sea.
Of course if we wanted real improving conversation we used to go up to the boat-house and talk to the coastguards. I do think coastguards are A1. They are just the same as sailors, having been so in their youth, and you can get at them to talk to, which is not the case with sailors who are at sea (or even in harbours) on ships. Even if you had the luck to get on to a man-of-war, you would very likely not be able to climb to the top-gallants to talk to the man there. Though in books the young hero always seems able to climb to the mast-head the moment
he is told to. The coastguards told us tales of Southern ports, and of shipwrecks, and officers they had not cottoned to, and messmates that they had, but when we asked them about smuggling they said there wasn’t any to speak of nowadays.
“I expect they think they oughtn’t to talk about such dark crimes before innocent kids like us,” said Dicky afterwards, and he grinned as he said it.
“Yes,” said Alice; “they don’t know how much we know about smugglers, and bandits, and highwaymen, and burglars, and coiners,” and she sighed, and we all felt sad to think that we had not now any chance to play at being these things.
“We might play smugglers,” said Oswald.
But he did not speak hopefully. The worst of growing up is that you seem to want more and more to have a bit of the real thing in your games. Oswald could not now be content to play at bandits and just capture Albert next door, as once, in happier days, he was pleased and proud to do.
It was not a coastguard that told us about the smugglers. It was a very old man that we met two or three miles along the beach. He was leaning against a boat that was wrong way up on the shingle, and smoking the strongest tobacco Oswald’s young nose has ever met. I think it must have been Black Jack. We said, “How do you do?” and Alice said, “Do you mind if we sit down near you?”
“Not me,” replied the aged seafarer. We could see directly that he was this by his jersey and his sea-boots.
The girls sat down on the beach, but we boys leaned against the boat like the seafaring one. We hoped he would join in conversation, but at first he seemed too proud. And there was something dignified about him, bearded and like a Viking, that made it hard for us to begin.
At last he took his pipe out of his mouth and said—
“Here’s a precious Quakers’ meeting! You didn’t set down here just for to look at me?”
“I’m sure you look very nice,” Dora said.
“Same to you, miss, I’m sure,” was the polite reply.
“We want to talk to you awfully,” said Alice, “if you don’t mind?”
“Talk away,” said he.
And then, as so often happens, no one could think of anything to say.
Suddenly Noël said, “I think you look nice too, but I think you look as though you had a secret history. Have you?”
“Not me,” replied the Viking-looking stranger. “I ain’t got no history, nor jog-graphy neither. They didn’t give us that much schooling when I was a lad.”
“Oh!” replied Noël; “but what I really meant was, were you ever a pirate or anything?”
“Never in all my born,” replied the stranger, now thoroughly roused; “I’d scorn the haction. I was in the navy, I was, till I lost the sight of my eye, looking too close at gunpowder. Pirates is snakes, and they ought to be killed as such.”
We felt rather sorry, for though of course it is very wrong to be a pirate, it is very interesting too. Things are often like this. That is one of the reasons why it is so hard to be truly good.
Dora was the only one who was pleased. She said—
“Yes, pirates are very wrong. And so are highwaymen and smugglers.”
“I don’t know about highwaymen,” the old man replied; “they went out afore my time, worse luck; but my father’s great-uncle by the mother’s side, he see one hanged once. A fine upstanding fellow he was, and made a speech while they was a-fitting of the rope. All the women was snivelling and sniffing and throwing bokays at him.”
“Did any of the bouquets reach him?” asked the interested Alice.
“Not likely,” said the old man. “Women can’t never shy straight. But I shouldn’t wonder but what them posies heartened the chap up a bit. An afterwards they was all a-fightin’ to get a bit of the rope he was hung with, for luck.”
“Do tell us some more about him,” said all of us but Dora.
“I don’t know no more about him. He was just hung—that’s all. They was precious fond o’ hangin’ in them old far-away times.”
“Did you ever know a smuggler?” asked H.O.—“to speak to, I mean?”
“Ah, that’s tellings,” said the old man, and he winked at us all.
So then we instantly knew that the coastguards had been mistaken when they said there were no more smugglers now, and that this brave old man would not betray his comrades, even to friendly strangers like us. But of course he could not know exactly how friendly we were. So we told him.
Oswald said—
“We love smugglers. We wouldn’t even tell a word about it if you would only tell us.”
“There used to be lots of smuggling on these here coasts when my father was a boy,” he said; “my own father’s cousin, his father took to the smuggling, and he was a doin’ so well at it, that what does he do, but goes and gets married, and the Preventives they goes and nabs him on his wedding-day, and walks him straight off from the church door, and claps him in Dover Jail.”
“Oh, his poor wife,” said Alice, “whatever did she do?”
“She didn’t do nothing,” said the old man. “It’s a woman’s place not to do nothing till she’s told to. He’d done so well at the smuggling, he’d saved enough by his honest toil to take a little public. So she sets there awaitin’ and attendin’ to customers—for well she knowed him, as he wasn’t the chap to let a bit of a jail stand in the way of his station in life. Well, it was three weeks to a day after the wedding, there comes a dusty chap to the ‘Peal of Bells’ door. That was the sign over the public, you understand.”
We said we did, and breathlessly added, “Go on!”
“A dusty chap he was; got a beard and a patch over one eye, and he come of a afternoon when there was no one about the place but her.
“‘Hullo, missis,’ says he; ‘got a room for a quiet chap?’
“‘I don’t take in no men-folks,’ says she; ‘can’t be bothered with ’em.’
“‘You’ll be bothered with me, if I’m not mistaken,’ says he.
“‘Bothered if I will,’ says she.
“‘Bothered if you won’t,’ says he, and with that he ups with his hand and off comes the black patch, and he pulls off the beard and gives her a kiss and a smack on the shoulder. She always said she nearly died when she see it was her new-made bridegroom under the beard.
“So she took her own man in as a lodger, and he went to work up at Upton’s Farm with his beard on, and of nights he kept up the smuggling business. And for a year or more no one knowd as it was him. But they got him at last.”
“What became of him?” We all asked it.
“He’s dead,” said the old man. “But, Lord love you, so’s everybody as lived in them far-off old ancient days—all dead—Preventives too—and smugglers and gentry: all gone under the daisies.”
We felt quite sad. Oswald hastily asked if there wasn’t any smuggling now.
“Not hereabouts,” the old man answered, rather quickly for him. “Don’t you go for to think it. But I did know a young chap—quite young he is with blue eyes—up Sunderland way it was. He’d got a goodish bit o’ baccy and stuff done up in a ole shirt. And as he was a-goin’ up off of the beach a coastguard jumps out at him, and he says to himself, ‘All u. p. this time,’ says he. But out loud he says, ‘Hullo, Jack, that you? I thought you was a tramp,’ says he.
“‘What you got in that bundle?’ says the coastguard.
“‘My washing,’ says he, ‘and a couple pairs of old boots.’
“Then the coastguard he says, ‘Shall I give you a lift with it?’ thinking in himself the other chap wouldn’t part if it was anything it oughtn’t to be. But that young chap was too sharp. He says to himself, ‘If I don’t he’ll nail me, and if I do—well, there’s just a chance.’
“So he hands over the bundle, and the coastguard he thinks it must be all right
, and he carries it all the way up to his mother’s for him, feeling sorry for the mean suspicions he’d had about the poor old chap. But that didn’t happen near here. No, no.”
I think Dora was going to say, “Old chap—but I thought he was young with blue eyes?” but just at that minute a coastguard came along and ordered us quite harshly not to lean on the boat. He was quite disagreeable about it—how different from our own coastguards! He was from a different station to theirs. The old man got off very slowly. And all the time he was arranging his long legs so as to stand on them, the coastguard went on being disagreeable as hard as he could, in a loud voice.
When our old man had told the coastguard that no one ever lost anything by keeping a civil tongue in his head, we all went away feeling very angry.
Alice took the old man’s hand as we went back to the village, and asked him why the coastguard was so horrid.
“They gets notions into their heads,” replied the old man; “the most innocentest people they comes to think things about. It’s along of there being no smuggling in these ere parts now. The coastguards ain’t got nothing to do except think things about honest people.”
We parted from the old man very warmly, all shaking hands. He lives at a cottage not quite in the village, and keeps pigs. We did not say goodbye till we had seen all the pigs.
I daresay we should not have gone on disliking that disagreeable coastguard so much if he had not come along one day when we were talking to our own coastguards, and asked why they allowed a pack of young shavers in the boat-house. We went away in silent dignity, but we did not forget, and when we were in bed that night Oswald said—
“Don’t you think it would be a good thing if the coastguards had something to do?”
